FIXING MY EYES

This morning, I was asking the Lord to give me the wisdom to blog something worthy of Him. You see, it seems this sickness has begun to take it's toll on me, physically and emotionally, I feel as though I cry more than I am not, and I know this is not how God intends me to be, even in trials. I have had other trials where I felt victorious and conquering! But when health is gone, it feels as though all is gone, and this my friends, is simply not true. It's a lie that the enemy has had me in for the last 6 weeks of sickness, it's been long, I will admit, but all is not gone. Today I went to my final day of bible study, where women were given the opportunity to stand and share a brief testimony on what God had done in their lives through the study of John. I was begging the Lord to simply let me be fed this morning messages of hope and strength to give me strength for today, and bright hope for tomorrow. And friends, He did just that.
One woman made the comment that when fear was setting in, it was as if she felt the hands of savior grab her face and say, "Child! Eyes on me!!!" And Im sure, (she did not elaborate) that He did this is many ways, because that is what He does with me too. And I needed to hear that today. My eyes have been darting around like fireflies on a midnight sky and it was as if I could not stay focused on any one thing (much less God) for more than a few seconds. That is how fear and anxiety works. If it's not one thing, it's another. And so it goes, until we are sitting their, sick and wringing our hands in trials, and all while knowing, this is not how we are to be.
God makes us victorious in trial. God makes us strong in battle. God holds us up while we are in deep waters. God, guides us around difficult paths and rocky mountains. If it were not for the Lord, and the gift we have in being able to fix our eyes with His, I would be a goner.
I have had many hopeless, helpless days, where I have been forgetting to call on His name, and seek His face.
I read the story yesterday of a woman in Jesus's time on earth, where she was subject to a disease of bleeding...and had done for 12 years. 12 Years!!! That's so long to be sick. I cried.
Jesus was in town, she had heard, and she had this thought.."if only I could touch His robe, I shall be healed! He wouldn't even have to know I touched Him!" So she set out, she found the mobs and crowds surrounding the Lord, she fought with all her strength, pushing through screaming, shouting people until she reached the robe, the very end of His robe. What she did next is so exemplifying her faith in His power, her trust in His ability to heal..she kneels down, reaches out, touches His robe, and instantly! She is Healed!!!
However, Jesus stops, He says, "Who touched me?" The crowd goes silent..one of the disciples dares to venture..."Lord, in all these crowds of people, you say, 'who touched me?'"
But Jesus persists.."Who touched me?" For He had felt the power leave Him the scriptures say as she touched him. So the woman, who was formerly bleeding for 12 years, stands. She says to the Lord..."Lord, I touched you." I'm sure she was ready to just "get it" from Him. After all, she did not ask, she just did it. But instead, our faithful kind Father said this.." Go...your faith has healed you..."
Isn't that an amazing story? I wish that faith was mine, but friends, the beauty of it is, is that He has already healed me in so many ways, I know that this can be true for me as well.
Perhaps not physical healing, (although He does that as well!) but also, healing for my sick and tired heart, if only, if only, I can fix my eyes on Him.
I pray that this will be true of you all today. Because if I know one thing, there is not a person out there without something in their life that they could call a trial. And if you are trial free, perhaps the Lord has allowed this for you so that you can be an utmost encouragement to those with the trials. So open your hearts, open your ears, open your eyes, ask the Lord to this for you, so that you can see Him, hear Him, and know Him in the way that He would have you.
Fix those eyes on the author and perfecter of your faith...and be encouraged!