You will have to stay with me here, I've had a few thoughts rumbling around in my mind, and I'd like to see if they take life as I put them into words that form sentences...
I was driving to my apt. this morning when I heard a commercial on my local christian radio station about caring for the needs of others, and then following, a song with same message. Basically making a call out to people to be kinder to those in need, and to those who are already doing kind things to those in need, to keep it up. A good message, and one I tuned into, as my world is small, and my life is my family, I have a hard time reaching out to "needy people" and often I let myself off the hook all-together because I don't feel as though I truly have an outlet for this type of service here and now.
Some of that may be true...and some of it may be lack of motivation to get out there and "do something big." And so went my thoughts..."what is "doing something big"" in God's eyes, or do the "big things" being done impact the hearts of others around me, (those who witness my "good deeds") more than it matters to God that I do something that's so "big." I always like to do the big things, why? Mainly because I like attention. (If I'm honest) I mean, would I do something lovely for someone else if I knew no-one else in the world would know of it? Maybe, but probably not as much. And so, my desire to serve, where does it come from? Selfish ambition or to bring glory to God? That was the main question asked of me through the messages of both the audio clip and song I heard on the radio. What are my motives? And if my motives are wrong...whats the point of my service? In fact, what is the point to service to others all-together? Not to sound as though I do not care, for I do, and I know that the Lord calls us to minister to others, "feed my sheep.." "whoever offers a cup of cold water in my name..." His words are many on this..."care for the needs of the poor and needy.." and so we do. But, where is my heart?
What are my motives for all I do? Selfish ambition? Or to bring Him glory?
I serve Him in any way I can, and I do reach out to others when a situation presents itself and I sense the spirit's gentle push to move, but much of the time I think I find myself looking around to see if anyone saw me "do that nice thing..." I'm being serious here friends! I do speak for myself when I say those things, but I wonder if I'm alone in my ambitions, or if others act/feel as I do? I know I'm painting a pretty rotten picture of myself, but the motives of the human heart often times are rotten and revealing them, makes me conscious of them. To really purify my heart, mind and actions, and the motives behind all of those things I realize what I need to do.
I'm turning to the Father, and telling Him that He is the point. He is the reason why...and no other thing should take His place in that glory seat. Knowing all the while that if I do receive some sort of congratulations here on earth for my good deeds, then that is fine, but it should not and cannot be the point of why I do something. I know it's good to be in good standing with people, and to have a good christian name for oneself, but that should not be my sole motivation for doing good/kind things. Those things will not make Him love me more, but I do them with joy in my heart to bring kingly glory to His name. (or that would be the prayer)
My crown is in heaven, my glory is not meant for earth, His glory is.
Gives a different purpose to doing those things we do, doesn't it?
It all goes back to the old thought, "how many good things can I do, that will make me in better standing with the Lord on judgement day." And the answer is this: there is nothing I can do, in my own power that will save me on judgement day. Does not matter how many people vouch for me saying that I'm a great person, if my heart has not been rendered to Christ, and my desire to please Him only in the confession of my sin, then my good deeds will not matter one lick.
So here's the point: I serve Him, by serving others. I receive my props from the joy I get from knowing I am serving the Father and bring glory to His name. That's the goal of my heart anyways...and when I fail, (which I most certainly will) in bring His name that glory, I will repent, and start anew. Feel free to follow this plan, after all, it's not my plan, it's Gods!
It's grace that saves, not good deeds. It's His glory that matters, not my own. And service done in His name, is service done for the King. OK. I think I made sense of my thoughts to myself, hopefully, I did not confuse the rest of you!
My thoughts: Regardless of motivation... I really wholeheartedly believe that mothers of young children are in a time and place where serving their own family is what God wants and desires most. I mean, sure we still do good deeds when the situation arises. Little things. Things that don't overwhelm physically or emotionally. Because our main job is so utterly draining, and God knows that, and the season of our life will come when we can give of ourselves to others in BIG ways again. I just can't believe now is the right time. But you are so right, and what a good reminder, that what we do for others we do for Him. Wiping all this snot. Sweeping the crumbled up graham crackers. Doing the laundry and dishes. Even these mundane tasks bring glory to His name!
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