A Fruitful Vine (wives)

Psalms talks about how a man who serves the Lord and walks in obedience receives a reward. One of those rewards mentioned is a wife who is like a "fruitful vine."
Call me old fashioned but wives, have you considered yourselves to be a "reward" to your husband, and are our lives comparable to a "fruitful vine" as we work in our homes and with our children?
Are our husbands blessed by us when they walk through the door, or are we more of a curse than a blessing.
Many days I may just as well fall into the curse category. (unfortunately) I'm all worn out from my long day, and I am not particularly interested in how I can "be a blessing" to my husband.
After all, I worked just as hard as him I say to myself. Issue Number 1 with this starts here! It's in my thinking. I'm feeling overwhelmed, I'm feeling exhausted by my endless list of "to do's" and I'm also feeling a little sorry for myself, after I all I tell myself, "my husband didn't have to do his job with a two year old screaming bloody murder all day." Depending on how mad I am I add a "fricken" in between bloody, and murder. (now you see the flaw?)
It's not a battle of who worked harder.
Here is where I find my road that starts to bring some clarity to my situation. Of course it starts with Jesus. It always does.
I realize I have been many things unpleasant which of course calls me to be thankful for "no condemnation" spoken of in Romans 8.
The next thing I focus on is this: Am I doing things God's way? Am I running my home, and raising my children the way God is leading me to? Or am I running around like a chicken with my head cut off trying to frantically do all that has piled up on my "mommy do" list?
God never gives me more than I can handle. He says so in His word. So why do I feel squished by my life's long list of "must get done.." (now)
Perhaps it's me, perhaps I'm the problem. (what a thought huh?) Just maybe I am placing too much on myself, and then feeling guilty when it's not accomplished, and then scooping an extra heaping spoonful of condemnation on my plate after it's all said and (not) done.
I squish myself with my own expectations!
So now what?
Of course, my answers begin with Jesus, and end with Him.
I must rely on Him. And literally pray through my list, and see if it's lining up with His will for me. He may very well want me to scrub my bathroom grout with a toothbrush, organize the basement and clean all the kids's rooms, but I better not dare to start any of those tasks without His strength.
Otherwise my strength is gone before I've even begun. And then, the part about where my husband comes home to a "fruitful vine" simply gets tossed out the window.
How can I be fruitful in my home, and not fatigued to the point of collapsing by 8pm? I start my day differently for starters. I begin, by being with Jesus. Spending time in His word, focusing on all that HE has in store for me helps me to gain focus. Then I give Him my desired "to do's" and wait for the peace to show up! As I'm doing my own list, on my own clock and in my own strength, my peace in pretty much non-existent. But through careful watchfulness, I see His hands pointing me in the directions He wants me to take for that day, and once I get His blessing to carry on, I do so!
Obviously there are certain tasks that are non-negotiable, I have to feed my family, making meals and such, also, my family needs clothes to wear, so the laundry must be done, my kids need clean clothes for school and my husbands shirts need to be dry and ready for him, but God will lead me when the best time is to do even these things! Should I make dinner ahead of time? And how much time do I have, so I even pray about WHAT to make! Yes! Everything I do is prayerful, and in that I find my peace. God may want me to sit with my children and play tea set with them instead of scrubbing the floor! He may prompt a spiritual and life-changing conversation with one of my children if I am resting with them on the couch, that I would have otherwise missed if I was out doing something else! The wonderful thing is that I never have to wonder, I need only ASK Him and He will supply me with the understanding and strength to be ALL He desires me to be for Him, for His glory, for His purpose and Kingdom! And as a mother and wife, my very first priority outside of Jesus is serving and ministering to my family.
As I began my week, I was more like a dead bush that fruitful vine, but as I poured out my heart the Lord, realizing I was feeling dry and dead, He breathed His life into me, and green leaves begin to grow as He waters me with His truth and love.
Joy sprouts little buds and peace digs deep roots, and when my husband opens the door tonight my prayer is that instead of a dead plant of a wife, He will find a blossoming fruitful vine, a wife that truly is a blessing to him!