You know, that what you worship is your idol? And what you idolize, that essentially is your master. (2 Peter 2:19b)
Have you ever considered this? The thing you spend the most time thinking about and on, is most likely the thing that is your biggest pit-fall? The one thing that you hold so tight too, and do not want to let go of for fear of loosing? Yes. That is the thing we are TO let go of. In my case...sorrow tends to be something I have a hard time letting go of. I say..."that is my pain to hold" Or that is "my thorn in my flesh.." but even though Peter begged with the Lord to remove His thorn, the Lord did not return with answers of "Yes Peter, I'll make your life perfect..." Rather, the thorn is what kept Peter running back to the Lord. That the thorn is what kept Peter confident in the Lord rather than himself. God is not cruel. He does not want us to be in pain, rather He wants us to be victorious in our difficult circumstances. It's like the parent who does not come and fish the wayward child out of every puddle they fall in. Sometimes the child has to learn either to ask for help, or how to avoid the puddles all together. You see? I have been sitting in my own puddle for quite some time. Tears streaming down, focus completely inward, eyes looking intently at my soppy state. Rather, God is saying, " Here's a towel, ask me for it. Here is a cup of warm tea to warm yourself with, ask me for it!!! Here is a fire I have built for you to sit by, come sit with me here." And I keep saying, "Oh but God I'm so cold!" and " Oh Father, you just don't understand how soppy I am!! It will take forever for me to dry..." and on I go complaining, sitting in my puddle. This is NOT the life God would have for me. THIS is not His idea of victorious living. NO. This is called wallowing. And you know who wallows? Swine. I am not very fond of swine. they stink. The snort. They live in dirty conditions, and in reality they actually LIKE the mud. I do not want to be a swine. SO, today as the Lord once again encouraged me in another layer of truth to stand up and get out of my puddle, I said once more.."OK...I'll try." And with weak arms, I struggled to pull myself up. But as I rose out of the water, do you know what happened...? He grabbed my hand. He helped me. He held me up as I shook the mud from my feet, and wiped my tears away. He handed me a towel, and held my hand as He led me to the fire of His holy grace. Grace. I took my eyes off of my lonely conditions for one second, and placed them on His plan for me, His purpose for even my pain, and this is what I saw: grace. A new beginning. A chance to begin anew. And the strength in which to do it in. That is what I received in return for my filth. I gave Him my weakness, and He gave me strength. I gave Him my sorrow, and He gave me joy. I gave Him my wet, soppy, mud soaked clothes, and He gave me hope laced, pure white linen. As I put on my new clothes, I realized, the trial was still there. I still had the thorn, but He showed me what to do with the sorrow, where to put it, and how to move forward. As I handed Him my pain and sorrows, He smiled at me. I actually FELT this smile. It warmed my soul. With tear stained cheeks, and new white clothes, I moved around the puddle, I realized wallowing, was not helping. We all have something that causes us grief. We all have something that is our "if only this was not here, all would be well..." but friends, let me tell you, you can live victorious even with your "if only." We just need to learn how from the one who gives us all we need. Our heavenly Father knows us, hears us, loves us and longs to show us what victorious life actually looks like. To thrive. Not survive. That is the goal. No more wallowing. Sorrow, although you are there...you are not my master. I have only one Master..and in His hands, I know I am held. Thanks be to God for this indescribable gift. All Praise, And Glory, And Honor are due...and In He alone, Am I VICTORIOUS. (and you can be too)