Therefore, since through God's mercy we have this ministry, we do not lose heart (2 Corinthians 4:1)
I have been struggling a bit with myself lately, feeling as though "I'm not accomplishing anything" or I'm "never doing enough" either in my home, with my children or for the Lord. Paul would tell me that I'm "losing heart..." and that is not of the Lord. He tells me that I am more than a conqueror, and that I should not lose heart, and yet, I do. Which tells me, I'm not listening to the one whom I need to listen to most. Instead of listening to voices in my head, I need to listen to the voice of God and what He says to me is dramatically different than what I tell myself.
Chatting with a friend yesterday we both agreed that there is always something more that could be done, one more kind word, one more card sent, one more teaching lesson done with a child, and yet, even if we did all those things, I believe I would still feel like there more to be done. The work is always there, and God gives us the strength to accomplish what is most important for His plans for that very day. When I am listening to the Lord, when I am seeking His guidance, and being obedient in what He tells me to do, then what more should I do? I have to think that Paul was overwhelmed by his ministry at times, he talks about it some in 1 Cor. Chapter 4, He just says whats on his heart that "Up to this point we have become the scum of the earth, the refuse of the world..." vs 13
Basically, he seems discouraged, yet in the very next book he writes that we should not lose heart. I think Paul's life example should tell us, we all get down, but we are not to stay there. We are not to feel like "scum" because of emotions that come with a difficult time. We are to move forward in confidence knowing that when we are in the center of His will for us, we will be doing all we can! So, here is where I stand today, and what I am making certain of is that I am in the center of His will. Having the "mind of Christ" meaning that the thoughts of my heart, are things that would please Him...that I am not getting distracted by the things of this world, and thinking on things that are pleasing and holy. Do I do this perfectly? No. I don't. But today I realize why I do what I do. Why I seek Him each morning for the wisdom I will need for that very day. Because without His wisdom...I will not live out that day as HE would have me do...and when I live my day in my own wisdom, I have to think that this is where the feeling so failure come in...
So as I set out today in the wisdom and fear of the Lord...taking one step after another in His name, I know that today will be the day I ought to live, and there is no fear of failure in that.
Brad and I were just talking about this. Even Christ could have done MORE on this earth. He could have stayed longer...had more disciples...healed more people...etc. Sometimes when I cry over the things I didn't do that day/week/month, I just have to remember that even Christ didn't do it all. I just need to be faithful...not perfect. And if the Creator of the universe didn't do it all, I shouldn't try either...or feel guilty about it!
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