It appears I may have gotten a few things wrong in my ideas concerning God. And it's been that way for most of my life, thinking that He was a little too big to reach and little removed to really understand Him. Now, I know that no person besides the Holy Spirit and Jesus, can truly understand God, but I am getting to know His person better and I'm humbled, standing in awe, and sad on all of my false ideology of Him over the course of my life. Let me share with you a few things that I've been learning. First all, He gave me this amazing tool, and it's called the Bible. Before you scan away from this entry because "you know all about the Bible..." think again...that is what I did all my life and Friends, I've missed a whole lot. God gave us His son. I'll say it again in case you missed it, (much as I did) the first time. God gave us His son. His son, lived in a world full of sin, and brought together in oneness and group of men who would claim His name, and His Fathers name to share with world God's love and glory after He left. But in order to really know about Him after He left, we need to know what He said, and that is the Bible. That is the gift we have today, the tool that helps us do battle, and keep our boats afloat as we are tossed to and fro in the waves of life. It's the waves of life that usually cause people the most doubt about God, and they (myself included) turn their faces towards heaven and say, "God, if you really love me, why are you sending me this wave?" And this my friends, is the place that I have say for years and years and day upon day, asking, shaking in fear, trembling and sad.
I want you all to understand something about my life, I know that pain is not easy, and I know that to smile in the face of pain seems a little idiotic. But in that idea, I'm missing the point. God is trying to refine the ones He loves. So when I ask Him, "God, why are sending me this wave?" What I'm really asking is "God, how can you say you love me when I'm hurting so much and you know about it?" And friends, I learned something today about this, and how fitting to learn this just before Easter...listen here...
God sent His only son, to die for us so that we could have life. Do you hear the magnitude of God's love for us in this statement? I finally do. I have a son. And I love him with every ounce of my being, and I cannot fathom the idea of allowing my little boy die for the sins of a shameful generation and then, after my son has died, having these people he died for, look up to me and say, "Do you love me?"
I've learned many things about God. He is the vine. He is the Gardner. He is the giver of life. He is the Good Shepherd. He is the Father. He is the protector and the Healer. He is the Potter. And, He is Holy. Holy...Holy...Holy...Lord God Almighty.
Before you start think that I am sounding generic let me let you in on the root of these feelings I'm experiencing.. all my life I pray this way..
"Dear God, thanks for this day, can I please have this..."
He created me to be like Him, to want Him, to chase after Him, to long for Him, to please Him, to be obedient to Him, to love Him, and most of all, I feel, in my life, with my life, bring Him glory.
He created me to be like Him, to want Him, to chase after Him, to long for Him, to please Him, to be obedient to Him, to love Him, and most of all, I feel, in my life, with my life, bring Him glory.
Am I bringing Him glory with my life? Am I bringing Him glory with how I am handling my rocking boat and high waves? Am I running to scripture to know Him better and using His words to fight the battles of this life? Am I allowing Him to sanctify me, and make me more like Him? Am I striving to be Holy because He is Holy, because it ultimately shows others around me that this God I serve is amazing?
Maybe I'm beginning to. But beginning to is the key word here. Up until now, it's been a slow climb and a mostly easy path. Easy because I was not doing the hard work the Lord wanted me to do to get to know Him better and be His disciple. And friends, this is only scratching the surface of all of who He is. He can be much much more the more we allow Him to sanctify us, the more we will grow. And by allow I mean, be obedient and learn through the trials rather than asking Him if He really does actually love us.
So, having said all that...don't beat yourself up if you have not been obedient to God in the past, do as I am and ask for forgiveness and pledge your obedience to His Holy name, pay Him honor, reverence His power, and bring glory to His name by what you do from here on out..
He does call us to be Holy for His name and it's our heart of obedience that allows His work to be all that it can be. We can learn the top skin layer, or we could dive down to the bone and get the real deal. I've been diving in little by little, but my pain has stunted my growth, and before the pain was there, my avoidance of pain stunted it. So now, in the pain, I'm opening the word, holding up my sword of truth, I'm better equipped to fight the evil one, and I can see the glory of God through the waves, knowing my absolute and total reliance is on His sustaining me, and His making me what I ought to be to bring His name the greatest, highest, glory.
Learn from my mistakes, don't be fearful of the waves, open your Bible, Know GOD! And suddenly, I know you friend, will find yourself able to say, "It is well with my soul." To God be Glory.
So, so, so TRUE Amber! Even after being raised in a Christian school, attending a Christian college, earning a Bible degree, and ALL the teaching I have done, there is still so much more to learn about God and this sanctification process that we are all in. So much of this week's BSF lecture really hit home for me. Praise God that He continues to teach us despite our lack of understanding and our great unfaithfulness!
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