Now What?!

New beginnings are fun aren't they? Any time something ends, it usually means there is room for something new. And when God calls you out of something, or lets you rest for a season, then usually He has plans for your very near future.
Sanctification is a process. I would much rather be fully sanctified all at once. But, I would be overwhelmed by the list of things I know He would have me change if I had to change all at once, so this is why The Lord only has us grow one area at a time. So this season I've just come out of, I like what He did with me. He took away some of  my selfishness and replaced in me a desire to do His will more than my own. Of course so much of my fleshly desires remain, but with patient, careful walking with the Shepherd I know He will tend to my little wayward sheep's heart and transform me into more of His likeness the longer I walk with Him and listen to His voice.
I'm the sort of person that if I think I have done something wrong, I want to confess everything, past present, and future. I'd rather just get everything out all at once, and perhaps even confess things I didn't need to confess. :) But I don't think this is His design for me in my walk. I do believe there are things He wants to refine in me, but He does them one at a time, and He does it gently. The enemy would like me to become overwhelmed, fearful and discouraged to the point of quitting. Not so with my Jesus. My Jesus wants to shape me, mold me and make me look more like Him, but He doesn't do it in a way that shames me, or makes me flounder. He does it perfectly.
And I am so very thankful that I serve a gentle Master. One who carefully examines my heart, and gently prods me to surrender certain things to Him, and once I give up what I once held so dear, He replaces it with such a better version then what I used to have.
Where I once went to bed each night afraid with fear and in-trepidation of what He might do to me to cause me to give up my idols, He now lays me down in sweet sleep and causes me to willingly give up the little things I was so afraid to give up. Like, my need for control. My need to be IN control. My need to control my children's every little breath, and my desire to control my life. Once I gave HIM the control, so much of my fear went out the window. What I clung to so desperately, enslaved me. Control, or lack there of lead me to fear. And so, I see the pattern of sanctification in my life, and that when I give up, or surrender things to Jesus because I now know what He has for me is better, my life has peace. My nights have peace. And fear is no longer something I battle with to extent that I once did. I trust Him. I trust His plan. I realize the bondage I was once enslaved to, and I realize that my giving up control and the "rights" to my life, and handing the drivers seat over to the one who really knows the way, is what is perfect and ultimately, better for me.
Why would I want to drive when I don't own a map, know the way, and frankly, am not that great of a driver to begin with. Now, I jump in the car, and although my hands may be on the steering wheel at times, He is the who is driving me along. His hands, on my hands. I like to picture myself sitting in His lap. You know  like how you used to when you were 5 and your far to short to reach the gas and break pedals in the car, and your daddy sets you on His lap, and asks, "want to drive?" Of course you do! So in the car you go, and onto His great big lap, and you rest your tiny little hands, so incapable still, yet, you feel like you can do just about anything while your sitting there in His lap with His hands resting on yours on the steering wheel. This my friends, is how I drive my life. He ultimately drives it, and I sit here....I turn where He guides, I steer which way He steers...I go where He wants me to go. And when I'm tired, He lets me rest in Him. He uses me...and I am thankful for that...He is in control, and I am in His lap.

Thankful for this word picture He gave me today, and I thought perhaps some of you reading might enjoy that image as well. Sit on your Fathers lap today. Rest yourself in His capable arms. Let Him drive. Yes, it's "your" life He is driving around, but who wants to drive when they don't know how. Lets face it, on our own, we can't even SEE the road, reach the pedals, much less put our seat belts on on our own. He is faithful. I love it how I can completely let HIM take over. So much peace to be found right there!

All That Glistens and Sparkles and fades

I have spent some time this past weekend thinking about the things that THIS world has to offer. Things that most people work their lives away to have. Things like, extra funds, excess cash, beautiful homes, perfect physical appearance, and everything our hearts desire....why do we do this?  Here are a few reasons I came up with:
We long to have time to relax, refresh, and just forget about the worries of life
We desire to escape
We want to be comfortable in life (not have discomfort in our life)
We want to be satisfied and think we will be by MORE.
We want to have all that we can have that this life has to offer.

