Tuesday, December 22, 2009

To my Son Joshua...


Joshua, today you are 3. I can hardly believe it. I get a tingle in my throat just thinking about all that we went through until the day you came into the world.
It was the middle of winter, cold, and snowy. I was SO ready to meet you.
I did not sleep a wink the night before we went in. All I could do is think over and over, "I'm finally going to meet this child."
It's such a mystery to me, the gift of life. How God decides to form each child as He does, so beautifully to represent His great talents.
I did not know how many things I would learn through having YOU dear boy in my life.
Not everything was great, I spent many nights (more than i slept) rocking you, trying to soothe your colic. I don't even want to go beyond that though in description because YOU my dear son have brought unimaginable joy into my life and heart.
In my "baby Journal" that I was much more diligent with the first time around..:) talks about the first time i heard your heart beat, and i recorded that my thoughts were this.."I cried, because i knew you were for real!"
And about the first time i felt you move, " It was the most amazing thing because I knew I had life INSIDE of me."
here is a little snippet from a letter i wrote to him two weeks after his birth..
" I have known you for a little over two weeks but I am SO in love with you my sweet baby boy. My every thought is of how to protect you and how to make this life better for you. You are such a joy to me. I love looking into your big blue eyes and watching your face move into those sweet little expressions. I promise to always talk to you about Jesus...Jesus loves you more than I ever could! I'll keep you in my heart forever..You child, are the best thing that has ever happened to me!"

Now, I couldn't help but think as I re-read those words of my own tender, early motherhood dreams that this is how My Heavenly Father looks on me as well..
To protect us, That we are His joy, He loves looking into our eyes and He promises to Love us because we are the best thing that has ever happened to Him.

May the treasures of my heart, be yours as well..especially as we come upon the birthday of Lord's, remembering how He too came into the world as a tiny child, who kept his loving mother up. :)
But that the mystery of life is His creation and that we can experience the Love of the Father any time we desire...because He longs to gaze into our sweet blue, brown or anything in-between eyes.
As much love as I have in my heart for you sweet Joshua baby, So does He, for you my son, and all His other son's and daughters. Happy Birthday My Sweet Boy. You Mommy loves you more than you will ever know.

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