Forgiving another person is freedom. And in order to forgive someone you have to be able say, "I'm not going to go there in my thoughts any more." That is why forgiving in so freeing. It literally free's up space in your mind...and thoughts. It creates new space for better thinking.
Usually when we hold onto an attitude of un-forgiveness which is really just another word for bitterness...it's because we have been wronged. Someone, somewhere did something to us to hurt us or cause us pain. And under no circumstances are we going to go down without a fight. Anyone relate to those feelings? I know I can. We say in our hearts, "You hurt me, and you will pay." We are this way by our sinful selves, and our sinful thoughts and attitudes heap more pain onto an already wounded heart. Before we know it we are consumed with anger, frustration and yes, bitterness towards the guilty party who wronged us. I didn't even mention yet if this guilty party is aware that they did anything wrong. That is the other side of this coin, most often when these situations arise in our lives, the person wronged is doing all the festering and the other party has no idea how badly they hurt another. This is how conflict arises, families, friendships and churches are torn apart (just to name a few) and all in the name of, "it's my right to be mad." No one wants to lay down the pain they have a right too. What if I told you, I have no rights? What if I told you, no-one owes me anything? What if I told you, that it's not your fault? Well, i am going to tell you those things. That is what God is telling me. He said this to me, "I'ts not about what you've done, but rather darling, what's been done for you." He died. That's what was done. So what could someone possibly do to me that would be so bad that I would have to stay so mad and bitter towards them, when while I was YET in sin, Christ died for me. What about those right's I talked about? I'm called to love. Lay down my life in love for my friends, (give up my rights over theirs) Die to self. Die to my rights, my way, and my desires. Selfless.
How's that for a nice wardrobe of heart attitudes to put on? I will have to do some serious "putting off " of old attitudes if I'm going to make room for these new ones.
But it's putting off that I'd better make time for...if I want to be healthy. If I want to be whole. If I want to thrive, and be well in Christ. I cannot walk around with pain from past built up bitterness, resulting from unforgivness. It's time to move on. It's time to say enough to my selfish thoughts, attitudes and behavior. No more. I'ts time to forgive.
Who it was that wronged us matters not, what matters is that we hand that person over to Jesus and say,
"I can't hold onto this anymore." "This person is yours to deal with, they are not my problem. They are not even a problem at all, they are your child. You train them, and I surrender any feelings I had towards that person, to you, Lord."
Easier said that done right? But forgiveness IS freedom. It creates freedom. It smells of Freedom. And the only person unforgiveness really hurts is YOU. It makes you lug around that ugly, black and horribly smelling bag around with you wherever you go. It's the, "I can't believe what they did" Tote bag. It's the "I can't believe what she said" purse, and trust me, those bags are HEAVY. And eventually your little heart will just freeze up all together because it cannot take the pressure anymore.
Sometimes, the person we need to forgive lives in our home with us. Their share our food with us. And sometimes the person we need to forgive is ourselves. The person you used to be. The person who used to live in your body. The person that didn't know they had an issue, but once realized they did, moved on physically, and maybe even somewhat spiritually, but NOT emotionally. Forgiving oneself from past mistakes is crucial...once you have repented in all ways necessary, it's it healthy then to ask the Lord to help us forgive ourselves.
We do not forgive naturally. But over time, and with much practice we will begin to do this with more ease. It's not just a motion we go through, our hearts have to match our feet. They must be in step, and the only way any of this is even remotely possibly is through the power of Christ. He alone has the power to move us to a place of forgiveness. He wrote the book on forgiveness (literally) and He has the power to help us apply that book's wisdom to our every breath.
I am on a journey. No, I have not arrived...I probably won't until I reach heaven, BUT, He is working on me, and this is just yet another chapter in the story of my life, and I figured that you may be encouraged by my life lessons as well.
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