Now let me preface this by saying, being wise with the money God has given you is NOT a bad thing..(putting your money into investments so it can grow..) but what I am saying is that when we try to find all our satisfaction in earthly things that do not last, we begin to have a problem.
Even the best of vacations, come to end. Even the loveliest girl, eventually ages and some of her youth will fade. Even the most gorgeous of homes become "old hat" after a while of living in them. And yes, all that this world has to offer to us as "good" will pass away, because friend, WE will pass away.
We will end. AND so this is why we try to live it up, live to the fullest, "You only have one life to live" type of mentality.
I for one know how this feels, and for me, my quest for earthly beauty, earthly satisfaction only led me to discontentedness. The more I had, the more I wanted. The more I studied the earthly fashions and that sparkled, the more I wanted, and the more I spent and the more discontent I grew. Oh what a vicious cycle! Someone will always be more beautiful than someone else, and some person will always have more than someone else...and most of us, are simply distraught by this fact and we strive all the more. But to no avail. It is a losing battle. So some give up, and some try harder till they die. I don't mean to sound depressing. I realize that this may, I would rather use the word, "sobering" because that is what this vicious cycle is. It is sobering. We want what we cannot have, and we live, strive and kill for what we cannot obtain, until the day the striving ceases, and the war ends. What is this day? This day could either be the day of your physical body, and you then perish. Or, it could the be the day of your introduction of the other way. The Way. The truth, and the Light.
You see for me, my striving ceased when I met Jesus. When I heard, read and understood as I was told that Jesus, made a way out for me to stop my striving. To stop the endless cycle of work that would eventually run me into the ground from my intense desire for perfection.
Perfection is not something that can be obtained, but I do have a way to be viewed as "spotless". Are you interested. Are you at least a little interested to hear about another way? Another option? A different path? As I mentioned my striving ceased on the day that I met Jesus, my Lord and Savior. My white Knight who rode in and saved the day. He said that I no long had to strive and toil in my own strength for an inheritance that would eventually and most assuredly pass away. Jesus said this, "Heaven and earth will pass away but my words will never pass away..." So what He is telling me, is true. And I wanted to know more about a life where He said, "My grace is sufficient for you.. " and I no longer have to do everything in my own strength. "I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength." So now, I'm thinking this, "For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, and plans to give you a hope and future." -Jeremiah 29:11
A hope and a future? A secure future... one that will not fade. One that will not lose it's sparkle. One that is ETERNAL.
"I want in" I said. And so, I began to explore this other option. The option that lay in the nail pierced hands of Jesus. The one who did indeed die so that this other way could be made available to anyone who calls on the name of the Lord Jesus Christ.
The man from the Bible, who came as a baby, and died on a cross, who's Father is God, and who left behind for me and you the Word of God/The Bible and the gift and the promise of the Holy Spirit to guide me, if only I say to Him, "I want you, I need you, I'm sick of striving on my own,,," I was so tired.. Tired of trying to do it. You know what I mean, I know you have felt this way too..: It's Monday, another week of 9-5... to what you hope will end in the making of enough funds to get you a little more of what you hope will make you feel happy...make you feel peaceful. Make you feel content, secure..worth something, make you feel as though your life has meaning and purpose.
Can you relate? Do you feel like your life has depth, purpose, meaning and point? If not, why?
Ask these questions. They are worth asking.
I asked them of myself and I realized I was so tired. Tired of striving, searching, seeking, sobbing and longing for something that I felt I had no more strength to do..in my own strength.
So this is what I said, "Jesus, God of the Bible, if you are the real deal, and what you say is true, then would you please help me, show me, speak to me and take me up out of the endless cycle of endless striving that I am in right now. Help. me. out."
And He did. Oh how He did. My white Knight, on a horse, rushed in and little by little as I read the Bible, studied His words, and began to obey it's teachings I felt peace like a river flood into my heart and life, and for a moment I stopped and thought and said, "I think this is working..." And so began my journey, and my work for a Kingdom where the glory does not fade, the riches of my inheritance will not spoil and for work that has purpose.
I follow the lead of the Father of the Bible, and I listen. Each day I open up and read and learn and listen and become more and more at peace, and more and more fulfilled.
What a journey.
I want what cannot fade. Do you feel the same? If so...pray as I did, and accept what only Jesus can offer. Grace. Freedom. Hope. Peace. CONTENTMENT. Another way. The only REAL fulfilling way. Call out to a God who hears. He will answer.

