I DO believe

How much time have I wasted? But regardless, His grace is sufficient. "I'm sorry" I've said it a hundred times to the Lord in the past few days, I keep saying sorry about the same thing and He just keeps telling me, "I already forgave you." His grace is sufficient. "I'm a slow learner." I say to My Lord. He responds.."So were my other disciples...and yet, they too did great things for my name and Kingdom." His grace IS sufficient. I'M DONE trying to do this life and all it's doings, in my own strength. It's like trudging uphill through pea soup when you try to do things in your own ability. And why do it your own strength when truly, His resources are unlimited. Oh yes. I need that reminder constantly. Striving has ceased. SO what now Lord? I ask? Where do I go from here? "Believe me..." He says. "Believe that what I say is true, what I have planned for you is best, and that you are a child of mine who delights me..and never forget, My Father sees you as blameless in His sight when you accept my grace." You guessed it, because...His grace is ALL sufficient. Do I really get what this means for me? I'm starting to get a better handle on it because I see that all my works for Him are as filthy rags, and if I simply GIVE UP THE FIGHT and take Him up on His gift of grace, then I can be free in ways I never even thought possible. SO what motivates a believer who is THIS free? LOVE. That's it friends. Love. Love for her Savior. Because who wouldn't want to do all she can in His strength to say thank you to the beautiful Savior who gave it all for me? I do. And I want to do it for the right reasons, maybe for the first time ever. ALL I do, is because of what HE did for me. All I can do is love Him with how I live, interact with others and live out my faith, because friends, He first love you...and me...and everyone else..(even the person who bugs you and you'd like to say mean things about it.) Love does not delight in evil. LOVE keeps to records of wrongs. Love is not easily angered. Love is patient. Love is KIND. Love is peace-loving. Love is all that God demonstrated for US on the cross where HE died for all our sins. Love is self-sacrificing. Love is HUMBLE. LOVE IS NOT JUDGMENTAL...and the depths of THIS very kind of love is so very much available to all of us by His all sufficient grace that He made available to us through the death of Christ Jesus my Lord on the cross. He died...so I can live. Truly live. My striving in self has ceased friends. What a relief that HIS grace is sufficient. You want a picture of sufficient? Let me give you one that you commit to memory. MORE THAN ENOUGH. Left overs for ETERNITY. A meal big enough for all the hunger in all the world. Enough seats for every person who ever wished to sit. The jar of His grace will never ever empty. The other reason this is so beautiful is because of His extravagant gift of love that says, "I love you because I love you because I love you. AND I chose you because I wanted to, not because of ANYTHING you did, or anything I FORESAW that you would ever do. I wanted you, and so I loved you, and I died for you." WOW huh? Nothing else speaks more love to me that someone saying I wanted you not because of anything you did to make yourself desirable, but simply because I delighted in you and wanted you. Anyone else standing breathless? Jesus...you make me breathless. I told my sister today that I feel like I have one foot out the door...I want to be with HIM more than I want to be here on earth most days, and in my human weakness I often think wouldn't the beauty of being in His presence be SO much better BY FAR than being here in this imperfect world? My WISE and beautiful sister reminded me that He will take me home, but that He has me here because He has a purpose for me. Thanks for that reminder. I needed it. Because part of His choosing me was that at the same time He chose to love me, He also prepared for me GOOD WORKS to do out of my deep love for Him, out of my gratitude for His love, I now have things to do for His Kingdom. SO lets get this straight, First He chose me to love me because He simply sought me, and then, He gave me a reason to be here? WOW. If I sound like a crazy person to you, then that's OK, but I know then I am out of my mind because of His love for me. But I would argue friends that I have never been more sane. He is my best thought every day, and I am ready for Him to take me home, but until He does, I will be here. I will do what He asks, not because I am a slave by force, but because of in response to His deep deep love for me that He displayed to me on the cross...I out of a choice to submit to my loving, merciful, humble and loving Savior. I do all I do, because I love Him. He even gives me the love to love Him with. Nothing of what I have, give our receive is out of any doing of my own. I am here, solely because of Him. I mean that in the deepest sense. Not just surface. I exist, because He does. I move, because He moves me. There is NO boast in that...it's out of ground level, grovel in the dirt becuase of what He did for me that I speak. The only reason I stand and lift my face heavenward is because He tells me to. Jesus, your it for me. Amen.