This is not a blog about self-improvement, although I am all about making the most of what we have..that is a good thing, however what I am contemplating here is this:
"For you tested us God, and refined us as silver.." Psalm 66:10
I once looked at that verse and thought.."what a power hungry, greedy God." Yes. I actually thought that. And of course I have repented, but the idea that I am His project is amazing to me. What used to infuriate me, now makes me tremble in adoration. This is His purpose for me: to be more and more like Him...and naturally, I need some refining. :)
As I've been reading in my Bible study what the Lord did with each of His disciples from day one, till the day He ascended, this is exactly what He did with each and every one of them.
You had a man named Peter..who had no faith at all, and in the end, died for the Lord. (crucified upside down because he did not feel worthy to die as his Lord did.) Now that is faith my friends.
You have a woman who was possessed my 7 demons, Mary Magdalene, and she received new life (literally) from the Lord as He freed her from that stronghold, and she was one of the first few He appeared to after He rose from the grave.
And then there's Thomas. A man who doubted even when their was eyewitness accounts of Jesus rising...until this, He saw the Lord and he exclaimed: "My Lord and my God!" Claiming his true faith right then and there.
So my friends, of course I had to ponder this thought, what is He doing with me? And (how can I through this sooner..) :) haha.
No, in all reality...I am thankful for the knowledge that He is not going to leave me the way I am today. I can be so ugly, and I look no further than yesterday to realize I am in need of improvement, and hopefully, today He begins that work and helps me clean up yesterdays messes, because there are many of them.
What Christ does with a human heart and life, is unlike what any other self help type person might be able to give you. There are lots of healthy ways to clean up our outward lives, but it truly is what is on the inside that matters..and my own life is a true testimony of this.
I may have looked nice on the outside, sounded okay for the most part, but when my life got tense, and my situation uncomfortable, what was really inside, came out. And friends, it wasn't pretty. Anger. Greed. Discontentedness, Malice, Disrespect to God and others..Selfishness.
I cry as I write that list, not because I'm living in the past, for I know friends by the grace of God that I have been set free, however, if renaming those past sins, helps to encourage others to grow in Him, then I shall list them all day long.
Its the remembrance of where I've been that helps me to praise Him all the more for where I am going, and hopefully to be some day.
I never want to stop growing. I never want to stand still. And this is why I never quit digging into the word. Into His life, into his thoughts, attitudes, and attributes that I pray someday I may posses more of...
He is my idol. He is my celebrity that I strive to look like. Most days. Of course, I have still have much refinement left and the moment I think, "I'm done.." then this is where the real work should begin. For we are never done, but we are constantly being more and more transformed into the image of Christ, and why? Why you ask? So we can do His good work.
He makes us into the best versions of ourselves...because number one: God does not mistakes, and He made you. Number 2: God like what He made, we just are a little rough around the edges. Now doesn't that make a girl (or guy) feel better? He likes you as you! He wants to use you, because of who HE made you to be. I like that. So, even in all my imperfections, all my weirdness and all my quirky idea's, He still wants me. And He wants you too. This Father, who formed you in your mothers womb, made you just as you are, and it is beautiful. Now, allow Him to make you more beautiful...more use full...full of His purposes rather than your purposes. So, you ask...How can we do this? Ask. Seek. Knock. and be willing. Be a willing participant. There may be pain as we drag our feet, but as I have personally realized..when my heart was screaming in pain, I grew. OH!!! I grew!!! And so can you..
"Search my heart and know me God for I am fearfully and wonderfully made..."
May He do this for you, starting today...
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