Intentional

Do you know how hard it is to be intentional? I mean really!! Being intentional is really difficult. Being intentional means you are being proactive instead of reactive. Intentional means you are doing premeditated preparation. In the biblical world this means you are praying, studying and preparing your heart to do whatever it is you are set out to be intentional about. In my case, I am doing "intentional parenting." I am being intentional with each of my children, anticipating their felt needs, and then meeting them in a way that makes them feel safe, loved, respected and doing it all with a heart of sincerity instead of a heart of manipulation in order to get what I want out of the situation. Does that sound exasperating? Well, I will admit, I go to bed more tired that I ever have before, BUT the good news is is that I have the power of the Lord on my side, the guidance of the Holy Spirit, and the forgiveness of Jesus for when I know I fall short. He meets me in the gap, and helps me across the great divide. Because guess what? HE is intentional with me. HE is my example. People always say it's unfair when Jesus is used as the standard, map or game plan, but quite honestly, who else would we rather look like? He has everything I'd ever hope to have, and He looks like the very best version I'd ever see...so if I was totally honest with you, He is the only one I really care to copy. Why not take the time to learn how He was with His "children" and go from there? SO that is where I am starting. He was an intentional leader. He took time even when no time seemed to exist to spend quality, intimate time with His "kids" and He did it with a heart of sincerity. As I said, He is all I could ever hope to be.
What sparked my desire to be intentional? The reality that coasting through parenting is just not good enough. I realized if I am going to set my kids of with the foundation that will last a lifetime, I cannot expect to build that foundation for and with them with half-hearted effort. I cannot give my kids all they need in 20 mintues a day. I cannot, meet their love needs when I am unhealthy. So my first line of action is to feed myself the "food" I need to feed to them ultimately. I cannot hand out encouragement when I am discouraged. So the first place I stop is the bus stop of my marriage. If my marriage is in shambles, I cannot expect to have much to give to my kids. Asking the Lord to work on my marriage was a great place to start, as He is doing His thing there, (which can sometimes be painful because in entails Him extracting some of my bad habits, and usually extraction of any kind is somewhat painful.) But after He has begun His work there, I know I am now in better shape to minister to my children. My relationship with my husband is really important in relation to my health for ministering and training my kids. I am not saying it is impossible for a mother to do this without a thriving relationship with her husband, it is just much more difficult. So mothers with unbelieving husbands, do not despair, Christ is your husband as well as your Father, and He will stand in that divide for you.
Think about the times we do things with just half of our capability...we know it don't we? I know I do. If i just halfway run a 5k, at the end of it, I still have some juice left in me so to speak, then I know I wasn't running to my full potential. But when I run out hard core, open it up all the way, full throttle, empowered by Christ, Fueled with the passion that He has given me to run, guess how much better I feel at the end?  Much.
The reality though is that parenting is not a sprint. It's more like an ultra marathon, and that my friends, is why I need to be intentional. I cannot expect to be consistent with my children day in and day out, if I just drink 10 sips of Gatorade. Staying in the context of running, I would pass out if I only had short term hydration. But, if instead I fuel myself with a water bottle in each hand, and one on my hip, chances are, I'll stay hydrated to run the full distance, if I can take the time to take sips of water every mile or so, I will finish much stronger.
In the past, I went out on the road of parenting, with great expectations, I had all the right gear on, but I hadn't done any of the preparation. Someone once said to me, "being a parent is more than just giving birth." And friends, they couldn't have been more right on. I will admit, just in case any of you think I seem to know a lot, know this: I just cracked my first real parenting book 2 months ago. Real parenting take preparation. Knowing my children's  in's and out's. The things that make them get frustrated, makes them tick, and what causes them to get upset. All those things are really key in the dream of us having a day that ends in peace rather than screaming and frustration. The main key point I have realized in my preparation is this: I have to be so filled with Jesus that I feel how He feels about my kids. Meaning, I have to love them regardless. My love cannot be conditional, and above all else, under no circumstances can I let my emotions get in the way of how I treat them when they are mad. Easier said than done right. Oh yes. But by the grace of God the more tap into His all sufficient power that exceeds all human effort or understanding, we can situation by situation begin to parent in a way that reflects His divine authority. No one wants to follow an evil dictator Father, NO, we want a servant leader. One who will get in and get their hands dirty. Am I willing to go and help my son pick up those 400 Lego's on his floor? Or am I ordering Him in all my self-driven authority to clean up his mess? There are times children need to do things on their own, but I remind myself that I serve a God who literally took my mess to the cross, and cleaned it all up for me. If only I recognize my need for the help. No mother or father is perfect. Not on this side of heaven anyways...but what I do know is the Jesus is perfect, and He made a way for me not just in death, but in life. He wants me to tap into the very best life source right now...and that source is Jesus. He is the only way I will conquer, or excel in any avenue of life, parenting including. I want the best for my kids because He gave me His best. I don't want well behaved kids so that when we are out people can say, "wow, what nice kids you have..." Rather I want well behaved kids because well behaved kids reflect an inner spirit that serves their King. I want them to have a good platform to build their life on, not financially, rather I want them secure in love, and filled with knowledge of where love began. Love began when a life was literally laid down. I lay my life down, my selfish desires and my wants, knowing He knows what I need. And He will meet my needs. He is the ultimate, perfect Father. He is my example, and I am thankful. Intentional life is possible through Jesus.