Choosing to Dig Deeper

I have been thinking a lot about where I've come from, and I blogged on that just a few days ago, and now, as I sit here, recognizing what I've come up out of, it would be easy (by the worlds standards) to simply sit back and say, "there, that's done. Now I can relax." Well, that is kinda what I wanted to do today, I wanted to hear how the messages I was hearing at my Bible study were for other people for once, not for me and I could just "take a day off" of learning, growing and becoming more for Christ. No, I did not actually voice those thoughts, but they were there. And it was sort of as if I was asking the Lord for a bit of a vacation from having to learn anything else about myself that was distasteful to Him. Turns out, that's what happened. Things started out OK as I listened the lecture, I was laughing and joking with a friend sitting next to me, and then the truth of God's word began to sink in again. There it was...my sin. And once again, I had to confess that I was sinning even in my desire to be exempt from learning! I wanted to sit back, content and feel as though I had learned enough! That is just never going to be the case. I don't say that to discourage myself, or you for that matter, I say it more as an observation. If I were to observe myself here, I'd say I started feeling comfortable in who I was, and some degree of this I recognize is OK...but too much of this and person can become complacent. That is not what I want, nor is it what God wants for me!
So as I read in my study today that I was reading, when I came to this question I stopped and pondered this question that was asked of me:
Are you pretending that you can do whatever you want, and God will be pleased with it as long as you are sincere..?
I always am focusing on being sincere of heart when I do what I do, but does what I am doing reflect God's desires for me? I guess I'm just putting the questions out there at this point because at this point I'm still in the processing phase of this.
I recognize that God will use many different circumstances to get our attention, and I am no exception, He draws in, gives us the word to read and learn from, but if the things we learn in the word are not enough to get our attention, He pulls from outside circumstances to make us listen. I know how that sounds. It sounds like, "what a mean, terrible God." But that is not it at all. And I need to remind myself of this. If we shake our fist at God when His correction comes in the form of difficult circumstances, then we risk missing out on the lessons He has in store for us, and if we stay mad permanently, we risk missing out on God all together.
I know one thing for sure, God attempted to use less harsh things in my life initially to get my focus off of myself and onto Him, but when I would not relent, my life circumstances did begin to get uncomfortable for me, and He used that to get my attention. We cannot worship God fully, and worship anything else at the same time, whether it be ourselves, or some component of our life. I feel like I've gone round and round with this topic, but it continues to be presented to me, so I have to think that God is really wanting me to get this one. And if I benefit from this repetition, I am assuming that perhaps any of you reading this may as well..
I don't want to sound redundant, but we people today, and (back in the time of Isaiah as well) all seem to have thick heads...and repetition seems to get through to us.
I want to wrap this up simply by making the comment that any place we choose to rest our head and hearts in, other than God, is darkness. So if I choose to rest my head in complacency and "take a break from learning" than I am taking a break from God. He provides peace even in the times of learning, and I am finding that. So if I think I can have more peace by avoiding His lessons, then I am wrong. God knows my needs. He knows when I am tired...and He offers me strength when I feel weak. He knows it all, for He has felt it all. So just as He corrects me, He also refreshes me, and that is where I will find complete peace.