Last Night I Had A Dream

My dream was this: I was playing out in my driveway with my kids, and all of a sudden off of my roof jumped a massive black creature. Maybe like something you'd see on a modern day alien movie. Black, hunchback, fangs, white teeth. Claws, muscles like superman and evil like you can imagine. The monster came and grabbed me and I think I died. I'm not sure what happened to my kids. I know this is a morbid dream, but it has a point. I have been a person who has always struggled with fear. And just last night before I went to bed I was thinking about how fear is kinda like a monster. The more you focus on it, the more you "feed it," the more the fear grows and grows. The more I fixate on a fear, the more I cannot remove the fear from my mind. Whether it be fear of someone breaking into your home, a fear of something happening to your children, or the fear of death, it doesn't really matter. Fear is fear, and fear is not of the Lord.

"For you did not receive a Spirit that makes you a slaved again to fear..." Romans 8:15

When I cave and give way and let fear reign in my heart, I am saying a few things, first I am saying that I don't trust the Lord. Because the Lord has promised me His best. And my times are in His hands. And also, nothing enters into my life except that which He allows in it. So if something scary enters into my life, it is something that He is letting in so that I can grow and learn from it. But I don't have to fear it. Whatever it is. Because God is giving me His best. (this is the circle I talk myself through every time I get afraid)
So fear is a monster. Fear can steal your peace faster than anything else. And ultimately, as a mom, or a human being, what is it that we fear most? Most would answer...death...or loss.
Right? Either you would die and your family would be left, and then who would care for them? (He does)
OR, its fear of losing a child, (which the enemy uses against me constantly) and in that case, I am fearful of the loss I will go through and how painful that will be. But truly, my times, and my child's times are IN HIS HANDS...and so I begin to talk myself through that circle again. I am afraid of my children facing physical pain. But the Bible tells us not be to be afraid of those that can harm the body, but rather, fear the one who holds our souls...and we don't have to fear HIM, because He already showed us the depths of His love by the way He sent His son for us through the cross, and grace. So here are some key points for us here who struggle with fear.
The number one thing I pray through whenever I begin to feel a fear come over me is this: 1 Peter 2:19b talks about that a man is a slave to whatever masters him. And I say, FEAR will not be my master. Jesus died to set me free from the fear of death. He died to set me free from slavery. And fear will not own me. If I am afraid of something, I am letting it have the drivers seat to my mind. "The mind of sinful man is death" Romans 8:6
I will not let my sinful mind take me down deaths road. I will not. Through the power of the cross and Jesus's blood, I can be an over-comer through Him who died to set me free. "They overcame him by the blood of the lamb and by the word of their testimony: they did not love their lives so much as to shrink from death" -Revelation 12:11  AND "He who overcomes will like them, be dressed in white." Revelation 3:5
  "Do not GIVE WAY to fear." 1 Peter 3:6b
The Bible is full of His words about fear. And clearly, it is something He knew we would need encouragement on. We are not failures because we have fears. Some fear is normal and natural, but letting our minds be eaten alive by the fears we have is not the victorious type of living the Lord had in mind for us. He knows that death is imminent for all people. And sometimes there is pain that goes along with it, but if He were sitting next to me right now in human form and spoke I think He'd say this: " I know you have fears. But I'm bigger than those fears. I know you don't like pain, but by MY wounds you are healed. I know you are afraid of things happening to your children, but your children are mine, and I love them even more than you do, don't you trust that I will do for your children what is best for you and your children?" And I would have to say YES on all accounts, because I know, that He is king over this flood.
Do you agree? He did not want me to live as a slave. Fear is a monster that eats my peace, and essentially eats my ability to live in a joy-filled, victorious way. But fear is also a dungeon. Here I sit in my cell of fear, when Jesus has already come by with the key and flung my cell gate wide open. And yet, with a downcast face, I tell Him, "No thanks Lord, I'd rather sit here in my cell." REALLY?!!! This is what I do when I stay in my fear. SO friend... What is is that you are so afraid of? Name it, hand it to HIM so that He can tell you, just like He told Lazarus in John chapter 11 verse 44 to "take off your grave clothes and let him go!" Come out of the grave He says to you. Take off your clothes of slavery! LET ME hold your times. TRUST me fully. DON'T FEAR what man could do...I am KING over your times and I have promised to give you a HOPE AND A FUTURE. A person needs to only spend 5 seconds in the Psalms to realize that He is a GOD who saves. HE is a GOD who cares and HE IS a GOD who is concerned for YOU.
SO the monster who ate me in my dream, I do in fact know what fear he represented, and I am thankful to God for that dream because for one, it was so real. And for two, it gave me a visual on what my fear actually does to my life. He is KING over this flood. And just like Noah, I trust Him.
"And free those who all their lives were held in slavery by their fear of death." - Hebrews 2:15

