Have you ever been in that place where you feel like you might have been left to drown? Where you were going along your merry way, loving the Lord, living your life the way that you thought would honor God, and all of sudden, when you were out for what you thought was a joy swim, you are now struggling for you life? I have. I've been in just such a place at least a couple of times in my life, and I'm not saying this to cause you to cry for me, I don't want that...what I want is to explain to you why we sometimes find ourselves here...
I know I don't have all the answers, but I have learned from my "near-drowning" experiences, and let me tell you my take away...
We know, God does not take us out to a place simply to drown...but there are lessons to be learned in that deep, dark, cold water. When all is well, and all is calm, we are able to walk around in our life without much struggle, without a real need for dependence on Him...don't be deceived that I am trying to simply say we struggle so that we will depend on Him more, for that is only a very very small piece of the puzzle.
I am reminded of the story from Jesus's time on earth, where His disciples went out in a boat for fishing, or something of that nature, and Jesus, was off by himself praying...not soon after the disciples took off they saw a figure of man, walking out towards them...their was a great storm all around them. And in this scenario I've heard it said that often what you fear, is also what saves you. Not trying to get to philosophical on your here for that is not my nature, but let me unpack what that statement means to me...The disciples were obviously terrified. They were as human as you and I are, and imagine my friend how you feel if when you were out on the lake for boat ride with your friends and all of sudden you see a form of a man coming towards you...not on a jet ski, or wake board, but on foot, on top of the waves!!! Imagine the terror that would grip you. And for me, so it is with the fears in my life, that approach me with great certainty...are what end up teaching me the most about myself, and teach me new ways to give God glory.
I didn't know this to the extent that I know it now when my boyfriend drowned when I way 18, I only knew I was in the midst of a storm...but somehow, I survived that, I didn't know this when I lost my first baby to miscarriage...but I survived...and I didn't know this as I know it now when I first entered into a life-changing pregnancy sickness that lasted what felt like forever....
but what I know now is that based on what Christ did for me, based on the fact that I was redeemed with non-perishable things such as gold or silver, but with the blood of Christ (1 Peter 1:18-19) that the way He allows some fearful things into our lives, can in fact be what saves us...
He ultimately saves us, but when we turn to Him in the face of fear and trial, call out His name as He walks towards us in the midst of the storm, we realize we are once again, redeemed. When I said above what fears us also saves us, this is the second part of that statement, the disciples were terrified of this figure coming towards them, but as He did so, the waves died down.
So how often have you felt like this, "Lord, not only am I in the storm, now, your not here either!" Many times in trial, it also feels like God is silent for a time, my take on this from personal experience is that God is sometimes waiting to see our response, to test our faith a bit...and then, out of nowhere, and the most unexpected place, comes help walking towards us on the waves.
"Then he climbed into the boat with them, and the wind died down. They were completely amazed.." Mark 6:51
AMAZED. That is how I feel about God right now in my walk. I'M AMAZED. Amazed at what He DID for me, where He brought me UP OUT OF...and how He continually TEACHES me, and take the time to SPEAK to me. This is no small thing. The trials, they are there, they are hard, but HE IS BIGGER, HE IS THERE, AND HE IS WALKING TOWARDS YOU. reach out your hand take it, and watch as what you fear, saves you.
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