In a perfect world I'd always do just what was right. I'd never feel guilt over doing the wrong thing, but in the perfect world I wouldn't feel the excitement that comes when you have learned a new lesson, and now it's time to grow.
I love (and hate) when I go through something challenging that causes me to look my folly in the face, but turn around and arise with a renewed sense of joy over who I am becoming in Christ.
The main truth that I "post it note" to my face could read, "Work in Progress."
Not, "I've arrived." Or, "Got this figured out.." Or "Hi, my name is perfect." Contrary to what I would like to believe about myself, I DO NOT have life with Christ figured out.
Often God shakes my world, and causes me to place my eyes on Him when I get confident. I don't know if I'd say I was getting "overly confident" but I was getting comfortable. That's when God shakes me, wakes me and my passion is renewed. You know how when the fire is poked, the flames rise up again? So it is with our faith. We we are forced to examine old truths with new perspectives, or fresh eyes. When we are challenged in what we think we are "so firm" in, and find out, there is still shaky ground yet to be dealt with.
God knows my weaknesses, and it's His job to help me see them too.
I am so thankful for a God who is unwilling to let me settle in to "good enough." God is not OK with good enough. God wants my best. God wants my full attention, and quite frankly, my attention was every-which-way and God used some things to open my eyes up to this.
It should not, but always does amaze me when I realize I've drifted.. Drifting is so subtle. It does not happen over night, but little by little, it happens.
God asked me lay down some media things I loved, but had taken a front seat in the fight for my time, and so in line with what He desires for me, I lay down whatever gets in the way of God and I.
I had to be put down a couple of passions for a while, (not that I didn't fight on it a little bit) but ultimately God showed me that HE was in control, and sovereign over my circumstances. Since then He has handed me back a couple of the things I needed to lay down, and of course, it's better than it was before I had to lay them down.
I am learning each moment to trust my Lord and King more and more. I must trust, or I will flounder. For as soon as I take my eyes off of my leader, my steps begin to wander my own way. There is no doubt in my mind why God called us "sheep." It wasn't demoting, it was truth. Sheep without a Shepherd are lost to their own demise, getting stuck in rocks, falling into pits, and even falling on our own backs unable to rectify ourselves. We lay there in our own struggle, frantic and trying to help ourselves, but to until we start bleating for help, we do not see any relief.
Sometimes we need to admit our weaknesses before we can accept recovery. Sometimes, we need to admit weakness, before we go grow stronger.
I am getting really good at admitting my weakness. Trying not to admit my weakness, is like trying to live life holding my breath, one can only assume how long I would live. One thing I love most about God, (and there is a lot to love) is that He is so very patient with me. He never uses big blows that knock me off my feet to get my attention. Rather, He quietly whispers, gently prods, and refocuses my eyes towards His, sometimes He allows me to feel the strain in my heart that makes me take notice and the result of this approach is a heart that wants to respond.
God is not an evil dictator with me! He doesn't scream and yell my folly at me. Rather, He gentle in dealing with my sin, and before I know it, I am running back into His arms of love because I cannot find "that kind of love" anywhere else.
So what now?
Here is the really super exciting part, and I love it when I get so excited about what He is doing, (this is not human excitement, but Holy Spirit granted excitement which is something every believer can pray for!) It's fun to think about what HE might have me do today, FOR Him, WITH Him. Why is this so exciting to me? Because I get to see HIM work. Seeing His work increases my faith, and it causes me to have fulfillment in His type of way.
I'm never satisfied when I chase after my own ambition. Unfortunately I frequently forget this, and I begin to chase after my own ego, and my own plans too often. But when HE places my feet back on HIS road, I am excited about the renewed sense of satisfaction and contentment I feel. Truly, nothing about my life's circumstances has changed, accept that God has the reigns again. And that my friends, is what makes the all difference.
You can be sitting in a million dollar lake home, eating the finest foods and enjoying all that LIFE has to offer, but STILL be discontent. You could literally have all your human heart desires, and STILL be unsatisfied. Why is this? It's sounds crazy! But that is why when a billionaire was asked, "How much is enough?" He wisely responded, "just a little bit more."
Truly, with Christ, He is always enough. And my heart longs for nothing more than what He has to offer, and what He has to offer, is all I need.
It's by the grace of God I desire Him. SO that no man could ever boast. Only God can place within me the desire to want Him, but often I pray that He will keep my eyes fixed on Him.
I suppose this was His answer to me. And at times, it's hard, and I feel frustrated at how slow I learn, but HE is not frustrated with me. Rather, my patient, faithful, sovereign, all powerful God, causes me to long for Him with such a longing that all things I so desperately wanted and chased after, fall to the wayside.
I am excited for His plans. For life with God is an adventure. And adventure (new things) is something I think all people everywhere can agree is what they want to.
Who wants the "old" when they can have the "new."
"See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland." Isaiah 43:19
What a life to live. What a God to serve. What a story we will tell on our final days. And then off to eternity with Christ I will go. It's not a perfect story, but the ending sure is.
Just think, each day is a day to start anew. Why not today? Why not.
See? HE is doing a NEW THING! Thank you Jesus.
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