I Love You Jesus Letter

Jesus, Jesus, Jesus. I love that name. I really, really love that name. It is high and lifted up. Above all else, and is the source of all I do, say and think. He is the person I wake up for every morning, the person I seek first before I do anything at all. He is the most important thing I will ever consider and my very best thought each day. You are the Great I Am, the wonderful, mighty prince of peace, the Councilor and the delight of my soul. My home, and you have made your home in me. My Lover, My Father, My Helper, My friend, My love, my Authority, My peace. You sanctify me, you lift me up when I am weak, you are strength, you are the Source of all things good in my life. You are joy. You are love. You are wisdom, might, and power. You lead, you guide, you direct and you discipline, all this and more I accept from your hand. You are, you always will be, you always have been. In you there is no darkness. In you there all comfort. In you my hope is found. In you I rest. You are my resting place. You are my streams of life, my water and my food. Without you I am homeless, Fatherless, and without anything of real value. To you I am thankful. To you I owe it all. In you is freedom, grace, and forgiveness. In you is life. Abundant life. Everlasting Life. Breath. Holy Spirit blow over me! Baby Jesus, Strong and Mighty King, I bow low in the presence of the One. Nothing can snatch me from your hands. You freed me from death, and fear of death. One small child, a baby born to die. Raised to life, and now, is the victorious raining King, the Great High Priest who ever intercedes on my behalf. Who lives and breaths to make me more like Him. Who breaths His life into me, and makes me walk when I cannot stand and makes me run, when I cannot move. You are miraculous . In one tiny baby hand is the grace that saved the world, and in the other tiny baby hand is death, life and resurrection. Little chubby baby feet that would walk the streets of dust, and death, now walk the streets of peals, rubies and gold. All day long the angels surround and sing, “Holy, Holy, Holy is the Lord God almighty who reigns!!!” The ALPHA, the OMEGA, my beginning, and my end. How I long to gaze into your eyes if only for a moment. Your beauty is indescribable, your glory, who can fathom? The soft kindness in your voice saying, “You are my child, remain in me…” And then you speak words of love to a crowd who spit on you sweet baby Jesus. A gorgeous, perfect child, born to be spit upon, for the sake of MY SIN. Yes Lord, what can I say but thank you. Face down in the dust I long to kiss your beautiful feet. Can I catch a glimpse of you? Just one small look? To hold me till I get to be with you for eternity. Here is my glimpse… As a mother looks into the face of a new born child, and stares into eyes full of wonder? That is my glimpse. The beauty that overwhelms the freshness of the new little life a Mother holds…you create life, you give life, you gave your life. If only I could wash your feet with my tears. I couldn’t’ bare to look in your eyes, but you tell me too! You say, “Daughter! Arise! Look at me! Fix your eyes on Jesus.” Jesus , Jesus, you’re the answer to all I’m searching for. If only I could find words to accurately describe my love for you, one day I prayed, “Oh Lord! Won’t you let me love you more?” and you did. And you did. Thank you.

Oil On His Feet

Dear Friend,
From the outpouring of the Spirit as I have prayed for you I want to say this...
From the beginning of time, the Lord has had YOUR name on His lips. He has loved you from the moment you made your first cry. When you mother looked on you for the first time, and loved you so deeply, even more HE loved you.
As you grew, and took steps on your own He let you. He said, "How I love this child..." And He watched as you learned to run. And with your gift to run, you ran back and forth, sometimes running to Him, sometimes running away from Him.
Who is HE? The God who thought you up before the foundations of the earth were laid. You were a thought in HIS mind. This God who created the heavens, and said, "This is good..." That same God created YOU...and when HE completed you He said, "This child is good!" He gazed upon your beauty and He longed to lavish His love on you. There were times where you said, "Yes Lord, I want your love..." And other times where you said, "No thanks. I'm fine."
Friend, A woman who had lived her life in complete abandonment to sin came to Jesus one day when His beautiful feet walked the earthly streets we walk today. Jesus was eating dinner with some friends and this broken figure of a woman entered into the home where He was eating. There they were, reclining around the table as was the custom, and this woman came crawling on her hands and knees, her face so low to the ground her nose became black from dragging it so low in her shame. Have you ever like this? I have. So as this woman reached Jesus, His feet were behind Him, and He felt something smooth being poured onto His feet, He heard weeping, and then droplets began to fall on His feet, and as He turned to look at what He already knew was happening, He saw the broken figure of this woman, so shamed wiping His beautiful feet with her long black hair....down around her tear stained face, now mixed with dust, her dusty nose was now streaked with black. She could not bare to lift her eyes to meet His, but she just kept weeping, and wiping His feet. Oil and tears pouring over His feet. Her sorrow wracked body shook with the shame she held on her own shoulders because of her sin. I can only imagine the look of love Jesus must have had written all over His face. One of Jesus's friends sitting at the table finally spoke up, I can only imagine the looks of shock and horror on the faces of His companions! This is not what people do! This is just not proper! She should not even have her hair down! Hair down implied bedroom activity! But in her utter abandonment of self she disregarded everything "normal" and abandoned herself in utterly and completely gone.
She then sat there at His feet, and kissed them. Those beautiful feet. Those feet I long to kiss. She kissed them over and over and over again. People just stood and stared. This friend who spoke up at last said this..."Do you know who is touching you? What kind of woman she is?"
Jesus said this "Simeon, I have something to tell you." "Tell me said Simeon."
Jesus replied.."Two men owed money to a certain moneylender, one owed him five hundred denarii and the other fifty. Neither of them had the money to pay him back, so he canceled the debts of both. Now which one of them loved Him more?" Simeon replied, " I suppose the one who had the bigger debt canceled." "You have judged correctly," Jesus said.
(Luke 7:40-50)

