Today, as I read a devotional at random, it asked me to examine myself, my heart and ask myself some tough questions about my life's circumstances...and how I am handling them. Ironically, I am in a bit of a hard place in my life, and doing self-examination, was not first priority on my list. Survival sort of was topping my to-do list yesterday and today. (I will spare you all my details, but know that God will provide for me)
But regardless, here I sat with this question of self examination, and part of me got a little mad at God for even placing this devotional in my path because I felt like maybe, just maybe He was asking too much of me. Turns out He never does that. And so I began to pray, "Lord, if there is any unclean ways in my heart, please show me." OK...let me warn you...if you pray this prayer with an honest and sincere heart, HE WILL ANSWER YOU. And then let the examination begin.
I found a few things right away that stuck out like a sore thumb, things like, constantly focusing on my own problems, forgetting that others have them too...and also, wanting things my way.
I know those are normal human thoughts, and responses to life's issues, but really, their is no real room for that type of emotion in my life, because what that is, is selfishness. Bummer.
I thought I was starting to do better with that stuff. Turns out, when we conquer an issue one way, chances are, the enemy just comes at you from another angle. Which is why, we are told to be on our guard! They come at us like thieves in the night, and the rug has been pulled from under us before we even know what happened. We are sinful at the core, and at much as we seek Him, we can never be TOO much on our guard for evil that creeps and longs to destroy our peace and our ministry.
So I ask you today my friends...has the enemy crept in in any way? Have you allowed him even the smallest of footholds? It happens before we know it, and once it's there, it's hard to admit it.
What do we do then? What do we say? How do we protect ourselves? The word of God is one place to start...seeping ourselves in it, never becoming complacent with our routine study of His words...and constantly examining our motives. Not what you are doing so much as why you are doing what you are doing. Also if you feel a curl of your lip, or a angry moment in your heart, ask yourself "why?" Not just "why is it there" but "how did it get there?" And the answer to the last question is usually because we are either distracted by our own pain, or we just simply let our guard down because we felt as though "we were doing OK."
Friends, let us never assume that "we are doing OK." For in that assumption, we are allowing a prideful thought to creep in, that perhaps, we are strong. I am not saying, "don't ever have a good day..." I'm saying, be on your guard. Be mindful of your thoughts, your actions and your attitudes, and see if there is any wrong way within them.
"Search me Oh God and know my heart, Try me! And know my anxieties..And see if there is any wicked way in me, and lead me to life everlasting." Psalms 139:23,24
I ask you to simply pray this prayer today, and see, as I did, if there is anything that has taken us off guard...if not, rejoice! And if so, repent, and move forward into life everlasting.
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