It must be taught... (Wives)

I have been spending a lot of time thinking about the role of the wife/mother, the woman's "role" in her home, and life. As a wife, I am learning, that just because we have a wedding, and then give birth to children it is not always easy for me to render my own desires for that of another. Rather, to surrender my way and will to the desires of my husband, who at the end does get the final word in our home. He does love me as he ought, which means he considers my desires and wishes, and through prayerful Godly wisdom makes the right choice for our family, and I can say I cannot think of a time where he has painfully steered us wrong. He is a good leader, so for me, it now becomes a choice. A choice to lay down my will. My desires that well up inside of me to be in control. My desires to lead the way, to charge ahead, and say no to the order that God placed over us. God made man first. God, asked woman to be His helper. Man needs a helper. It's true. We do need one another. Have you ever seen a home that has been left unattended by a woman for a week or so if she has left town, its a sad sight. But, have you ever seen a woman try to "do it all" with the home, children, finances, yard, work and everything in between? It can be done, but its very difficult. There are certain cases where abandoned women do have to do this, but in a perfect world that woman is being helped by outsiders, and she is given a grace and a strength that is special to her, from the Lord. (I believe)  That was a bit of a tangent but I think it was worth addressing.
SO what am I getting at here? I doubt that what I am saying here is a very popular view with most women today, and I am the first to say, this is not an easy thing to do, to accept this role. But let me tell you something girls, this role, the calling? It's a high calling. The calling to love your family, respect your husband, and serve them. I need to add who's strength we are serving in however. If you simply pull yourself up by your bootstraps and say, "I'm going to lay myself aside and do this thing." Well you will fall. Maybe not right away, but doing something by sheer determination is not good enough for the span of a lifetime. Not only is that avenue exasperating, it's not how it's intended to be. Rather, the Maker of the order of the family, also wants to empower you to fill that role. He wants to show you not only HOW to do it, but He wants to be the means by which you do it. He wants to fuel you. He wants to lead you and guide you into the best way to fill the role He gave you. If you have a husband right now  it is safe to say that God wants you to be wife. If you have children it's safe to say that God wants you to be a mother. Now I find rather ironic that in the book of Titus, Titus states that older women need to "TRAIN the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self controlled, and pure, to be busy at home and to be kind, to be subject to their husband." (Titus 2:4-5) Isn't that interesting? We have to be trained to do what most people probably assume is to come to us naturally. No, love is not organic. Sure, it's easy to love those easy to love, and sometimes it's true, our children and husbands are easy to love. I have those moments. :) But most of the time, we choose to love. Most of the time through Godly leading, wisdom and good choices, we train ourselves to love people even when it's hard. We have choices to make, because as soon as the "warm fuzzy" goes away in marriage or in mother hood, then all of a sudden your at war with yourself. You want your way. You, as a women have a need! And it's true. You do have needs. And it's especially hard to put down your own desires when the one whom you are putting them down for does not appear to appreciate the sacrifice. I feel that way all the time. I forfeit my shower so I can make the kids cupcakes, and then they won't eat them. Really?! I think?! I sacrificed for you! Your so ungrateful!!! But then I have begun to realize...I have a constant source of peace living right inside of me, and I nearly almost always, forget to tap into that peace. My best advocate lives with me in my soul. He knows what I need. So when I am following His leading, His plan or ordained way, I know He is doing what is best for me. He is always working for me.
SO say in the case of a wife whose husband keeps making bad choices for her family, she can do her best to follow hard after God, place her life in the hands of the very capable Father, and also place her husband and his seemingly bad choices in the Fathers hands. She can do all that the Father leads her to do, and she can respect her husband even through the challenges, because she knows the Father is really in control. In cases of abuse it's clear that women should not sit and be abused, but in cases where a women is disagreeing with what the man is doing, she can be confident of one thing, as she the wife, respects her husband, the authority that the Lord placed over her, she can be at peace even if her circumstances are less than desirable. For our peace and hope are not found in our circumstances, but rather in our Savior.
What we have in our lives right now, is fleeting. It's not eternal. God, His Kingdom and His plan, that is eternal. If we can focus on this one thing when things get difficult on the home front, we can be at peace. We fix our eyes on Jesus, trust that His plan for us is perfect and walk forward being women of truth, women of conviction, women who love, respect and submit to their men, we know that HE, Christ, is our advocate. This is the way things were intended to be by the design of the creator.
You will see this format written all over His word. And now, I want you to know, there is joy found in this. There is peace found in this. There is contentment found in this. There is no such thing as a perfect man. The man who is cuter, nicer and stronger than your husband, the one you imagine when you and your husband are fighting, that man does not exist. The only man who exists if you are married, is your husband. We need to learn, we need to be trained, how to love our husbands and children. SO in the event that you see a man other than your husband who happens to catch you eye, and you are feeling tempted in your minds eyes, (your heart and meditations there of) call upon the Lord for His strength, and then ask the Lord to overwhelm you with love for your husband. Wives, if you do this, you will see the change in yourself, and it's a little surprising at first when you begin to feel the warmth of His love, well up in your heart for your husband and children, that formerly felt completely empty of love. But friends, God can be surprising! He surprises me all the time with what He does, and can do with a heart that is willing to let Him make some changes.
Think about this wives....It's worth your time. Truly. It's the difference of having a semi-bearable marriage verses a marriage that is thriving, growing and just plain fun.
I love my husband, we have had our ups and downs, and trust me, many times early on I thought divorce would be my best friend. But I have to tell you, I am so glad the Lord grabbed a hold of me, lifted my gaze to His, and showed me a better way. It's just what you do when no-one is watching, it's what you pray that no-one but the Father hears...it's in the quiet places that the change happens...but that is how you know the change is for real. He is the reason, the source, and everything in between. Jesus is the difference. Love you sisters in Christ. You know I will pray for you as you read this.