Who I Am...

IN CHRIST. WHO I am in Christ. Let me list off to you  my friends you who we are when we put off the old ways of thinking, the old self that we were born into. The person He died to set us free from. The sinful self. The flesh. The sinful, selfish, self-seeking, self-focused, self-ambition seeker, the one who thought of themselves before they thought of others and the one who was never satisfied. (you know what I mean)  That is the person who God set me free from (and you) IN CHRIST, by Christ, through Christ's death on the cross. From the moment we said the words.."Jesus I need you, set me free from who I am in my sinful flesh" and Thanked Him with our lives for His gift of new life, abundant life, life that only begins for real as we enter into eternity. The life that will not fade and glory that will not cease. That is what we have in Him. Here is the list of what I have in Him from the moment I heard His voice, predestined to respond to His call...I received this:
*Grace
*Freedom in Christ
*Strength that is not my own
*Eyes to see what I could not see on my own
*Ears to hear what I could not hear in my own hearing
*The gift of serving Him
*The gift of walking with Him
*The gift of having a friend with me at all times
*The gift of knowing I am NEVER forsaken
*The knowledge of what He did on the cross
*The blessing of experiencing the ABUNDANT life
*The gift of eternity to come
*His wisdom as I ask for it
*His hand in mine
*His word!!!!!!!!
*The love that He makes available to me so that I can give out of that to others
*New Mercies EVERY MORNING (forgiven past, present and future)

OK...so these are just a few..but this is just what I wanted to start with so that you my friend could have your eyes opened along side of mine to see all that we have in HIM.
There is one new thing that can be added to that list that I just figured out was actually a gift and not a curse, I really have learned this just in the past week. The gift of partnering with Him in His sufferings. I know it is not something we tend to think of as a gift but in the economy of God, the fact that are considered worthy of suffering for the one who died to make us whole, is amazing. Think about it this way. The way you love your significant other. Even the title, (that I never really use) Significant other, means that they are considerably more significant to you that perhaps even yourself. We get the opportunity to do something in way of self-sacrificing for them...or in some extreme cases, say someone "takes a hit " for someone they love. I would do that in an instant for my children! But in this world were Jesus's name is not a name commonly said with much love, if we profess the name of Jesus and stand up for the name of Jesus and then we take a hit for the name of Jesus? This is a blessing. We are suffering for the name by which we are saved. suffering comes in all shapes and sizes, and it does not always equal catastrophic pain, it may entail just being left out of a group of friends, or being slandered by another, Paul in the Bible tells us to "count it all joy.." and other other echo his words as we take hits for Jesus in the Christian faith. We are to count our sufferings all joy. So, added to my list of gifts, I also add..."being given the gift of being considered worthy of taking hits for Jesus." The one who died to set me free is worthy of my devotion. And this life is but a wisp. A vapor, and then, the life we have with Him in eternity, where every tear is wiped away, and every sorrow gone, that is where we can say, "Now I rest in eternity of peace with the one I love.(Jesus)."
And if my friend, this idea of eternity seems "to good to be true.." Consider this: The void you feel in the pit of your soul when the party ends, and the crowd leaves, the late' has been drank all gone, and the good times are just not rolling anymore...what then? Do you feel vacant in any way? Do any of the gifts I  mentioned above seem like something that you possess in your being? If not...then why? Ask yourself these questions! They are questions worth asking! People will go to great lengths to find happiness but the one thing they fail to consider is that in this life of pain, that perhaps they are missing out on the one true source of joy that will not fade or vanish. Do you know that you can have joy even in suffering? Even in pain? HOW IS THE SO you may ask? Because you have the giver of joy who lives inside of you if you are a believer in the Lord Jesus Christ. Who I am in Christ will not fade. And on the day of His return, (which I can almost taste!) All the pain of today will be washed away. It is to good to be true, but the catch is, is that it's TRUE! The Gospel is True!!!! The gospel of faith, through grace, by no works of our own, but by the gift of the death of the Lord Jesus Christ on the cross of salvation is true. Man screwed up in the garden. God made  a way out for us, and His name is Jesus. Do you know Him? If you don't, find a Bible, open it up and start getting to know Him. You can buy a Bible at the store for less that 5 bucks these days. Get one, open it up and get to know the giver of all the gifts I just listed. Trust me, it will change your life for now, and for eternity.

