For Real?

Genuine. Honest. Transparent. Together those 3, they are the power clique of communication. The power punch of healthy relationships. Say what you mean. Mean what you say. Don't hint, don't mince, just say, and of course, say it ALWAYS laced in love.

I'm learning that when you say things "for real" and you say your genuine feelings, rather than than saying the thing that is (most likely) easier to say, but not as deep, you would be better off saving your breath. There is no time in this life to waste on not being genuine. On not being honest. On not being transparent, with those we love.

Tell me how you really feel.....how many times I have said that, and how many times have I heard that said to me? People want honesty...they want to know the root of the root of the source of the thing that drives us to say and act and be how we are.

Why are we the way we are? Don't make people dig for it...don't make them suppose or come to their own conclusions, don't be secretive...

Being mysterious is only cool in the movies. In real life, it just makes things complicated and confusing. Saying things that only make people suppose 1/2 truths and false perceptions, opens up door to miscommunication, and miscommunication KILLS relationships. Dishonesty, rips up roads to open, honest, relationships. Be for real folks. (and by folks, I mean me)

I think of all the trials my husband and I faced in our marriage early on, because I wasted so much time "beating around the bush" or "mincing my words" or telling half truths. If I was mad, I'd be passive aggressive, if I was sad, I'd milk it. If I was unhappy, I'd manipulate a situation to get more of what I wanted....It is my prayer that this will no longer be my pattern. God wants me to be genuine. God wants me to be sincere. God delights in honesty, God delights in transparency. Don't be fake. Don't be secretive, don't be hidden. (on any level)

Opening yourself up to honesty is hard, I'm not going to lie. It's like having the lights on full blast when your trying to sleep. It's shining lights on places you'd rather keep dim. It's kind of comparable to me, as standing in the middle of the coffee shop, naked. (not something I've ever done, or plan on doing) but it's a fair comparison. It's baring your soul to the ones you love and trust, because this in turn opens up their hearts to you more, and of course, your relationship will go deeper than it was before. And God desires for His children to have deep, rich, full filling relationships. Relationships like this fill a soul up, and are very instrumental in furthering the Kingdom. I personally want to be apart of furthering the kingdom in my marriage.(and other relationships with friends and family ) I want to honor the Lord with all the honest words that exit my mouth...and I want my TRUE feelings to be an open book of honest love to those I love the most...(and those I'm learning to love)

God will use folks who open themselves up in honest, transparent ways.

And if this feels like it's going to be hard...fear not:

"I can do everything through HIM who gives me strength..." -Phil. 4:13

Do you believe you could do this? Lets take it home...here is a scenario any married, (or unmarried) person could identify with. You come home, you know you are upset because of "this" reason, and because your husband did "that" and "it" was unacceptable to you. And now, you are going to make them pay. After all they should just know what they did to you. You shouldn't have to tell them. It's plain as day. (to you) BUT...if we follow Christ's example of being honest in all circumstances, we would come to our husband/wife/friend/sister/brother and say..."I am mad, because I feel like you did this to me..." and wait to hear what they say....do not say what you say in anger, say it honestly, lovingly, and in the most transparent way you can possibly think of. Don't mince it, don't even hesitate...just say it, say it, say it.

It is the unsaid that traps us. It is the unspoken that muddies the waters of our lives. We were called to be apart of something HOLY and this is our chance to do just that. So whatever it is that you think that you could never possibly tell them...tell them. Tell the root. Tell them the base. Tell them the truth. And watch as Christ takes something muddy, confusing, and dishonest to a place of crystal clear transparency. Is it going to be perfectly smooth and easy? Probably not...but not working through the mud, is only going cause more hardness and distance. Pretty soon, the mud will dry to clay, and the clay will turn to rocks. And once you have rocks where water should be, it is going to be quite feat to make the waters flow clear again. (He could do this however for He is God) *He specializes in this sort of a healing, :) But our prayer should be that it does not get to this point. So today, I take a step into the pools of honesty. And when I am called, I will lovingly, open my mouth, and wait to see what God has come out of it...or rather, how He translates what I have inside. Thank you Lord, you are so GOOD!!!!!