A Passage Worth Reading

A Passage straight from scripture that struck me today, and I thought it was something I ought to share.

2 Timothy 2:14-26
"Keep reminding them of these things. Warn them before God against quarreling about words, it is of no value and only RUINS those who listen, Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved a workman who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly handles the word of truth. Avoid Godless chatter, because those who indulge in it will become more and more ungodly . That teaching will spread like gangrene. (19) Never-the-less. God's solid foundation stands firm, sealed with this inscription: "The Lord knows those who are HIS, and everyone who confesses the name of the Lord must turn away from wickedness. (required action) In a large house their are articles not only of gold and silver, but also of wood and clay; some are for noble purposes and some for ignoble. If a man cleanses himself from the latter, he will be an instrument for noble purposes, made holy, useful to the Master (wow!)  and prepared to do any good work. Flee from the desires (requires action) of youth, and pursue righteousness, faith and love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a PURE heart. Don't have anything to do with foolish or stupid arguments, because you they produce quarrels. And the Lord's SERVANT must not quarrel; instead, he must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful. Those who oppose him he must gently instruct, in the hope that God will grant them repentance leading them to a knowledge of the truth and that they will come to their senses and escape from the trap of the devil who has taken them captive to his will. " (scary)

I will say as I read these words as a believer of the Lord Jesus Christ, it did make me stop and think. I am to be a instrument of the living God, His servant and this is my deep privilege. Avoiding the things my flesh desires is not captivity. It's freedom. It's a lie from the pit of hell that when you give things up for the faith you are miserable. Rather, I would say the Lord replaces the things I divorce, the things that belong to the "evil desires of my youth" with good things, better things, things that fulfill me more. And believe it or not, the things I once so longed for now, do not really even appeal to me. Why? Because Jesus satisfies me more. The more I hold open my hand for Him to take what was not mine to begin with, the more He hands me back with upgrades of what I used to have. My fake joy, is now authentic. My fake laughter is now deep and real. My fake marriage is now the real deep and meaningful marriage I know He longed for me to have. Basically, I take everything I used to hold so dear, gave it back to the one who died to set me free, and He handed me all my soul needed, or desired. Because once I am held in His hands of perfect love and contentment, the things I desire, are the things He desires for me. I want, what He wants for me, and in that, I am COMPLETELY HELD. Completely content, and complete.
I don't want to be doing any of Satan's work. I want to live for the Kingdom and for my King, my Savior, My Jesus, with everything I think, do and say.
Obviously, we all screw up at times, and that is why He preaches the gospel of GRACE and MERCY. Getting what you don't deserve. I screw up, He forgives me, and loves me regardless. AND in the that, HE is our example. Others screw up and sin against us, and we have grace for them. It's a beautiful example of how we ought to be. And the above passage is a great way to pray! He showed us what to do, and of course how to do it. (through Him.) and the why. ( point our faces heavenward to our glory and kingdom that will not fade or wear out. That moth and rust will not destroy and were every tear is wiped away) I know it is hard to fathom or even picture what this looks like. After all, we only have what we know. But as I stare into the mirror and window of the Bible, I see something to good to imagine. And frankly, it can't come soon enough for me! But until heaven is my reality, I am content to bask in the goodness of His word, and share the goodness with all of you. Enjoy. Eat up. The above passage is a hearty meal.

