The Motives of the Heart

This is a concept that has always convicted me more than any written rule, any word or any law. This thought that it's not so much what I do, but why I do what I do, not because I have to, but because I want to...and the inside of this, that no-one sees your real feelings but you.
Let me unpack this for you. I have had this concept pounded into my heart and mind in the past couple of weeks, which usually means God is telling me something. haha. And I need to pick up, pay attention, listen and respond, and by respond, I mean change.
My attitudes of heart have been a little stinky lately..(some of you know why..:) but sickness is not a "get out of a bad-attitude-free-card." No. All the more opportunity to let God work in me because of my down and out state.
And all these thoughts are because of this one little verse. (that is really not little at all)
"Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love (1 John 4:8)."

A big way we love God, and show God that we love Him is by our love for others and by our obedience in loving who He calls us to love, everyone.
I'm great at loving those that love me, my family, my sisters, my parents, my friends, and pleasant acquaintances...however, I am not very good and loving those who are rude to me in the grocery store, or people who zip in front of me in the check out at the store. No, those people make me mad, and even if I don't physically or audibly let them know that, my heart burns within me, and I'm mad. Only I and God know I am mad, but I mad. And the Lord tells me that.."Anyone who hates who hates his brother will be subject to judgment." Matt 5:21
And God in the verse before that one compares this hatred to murder. Murder.
That is pretty extreme...and that is my heart....sadly.
So what do I do about this, well, first I admit that I do this, and then I ask the Lord to help me change. But, here is the other thing, why do I want to change? No one knows, and after all, God will forgive me, so is this issue of thoughts really that big of a deal? This is the 'why do I do what I do?' question that I posed earlier in this blog..
Why do I change to be more pure of heart? So that I love God. If I sin in my heart and do love others even in the attitudes of heart that no-one else but God sees, this in fact makes the biggest impression to God. It's what no-one sees but God and this is how we know we are truly loving God with an honest heart and a pure motive. No praise from man for being kind...but the affirmation we receive from the Lord in His gentle love, direction and peace are far greater praise than simple words of man.
Wouldn't you rather hear, "well done good and faithful servant" from the lips of the Father, as opposed to "great job and being nice" from a stranger?
I want the first response before I want the praise of man, and if that is truly true, than I should start acting like it. And I do these things not because I have to, but because I genuinely want to. With all my heart I want to because with all my heart, I love God...and this is why I love others as well.