Head On

Proverbs 17:14 says something to the affect of this: Drop the matter before the fight breaks out. Anyone of you ever had a situation where you thought "this" and your opposer thought "that" and one of you had to give in, but neither was willing? That is exactly what this verse is talking about. Drop it. That is the underlying message here. Just drop it. This post does not have to be long, because the message is clear. We are not to quarrel with one another, as the people of God, we can recognize that He has one plan for us, and this for us to lay down our lives for the good of the other. TO lay aside our selfish ambitions no matter how RIGHT we think we are..no matter how clear it is that other viewer is WRONG, it is essential that we lay down our pride and let Christ be our advocate. We all have had these moments, and Christ says, (Psalm 18:47) that HE is the one who avenges me. Not me. Not my own good sounding arguments. Let the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart be pleasing to you O God my savior (Psalm 19:14) Keep me from WILLFUL sins. (vs 13) and Psalm 31:1? HE is my refuge. SO, what do we know? Christ is the one who avenges us. We do not need to think for a moment that our words will either defend us better than His shield can defend us, nor should we think that our anger will bring about the righteousness that God desires. Not one angry word we say edifies the listener. SO why oh why is so very difficult for us to just simply hold our tongues and say, "He will defend me?" Why is it? because Friends, we still want to be right. Let us lay down our pride, *for this is what we are really battling up against, it may feel like it's the person whom you are quarrelling with, but really it's our own selfish desire to be right, (even if we are right) and it is that desire that we need to lay down, for if we are right, Christ will avenge us. If we are wrong, He will convict us...but wouldn't it be better to just walk away and let the matter rest until we see what Christ says to us about it? I do. HE will convict, and He will supply us with the wisdom we need. He does so every time, we just need to back down, shut out mouths, get alone with Jesus and meditate on what it is HE wants us to. Easier said than done, but this will be my plan of attack the next time I face a situation where my pride tells me "FIGHT HARD, YOUR RIGHT" AND I will tell my pride to back down in Jesus name. Amen. It's like two cars playing chicken, head on, they bash into eachother over and over again, eventually pieces of the headlights start flying, and their grills get bent in, and the hoods break off and the windows fall in, what is left after a head on argument with someone is usually a similar result. NOT GOOD for either party. People's feelings get hurt, their loose words that cannot be retrieved are out their and not easily forgotten, our hearts are damaged and wounds quite deep and then we have a whole lot of repairs to do before we are back in full, good, working condition. SO let us think before we enter into the next "HEAD ON" with another person. It is better to drive to the side of the road and let our opposing driver pass on by and not crash into them over and over again...because they are not in agreement with our direction. God will be our advocate. If we are right, He will do His work. We can trust Him. He made us. He knows us and anything we need, we will have from Him as we need it.. (patience, strength, perseverance and peace.)