What I've got..

As I wrestled with the "why is life so hard" thought this week...and of course, "why can't things be easier for me" the Lord encouraged me today with some words. Perhaps they will encourage you as well.

"Whoever believes in ME, as the Scripture has said, streams of living water will flow from within him." -John 7:38

Living water? IN ME? Oh my goodness, that is what is available to me.
I've been licking the dust of my human, stark insufficiency to deal with my life's issues. Rather than tapping into the living waters the roll like the waves on the ocean that lives INSIDE of me.
INSIDE OF ME.
I just have to tap into it.
Sit at His feet. Surrender.

So today I told the Lord, "I give up" on trying to do "this" in my own strength. It's been a long couple of days, and i'm sick of the deceit that lives in my heart.
SO as I named my sin, and called it what it was, and requested the Lord rescue me from my hole of yuck, He did. He swept in like the river He is.
The river of life, living inside of me.
And I wrote this "poem" in my journal today:

Living waters!
    Flowing in me.
LIFESPRING.
Splashes on my face.
JOY of my salvation.
Constant.
Sustains me.
PROTECTS.
Creates thanksgiving within me.
Spurs me ONWARD in HOPE.
I AM REDEEMED.
Held.
              I have something to be excited about that will not fade away.
A hope that will not end in the end.
He takes my ASHES and turns them into beauty. beauty for ashes. 

"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may OVERFLOW with HOPE by the power of the Holy Spirit." -Romans 15:13

No more dry bread crusts for me my friends. He has a banquet prepared for me, all I had to do was surrender my dead stuff, for His goodness. Not only can I be sustained, I can flourish. Like a 4 year old who is going to a crystal clear blue pool for the first time. I get to jump into His pools of joy and hope, and help. I surrender all. Jesus I surrender. Amen.

Cross over the lines.

