Complete Abandonment

What does it mean to you when I say abandonment? For some it probably does not bring good thoughts to mind. I get that. To BE abandoned...is awful. BUT to abandon yourself to something or someone is a totally different thing all together.

In the study of the book of Isaiah that I am doing I found this verse where it speaks of how Isaiah COMPLETELY ABANDONS HIMSELF TO DEPENDENCE ON GOD. And I CAPPED those words so they would stand out among the rest, as they did for me. It was like red letters jumping off a page at me and screaming my name. Abandon myself. I want that....I think that this is the only way to live...now that I've come this far.

You see in the Christian walk, we like to first acknowledge that it does in fact make sense to follow a God. SO we do this. We start maybe attending a church or a Bible study for this is what you are told to do. We learn some, we read some, we pray some...and honestly...it's there in that place that I lived for 20 years. That's a long time to live in the same place. Especially spiritually the same. No real movement, no real progress, growth, or excitement for what I was learning, reading, or praying.

As I have spoke of before, one day, the Lord grabbed my heart, and through a series of events, I began to slowly abandon myself more and more to the cross...to His grace...to His plans.

With each passing week and I dive myself deeper into the word through the study of Isaiah I learn new things about God, and in turn, new things about myself that need to change. One cannot look into the mirror of Christ, see their own reflection, and say, "yep, that looks good." No...when one looks at themselves most honestly in the mirror of the truth of Christ, we realize once again, over and over that we are a work in progress, who is in DESPERATE need of the cross. We are saved, true, but the refining? Well that takes a lifetime. But that is what is so BEAUTIFUL about the God we serve... He never stops making us better! He never stops adding those finishing touches to our beautiful Godly reflection...and I for one, am thankful. Because it means that if I continue on this path of abandonment of self then I will one day, each day, look a little bit more like the one I was created to copy. I love that.

It isn't easy...and it doesn't always feel good, but there is a huge difference in feeling good, and knowing that there is good being done IN YOU. ( by no doings of your own..) SO why oh why you ask would anyone subject themselves to constant refinement? For in complete abandonment there is freedom. Freedom to know that you have joy in Christ, peace in Christ, a new name in Christ, no more sorrow in your eternal home, no more searching, wandering, feelings of discontent, being lost, being alone, being afraid....

There is a popular song out right now that has lyrics that go like this: " So I'll stand, with hands high and heart abandoned, in awe of the ONE WHO GAVE IT ALL...I'll stand my soul Lord to you surrendered all I have IS YOURS..."

IN those lyrics you will hear the real reason we can abandon ourselves without fear to this God, because, for me, He gave it all... ( and for you).

SO in my times of fearing what might be around the corner for me that could possibly refine me further, I know, and I trust, the I serve a God who cares for me best, and first did what was best for me, by dying on the cross. That alone, gives me peace in knowing that no-one who gives their "life" up for someone else would then turn around and do something to harm the one they just saved. So as I write this, I realize the only place in my life that I will ever be fully filled, fully peaceful, fully joyful, fully content, is in the place of abandonment to the one who gave it all for me. I rest in that truth today.