This my friends, is what Jesus has done for us. If you feel broken beyond repair, I have news for you. If you feel shamed beyond the ability to rise, rise in His strength.
Do you want to know the end of this story? This love story of a Savior with His beloved. Jesus looked at this women, rolling around in the chains and shame the the devil wants her to stay in, and He said, "Your sins are forgiven." and..."Your faith has healed you, go in peace." vs 50

Because she took a leap of extravagant obsession towards the only one who could save her, He saw her, and said of her, "You are my beloved. I have known you from the start..."
This world is full of lies, waging war over your souls and affections. The prince of THIS world the devil wants control over you daughters and sons! This enemy wants you to be in chains, to be in bondage...but Christ wants you to lift you tear stained faces to Him, lock your eyes with His, and receive the cleansing that washes away guilt, shame, death and fear of death.
We all have a debt we cannot pay on our own. whatever it is, know this, HE can cancel it. If only you come to Him, and ask. He who has been forgiven much, loves much, and He who has been forgiven little, loves little. You feel you have done to much to be forgiven? Think again. Oh the love that He has lavished on us. That we should be called the sons and daughters of God!

As this woman rose, from her place on the dirt, she left her costly oil, her tears, and she left her SHAME at the feet of Jesus. He wanted her to leave it there. So she could walk away in freedom. And when He hung on the cross for you and me my friend, He hung this woman's shame around His neck so the shame of HER sin, died with HIM. Gone. Forever. Never to be seen again. "Go He said, leave your life of sin!" And, in this He meant, Live free in ME. Do not walk in your own way that has no understanding. But in all your ways acknowledge HIM, and HE will make your paths straight. And by straight I mean, FULL. FILLED. NOT empty. LOVED. HELD. PROTECTED. SAFE. you are HIS beloved. He thinks you are beautiful. Friend, if you are not walking in the absence of shame that I speak of, wont you lay your shame at His feet, and accept what only He can give? LIFE. Even if you don't have costly oil to pour on His feet, that's OK. Poor out your heart to Him. He's being born tomorrow into this world to save you. Wont you accept Him as your gift? And give yourself to Him as the ultimate gift is given to you. Life. Eternal life. You will never regret accepting life, over death. Someone must die for your sin, and He would rather have it be Him. He loves you so....
Sincerely,
Your Friend.

Use me up

All gone. Empty. Dry as a bone. Bottom of the barrel. Belly up. Done. Finished.