Boom! My head hits the wall. BAM! I smack against the wall again. Crack! I hit it one more final time. How many times do I have to hit my head on the wall before I realize, hitting the wall does not make it move? To move a wall you need a big crew of people who know what they are doing. You need the right tools. The right amount of time.
When was the last time you had a bitter, mean, hateful word said to you, and it made you change what you were doing? Usually when someone says something to me in anger, I resist them all the more. So why, and I ask myself this...do I think that saying something in anger to another person whom I might disagree with, would cause them to change? My words, my bitter angry devouring words will never change another person.
And a third thought, how do I practically live our Jesus's words, "I desire MERCY, not sacrifice..." Sacrifice is all outward. Mercy is what's on the inside. I'll do something to show someone my deep deep love for Jesus by the way I sacrifice for Jesus. I hate to even say that because what could I ever sacrifice to Jesus that would "pay Him back" for what He did for me on the cross. Nothing. I can do nothing. Mercy however, is saying in effect that, "Jesus, I have nothing, but my life. Use my life. To love others. To be your hands and feet. Use me as you will..." And in that friend, even in that place, I still think, "It's a gift to be used.."
You have seen the scenario..(in my own life) I do something grand...I tell everyone about it, or hope that someone else will speak of my grand sacrifice that I bestowed benevolently on another undeserving individual, all for my glory in the end though. Because honestly, could you imagine if I did this wonderful thing and no-one noticed? Oh the agony! I realize i'm being a little antagonistic towards myself here, but I don't want to use another person, i'm the best example I could think of.
Jesus says, "by their fruit you will know them." "I desire mercy, not sacrifice." "Love God, love my people."
So in light of these statements I have a few thoughts.
This life I am in, is not eternal. This life will fade. It's temporary. The battle is really not against flesh and blood. I want to be a faithful minister for Jesus. He has for some reason chosen to use me. (by grace) and I want to make myself absolutely and UTTERLY available to Him. I want nothing to hinder Him and I from having a good relationship. What hinders us? My sin. My flesh gets in the way so often. I choose to do something to self gratify myself. Like, elevate myself above another, choose to not help someone. Choose to put someone down with my words, or in my heart. I choose to respond selfishly. I choose me, over Him. That's what it is really. But outwardly I can still maintain a "sacrificial" demeanor. In the social media world an d in the eye of the watching world, I can look really good. But God knows my secrete motives, my heart. My secrete desires to simply pray my loud prayers in the public square, and ultimately do things that only make me look good to others. This is how I am in my flesh. Really.
So when I see this, I say yuck. And I decide that it stinks bad enough that I am going to moment by moment put on Jesus Christ's attitude through prayer, and in the meantime pray for a vision for the eternal. To pray for a mindset to sink deep within my person that considers the next life, more real than the life I am in now. To lay aside the sacrifices, and put on the mercy. To say the thing that draws us together. To do the thing that connects the great expanse. To put on the attributes of Christ, and to put off the ways of the flesh. I know I can do this only through Jesus, and when the good has been done that HE has asked me to do for Him, in Him, by Him, with me as His gloves, I turn around and give His name all the fame.
It's a new way of thinking. Image control is huge. I want to lay aside my image and cross over the lines and live like He did. How many years have I wasted living for myself? To gratify the desires of my flesh? I don't want to be holy because then others will say, "Oh look how Holy she is..." No. He says, "be holy because I am holy." I want to be holy, because it blesses others.
Only He can make it legit. Only He can make this be real in me. By the fruit you will recognize them. I don't want fruit that is lovely on the outside but rotten and moldy on the inside. Have you ever seen a peach that is like that? You pick it out at the store because it LOOKS sooooo good. But the second you bite into it, it's dry, and gross. I don't want to be that kind of person. I don't want to wear the Jesus t-shirt but flick off my husband. I don't want to be the fraud who says I love you, but thinks nothing about cutting you off in traffic. Why the severity? Because. Hebrews 9:14 tells me that I "serve the living God." And one day, I will be with Him for all of eternity, in my eternal home. My life now?  A mist and a vapor. I'm gonna start living like it's fleeting and live hard for Jesus now, knowing my eternal reward will be there, and I want to live for my Jesus, the way my Jesus lived. Mercy, not sacrifice friends. Lets cross over the lines and love, and live like He did. (and lives through you and I.)

