God's Agenda

It's funny how in life, we wake up and decide, "this is what I want to do with my life.." and then we go for it. Truly, that is how it is with most of us, I was this way in high-school. I never really prayed about what I should do, I just had a thought, and went for it. Now, it ended up turning out OK, and now I'm blessed to have the job I have now, being a Mommy...
But I went off to beauty school...I'm being honest with you friends, I never prayed, "Lord, is this what you would have me do?"
I wish I would have....
Beauty school was one long nightmare...I love doing hair, and feel God gave me that passion, but the place, the timing and the people seemed all wrong as I look back, but God is faithful...
Today, as I sat and listened to the sermon, our pastor spoke on the aspect of prayer. Not just praying..."Lord help me do this..." but prayers that cut to the heart of the issues, a prayer for the Holy Spirit to so invade our lives that all we think, do and say is steered as ship's utter by the direction of the Holy Spirit. I never considered that thought in such in-depth detail.
I heard it said this past year in BSF my bible study on John, that the Holy Spirit is our compass, guiding us and directing us through life, and the word to highlight what we need to learn of His direct words to our hearts.
Which is amazing that such directing is available to you and to me. I'm left wondering, why have I never considered such direction before? And now I think, is that true for me in my life?
Has the Holy Spirit SO invaded my every thought, movement and word, that my life is not really "my" life, but God's agenda being lived out in me? Oh what a goal.
And friends, it's more than a goal, it can be a reality if we only ask for it. BUT, we have to ask, and we have to desire truly, and honestly and pray, truly and honestly. The desire has to be real, in order for the Holy Spirit to be real to us. New thoughts for me friends.
You know what this means tangibly speaking? My words are not my words...my thoughts are not my thoughts, my actions are not my actions.
My neighbor wrongs me, and I desire nothing more than to spew the wrong doings to the first person I see, what do I do when I'm on God's agenda, I love my neighbor...(sound familiar?)
You husband or wife upsets you, you want to scream not nice things to them, what do I do on God's agenda? I remain silent before them and the Lord, waiting for His direction to my heart as to what I should do and say next.
My heart rages with jealousy because "so and so" got something I wanted, or has "such an easy life" or never has to try for anything, it just happens...what do I do on God's agenda...I say NO to the fleshly feelings, I turn my eyes towards the words of Christ and say, "Away from me Satan, I want nothing to do with your evil desires for me.."
Doesn't that look different that what we having going on with us today? I know it does for me. When I look at my life, my life screams.."My agenda." I REALLY want that to change.
So what is the first step in allowing God to take on this agenda and make it His? By asking the Holy Spirit to invade my heart in mind, to lead me down the path of understanding and to show me how to love as He loves. Being in the center of His agenda means this: Surrender yourself...allow Him to take over your unloving thoughts, feelings and actions so much so that they nearly disappear. So that when "the situation" arises, (and it will) that I need to run His ability to love and be kind, the ability is there. Not by my own power but by my allowing Him to invade my thoughts, my actions, my attitudes, my words...my life.
It's not my life. It never was...It's His.
There is so much work that can and should be done in God's agenda, I just do not have the eyes to see it. I do not have the ears to hear, or the heart to comprehend. But I want it. Oh how I want it. When I look around me, I want to see the jobs He would have me do rather than always thinking, "what can I do to make my day the best for me." It's what we all do, myself included, we awake and our first thought is on how to make "us" happy. That may be apart of God's agenda, to bring our little hearts joy in that day, but the means by which He does it is so different from our idea. So the next time you sit down to pray, (which can be right now) you can say this to the Lord..."Not my will, but yours.." and start by telling the Lord that you have the desire to have this life be about His agenda rather than yours. This will be life changing for you my friends, it is beginning to be for me, as I too am getting a grasp on what this COULD look like in a life that has been surrendered.
It may feel like a bigger bite that you are willing to chew, but trust me friends, the Lord of All will make this chewable for you, just ask Him. He longs to hear your voice calling to Him in total surrender and humility. It's music to His ears. This is only the beginning my friends. What a life this can be.

