Bigger than that..

What is the one thought, that when it comes to mind, you instantly push it out of your thoughts simply because it seems too big to conquer? The idea that stops you in your tracks, makes you weep and causes your heart to faint? That is the thing that God is bigger than.

The one thing that feels so big to carry, to huge too consider and too overwhelming to think on...that is what God can fix.

There is one thing in my life that feels just that big. And I of course respond as any normal human would, and first I freak out, then I cry, and then I remember...oh yes, it's not about me.

God has given me in my life, what God knows I can handle. God has given me what God knows will best suit me and my family for my stint of years on this earth.

God has given me exactly what God knows will do the work for the kingdom that I WAS CREATED to do. Oh yes...it's not about me.

So as I consider my "much to big" problem today, I am tempted to falter. Tempted to freak out. Tempted to cry out "Why GOD?????!" but I won't. I simply refuse. Why? Because I know this God I serve is bigger than this. AND...He is doing what best for me. Do I believe that?

Some days, I do. Some days, I forget that..oh yes, it's not about me.

My serving Him...is not about me. It's about bringing Him GLORY.

My ministry in His name is not about me. It's about doing what I was created to do..FOR HIS GLORY.

My life, my very life...the things I do each day, the things I live for, the people I live for, those also are not about me. They are gifts given to me in my life here on earth, and I am to treat them with the love and the respect that God would. Why? You got it...FOR HIS GLORY.

So the question I've been asking myself today is this: would I serve God if I knew He would never bless me? If it was only for the serving Him? If selfish motives were not involved? How would I serve Him then? Would I love Him with devotion? Would I give as I am trying to give right now? Convicting thoughts I'm having here today.

It's like how we operate in a marriage..you know, I give, then you give? Right? WRONG. In a perfect would both sides give evenly. And in a godly marriage you do this because you know it's honoring to the Father and to your spouse to do so...but what if you never received back what you gave? Should you then not have to give? NO. You give regardless.

What I am trying to convey here is this: God does bless us, and that is a gift. But..do we serve Him simply in hope of receiving His blessings, or do we serve Him truly because it's our deepest hearts desire to serve Him? I'm sure you can sense my answer...and why I'm so convicted by these thoughts...

Many days...I know I fall much shorter of this that I would like. Thank you Father for your Grace!

God does not operate on a barter system.. I cannot say to Him, Lord, "If I do this for you, will you give me this in return?" No. My goal for life should be this: To serve Him...knowing He will give me what is best for me, and praise Him in the joy of those gifts...and when I want something different than what He has given me, I should ask Him for the strength to accept what He has given me, and lean into the difficulty to grow.

That's that goal. A lofty one, but still, a goal.

So as I look at my "too big for me" problem at hand I place it at the foot of the cross and I say.."Oh yes..it's not about me."