The RUN must have a purpose behind it

No one wants to run for no reason. No one wants to just head out, full force, with no prize in mind. We all have some sort of a finish line goal don't we? Or at least a reason WHY we are running. I'll tell you my purpose in a moment, but first let me think out loud with you here.
So here I am, on earth. Hi. Just me here. My life began, my life will end. Lets pretend I don't know how I got here on earth, and lets pretend I don't know why I am here. Say someone else was on earth who could tell me why I was here, and what my purpose was, don't you think I'd want to know the answers to those questions?  Wouldn't you?
As I walk the earth, roam the land, I see things. I experience things, but if I don't know why I am here, and I don't know where I am going, or why I am going, don't you think the "trip" would feel a little pointless? I do.
Who wants to take a vacation to no-where? Who wants to stop and learn things but not know what the point in gaining knowledge existed? Who wants to walk without an aim. I would venture to say, no one. No one wants to be a pointless person. I would actually argue the opposite. We are all striving and living for purpose and significance. But, the problem is, who are we living significantly for? Is it to further our own name? Or perhaps, are we living for a cause? And is the cause eternal? Or will it fade...
What do I live for? Well lets see... I want to be a good mom. Why? I guess because I want to raise good kids. Why? Because I want my kids to have a good life. Why? Because a good life will be enjoyable for them, and so they can be successful. Why do I want them to be successful? So that they can for 70+ years enjoy whatever it is they are good at? For what purpose? So someone will congratulate them on their success? What I am getting here is this: Did my life on earth make a difference. And what difference does it make if their is no life beyond THIS life.
Now, lets go back to who I am and who I KNOW I am. I am, a Child of the King. The Lord, upon the day I accepted that Jesus is real, and that I need Him in my life, my REAL life began. Before I realized I needed Him, I didn't know what I didn't know.  Because of JESUS my life has purpose. There is reason that we want to be successful. There is a reason we want to MATTER. There is a reason that we want to live as long as we possibly can. We were designed to be excellent. The only problem is, is that for most of my life, I was trying to be excellent for myself. To further my name. For my fame.
Friend, have you ever considered that there is more to your life, than what you see? Have you ever thought that maybe, the road you are on, is not the one you were made to walk? Does it feel like your out for an evening on the town in someone else's dress? You just don't feel comfortable in your own skin? Then perhaps that is the Lord tapping you on the shoulder saying, "Ask me if I've got a different plan for you life than the one you have planned out for yourself."
There is a difference from the way I used to feel every morning when I woke up. I used to wake up with guilt. Every day I'd wake up feeling like I wasn't good enough, and what on earth could I do so that I would finally feel CONTENT. You know what I mean? Content. Able to sit and look at yourself and say, I may not LOVE everything I see, but i'm LOVED by God, and I like what He is doing with me. That is what I can say now...I screw up a lot. I do selfish things. I say selfish things. My motives are impure and my heart can be ugly. But I realize now where my purpose lies. SO when I screw up, and I know when I do because the God who lives inside of me confirms in me that I am not at peace with Him, and I realize that I need to once more, realign myself with His will for my life. And once I pray and ask for His forgiveness, and make my heart a clean home for Him once again, the peace returns. And I realize, my purpose for my life is to please HIM. To please GOD. I am on earth for a reason, and it's to be used by Christ. For His holy purpose. I am by myself, without God, a very sinful person. But when I clothe myself in the Lord Jesus Christ, I am ready for service for the Kingdom of Christ. The Kingdom of purpose. And when my purposeful life on earth ends, I will begin my REAL life. My life that will not fade, the life where I won't have to wrestle with making choices in the flesh anymore. I will always be clothed with my Lord Jesus Christ, and my attitude will finally be eternally "that as the same as the Lord Jesus Christ."
I know I am not perfect. And it is clear all of humanity screws up from time to time, but my all over life purpose is to live in line with the desires of His plans for me. He has work for me to do...and frankly, each day, I wake up excited to receive my "marching orders" for that day! It's exciting. And it's exciting to see His purpose confirmed as I find things the way He tells me. He always comes through. He never tells me something and then leaves me hanging. If He has a job for me, He provides the tools. If He has a plan for me, it's always comes into fruition. That is the consistency of the God I serve. Friend, have you ever asked the God of the universe what His plan for YOU is? I guarantee, He's got one. Ask Him in an honest way. He will answer. And wait, for your real living to unfold before your very eyes.
"For I know the plans I have for you, not to harm you but to give you a hope and a future."
-Jeremiah 29:11

If you need me, let me know, but right now, I have to go report for duty.

Overtired...Overworked...want to escape!