The Purpose of Man

So I recognize that it quite a title. :) However, it has been my line of thinking lately. Somehow, in between growing a child inside of me and raising a 2 and 3 year old, I'm finding myself lost in thoughts of purpose. :)

Why I do what I do, but really the purpose even behind the "why." God created all of us for unique purposes, and this of course you hear from childhood and believe because it's exciting to think that in life you have a "special mission" that no other person on earth does. But here has been my line of thinking...God must be the purpose behind all I think, say and do. And what motivates me to do all I do? To bring glory to God, not myself. (well, that is the distant hope)

But more often then not, I do find myself thinking and wishing for the praise of man as I do the "good" things I do. But if that's the case I really should not call what I am doing "good" nor should I put God's name on my deeds. He gives me an idea for kindness or goodness towards another, I act because of God's great prompting, and then somehow, I think I should get some glory? No. Far be it from me to do this thing, but I do.

The other angle of purpose is why we go through certain events or circumstances in life that seem so contrary to what we think should be...things like pain, job loss, sickness and even death of those we love. This line of thought came to me when my hairdresser and I were discussing the troubles I've been through lately and she said this to me, (and I'm not sure if she even knows her great wisdom) but that truly "All these things happen according to His perfect plans, and it all works out for our best because it was His plan." At first when she said that I thought..."How could laying on the floor for three months and throwing up all the time be God's perfect plan.." But of course when she said I nodded like any good little christian girl would and agreed completely...:) But when I got home I started to think..."Do I believe that, even in regards to my own trial and pain?" And here is what I've come up with: In all things painful that I have been through in my life, it has led me to the joyful life I live now, with my children, my husband the relationship I have with my heavenly Father. So, thus far, the pain I've been through has in fact led me to good things...and therefore, because of what this track record shows for me, I concur, He is faithful in all things. Even in sickness.

And then, what we do with our experiences, meaning, how we allow them to be used to encourage others also adds more purpose to that trial, and to our lives. So, the next time I run into a woman who has been laying on the floor in sickness for three months, I will know what she needs, and how to minister to her. More purpose has been added to my life, because the Lord must have seen that somewhere down the line, and woman in such circumstances was going to cross my path, and perhaps, He wants me there. (this is just my thought) But now, regardless, I'm available for that job in the spiritual realm. It's like our lives are a resume' and God is our boss, and each time we go through something painful or joyful in our lives, it's added to that resume' and I think the Lord enlists His workers according to their life experiences. The only difference, is instead of being paid in cash, we are paid in fulfillment of life, peace and joy of heart and and knowledge that we are being used by the One and Only, Most Holy, Most Sovereign God of All...that feels like a better deal than some money that fades in a moment.

So through all of this, I am feeling more and more purposeful...and perhaps my friends, you all are feeling this way too. All of this thinking began when the realization came to me that truly..."this life is not about me." And that is when the growth began. (and I have a very long way to go.)

But it's in this line of thinking that I have found great freedom from all the things that used to bog me down and weigh my heart with a thousand bricks, and freedom is priceless.

So I leave you with two questions... Are you Free? And Do you have purpose? If you can answer "yes" to those two questions than my friend, dance for joy. But if your answer is "no" then perhaps you should consider, (as I did not too long ago) "why" and "how can this be changed.." Then search the scriptures and find your answers. There is not another thing in life (on this side of heaven) that will bring you peace like being in the center of His will, and His purpose for you.

Answered Prayers

In my short lifetime I have prayed for and seen God's hand directly answer prayer in such a way that leaves me standing there, in fear and praise of the Lord. It's when circumstances can not explain why you are suddenly seeing answers to things only your heart whispered. That is the hand the Living God in your life and it's unlike anything else you will ever experience. I have had just such an experience, and it's been in the last two days that my sickness has diminished greatly, and I am i'm giving all the credit to the Lord.

