Sanctification is a process. I would much rather be fully sanctified all at once. But, I would be overwhelmed by the list of things I know He would have me change if I had to change all at once, so this is why The Lord only has us grow one area at a time. So this season I've just come out of, I like what He did with me. He took away some of my selfishness and replaced in me a desire to do His will more than my own. Of course so much of my fleshly desires remain, but with patient, careful walking with the Shepherd I know He will tend to my little wayward sheep's heart and transform me into more of His likeness the longer I walk with Him and listen to His voice.
I'm the sort of person that if I think I have done something wrong, I want to confess everything, past present, and future. I'd rather just get everything out all at once, and perhaps even confess things I didn't need to confess. :) But I don't think this is His design for me in my walk. I do believe there are things He wants to refine in me, but He does them one at a time, and He does it gently. The enemy would like me to become overwhelmed, fearful and discouraged to the point of quitting. Not so with my Jesus. My Jesus wants to shape me, mold me and make me look more like Him, but He doesn't do it in a way that shames me, or makes me flounder. He does it perfectly.
And I am so very thankful that I serve a gentle Master. One who carefully examines my heart, and gently prods me to surrender certain things to Him, and once I give up what I once held so dear, He replaces it with such a better version then what I used to have.
Where I once went to bed each night afraid with fear and in-trepidation of what He might do to me to cause me to give up my idols, He now lays me down in sweet sleep and causes me to willingly give up the little things I was so afraid to give up. Like, my need for control. My need to be IN control. My need to control my children's every little breath, and my desire to control my life. Once I gave HIM the control, so much of my fear went out the window. What I clung to so desperately, enslaved me. Control, or lack there of lead me to fear. And so, I see the pattern of sanctification in my life, and that when I give up, or surrender things to Jesus because I now know what He has for me is better, my life has peace. My nights have peace. And fear is no longer something I battle with to extent that I once did. I trust Him. I trust His plan. I realize the bondage I was once enslaved to, and I realize that my giving up control and the "rights" to my life, and handing the drivers seat over to the one who really knows the way, is what is perfect and ultimately, better for me.
Why would I want to drive when I don't own a map, know the way, and frankly, am not that great of a driver to begin with. Now, I jump in the car, and although my hands may be on the steering wheel at times, He is the who is driving me along. His hands, on my hands. I like to picture myself sitting in His lap. You know like how you used to when you were 5 and your far to short to reach the gas and break pedals in the car, and your daddy sets you on His lap, and asks, "want to drive?" Of course you do! So in the car you go, and onto His great big lap, and you rest your tiny little hands, so incapable still, yet, you feel like you can do just about anything while your sitting there in His lap with His hands resting on yours on the steering wheel. This my friends, is how I drive my life. He ultimately drives it, and I sit here....I turn where He guides, I steer which way He steers...I go where He wants me to go. And when I'm tired, He lets me rest in Him. He uses me...and I am thankful for that...He is in control, and I am in His lap.
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