I have been full of "Lord sanctify me" type prayers lately. That usually end up leaving me feeling pretty good about myself, and then of course that makes me feel like perhaps I'm a little more "arrived" than my neighbor. So this morning as I was sitting in church and with a heart longing to give my Jesus praise from a pure heart, I felt weakened by His presence. I stood there with hands raised because I knew my own wretchedness is what held Him on the cross. I wasn't thinking about the sin of my neighbor. I was thinking about MY sin. I've heard it said before that God uses difficult people in our lives to sanctify us...but I would take a step further than once you realize that you also realize that YOU are the difficult person. I've learning that lesson.
I've spent many days feeling like I was a pretty good "christian."
Turns out my righteous deeds are just "filthy rags" If I am taking stock in my own righteousness saving me, or making me better than another. "We are all the same at the foot of the cross." I've heard it said, and it's true my friends. Whatever I thought I could do make myself more acceptable to Him by my righteous deeds was not only "Pharisee" but also a complete and utter waste of human righteous effort. I've gotten to this place where I am today, not a place of "beating myself up" but rather, accepting the fact that I truly, utterly, add NOTHING to my salvation, or to the way HE loves me. I cannot EARN His love, and I am most certainly not any better because I ACT more righteous than any other person. You and I, are on the same platform in His eyes. Both myself and my neighbor are loved the same by Him. It's not like I ever would have looked at you said, "I'm better.." but my hearts attitude might have crossed that path from time to time. I never would have said it like that before today though. I think it is good to be honest before God and man whenever He lays upon our hearts something that has been hiding in the dark places. There is no judgments that will triumph over mercy. And who I am before Jesus, is beautiful, just because He said so. Not because I did anything to make myself that way. I always am praying, "Jesus I want to be empty before you, I want to be your vessel. Scrape me clean so I can be fully used by you.." But many days, I prayed that almost in a self righteous way also. Who I am before the cross...is this: Loved because I'm loved. Without Him, I'm the same as any other: Naked..shamed...sinful. With Him, I'm the same as well: Loved, redeemed, washed clean by His blood...forgiven and set free by HIM alone. There is no room for self-righteousness in that combination. See what am I getting at?
I need to take my pointing finger and turn it around on myself. So the next time I start to feel my hearts finger point at someone, I'm going to turn it around and point it at myself. And then pray for forgiveness, be washed clean and start over again. Serving Him because I can. Loving Him, because He first loved me, and loving others because it His command, and I do it of my love for Him. And I am called to love others, not in a "I'm gonna grit my teeth and love you, " type of way, but because by His Holy Spirit's power, I CAN love, I GET to love, and I WILL love because it's my joy, and gift to do this for my King. He's the reason we do anything. HE is the reason. Period. And I am committed to do this, In HIS strength, for HIS glory, and because it's my joy. Happy Easter Friends. Live in His freedom today because it's a gift...not because we have to...but because we get too...by His grace.
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