I've poured over the Psalms as David layed his guts on the floor before the Lord, similiar to the way that I have in these past few months of sickness, and I have so indentified with this man's pain. Just knowing that another who loved the Lord went through great trials, (greater than mine) and still ended his prayers with "I will always praise the Lord.." It gave my faint heart hope.

The Lord gave me a Psalm this morning as I sat here pouring over the Word, praising His name and rejoicing in the fact that I feel as though "I can breath again."

I am going to write this Psalm out for you friends so you too can rejoice in the words of praise that give glory to the Lord. Praise His name with me today for the works of His hands and blessings.

Psalm 116

I love the Lord, for Heheard my voice;

He heard my cry for mercy.

Because He turned His ear to me, I will call

on Him as long as I live.

The cords of death entangled me,

the anguish of the grave came upone me;

I was overcome by trouble and sorrow.

Then I called on the name of the Lord:

"O Lord, save me!!"

The Lord is gracious and righteous;

our God is full of compassion.

The Lord protects the simpleheartedl

when I was in great need, He saved me.

Be at rest once more, O my soul,

For the Lord has been good to you.

For you, O Lord, have delivered my soul from death,

my eyes from tears,

my feet from stumbling,

that I may walk before the Lord

in the land of the living.

I believed, therefore I said,

"I am greatly afflicted."

How can I repay the Lord

for all His goodness to me?

I will fulfill my vows to the Lord

in the presence of all His people.

O Lord, truly I am your servent;

I am your servent, the son of your maidserverent;

you have freed me from my chains.

I will sacrafice a thank offering to you and call on the name of the Lord.

I will fulfill my vows to the Lord in the presence of all His people.

Praise the LORD!!!

Goodnight Prayer

Tonight, as I tucked my sweet little girl in bed I said my prayers over her as I do each night, then I asked her if she wanted to pray, much to my delight she usually says "yes". Tonight however she took her prayer a little more seriously and I wanted to share her sweet words with all of you. (she is two)

"Dear Jesus,

Thank you...day...

and Pappa...

and Mamma not sick...

hmmm....Grandpa...

hmmm...sing puppy...

thankyou...Sunny..

hmmm....Joshua...

sleep good...

AMEN!!!!"

Anyone else crying? Thank-you Jesus for these children...they make my life so full.

I know best?

There is something that has lingered in my thought for many days and I have finally figured out how to put it into words this morning. Most of our life's problems or bad decisions are a direct result of the fact that we think we know what's best for us, and sometimes, for others.
I consider most of the choices I make in my life, and have made in the past, are because I thought the choice I made would best suit me for that time. It's why you see one child take the bigger half of the cookie before the younger sibling has a chance to act. Or, why in divorce their is so much dispute over the "stuff." It's our sinful nature at it's best and I feel it has a lot of room for improvement in my own heart and life.
I hear it in my words as I say things in regards to what I do, vs. what others do, and hear it in my voice that I think I do things do better. Are we not all a little like this? Thinking that our way is best? It's what causes arguments in families, between spouses and siblings and most of all between our hearts and God's.
And I want to take notice that so I can begin to ask for the Holy Spirit's direction when these situations occur, so that God's wins, not the flesh. For I may feel like I am disputing with another person, but whom I'm really disputing with is God, and that is a sin.
I'm not trying to be overly hard on myself, because I know it's common among us with flesh to live out that flesh but I don't think it's OK to settle for that then. Just because I have a hard time being "nice to people" doesn't mean that I should always be rude because, "I can't help it!"
But you see it all the time where people (myself included) make excuses for ourselves and our negative behaviors because "it's who we are."
Well, I am here to tell you friends, even if "it's who you've been" all your life, it can change. God can change it. And He will when you begin to take notice, call your sin what it is and ask Him to help you change, and watch my friends as He takes something seemingly unchangeable and turns it inside out.
That's what God did for me in my past way of life, and I know He can do that with any little (or big) area that He lays on my heart to give up to Him.
We are in a constant place of being refined and I think He wants us here. (not that I know best though. :) )
So the next time you or I go to do the thing that we just can't help, let us consider, perhaps it can be helped..and you know the ultimate source of help.
"All man's ways seem right time him, but the Lord weighs the heart." Proverbs 21:2

