People- NOT interuptions.

So, I've always been a self-proclaimed "selfish with my time" sort of person. I've never really seen a problem with that. I mean, who could blame me? I have three kids 4 and under, I stay at home and am lucky if I get a shower in between the time it takes to cook, clean, and care for my family. SO who would blame me for being selfish with the "few minutes I get to myself" each day. You can almost here my self righteousness....

And that's the problem. You see, if someone where to call, text, stop by or wake up during my "ME" time, watch out. Ugliness would rear her hideous head and bite. It's as if you could hear her say, " This is MY time. Don't take that from me! me, me, me. Mine. mine. mine." Yeah, I sound like I'm 2 in my head. And that'd be a pretty fair assessment. In the past, if someone would knock on my door during nap time, I'd rage inside, and either be rude when I answered the door, or not answer the door at all. If someone would call during nap time, I'd screen my calls, and hit ignore. But God has been speaking to me, and through our pastors sermon today I was again reminded of the very reason I am here on earth is to minister to others, regardless of the time they come a'knocking on my door. The same was true for my kids. I find myself getting very annoyed if the kids wake up early from their naps, or earlier than I want them to in the morning, or heaven forbid that they don't nap at all. My day could be ruined by this because lets face it, " I didn't get my "me" time". I hate saying that out-loud because it really sounds so terrible, but it's true, and saying it out loud makes me think about it. And again I tell myself, this life, is not-about-me. I'll say it again, THIS LIFE, IS NOT ABOUT ME. I might have to repeat that to myself some more, but I'll move on for right now. Why is it so important that I answer when people knock, awake, or call? Because God has put me on this earth to minister to others, and if someone comes to me with a need, and I say, "I'm busy..." what does that say in regards to my devotion to my ministry for that which I was created? It says that at the core of, I think that I am more important. That MY needs are more important to meet, that theirs. And in that, is selfishness at it's best. My needs. Not theirs. My desires. Not theirs. Me. Not them. Get it? good. "SO, you say, it's bad for any single person to have a personal need?" No. Of course not. God knows I have needs. In fact, He knows how many hairs I've got on my head. He knows my thoughts, my deep felt feelings, and my desires for rest. Do you know that He alone will lead my beside still waters, waters that will restore my SOUL? My soul cannot be restored by my own personal attempts at rest/relaxation. What is it that we are all so long for? A break! We all want a break from all of it! All of life's struggles. All of life's burden that seem to heavy to carry. SO, in our desperate attempts to fix our problems with human solutions, we do our best to rest, to escape, to find peace...at whatever cost. Even if we have to turn down the opportunity to encourage another soul, we'll do it, because MAN, we need a break. Sound familiar? I'm so sad to say, that yes, this does sound all to familiar to me. These are my thoughts my friends. And I want that to change. God will fill me! God will restore my soul! God will refresh me! In fact, He will do these things, better than I could ever dream of on my own. If only, I say, THEM FIRST GOD. YOU first God. Me last. And then my friends, the last shall be first, (in a way) and He will meet our needs. He will be faithful even when we are not, but what a reward to hear Him say, " Well DONE good and FAITHFUL servant..." And why will He call us faithful? Because we said YES when our flesh wanted to say NO. When we say YES in HIS strength, and watch as He take ordinary life "interruptions" and turns them into "God-designed appointments."

SO that's what I am striving to see when I hear the knock, receive the call, or hear the child that threatens to take away my "me" time. I know God will test me on this, and make me put my money where my mouth is, because He only desires to make me look more like HIM. And I'm OK with that. I want that. Because it will not be in MY strength that I do this. It will be in His. And in doing so, I realize that I WILL GET TO BE apart of a bigger plan, something BIGGER than me. Something BETTER than MY time. Something worth doing. Something that matters. And what matters most to God? His children. Their needs. His plan. His designs coming through to lead all those in the world to salvation. And how is He going to do this? Through His faithful servants. YOU. Me. Them.