I DO believe

How much time have I wasted? But regardless, His grace is sufficient. "I'm sorry" I've said it a hundred times to the Lord in the past few days, I keep saying sorry about the same thing and He just keeps telling me, "I already forgave you." His grace is sufficient. "I'm a slow learner." I say to My Lord. He responds.."So were my other disciples...and yet, they too did great things for my name and Kingdom." His grace IS sufficient. I'M DONE trying to do this life and all it's doings, in my own strength. It's like trudging uphill through pea soup when you try to do things in your own ability. And why do it your own strength when truly, His resources are unlimited. Oh yes. I need that reminder constantly. Striving has ceased. SO what now Lord? I ask? Where do I go from here? "Believe me..." He says. "Believe that what I say is true, what I have planned for you is best, and that you are a child of mine who delights me..and never forget, My Father sees you as blameless in His sight when you accept my grace." You guessed it, because...His grace is ALL sufficient. Do I really get what this means for me? I'm starting to get a better handle on it because I see that all my works for Him are as filthy rags, and if I simply GIVE UP THE FIGHT and take Him up on His gift of grace, then I can be free in ways I never even thought possible. SO what motivates a believer who is THIS free? LOVE. That's it friends. Love. Love for her Savior. Because who wouldn't want to do all she can in His strength to say thank you to the beautiful Savior who gave it all for me? I do. And I want to do it for the right reasons, maybe for the first time ever. ALL I do, is because of what HE did for me. All I can do is love Him with how I live, interact with others and live out my faith, because friends, He first love you...and me...and everyone else..(even the person who bugs you and you'd like to say mean things about it.) Love does not delight in evil. LOVE keeps to records of wrongs. Love is not easily angered. Love is patient. Love is KIND. Love is peace-loving. Love is all that God demonstrated for US on the cross where HE died for all our sins. Love is self-sacrificing. Love is HUMBLE. LOVE IS NOT JUDGMENTAL...and the depths of THIS very kind of love is so very much available to all of us by His all sufficient grace that He made available to us through the death of Christ Jesus my Lord on the cross. He died...so I can live. Truly live. My striving in self has ceased friends. What a relief that HIS grace is sufficient. You want a picture of sufficient? Let me give you one that you commit to memory. MORE THAN ENOUGH. Left overs for ETERNITY. A meal big enough for all the hunger in all the world. Enough seats for every person who ever wished to sit. The jar of His grace will never ever empty. The other reason this is so beautiful is because of His extravagant gift of love that says, "I love you because I love you because I love you. AND I chose you because I wanted to, not because of ANYTHING you did, or anything I FORESAW that you would ever do. I wanted you, and so I loved you, and I died for you." WOW huh? Nothing else speaks more love to me that someone saying I wanted you not because of anything you did to make yourself desirable, but simply because I delighted in you and wanted you. Anyone else standing breathless? Jesus...you make me breathless. I told my sister today that I feel like I have one foot out the door...I want to be with HIM more than I want to be here on earth most days, and in my human weakness I often think wouldn't the beauty of being in His presence be SO much better BY FAR than being here in this imperfect world? My WISE and beautiful sister reminded me that He will take me home, but that He has me here because He has a purpose for me. Thanks for that reminder. I needed it. Because part of His choosing me was that at the same time He chose to love me, He also prepared for me GOOD WORKS to do out of my deep love for Him, out of my gratitude for His love, I now have things to do for His Kingdom. SO lets get this straight, First He chose me to love me because He simply sought me, and then, He gave me a reason to be here? WOW. If I sound like a crazy person to you, then that's OK, but I know then I am out of my mind because of His love for me. But I would argue friends that I have never been more sane. He is my best thought every day, and I am ready for Him to take me home, but until He does, I will be here. I will do what He asks, not because I am a slave by force, but because of in response to His deep deep love for me that He displayed to me on the cross...I out of a choice to submit to my loving, merciful, humble and loving Savior. I do all I do, because I love Him. He even gives me the love to love Him with. Nothing of what I have, give our receive is out of any doing of my own. I am here, solely because of Him. I mean that in the deepest sense. Not just surface. I exist, because He does. I move, because He moves me. There is NO boast in that...it's out of ground level, grovel in the dirt becuase of what He did for me that I speak. The only reason I stand and lift my face heavenward is because He tells me to. Jesus, your it for me. Amen.

