Where Is Your Heart

As I find myself in more peaceful waters with my heart these days, I find myself relaxing, and almost kicking back spiritually. Not becoming complacent, but enjoying the fact that I'm not hanging on for dear life. And, now, I almost, miss the hanging on for dear life. Why? Because as I clung with my fingernails to the rock of His foundation, I was rescued moment by moment by the Father. I was needing Him, and He came through. Now that I'm "laying beside quiet streams" I'm experiencing God in a different way. It's more in a quiet voice of peace that I call out to Him. Thanking Him. Praising Him. And knowing that it only because of Him and all His power that I am laying here beside this stream today. Praise His name!

But there is a sense of sadness that the intensity in which I clung to His every word is not there in the same way...and I, in a weird way grew comfortable with my relationship with Him being that way...

Now, I'm finding my footing in a different way.. to seek Him desperately even when my heart feels less desperate. I like not feeling desperate, and I also miss feeling desperate.

He walked me through some very dark places of my person and He showed me many ways that need to change. So, He began His construction job on my heart and at times, it was painful. I shed many tears in bitterness, and fear. But that was not His intention, He did not want me to be bitter, He wanted me to repent. As I realized that truth the progress began to take flight, daily as I repented of all He brought before me, I felt my insides being reshaped into a more "Jesus" organized way, rather then they way I put my insides away.

Where I had a big box of fear placed on a high shelf, He took it down and put a box of "peace" in it's place. Where I had "anger" He replaced it with "trust." Where I had resentment, He replace it with "understanding." And where I had a box of "judgment towards others..." He replaced it with a big box of "look at the camel in your own eye.."

That last one was the toughest for me to have changed..it of course was the last to go. A person over their life forms opinions about what they think about others, based off of what they think about themselves. Because lets face it..we like ourselves better than we like other people. Yuck! I hate that I can even say that about myself...but I can. And I'm growing in that area, knowing the sin that lies in that statement. Yuck yuck yuck. So, He started the real dirty work and house cleaning there. And here I thought He was "almost done!" ha!

At one point I made a statement that sounded a little bit like this, "I don't have to worry about that "thing". That "thing" is not an issue for me. Others may struggle with that "thing" but I do not. In fact, it frustrates me when people struggle with that "thing!"

OH! OH! OH! Friends! If you ever hear yourself think or say something similar to what I said that grave day, (and on many other occasions) RUN the other way. Clap your hand over your mouth to keep yourself from doing as I did. Shut off your thoughts and be on your guard to those types of thought and statements..because my friend, when you make a claim like that, your enemy, has now found His foothold, and you had better be certain, the Lord of all does not appreciate those types of attitudes either. But thankfully, God accepts repentance when it done in brokenness, and friends, this year, I have never been more broken. I not only realized my state of sin, I began to struggle with that "thing." Shame on me. But great is our God, because He did not stay mad at me, and I would have at me. He took me from my desolate place, and put me in a place of need for the Savior and then, He came in, in all His glory and taught my broken heart how to be well, He taught my raging spirit how to be still, and He taught my judgemental heart how to judge no more. No more will I make those statements of "i do not struggle with this." He has made me sensitive even to struggles I may not have, but know that it's only by the grace of God that I do not have them right now. I may deal with something much worse later down the road. But friends, one big thing that I have come to know. God is BIG. God is bigger than all else that comes into our lives, so if He allowed something to sift into your life, as He lets it through only by His filter of love, and it seems to big to bare...Know this! He is bigger. And He only allows in what He allows in. You are held tightly in His hands of protection if you have committed your heart fully to Him. If you are His, He will only allow in what He allows in. Am I making myself clear? He allows certain things in our lives because He knows what is going to make us the best that we can be, and also, what will place on the path of righteousness, and in the end, make us Holy to bring more glory to His Holiest of all names.

"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! in His great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the Resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade. Kept in heaven for you, who through faith are in shielded by God's power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time. in that you greatly rejoice! Though now, for a little while you had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith of greater worth that gold, which perishes even through refined by fire-may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed." 1 Peter 1:3-7

By no means am I claiming to be fully refined. Far be it from me to have such pride in my heart, and I pray for protection for attitudes that can creep in that look like that. I am such a sinner and this is what keeps me close to Him. Where ever He wants me friends, that is where I want to be because I have seen His hand work in ways that no other hand could. He reached in brought things that were so very dead back to life and now they are not only alive again, they look more like Him. And I could ask for nothing more.

So I write this today friends, to encourage you to stay close to Him. He is the only one who will sustain you. And when time are good and the sun is shining so bright in your life and if you are laying beside quiet waters as I am, don't forget the fire of refinement that brought you to where you are. Rejoice in the times of peace, so that when the trials come again, we can trust Him more quickly then before because we know His track record is perfect. He never fails.

Don't loose your grip on His purposes for your life, when we wander, when we make statements in pride about where are as if we are the ones who got ourselves there, we set ourselves up for attacks from the evil one, (which produces trials) and for a need to be changed by the Father.

The changing is good change though, and we are never going to be perfect to the point that He does not look at us and know things that should be changed...it's all in our attitudes of heart. And the only to keep an attitude of righteousness, is to be completely, and fully His.

Are you fully His today? It's a moment by moment dependence, and sometimes, I'm there, and sometimes I'm trusting in myself again. But I'm convinced of this, trusting in Him is perfect, trusting in myself, always results in falling. And I don't know about you but I'm really sick of falling down, my legs are so bruised I look a little bit beat up, but all i can offer to you as an explanation is that I spent some time trusting myself.

As always, I beg of you, learn from my mistakes. When we trust God, He always leads us to a place of peace. May you all find that today...