Where do you go...

I'm sure there are some of my friends who read this that remember the song, "Where do I go?"

Well, for sake of brushing up your memories, let me give you a few lines and see if it hits home at all..

"where do I go when I need a shelter? Where do I go when I need a friend? Where do I go...back on my knees again!"

Last night it hit me, in all of my sickness (pregnancy) I had begun to move inward, rather than towards God. My outlook on life had started to become so dismal, and I was starting to feel as though it was difficult just keeping my head above water...

And I will admit, I have never been sicker in all my life, and I have never been sick this long, but I also recognize one other thing, I have never had the relationship with the Lord that I have today, and I need to ask for Him to rescue me. Maybe not rescue me in the sense that all my sickness goes away so I'm all better right now, (although I am praying for that too!) but rescuing in the sense that He will help me get through my present trial with confidence and grace.

"The times of refreshing shall come from the presence of the Lord..." Acts 3:19

My eyes fell on that verse as I was writing some things on my calender last night, and it hit me, I had not really been in the word as much as I had before I got sick, and it also hit me that although I was in pain in a difference sense, the last trial I was in I DID run to the word and I WAS refreshed. So, I decided to do what I had forgotten to do before, and that was run to the word. With my Bible in hand, I ran to my room, got my glass of ginger ale and jumped into bed knowing, just knowing He would meet me there.

I read some Psalms, which always proves encouraging to me, mainly because I love the fact that David, a man after God's own heart had such struggles that I could identify with. And when God responds to Him, the responses always fit my pains as well. Perhaps that's why this book is in the Bible...

Then I headed to Mark...I'm reading through the gospels on my own and there is nothing more beautiful that the very words of Jesus. When I see red words in my Bible, I cannot help but skip ahead and read because His words are as balm to my soul, and refreshment to my heart.

Friends, I did go to bed still feeling sick, but I awoke refreshed. I felt a skip in my heart as I pulled myself from bed, sensing the nausea had lifted some, whether or not it really had or it was just the spiritual refreshment I had received from the night before, I'm not quite sure, but regardless, I felt better!!!

SO, I followed suit to my practices last night and ran again to my open Bible sitting on the table and searched for His words to my soul...

You see my big question throughout this whole process of being so sick, has been this: Why do some women just get a mild case of heartburn, while others (like me) feel as though they would like to die( I know it's a bit dramatic) :)

And then I read these verses in John 21:18-23 and it gave some light to my predicament. Turns out, my attitude, and my questioning might be the real sickness.

Peter, has just received some grave news from Jesus as He prophesies about how Peter was going to die. A sad word and reality for Peter. But in this moment the way he responds I SO identified with, Peter turns, points to John, the other disciple, and basically asks the Lord, "OK, so what's Johns fate?"

Jesus says this in reply:

"If I want Him to remain alive until I return, what is that to you? You must follow me!" John 21:22

I'm starting to catch the drift. Are you? It wasn't a fun realization, but it's the truth, and it really is the truth that sets us free. I do not have to be depressed. I can be sick and still be trusting in Him. Now, I know I am not going to be able to keep a perfect attitude throughout this time, but my faith in Christ shall not dim, and my trust in His timing (as always) is going to lead me where I need to be, when I need to be there. And in the meantime, He will sustain me. Now isn't that encouraging?

What started out a simple tune of "where do I go?" being hum in my head, ended as a very valuable lesson in my faith. He is where I need to turn. And Friends, He is where you need to turn to as well.

What is your sickness? Is it medical bills? Is it illness? Is it your marriage? You fill in the blank...and know that regardless, God is the answer and it's when we turn to Him that we feel refreshed. I've been praying for this very thing I'm writing on for myself, and I know now without a doubt that He has just answered me. And Isn't that amazing? TO see the hand of God answer prayers???!!! Those answers are there when we search in the right places...

SO where do you go? Where will you go? Go to Him, He is waiting there, ready to refresh your soul. OH how I love My GOD!!!!