Some of you may feel, "isn't it exhausting to always look at life and say what else needs to change?" And at first I think it does, but then I think we realize that we are at more peace with ourselves, God and others when the change takes place, we begin to welcome the change whenever God presents the idea to us. He does the real work.
SO do not shy away from something that needs changing or shaping, it's God's hand in your life, making you look more like you should, more like I should, like Him.
"He who pursues righteousness and love finds life, prosperity and honor." Prov. 21:21

For God, or For Man?

I have been having this thought lately about why we do kind things for others besides the fact that it's nice to minister to others with our kindness...

I find myself feeling a little sheepish because there have been so many times in my life where I have done great things in the eyes of man and thought to myself..."Wow, I'm pretty great!" Anyone else done that? OK, well even if I'm the only one, it's a good thing to ponder. :)

Apparently, in the time when Paul was speaking to the Corinthians people of those times were also getting confused by the powers of man vs. the powers of God. People were accomplishing "great tasks" in the eyes of man and...Paul says, "Some follow Paul, Some follow Apollos, and some follow God?" That is where these people were, their hearts were divided between men and God, thinking that men were as wise as God, putting all three on the same playing field.

Unfortunately, we all do this in our way even today.

"For no one can lay any foundation other than the one already laid. which is Jesus Christ. If any man builds on this foundation using gold, silver, costly stones, wood, hay or straw, his work will be shown for what it is, because the Day will bring it to light. It will be revealed with fire, and the fire will test the quality or each man's work. If what he build survives he will receive his reward. If it is burned up, he will suffer loss; he himself will be saved, but only as one escaping through the flames." 1 Cor 3: 11-14

What is Paul saying here? People were building a foundation with mans hands, mans ideas, man strength and in man's abilities. And he wanted them to know, this would never pass the flames of hell because only what God builds passes the Day. Wow. That's a little scary isn't it?

I've been there, thinking, building, conjuring up my own great plans, carrying them out in my own great strength only to find that they crumbled, they fall and I am left standing, alone, and with hands empty, and heart full of loss: ALL because I did things with my own wood, and nails.

But friends, this is not the end of the story!!! Christ's story never ends in sorrow unless we live unrepentant. When we pick up and take notice of our folly, ask for forgiveness and ask for eyes to see the future of what our next steps shall be in Christ, we have redemption in Christ. Beautiful forgiveness. Beautiful new life in Christ.

I think personally it's so easy to do things in our own power initially, we have a great idea, and really on the surface it sounds so good! Perhaps it's taking someones children for the day, all 13 of them! :) haha. But really, you are not to take try and minister in this way, because there might be better way God would have you serve this family. I know this is the story of my life, there is ALWAYS something that you can say "yes" too and there is always something kind that you could do. Noticing that is not a bad thing! It means you have a tender heart. However we need to run on the passion of Christ, not the passion of you.

"For the wisdom of the world is foolishness in God's sight." vs 19

Ouchie. What I think Is so great, and when I think that I am at my best, my best is still nothing in comparison to Christ. (when I do it on my own)

Christ desires to use us! He wants to use us and He loves to communicate with us how He can use us more, we need only to ask.