Anyone ever felt any of these things. For some of you may have said, yes, yes, and oh, yes! To all of those things!! For the believer, what we see is temporary. Anyone needing to hear that? Me too! There are days where I say this, "Ok Lord, So I know this world is loved by many, and what blessings you have surrounded me with I am SO very thankful for, so don't let me sound like an ungrateful child, but seriously, WHEN ARE YOU COMING BACK! CUZ I'M SERIOUSLY READY!!!" 
Anyone feel this way? Anyone tired of the daily trials, the daily struggles, the daily dealings of the flesh?! It's what we were told would happen. Jesus told us that in this world we would have trouble but to take heart because He HAS overcome the world.
And so today, I talked with the Lord, and told Him my frustrations about the daily life struggle, the struggle against the flesh, the perseverance it does in fact take to live for the Kingdom, (we do persevere in His strength but it does feel difficult still at times...) and the desire to live as child of the King, one who reflects the King, I confessed I was feeling rather worn out. "So give up the fight and live for the world..." That is what the enemy has whispered to me before. And at times, I admit, the world seems like they have got it all figured out. But listen my friends..the world sells false peace. I serve the SOURCE of peace. The world sells false contentment, (toys, money, food, drink, vacations that will not end) What the world sells will in fact fade. The world is not eternal. What we cannot see is eternal. The life that is awaiting us beyond the darkness of this life. And to some, I acknowledge, this life probably does not seem all the dark. In fact, this life may seem lovely to them. They are supplied with the things they need, they can do things and not feel guilty and they can spend their money on whatever they want, and some might call this freedom. But I would caution you against this thinking, freedom is found only in Christ. Whats the difference you may ask? I will tell you my thoughts. This world will perish without Christ, and for a time, the prodigal son, did enjoy his time with his fathers inheritance...but he squandered it away over time with parties, and the like. So one day, when he awoke in a pile of pig food, longing to eat what the pigs were eating because he got to the very end of his last dime, and it was not enough to keep him fed anymore. This is how we are in the world. There is no victory in store for me if live my life for me alone. To gratify all of my selfish wants and desires, because lets face it, the moment I meet one desire, another one springs up. "That's just part of being human!" you may say...and you are right. That is part of being human, but I don't have to live like that. Remember? I'm a child of the King! And as I daily lift my head from my pillow I remember this..knowing that my satisfaction and my contentment come from living for my King, walking with King (daily time in the Word) and putting aside the desires of the flesh. (1 Peter 4) The desires and wants of my flesh will honestly never be hushed if I feed them. It is not that I don't enjoy the blessings and good things He has lavished on me, I do enjoy them, but I hold them with an open hand, not a closed fist, because I recognize that it is not the "thing" that brings me happiness. It is the giver of the "thing." No drink, party, sexual experience, vacation, shopping trip, or new item will make me happy, content and no longer wishing for more. I would argue the more we get, the more we want.
Rather, there is a new line of thinking that I would like to pitch to you. How about this?
"To him who overcome, I will give the right to sit with me on my throne, JUST AS I OVERCAME, and sat down with my Father on His throne." Revelations 3:21
My new challenge? Be an overcome-er in Christ. This is not a made up story, a made up fairy-tail that is a "jokes on you when you die" or a "You have denied yourself the world's pleasures all your life and now your dead.." kind of deal. This words in the book the Bible, are the very words of God. This reality is hitting me in a whole new way. So here in front of my face, I have God telling me, that when I overcome the desires of the flesh and live a life that honors my Dad, the King...then when I die, or when Jesus comes back, (whatever happens first) I will sit on the throne as one who contended for the faith and overcome the powers of this dark world through Jesus Christ my Lord, for the glory of God the Father, Maker of heaven and earth? Anyone else feel rejuvenated? I do. I am praying that everyone who reads this post will have their spirits lifted, and a desire to live as an one who overcomes, be newly inspired to continue on for Jesus.
We will not be disappointed because friends, even though "we are outwardly wasting away, daily we are renewed by Jesus." "The author and the PERFECTER of our faith," ( Hebrews 12:2) " The one "who did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but rather, taking on the very nature of a servant, even to the point of death on a cross"( Philippians 2:6-9)  "the God who ever lives and breaths to INTERCEDE FOR ME"( Hebrews 7:25)  "and the God who is able to do immeasurably more than we could ever ask or imagine," (Ephesians 3:20) has a place prepared for me in heaven. AMEN?! amen. Live. For. Jesus.
Sing with me today: "I have decided, to follow Jesus, I have decided, to follow Jesus, I have decided to follow Jesus, NO turning back, NO TURNING BACK. Though none go with me, STILL I WILL FOLLOW. Though none go with me, still I will follow, though none go with me, still I will follow, No turning back, no turning back." 