YOUR not the problem. I am.

I have been full of "Lord sanctify me" type prayers lately. That usually end up leaving me feeling pretty good about myself, and then of course that makes me feel like perhaps I'm a little more "arrived" than my neighbor. So this morning as I was sitting in church and with a heart longing to give my Jesus praise from a  pure heart, I felt weakened by His presence. I stood there with hands raised because I knew my own wretchedness is what held Him on the cross. I wasn't thinking about the sin of my neighbor. I was thinking about MY sin. I've heard it said before that God uses difficult people in our lives to sanctify us...but I would take a step further than once you realize that you also realize that YOU are the difficult person. I've learning that lesson.
I've spent many days feeling like I was a pretty good "christian."
Turns out my righteous deeds are just "filthy rags" If I am taking stock in my own righteousness saving me, or making me better than another. "We are all the same at the foot of the cross." I've heard it said, and it's true my friends. Whatever I thought I could do make myself more acceptable to Him by my righteous deeds was not only "Pharisee" but also a complete and utter waste of human righteous effort. I've gotten to this place where I am today, not a place of "beating myself up" but rather, accepting the fact that I truly, utterly, add NOTHING to my salvation, or to the way HE loves me. I cannot EARN His love, and I am most certainly not any better because I ACT more righteous than any other person. You and I, are on the same platform in His eyes. Both myself and my neighbor are loved the same by Him. It's not like I ever would have looked at you said, "I'm better.."  but my hearts attitude might have crossed that path from time to time. I never would have said it like that before today though. I think it is good to be honest before God and man whenever He lays upon our hearts something that has been hiding in the dark places. There is no judgments that will triumph over mercy. And who I am before Jesus, is beautiful, just because He said so. Not because I did anything to make myself that way. I always am praying, "Jesus I want to be empty before you, I want to be your vessel. Scrape me clean so I can be fully used by you.." But many days, I prayed that almost in a self righteous way also. Who I am before the cross...is this: Loved because I'm loved. Without Him, I'm the same as any other: Naked..shamed...sinful. With Him, I'm the same as well: Loved, redeemed, washed clean by His blood...forgiven and set free by HIM alone. There is no room for self-righteousness in that combination. See what am I getting at?
I need to take my pointing finger and turn it around on myself. So the next time I start to feel my hearts finger point at someone, I'm going to turn it around and point it at myself. And then pray for forgiveness, be washed clean and start over again. Serving Him because I can. Loving Him, because He first loved me, and loving others because it His command, and I do it of my love for Him. And I am called to love others, not in a "I'm gonna grit my teeth and love you, " type of way, but because by His Holy Spirit's power, I CAN love, I GET to love, and I WILL love because it's my joy, and gift to do this for my King. He's the reason we do anything. HE is the reason. Period. And I am committed to do this, In HIS strength, for HIS glory, and because it's my joy. Happy Easter Friends. Live in His freedom today because it's a gift...not because we have to...but because we get too...by His grace.

