The Things That Really Matter

This time of sickness in my life, has caused me to think about what really matters in life...for fear of sounding quite depressed, :) let me preface this by saying, I was never one to think on matters that "mattered" because I always wanted to live life in such a way that brought the most enjoyment to me, and happiness to my own life. Now, I know this is common thought among the human race in general...we want to have a "good life.." but what defines "good" and who decided that must always be "perfect"? We did. We wrote our own list in our minds at some point that said.."This is what a good life means to me." And so we go on doing our best to follow that plan....our plan.
That has been me, and I have been battling with myself over this list for the past 5 months of being so sick. The sickness, has stopped me in my tracks, and for a while my days were this:
Wake up sick, feel miserable about my predicament, cry out to God..make it through the day, and do my best to sleep at night. Only to wake up and do that again. I made the comment several times to my husband, "each day is painfully the same.." I put my head down, barreled through and looked neither to the left or to the right, only putting my focus ahead on getting through and surviving. Perhaps some of you have felt this way in the past, or are currently there now. I want to encourage you by some thoughts I have had, by some scriptures I have been given, and by the words the Lord has written on my heart, to give me hope.
First of all, realizing that my plans can change, and joy can be found in others routines, and other places...even if it looks totally different than how I imagined. "That's too serious for me, and I don't want to go there..." is a thought that commonly crossed my mind when I thought of a life lived the way I presenting to you. I don't want to think about things that hard to think about, and imagine that not all of my "dreams" will come true the way I imagine that they would...but friends, I am here to tell you...it is not about our circumstances. It's about where our hearts are when we are in those places. Do you get what I'm getting at here? Let me explain further because it has taken me quite a process to figure this one out.
When I imagine a "good day" I imagine it with lots of fun involved...peace for me, peace for my family...and genral good health and welling being. Sometimes...it just isn't so..and yet..as I read today, a testimony of a man who basically dying from a disease that has been apart of his life for most of his life; he said this.."I win either way. If I am healed, I have more time with the people I love, if I am not, I get to go be with Jesus..." FRIENDS!!!! DO you think like this??! How is that possible you say?? Well...when our hope is in Christ, and our joy is not based on our circumstances, that is how it's possible. This is not a scenario of pull yourself up by your bootstraps because you must...this is a conquering in the face of fear, and triumphing in the face of death because your hope is in one who is bigger than all of that. That is huge. That is monumental...and it makes me focus less on the trivial things of today, and more on the things that matter for eternity. My daily impatience with people...circumstances, and emotions diminishes greatly when I consider that unsurprising glory of the life ahead. I am not trying to be dismal..and I trying to talk about the things that all of us want to avoid because it's not "fun."
God created all the things that give us pleasure in life, and we are to take part in those of course! However, they are not be worshiped, and by worshiped I mean, they are not to be what we live our lives for. And I will speak for myself when I say, I have most definitely worshiped some things other than God in my life based off of that definition.

“Even when the way goes through Death Valley, I’m not afraid when you walk at my side. Your trusty shepherd’s crook makes me feel secure.” (MSG) We read in Psalm 46:1-2, “God is a safe place to hide, ready to help when we need him. We stand fearless at the cliff-edge of doom, courageous in sea storm and earthquake.” One of my favorite verses in the Bible comforts me, “Don’t panic. I’m with you. There’s no need to fear for I’m your God.” (Isaiah 41:10). Finally God reminds me that He is watching closely over me at all times. “Don’t be afraid, I've redeemed you. I’ve called your name. You’re mine.” (Isaiah 43:1). -Verses from Kent Humphrey's testimony..(the man I spoke of earlier)

It's not that we don't fear death some, or feel agony with pain...for we do, and Christ did, and therefore, we know it's normal...but friends, our perspective must change if we are to live a life in the lane of Christ rather than in our own "fast lane."
I just can't believe all the time I've wasted on things that do not matter. Things that have no eternal purpose, and if these thoughts challenge you, or repulse you even, know that your normal..and these thoughts repulsed me too before my sickness. When one is healthy, it's easy to forget about what really matters..why we are here..and who we are made for. We are here for His purposes...made for His purposes...and remembering all the while, His great, deep, awesome love for us...a love that conquers all fears...and overshadows anything that may feel "more important" than He.
So I ask you, even if you have never dealt with pain as I have spoke of in this man's life...may it be a challenge to you...have you considered your life, looked at your "plans" and asked the Lord if they line up with His? If you have not, as I had not for so many years, now may be the time to do so. And if you know anything of His love, His peace, His grace and His sufficiency to meet all your needs...this will not be painful as you think it may be, for when we are in line with Christ and His plans for us, the pain we used to be so afraid of, pales in comparison to the amazing peace and love of Christ. Things to think on, things to consider, and things to lay at the foot of the cross...and as always, I am only learning, and inviting you all to learn along with me.