Sitting on the Edge

You have heard it said, "they are always on the edge of that choice.." Never being set in one place or the other, but always on the edge of both..this is where I sat in my faith for many years, and I know I have referenced my past in such a way before, but I do this so that all of you will know I did not make it to the place of being in love with God over-night, nor did I get there on my own power. God was seeking all my life. From the very start, from the very first step of my journey out of Egypt and looking for my promise land, He always sought me.

Through my college time and life after college I floundered, I sought a little and prayed even less, knowing little to nothing about the real God who brought me out of slavery. But little did I know I was in another from of bondage, and it was the bondage of inability to move beyond the comfort of the edge.

"How can they call on the one they have not believed in? And how can they believe in the one whom they have not heard? And how can they hear without someone preaching to them? And how can they preach unless they are sent?" -Romans 10:14,15

That was me in a nutshell, I told friends whom I trusted I believed, but I didn't attend church regularly, I didn't display anything that said "I believe.." in my daily life and certainly did not further the kingdom with any type of real ministry towards others. My life was inward, and I was always on the journey for "happiness." As you can all imagine, I never found it on my own.

And do you know my friends, what it all boiled down to? I did not know God or anything about Him. When you know God, you trust Him, when you trust Him you act in the way He calls you to because He has wiped away your fear of the edge.

The edge is not a fun place to be, even though at times it does feel as though you've maybe figured it all out and everyone else who is "so committed" is really wasting a lot of time they don't have to. We lie to ourselves as say that life can be perfectly fine with the type of relationship we have with God right know. We like God, we know a few things about Him from the little we've read in the Bible, and we do think it's better to believe in Him that not too, but why go off the deep end? Why really cross over...?

Why? I will tell you why. I will tell you the dark side first and then show the hope packed behind this message.

One day, I woke up and my life was literally falling apart at the seams. There was no love in my heart for anyone in my life but myself and my child, and I lost most of my hope for life. That is where the life on the edge brought me. It gave me daily sadness, loss of hope, no peace, emptiness as I lay my head on my pillow, alone in my room in the dark..and a hopeless feeling in all I did. The edge had lost it's thrill, the edge had lost it's appeal, but now I was so used to that way of life I wasn't even sure how to move.

Now, the message of hope: God.

As soon as I called His name from my face down position on the floor, tears making a huge pool on the floor, I felt like the women in the Bible whom He picked up off the ground, dusted them off, gave the message of hope and said, "go, and sin no more..."

I nodded, and I knew I was saved by the grace of God, now, where do I go though?

To walk forward in the light, to daily take steps towards getting to know God, in other words, each morning, no matter how I felt, I opened the word and read His truths about Himself, and that changed everything. For when you know God, it changes all your attitudes and how you feel, act and interact with others, it changes you. For what is true about God, changes your whole life.

"Everything about our lives- our attitudes, motives, desires, actions and even our words- is influenced by our view of God."- Bill Bright

And it's so true. And once we take that first step from the edge we start to see God a little differently that we did before. How do you view God? What do you think about Him? What kind of feelings does the word "GOD" stir up for you? Here is what it should stir up for you:

"No in all these things we are more than conquerors, through Him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. " - Romans 8:37-39

In other words, He will never let you go because He loves you so. Isn't that a message of hope if you've ever heard one? Who else in your life will "never let you go?" All humans at some point will fail you, God does not fail you, ever!

So if you are standing there on edge of something big, like I was, ask yourself what I finally did, "What is so great about this edge?" And all I left behind when I took that first step was pain. And I walked into hope. Leaving pain for hope does not seem like a hard choice on this end, but I know the time it took to make the choice as I sat there before...because even if it's pain, at least we know what to expect, and we have become somewhat comfortable with that pain. Don't believe that lie friends. Take the step. What lies on the other side of your edge is a life filled with peace, hope and ultimate adventure in Christ.