What Can I Say?

Yesterday was a day where the Lord asked me to take a very real look at what He did on the cross. What I am about to write are His words to my heart as I sat in communion yesterday. A time where He let me glimpse the suffering He went through for me.

"The walk to Calvary was long. Cold. People were shouting all around me. But I kept walking. For you. Rain was cold. Everything was cold. Even the blood on my brow was cold, but I kept bleeding. For you. The hill was really hard to climb. My body was so tired. But I kept going. For you. I thought about the plan, My LIFE for yours. Once and for all. Your sin, wiped out for good. That's why I did it you know. I did it for you. I know your sad honey. I know your really really sorry I had to do that...die... but I had to. For you. Otherwise darling, you would of had to die. I couldn't let that happen. SO I kept walking...up...that...hill... For you. I see you crying. I feel your sadness. I felt it then. But your sadness would be so much greater if I had not died. SO I did it. For you. This is not an easy thing, but the Father, who loves you so...asked me to do this. For you. So I did. I walked up that Hill. And hung upon that tree. My body for yours. I did it. For you. I died. For you. I spent three days in hell, suffering, for you. Please, accept my gift, the gift of my life, for yours. I did it for you my dear. My darling. My love. My child. My daughter. I did it. For you."

Those words ran through my head as I took communion yesterday. I could not stop the tears. They were flowing down and down. He did it, for me. The one perfect exchange. The life that paid all the debt. And if it were not paid, I would, you would, have to pay it. You see, I cannot pay the penalty for my own sin, because He already paid it. He did it, once and for all. And daily, I will take up my cross and follow Him because of what He did for me. On the cross. He did it. For me. The cold dark day that He died, was the day of my redemption. The day he said, "darling, I paid it all..." And what can I say?? What can I really say...but thank you. I really am at a loss for words, so let my LIFE be my thank you note to Him. The way I live my life, to honor my King. Every single moment, of every single day, is an opportunity to offer thanks to my one true love, and King who gave His everything, so I can give Him mine. My heart was beating out of my chest! I wanted to do something extravagant for Him. Something amazing! Something that would make Him just beam with joy, and pride and...and...and... Oh I just wanted to be the best thing that He had ever had!! I wanted to be an offering. My life to be something that pleased Him. I felt like my heart would pop. "I love you so much I'd do anything to be with you Jesus!!!!" That is what was racing through my mind. And you know what He said, "take up your cross daily, and follow Me. Forfeit your sinful desires. For Me. Lay down your flesh, For Me. Honor Me with your everything. For Me. Delight yourself in Me, for Me! Take each day as an opportunity to thank me with the way you live your life. FOR ME.

Deep breaths. Deep sighs. "Okay Lord. I will do this in your strength. Because you loved me first, you died for me, and I will be united with you through the way I then lay down my "life" (desires, fleshly wants, attitudes, thoughts, hopes, dreams) FOR YOU. Knowing, your already gave me your best. your son. Whom I love, more than words of love could describe. (but only because of your strength and power that You Lord provide me with to Love your Son in) (in myself I am nothing and can do nothing)

So Lord, what can I say? But thank you...and I will say it with my life.

Thank you Jesus, son of God, for dying FOR ME. And FOR YOU, I live each day until the day I get to go home to be with you. For it would be better by far to be with you, but as long as I am at home in this body, I will live with passion for you.