Thursday, July 15, 2010

A Cheerful Heart


I am an over-analyzer...I analyze myself, my predicaments, and try to figure out what exactly I am doing wrong so that I can fix my circumstances...or so that God will fix them for me because I've now learned the lesson that I assume He is trying to teach me. Case and point: My sickness. It just never ends! However, last night after another long enduring day of it, I found myself wracking my brain out-loud to my husband about what I am doing wrong, and "how to fix it, so I will just get better!" And my wise husband gave me some advice..."to perhaps stop looking for the answers of WHY and just ask the Lord to help me endure." It was hard for me at first to hear that, but at the same time, his words held a lot of truth for me, and I think for anyone dealing with lots of trial...or suffering. Sometimes, there is no good answer..and sometimes the answer is "Trust God." This is a lot harder to say coming from the side that is enduring the hardship than from the outside, in. However, it's must-learn if I am to conquer this, and now, as I learned this morning, remain cheerful. Did I just say, "remain cheerful?!" Yes. I did. :)


How is this possible? Well, by no strength of my own. And I am not talking about a huge grin from ear to ear, however if God gives you that ability in suffering, go for it, people might just think your a little weird...:) But this is what I am really speaking of:


"All the days of the oppressed are wretched, but the cheerful heart has a continual feast.." Proverbs 15:15


Have anyone of you ever been with someone who is oppressed? And the way the verse states it, it sort of feels like a person chooses to stay in an oppressed mindset..I know that this is how I am. If I am down, I get myself in such a "funk" there is no getting out of it...on the flip side, a cheerful heart is a continual feast...and the only thing that comes to mind with the word "feast," is FUN.


My heart is not continual fun. And I'm not sure if it's "literally" possible, but I think that a version of that is...but another word that comes to mind for feast, is rejoicing. And rejoicing in suffering is a message that you hear all throughout the Bible..

After going through what I have been dealing with in this pregnancy..I have been quite the opposite of rejoicing. I rejoiced like crazy when I first got the news, but ever since the sickness set in, I've had a "lets juts get through this so I can rejoice when baby arrives.." attitude...and in part, I think that's natural...but there is a small part of me that wishes I could enjoy today, rather than always waiting for tomorrow. I do not want to be downcast, oppressed in spirit and a soul who does not rejoice unless things are perfect.

Having said that, how do we go about making this change, and implementing rejoicing into our daily lives, even when life is hard? By asking the Lord for a spirit that can rejoice, and by asking Him to show us how, and what to do to get there. I haven't really done that, but I'm beginning to. Take it from someone on the inside of a trial...it's not easy. But I do believe that with His strength, we can. I pray for healing every day, and when I'm not praying for healing, I'm praying for Him to sustain me in my healing. Now, I'm going to have to add, "help me rejoice in suffering" to that list. I feel very inadequate, and scared saying those words because it makes me feel like some pain I have not yet comprehended is to set in, (to make me put my money where my mouth is) but that is not how God works, and I need to put it out there so we all understand...those thoughts are derived from fear, and fear is not of the Lord. I trust Him, and I know that when I pray this, He will supply me with what I need. And so He will for you also...

Friends, this life is a process, we are not home yet, and I want to learn I am to learn, to be the best for Him that I can be. Some days, It's a long enduring road...and other days, it's a hop-skip and a jump. But wherever you fall in that journey, remember that your purpose is to serve Him, and in doing so, your life will have the purpose it was meant to have. And what is life with-out purpose? No life at all...what is life without Christ? No life at all. What is life oppressed and downcast? No life at all. We have been given all we need, supplied by the one who knows our needs before we ask..and that should give us a cheerful heart, just having that knowledge. Don't you feel more cheerful after hearing that? I know I do!

1 comment:

  1. As I've been reading your blog... (it's been a crazy last month and I'm FINALLY getting back into my blog and reading my friends' blogs again) ...I've been silently praying for you to feel better. But then I've thought of all you have learned about yourself and God in the midst of this trial. You have had to cling to God to get you through each day. He has revealed areas of growth and areas of weakness in your life. God has so been at work in your and I praise Him for that!

    Remember, NOTHING in God's economy is wasted. I remember feeling simply horrible my 3rd pregnancy. I just wanted Hannah to come! I can really sympathize with you. But I don't want to overlook what God has done and is continuing to do.

    I will keep praying...for you to feel better and for God to continue to show Himself to you in the midst of it!

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