I know it's YOUR will, I know it's YOUR will, I know it's YOUR will.....

Have you ever had to repeat something over and over and over again to yourself, just to try and make yourself believe it. Name it, claim it, isn't that what they say? Well what about when what your supposed to claim is not what you want? What about when the "your will O Lord, not mine.." is not just different from what you wanted, but opposite? That's when it gets hard. That's when the rubber meets the road. And then, there is the aspect of when someone ELSE gets what you thought was meant for you. (or what you are thinking you should have) That's when it gets really hard.

When "so and so" gets cured from their disease, but you don't, or your mom doesn't or your grandma doesn't. That's when it's hard.

Or when it feels like someone else who "doesn't deserve" that thing, gets it. And you who have worked so very hard, are left empty handed. That also, is when it's hard.

These scenarios I speak of, are really what this life is all about. What I mentioned above, sums up a lot of what makes us unhappy in life. We feel slighted. We feel as though we deserve more....and our hearts are breaking over it. And it's actually very likely what we are desiring, is good stuff! You know like, a better job, a baby, a better living situation...the list goes on...

Sometimes, God simply says something we are not interested in hearing. And I for one, know that if I tell God I am not interested in hearing what He has to say, that I am shirking the one source of hope I really truly have. IF I, reject what God says, attempt to achieve my desired result with human ambition, in human strength, by human means, I will only fall short of something that does not even come close to what God may have had in store for me. Just because what we are getting, looks different than what we thought we wanted, it does not mean that we are not getting the best. We are. We are getting His best, which for outweighs our best. (by a long shot.)

The problem is, that in the midst of the trial, the storm and the distress, we often forget that God can see what we cannot. I constantly remind myself of this truth...God sees the whole picture. He does. And I cannot. So as much as my would cries, longs and yurns for what it thinks it needs, I have to faithfully put myself back into the loving arms of the Father, knowing, that He knows best, and His WILL for me, is best. If I let my own will come out stronger and be louder, then I will end up being discontent, and angry. If I slam my fist down, and cry as the person who has what I want walks on by, then I only force myself into my own misery. God has given me freedom. God has made a way for me to have joy. And it's in His will. IN His plan. In His peace. In those things alone will I find my peace, joy and contentment. I do believe this. I've seen it be this way before, and the number one thing a person can do to help themselves to see God's faithfulness, is to look back into their past and see where He has been faithful before. He will not let go, He will not leave me stranded. And He will not leave me empty. Ever. Do you believe that? I may not always like what is going on in my life, but I do know, the thought of doing it without Christ's ever present help, peace and strength to ride on, I would be down on the ground, face down in the dirt. My worst day with Christ, would still be better than my best day alone. And if I believe what I just said, that I do believe that His will for me is best. So I say...Not my will Lord, but yours. *sigh*