To be honest, I really don't like reading books to my kids. I know it's terrible. But it's not something I have made a great habit of doing. I have had much mommy guilt over this little truth But now my secret is out.
Today, it was a rainy sunday. I wanted to do many things inside. Cleaning projects, organizing, and such....
So I prayed as I often do throughout my day that God would help me to be "productive" and that I would complete the tasks He wanted me to do today.
Turns out, God's to do list for me was different that my to do list for myself.
As a mom, if you are one you'll know, there are many a task that one wakes up with in their minds to accomplish. She (the mother) sets out to do this and that, and keep her little home afloat and her children alive and if she's lucky, she gets a shower. (on a good day)
SO goes the life of a mommy.
But lists seem to grow as the children do, as I recognize that my "me time" slowly is slipping from my grasp as well. And I'd be lying if I said I am not at war with with my responsibilities at times. Today though The Lord (without my knowing it) focused me on what was really important. Today I read books. For a long time. A really long time. :) I put down my broom, (twice) and went into play Barbies. Anyone else every been shocked by how creative their children are?! I was today. They live in a beautiful make-believe world of dress up, and daring knights and fancy dresses. I loved every minute of it. I took lots of pictures.
It was a little bitter sweet because I realize that this type of magic happens every day, and I miss it. I'm not beating myself up, because I realize that meals have to be made, and house has to stay somewhat in order in order for a home to feel peaceful, but I also realized a new truth: I can take a few minutes and play Barbies and make my girls's day. I can turn on the Disney cd, and dance around the room while I clean. I can be the Mother God can empower me to be, if only I ask.
I can enjoy the little magical moments, and it's a gift to enjoy those moments. Today was the kind of day that made me stop and think about how blessed I am. Today was the kind of day that I ended with a sense of real thanksgiving in my heart because of the miracle of life that I get to experience each and every day. I felt the spark today.
It's usually the little moment that I feel too swamped to take that would change the way I feel about the way I parent. When my children feel cared for, and loved, and important they don't nag. Or complain as much. They say things like "your the best mom ever," and "this was the best day ever." I smiled when my five year old daughter grabbed my face in her sweet little hands tonight and said, "today was the best day ever Mom!" She felt the difference, and so did I. I kissed her forehead and said, "Yes it was." because Yes, it was a great day. And because of God, and His amazing grace, every day can be the best day ever. He always takes the time to dance with me. To talk. He's always there. And He is not only my great supplier, He is my example. What HE has, is available to me, and He made that very clear to me as I prayed today, "Lord, help me to be productive." AND praise Jesus that HE told me that today, the laundry and dishes could wait. SO NO. My laundry did not get done. And my dishwasher is finally running, and I think there might still be Ketchup sitting on the table from tonight's dinner, but honestly, I really don't care. Today I felt His hand and His presence as I sat and just enjoyed my wonderful children. So tomorrow as I pray for productivity, I know He will lead me again as He sees fit, but in every productive day, I will also pray for moments. Moments to stop. TO listen and to be. Just to be still, and actually listen to my children's responses. To pay attention. TO give them focus time. TO play barbies or ninjas, or princess, whatever the flavor of the day is. Truly...I have but one life. And with Christ I can live it to the full...His way...His time. I am so thankful for this beautiful day that I almost missed because of my "to-do" list.
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