Anything BUT Victorious

Anybody ever have those days/weeks/years, where you feel anything but victorious? I do. I had VERY wonderful intentions of rising above, and conquering my situation, my circumstances that were less that desirable these past few days. But it seems as though instead I ended up knee deep in cow poop and crying because I wanted to give up. REALLY this is how it felt. SO today, I put my children down for their naps and I reminded myself that yes, victory rests with the Lord. The Psalmist tells us that a horse is a "vain hope" for deliverance but He who rests in the hands of the Lord will as Isaiah says, "rise up on wings as eagles, run and not grow weary..." Run and not grow weary? OH! I want that. I realized however, 48 hours into my "failure" to have victory that I really had failed because I was trusting in myself. My little old self cannot hold up a chopstick if I wanted to, and I was so exasperated this morning that I literally got on my hands and knees and cried out to God for rest. (at 4am) and He gave it. He came to me like a flood. I did end up getting the rest I needed...and The filling of the power of the Holy Spirit ensued. As I called on MY ONLY HOPE of deliverance I  felt my peace rush in like a river. And my anxiety that was great within me began to feel more like what the Psalmist described in his 23rd Psalm...still waters. My raging seas were being hushed. And my attitude now needed to be addressed. You see I can easily take on the "woe is me" attitude with the snap of a finger. I feel slighted..."WOE IS ME..." I feel frustrated by someone else's actions towards me.."WOE IS ME.." and the list goes on. But generally speaking, the "woe" place is an easy place for me to go to.
I gently reminded myself that I truly have nothing of any catastrophic level to woe about, but needless to say, my sinful, fleshly self definitely took advantage of another good opportunity to woe. And so I went on "woeing" about how terrible I had it. Until this morning. As I hit my knees in the wee hours of the morning I realized, I have nothing unless I ask Jesus for it. I was floundering, flailing and flopping about like a fish out of water because I was trying to swim in the ocean without arms. How is that for a mental picture? That is how I have felt the past two days. But thanks be to God for His indescribable GRACE who plucked me off the ocean floor in my state of death and breathed life into my lungs again, and gave me two legs to stand on, firmly stationed on His all surpassing ability to transform even the death of my fleshly makeup to a restored being that had life and breath. He breathed life into the dead places of my heart, and shined light into the darkness of my being so I could bring to Him the things I needed to surrender, and lay at His feet so that He could not only wash me clean, give me a fresh start, but also transform me into the new creation He intended me to be.
All on my own, when left to myself I am a pretty miserable little arm-less fish out of water. But when I am clothed with the strength of My Jesus, I can do all things through Jesus Christ who gives me strength. Because in Jesus, I am more than a conqueror. In Jesus, I am a victor and Victory is mine says the Lord! I love that I serve a God who can Resurrect the dead, and transform me into  a better version of my self. Conviction is a gift I might add...as I brought all of my lifeless behavior that was so contrary to the Spirit and laid it at the foot of the cross, I was able to receive back more life in return. So lets get this straight, I hand Jesus my dead stuff, and replaces it with things that are alive? Can anyone say AMEN?! I can. Thanks be to God for this gift. Because He is a God who can do immeasurably more than I could ever ask or imagine with my circumstances that seem so bleak. He makes a way when now way can be seen. I told a friend that I am "not going back to Egypt..." I did however take a little field trip there, and I promise you, I am high-tailing it back to the "Promise Land..." Or at least to my way there...
I don't want to live in the land of slavery when the Land of Milk and Honey is my other option. Anyone agree?
So now, I have the rest of this time, the duration of this time where I need His joy to survive my circumstances that to the common eye still are less that desirable but with Christ, I can be victorious in my trials. Jesus is the victor. He conquered sin and death to set us free. And I intend on taking Him up on the gift of His empowerment, grace and new mercies (that are new every morning mind you) And letting Him work in the places that I see no hope. And letting Him be my way out...and letting HIM breath life into the dead places. And guess what else? IN ENTERS PEACE. SO now, even though my circumstances haven't changed, I am no longer focusing on them, instead, I am merely taking a glance at my circumstances, and I am Fixing my eyes on Jesus. And trust me Friends, I don't plan on looking away from Him either. So if you see me out and about, and I don't make eye contact, it's because my eyes are so fixed on Jesus, I can't tear my gaze away. :)

Be blessed by these words today friends, and know this, victory rests in Jesus Christ alone! (never leave home without Him!!!)