Anything BUT Victorious

Anybody ever have those days/weeks/years, where you feel anything but victorious? I do. I had VERY wonderful intentions of rising above, and conquering my situation, my circumstances that were less that desirable these past few days. But it seems as though instead I ended up knee deep in cow poop and crying because I wanted to give up. REALLY this is how it felt. SO today, I put my children down for their naps and I reminded myself that yes, victory rests with the Lord. The Psalmist tells us that a horse is a "vain hope" for deliverance but He who rests in the hands of the Lord will as Isaiah says, "rise up on wings as eagles, run and not grow weary..." Run and not grow weary? OH! I want that. I realized however, 48 hours into my "failure" to have victory that I really had failed because I was trusting in myself. My little old self cannot hold up a chopstick if I wanted to, and I was so exasperated this morning that I literally got on my hands and knees and cried out to God for rest. (at 4am) and He gave it. He came to me like a flood. I did end up getting the rest I needed...and The filling of the power of the Holy Spirit ensued. As I called on MY ONLY HOPE of deliverance I  felt my peace rush in like a river. And my anxiety that was great within me began to feel more like what the Psalmist described in his 23rd Psalm...still waters. My raging seas were being hushed. And my attitude now needed to be addressed. You see I can easily take on the "woe is me" attitude with the snap of a finger. I feel slighted..."WOE IS ME..." I feel frustrated by someone else's actions towards me.."WOE IS ME.." and the list goes on. But generally speaking, the "woe" place is an easy place for me to go to.
I gently reminded myself that I truly have nothing of any catastrophic level to woe about, but needless to say, my sinful, fleshly self definitely took advantage of another good opportunity to woe. And so I went on "woeing" about how terrible I had it. Until this morning. As I hit my knees in the wee hours of the morning I realized, I have nothing unless I ask Jesus for it. I was floundering, flailing and flopping about like a fish out of water because I was trying to swim in the ocean without arms. How is that for a mental picture? That is how I have felt the past two days. But thanks be to God for His indescribable GRACE who plucked me off the ocean floor in my state of death and breathed life into my lungs again, and gave me two legs to stand on, firmly stationed on His all surpassing ability to transform even the death of my fleshly makeup to a restored being that had life and breath. He breathed life into the dead places of my heart, and shined light into the darkness of my being so I could bring to Him the things I needed to surrender, and lay at His feet so that He could not only wash me clean, give me a fresh start, but also transform me into the new creation He intended me to be.
All on my own, when left to myself I am a pretty miserable little arm-less fish out of water. But when I am clothed with the strength of My Jesus, I can do all things through Jesus Christ who gives me strength. Because in Jesus, I am more than a conqueror. In Jesus, I am a victor and Victory is mine says the Lord! I love that I serve a God who can Resurrect the dead, and transform me into  a better version of my self. Conviction is a gift I might add...as I brought all of my lifeless behavior that was so contrary to the Spirit and laid it at the foot of the cross, I was able to receive back more life in return. So lets get this straight, I hand Jesus my dead stuff, and replaces it with things that are alive? Can anyone say AMEN?! I can. Thanks be to God for this gift. Because He is a God who can do immeasurably more than I could ever ask or imagine with my circumstances that seem so bleak. He makes a way when now way can be seen. I told a friend that I am "not going back to Egypt..." I did however take a little field trip there, and I promise you, I am high-tailing it back to the "Promise Land..." Or at least to my way there...
I don't want to live in the land of slavery when the Land of Milk and Honey is my other option. Anyone agree?
So now, I have the rest of this time, the duration of this time where I need His joy to survive my circumstances that to the common eye still are less that desirable but with Christ, I can be victorious in my trials. Jesus is the victor. He conquered sin and death to set us free. And I intend on taking Him up on the gift of His empowerment, grace and new mercies (that are new every morning mind you) And letting Him work in the places that I see no hope. And letting Him be my way out...and letting HIM breath life into the dead places. And guess what else? IN ENTERS PEACE. SO now, even though my circumstances haven't changed, I am no longer focusing on them, instead, I am merely taking a glance at my circumstances, and I am Fixing my eyes on Jesus. And trust me Friends, I don't plan on looking away from Him either. So if you see me out and about, and I don't make eye contact, it's because my eyes are so fixed on Jesus, I can't tear my gaze away. :)

Be blessed by these words today friends, and know this, victory rests in Jesus Christ alone! (never leave home without Him!!!)