God's Agenda

It's funny how in life, we wake up and decide, "this is what I want to do with my life.." and then we go for it. Truly, that is how it is with most of us, I was this way in high-school. I never really prayed about what I should do, I just had a thought, and went for it. Now, it ended up turning out OK, and now I'm blessed to have the job I have now, being a Mommy...
But I went off to beauty school...I'm being honest with you friends, I never prayed, "Lord, is this what you would have me do?"
I wish I would have....
Beauty school was one long nightmare...I love doing hair, and feel God gave me that passion, but the place, the timing and the people seemed all wrong as I look back, but God is faithful...
Today, as I sat and listened to the sermon, our pastor spoke on the aspect of prayer. Not just praying..."Lord help me do this..." but prayers that cut to the heart of the issues, a prayer for the Holy Spirit to so invade our lives that all we think, do and say is steered as ship's utter by the direction of the Holy Spirit. I never considered that thought in such in-depth detail.
I heard it said this past year in BSF my bible study on John, that the Holy Spirit is our compass, guiding us and directing us through life, and the word to highlight what we need to learn of His direct words to our hearts.
Which is amazing that such directing is available to you and to me. I'm left wondering, why have I never considered such direction before? And now I think, is that true for me in my life?
Has the Holy Spirit SO invaded my every thought, movement and word, that my life is not really "my" life, but God's agenda being lived out in me? Oh what a goal.
And friends, it's more than a goal, it can be a reality if we only ask for it. BUT, we have to ask, and we have to desire truly, and honestly and pray, truly and honestly. The desire has to be real, in order for the Holy Spirit to be real to us. New thoughts for me friends.
You know what this means tangibly speaking? My words are not my words...my thoughts are not my thoughts, my actions are not my actions.
My neighbor wrongs me, and I desire nothing more than to spew the wrong doings to the first person I see, what do I do when I'm on God's agenda, I love my neighbor...(sound familiar?)
You husband or wife upsets you, you want to scream not nice things to them, what do I do on God's agenda? I remain silent before them and the Lord, waiting for His direction to my heart as to what I should do and say next.
My heart rages with jealousy because "so and so" got something I wanted, or has "such an easy life" or never has to try for anything, it just happens...what do I do on God's agenda...I say NO to the fleshly feelings, I turn my eyes towards the words of Christ and say, "Away from me Satan, I want nothing to do with your evil desires for me.."
Doesn't that look different that what we having going on with us today? I know it does for me. When I look at my life, my life screams.."My agenda." I REALLY want that to change.
So what is the first step in allowing God to take on this agenda and make it His? By asking the Holy Spirit to invade my heart in mind, to lead me down the path of understanding and to show me how to love as He loves. Being in the center of His agenda means this: Surrender yourself...allow Him to take over your unloving thoughts, feelings and actions so much so that they nearly disappear. So that when "the situation" arises, (and it will) that I need to run His ability to love and be kind, the ability is there. Not by my own power but by my allowing Him to invade my thoughts, my actions, my attitudes, my words...my life.
It's not my life. It never was...It's His.
There is so much work that can and should be done in God's agenda, I just do not have the eyes to see it. I do not have the ears to hear, or the heart to comprehend. But I want it. Oh how I want it. When I look around me, I want to see the jobs He would have me do rather than always thinking, "what can I do to make my day the best for me." It's what we all do, myself included, we awake and our first thought is on how to make "us" happy. That may be apart of God's agenda, to bring our little hearts joy in that day, but the means by which He does it is so different from our idea. So the next time you sit down to pray, (which can be right now) you can say this to the Lord..."Not my will, but yours.." and start by telling the Lord that you have the desire to have this life be about His agenda rather than yours. This will be life changing for you my friends, it is beginning to be for me, as I too am getting a grasp on what this COULD look like in a life that has been surrendered.
It may feel like a bigger bite that you are willing to chew, but trust me friends, the Lord of All will make this chewable for you, just ask Him. He longs to hear your voice calling to Him in total surrender and humility. It's music to His ears. This is only the beginning my friends. What a life this can be.