"Oh! I give so much!"

Today, I was reading again the story of the woman who gave 2 copper coins, and Jesus proclaimed that she gave more than the man who gave lots of money...

Now I'm not a financial person by nature, and this story hit a different chord for me. The area of giving of myself and my time. Particularly the time I give to my kids...because those are the ones I obviously give the most of time to at this phase of my life. And sometimes, (a lot of the time) I do it a little begrudgingly, mainly because "I'm tired.." and I can't fathom going an extra mile for little children who I think "won't remember it anyways." Bingo.

They probably won't remember it, chances are....but that is not the point I'm realizing now. Light bulbs went off everywhere in my brain as I read this passage again in the light of being a Mom.

It's not about how much you put in, but the quality of where my heart is when I'm doing the giving. SO it may be true, that I'm giving all my hours each day devoted to the children's well being and happiness. But if I'm doing it with a frown, them I'm giving nothing. Things equate differently in the economy of God, and I'm starting to realize my small offerings that I've been giving, and feeling ashamed.

I know that all mom's get tired...and all Mom's feel like that are worn thin by the time 10pm rolls around, and the children are sleeping, and the house has been cleaned, and now finally I can think about something we may want to do. Even the way I type that, I felt a sense of "poor me" and I realize even further, my desire to be recognized for "all the work I do..."

God wants my best. My children need a Mommy who is focused on giving God her best, because then they receive God's best for them as He works through me. All through the day as I was tired, I did pray that God would sustain me, but I forgot all about praying that I would offer Him good things, despite my exhaustion. So, I did all these nice things for my children in hopes that then I would receive the reward of peace and quiet later. I always find myself doing things in hopes that "they will nap well..." I think my actions/thoughts are normal, but why must everything result in a reward for me? Do I want the trumpets to sound and the crowds to cheer for me as I run in ragged at the end of the day from wearing myself out trying to do what I think will be "rewardable in heaven." I do not think that was the intent of God for our hearts as we "serve" Him. True, that I may be doing the same thing, but it all about "where the heart is" and not about what your actions say.

So I can tell that some reconstruction must be done on my heart in order to do what I'm called to do...God will not reward me for saying.."I'm just going to get through this because, hey! that's what Mom's do!"

True that any work that is long and hard can be tiresome, regardless of line of work, but when you offer your energy as a sacrifice to the Lord with a pure and honest heart, wanting to give God, and the world your very best, then that is where you will see the difference. Others will see it too. When I am doing things out of duty, then my joy is gone. My face is long, and I most likely look worn down to others. However, when we are doing things, in the strength of God, for the glory of God, with a pure heart, one can only assume that God is more pleased with that than the first description I gave.

It's freeing to know that God will give me what I need...and in the hours that I am wakeful, I have every opportunity to honor Him as the poor widow did as her 2 copper coins made a very small "clink" in the bottom of the offering plate.

I may not be able to offer God as much right now due to my health, but I can offer Him what I offer Him, with a pure heart...and I see the obvious difference now.

Perhaps there is an area of your life that feels much like how I described my approach to mothering was getting, and changes in your heart need to made, if that's the case, you can do as I am today, asking for forgiveness and praying for a change in my thinking as the day wears on and the fatigue sets in. It's not about how much we give, but how we give what we've got!

And trust me, your spouse, your employer and your children WILL see the difference, and you will feel the difference in your heart as this truth of Word sinks into our lives.