"Blessed is every one that feareth the Lord; that walketh in His ways. For thou shalt eat the labour of thine hands: happy thou shall be, and it shall be well with thee.." -Psalm 128:1-2

Blessed will you be when you walk in His direction, in His ways my friends...when you ask Him..."Lord, what should I do for these people? I want to help them, I want to minister here, but what do you want me to do?" And He may answer you that He wants you to help that family "over there" instead of the one you were originally thinking! After all, He sees what we cannot and He of course is wiser than I. I'm actually finding A LOT of comfort in that.

My greatest folly is that when I do "good" things, I get to feeling pretty great about myself...this is not the attitude Pauls tells me I am to have.

"So no more boasting about men!!!" vs 21

I want to be used and then give God the glory. Oh friends, I am yet a work in progress! I pray that God can grab my heart and make it look more like Him because this is the only place I know I will be truly OK. And truly joyful with myself. I pray this message challenges you and encourages you to give all the glory to God, and to do what He wants us to do, rather than what we think would be the best thing to do.

By serving God whole-heatedly, He teaches us how to serve others whole-heartedly and with the right motives. And the Lord loves a pure heart.

How do you smell?

When I am pregnant, anything with a fragrance that is too strong, makes me get sick, so I have been re-shaping my life into a fragrance free world! :) It's a little different to smell like nothing, and sometimes, even the "nothing" smells bad to me, but there isn't really much I can do about that! I was having this thought as I was laying in bed, feeling sick from the smell of my unscented hair and I took a deeper route with my thinking that my present situation at hand...

How do I smell to others? Not literally, because literally speaking I smell like nothing...but spiritually speaking. What kind of odor do I give off to others as I go about my daily business and life. Do they (those around me) stop and say, "Oh, I like the way her life smells of good things, and her attitude is pleasant to sniff.." or do they run the other way because of the stench?

I had a bit of stinky morning this morning. I took my children to the park, and I was utterly disgusted as a woman allowed her smelly nasty dog to lick and drink from the very same water fountain my children drink from whenever we go. The dogs tongue was all over the whole thing and I was thoroughly disgusted.

And of course, I let my disgust show. (unfortunately) I said rather loudly.."That is why you kids are never drinking from the park water fountains again!!!!" I said it to them, (my children) but I'm sure she and the dog heard me as well. Stinky. Stinky. Stinky.

If it were Jesus He most likely would have knelt down and told the dog to lick His face also...haha.

But in all honesty...that woman was most likely annoyed with me, and as I saw her walk back to MY neighborhood, I'm sure I'll run into her again, and hopefully next time, I can clean up the nasty smell that I left lingering in her nose, and create a smell that screams Christ to her.

These are our real life opportunities to be the pleasant aroma of Christ to others, and I for one need to start looking at my run-ins each day with strangers this way.

But thanks be to God, who in Christ always leads us in triumphal procession, and through us spreads the fragrance of the knowledge of him everywhere. 15 For we are the aroma of Christ to God among those who are being saved and among those who are perishing, 16 to one a fragrance from death to death, to the other a fragrance from life to life. Who is sufficient for these things? 17 For we are not, like so many, peddlers of God's word, but as men of sincerity, as commissioned by God, in the sight of God we speak in Christ. 2 Cor 2:14-17

I learned a bit of a lesson today, and it's interesting to me that this whole ordeal came to be even after I had my first initial thoughts on being the aroma of Christ, but obviously it did not sink in well enough with just the thought, and God gave me a real life example to help me remember.

(as if my own personal struggles with smell right now were not enough)

So let this be a concept that makes you stop and think about what you do as you go about your daily business. People are always watching you, especially if you have already professed Christ in your life, but even if they know nothing about your relationship with Jesus, they will if you show them He is there in your attitude, actions and of course, what type of smell you give off..

If you are finding yourself to be more stinky than pleasant smelling, ask the Lord to cleanse you and make your life smell of His lovely aroma so that you may draw others to Him simply by the way you go about your life each day. It is possible friends. But it takes the constant reliance on the only one who can truly give you all you need. May today be a very good smelling day for you!