The Kind of Faith That Sets You FREE

That's it. Try a little harder. Push. Strive. Dig! Seek a little more. DO things a little bit better. You ALMOST got it right. Harder! Faster! WORK MORE! Your a fry short of a happy meal. How much farther? Just a little bit...
wow. anyone else tired? Hows that for a beginning. Well...if you are beginning a day without Jesus, that is how it really feels. How much will be enough? just a little bit more.
Oh my dear friends...we were saved by GRACE! grace. That's it. That's what is enough. That is what saves us fully. FULLY.
I am being a little redundant on purpose. You see, I have known the message and TRUTH of "saved by grace alone" for a while now. But it has just sunk in for me in a whole new way. Today.
I was reading in the word and it says in James 2:10 that, "For whoever keeps the whole law and yet stumbles at just one point is guilty of breaking all of it."
That does not leave much room for failure does it? Which is of course why we cannot depend upon the laws to save us for eternity. It's not like I thought my good works (that are really just filthy rags if done in self-righteousness) would save me, that wasn't it. I knew I needed Jesus to save me, but I thought that some how if I honored the Sabbath religiously, never touched  a drop of alcohol or never said anything impure, then I would be more holy. No friends. I could not have been more wrong. This grace is not a license to sin, but it is a license to quit my striving in my own strength. God knows my heart. HE even knows the motives of my heart and He died to set me free from my striving. My longing to perfect in my own strength and abilities. He saved me with grace. PERIOD. The story on what "I do" essentially ends there. Now, from here on out, from this point after life by grace, this is where I begin to do all I do for the glory of the Father, for the pure desire to serve Him and bring The Father joy. To please Him, not that He isn't already pleased with me, but OFFER HIM SACRIFICES from a pure heart. This is the kind of worship that the Father desires. A broken and contrite heart. A humble person, a person who knows her position in Jesus as saved by grace, and lives like that. No more striving. STRIVING CEASED. For good. All I do now, Is live my life to be holy and blameless in such a free way to pay tribute to the one who died to set me free. My good and kind acts are done as a love song to my Savior. This morning I asked the Lord, "What kind of worship pleases the Father?" It was like I was saying, "Father, give me the equation and I'll do it because I want to please you!" But He says, "Daughter, striving has ceased, you please me already." Now go, and sin no more because you love me. *tears*
Did your heart jump to your throat when He said that? There I was, face down in the dirt, covered in my wretchedness, and He just said.."I love you the way you are, take my grace, go and sin no more."
To think, I thought I could add something to the cross.
He died for my sins. HE put my sins around His neck and He took them to hell with Him when He died for me and stayed in hell for me for three days, until He rose again. And when He rose, He left my sins in the depths, and buried them for all time. My past, present and future sins. And He said, "Now go, take my grace, and live you life for me. Worship me with your life."
Now, doesn't this make you feel more at peace? Like, "Oh, I can breath again?" STRIVING HAS CEASED! There is nothing you can do to make Him love you more, or less. He loves you just as you are, now leave your life of sin and serve Him only. Stop looking for ways to make yourself more acceptable. He has already accepted you. He already sees you as whole, that is what Jesus death was all about. Let go friend! let go...
Any good you and I do on earth from this point on, is done in worship for the Father. It's like with your life and deeds, you say, "This is the worship song I sing to you..."
Funny how when you take the pressure off, it makes you want to more of it! No one wants to do something because they must, but when they do it because they CAN, the motivation goes up, the motive itself changes. And isn't that what it's all about? The motives of our hearts? God wants us to worship Him with a sincere heart, full of love because we want to honor Him with what is on the inside, not the outside alone.
The outside is done mostly for man if were honest with ourselves, but what man does not see, the inside, that is the place we give God pleasure. You can worship God with your pure thoughts. You can worship God with your honesty. You can worship God with your true, real honest absence of lust. (idols, sex, more of what you want)
You can worship God without saying a thing. This is what I've learned. I feel so free. I feel so thankful that He took the time to teach me this. And it could not be at a more appropriate time. Truly. On the weekend that we are about to celebrate His rising from the dead, death and the grave, He brought me into a deeper understanding of what this death of grace brought to me.
His death, is my freedom. And there is nothing I can do to add to it.

"From here on out Jesus, I worship you with all I've got, not because I must, but because I long to honor you. Honor you Jesus for who you are, and what you did for me while I was YET in my sin. What can I say Jesus but Thank you. And I will pray for the strength to say thank you to you with my whole life, for the rest of my life. Amen."