I'm giving myself a pep talk today. There are lots of things on my mind, most of them not really holding that great of importance in the broad scheme of things, but for some reason, important enough to burden me. I realize there are so many things in life that could be worse, and what I face today pales in comparison to what another soul may be facing.
It's not as though I am slipping into a hole of blackness, or I feel as though my life is over, but honestly, I feel the weight of this sinful world and it's heavy. There are some days where I simply sit back and say "Come Lord Jesus come." And today, is one of those days.
Humans have so many emotions, feelings and misleading thoughts. We are not perfect, and our world is not perfect. Therefore, why do I expect my life to feel "perfect" all the time. I know how a good day feels, and I know how a bad day feels, and yet, I flounder every time I feel the "bad day" emotions hit me. God is not a God who disappears or checks out for a while, so on my bad days, if I feel distant from Him, I need to consider that I am possibly relying on self, thinking of self too much and spending too much time focused on things that do not matter. Things that are temporary, fleeting, and not really important. I think I may have figured out my greatest issues friends...thoughts too focused on self, lead to selfish feelings, selfish actions and selfish emotions. Thoughts centered on Christ only can lead to good things. This world is full of self. And I am by nature a selfish person. SO, when I live in self, focus on self and live FOR self, go figure that I'd start to feel down. Self fails. Self is ugly. Self is not perfect. Self is not uplifting. God is perfect, God is encouraging. God offers good things. God is pure. I need to turn from self, and look full into His wonderful face. (watching the things of earth grow strangely dim in the light of His glory and grace.)
It's difficult to turn away from our own emotions, our own feelings and desires. It's what seems so important! But in reality, it's not. The job that God has given me in caring for my family and raising my children is worth every second I spend. Every second I spend is another opportunity to give Him praise, to offer Him glory and to invest in something that matters. (my children's lively hood, salvation and well-being) I am suddenly feeling more lifted.
" He upholds the cause of the oppressed and gives FOOD TO THE HUNGRY, The Lord sets prisoners free, and gives sight to the blind, the Lord lifts THOSE WHO ARE BOWED DOWN and the Lord loves the righteous. He watches over the alien, sustains the fatherless, and the widow." Psalm 146: 7,8
Why oh why does it take a day of drowning in self to finally lay down selfish feelings long enough to look into His loving eyes? Eyes that look at me and say, "I am your solution in a dry and weary land?" You know, all other solutions fail? Coffee (although wonderful) gets old. Running, (although delightfully exhilarating) must end. Vacation, (although needed) ends. Date nights (although amazing) do not make life worth living in the end. What matters most? HIM!!! What holds us together? JESUS. What fills us up more than any treat, food or pleasure? CHRIST. I pray you hear my passion. If you are feeling as I was earlier today, let me encourage you friends...get your eyes off of yourself, your circumstances and what is going wrong in your life and start looking into the wonderful eyes of Jesus. And watch, and see and I am seeing right now, the things of THIS world...grow strangely dim. This is me, starting over today. I pretending it's a new dawn right now. And this is my new beginning.
Thank you Lord Jesus for new beginnings. That we can start over any time we ask you to clean our slate. With my slate clean, and my heart rejoicing I go forward in my day with joy in my heart and lightness in my step knowing you paid it all so that I can live free of this life's burdens that long to ensnare me, bog me down and keep me in chains. You have set me free and I will be free indeed. Amen.
No comments:
Post a Comment