Do any of the words describe how you feel at the end of a long day, hard day of work? I feel that way right now. But it's for a good cause you know. Every day as of late when I wake up I think this..." This is the day that the Lord has made, I will rejoice in how HE USES ME." And I am. All I can do is make everything I do, an Hallelujah. Why? As Christmas approaches I have been thinking this: A tiny little perfect, beautiful baby boy was born to a mommy, similar to myself. That mommy was young, new at being a mom, and her baby boy was perfect to her in every way. Although something was different about this baby boy. You guessed it, His name was Jesus. And this baby, was a baby born to die. He was brought into this world for one purpose, for saving me through His death. This is why I say, what I can I say? What can I do to thank Him? What can I do that will not just end up looking hollow or empty in response the magnitude of His gift to me? So what do I say? I say this: "Lord I give you my life. And everything that is in it. All that I say, think, do and walk through each day will be done as an hallelujah to my King. He literally sacrificed everything for me. His very breath. So that I could live. Who is this King of glory???? That is the King I do everything for. So it is why I say, "Lord, what is your mission for me today?" "Lord, give me my marching orders.." "Lord..I am your instrument, play whatever song you wish..." And I am delighted each and every time He assigns me with something to do for Him and His kingdom... I wish I could say I always executed every order He gives me with absolute perfection, but I am still fleshly at times, much to my sadness. But I am giving my Lord my every single moment, and when I get selfish with those moments, and take back what I long to give to Him, I say I'm sorry, and in my confession, He takes me back and builds me back up again the faith...and once again I continue on. This King, This baby King, who came to die, has stolen my heart. And I want to give Him all of me. My every single breath. My every single moment. I love Him for all He did, for how He meets in the quiet places. How when I open His words, His words FLOOD off the pages and speak in love letters to me. His words are the most beautiful I have ever heard, and all I can say is this: "Lord, use me up." I'm desperate for Him. I am lovesick. I am breathless and thankful. And my life is His. He gave me His life. Can you imagine? Picture this tiny baby.... and in His sweet baby hands nails would be driven. And when He grew up, He was so focused. Focused on the truth of His Father, speaking truth to me. He made a way for me. I am an adopted daughter...and He made me His chosen one. So what then shall I say in response to this? "Lord use me up." I hope you hear the desperate longing I have for Him in my voice. My longing for Him is beyond any longing I have the ability to quench on my own. Only His return will quench it...but until He comes back, I will live my every single moment for HIM! I thirst for more and more time with Him....if only I could sit at His feet all day...Oh Jesus. I cling to you.

As the deer pants for the water so my soul pants for you O God.

Use me up.

Undistracted devotion for only you. I don't want to talk about you like your not in the room, I want to look right at you. I want to sing right to you. - Misty Edwards, "Doves Eyes."

Just The Gloves

My lack of blogging lately is not because God has been doing less, or speaking less to me, but rather, I have been overwhelmed with all the lessons He has been wanting me to learn...it's almost like I keep trying to catch a moment to examine all I've learned but I can't even stop long enough to do that! haha
But here is the biggest lesson I have been learning. I am a glove. Let me explain what I mean and as I do so I'm going to do it hopefully in a way that when you are done reading this, you will want to be more of a glove as well. God is the great master. The great physician, the one in charge. He has tasks for each one of His children that He would like to use us in. He places each one of His children in their life situations, and as things happen to us, and circumstances mold and shape us, this causes us to have an avenue of understanding that someone farther down the road does not. We all different things. What He teaches you, is going to be different than what He teaches another person. For He intends to use you, differently than He uses someone else. So in your life lets just say you lost a child. Tragic and heart wrenching, in your sorrow you turn to God, He teaches you the beautiful thing that only He can make good from bad. He takes your tragedy and places you in a situation in life to minister to other families who have lost children. Your pain, suddenly, has a purpose. Your trial can be viewed in a different light, and you realize, in eternity, the death of your child means something more than death. It is life to others. It is a chance for you to take another person (through His guidance) from a state of utter desolation, to understanding things that you know now further down the road from your own pain. God is glorified...you are sanctified and work for the kindgdome has been done. You see, it's like this: God is the surgeon. He uses gloves in each and every surgery, this surgeon has the ability to choose what kind of gloves He wants to use in any given operation/procedure. God who is all knowing, sees everyone, and understands all thing thing, looks at us and says, "There! Those are the gloves I can use." And He slips us on, and we go to work, only able to do real meaningful work when we are on His strong hands. We are His instruments, that is another way to look at it. A spoon laying on the table is nice, but the spoon only becomes useful when the person using the spoon picks it up and begins to put it into use. I am a spoon. I am a glove. So this is what I have been saying, "Lord, I am in my place in life because in your sovereignty, you put me here. Knowing that at some point, you'd be needing a pair of gloves that fits 'this' type of situation. So here I am. Speak Lord, your servant is listening." And as I tell Him such things I begin to notice, opportunities in my life arising to take things from my past and present and use it to glorify my Maker. Do you hear the gravity in this? You are not the one doing the work. He is. He is using your MOUTH. Your SITUATION. Your PAIN. Your TRIAL. And giving you a unique platform to further His kingdom from. To proclaim Him name from. He takes the things that the prince of darkness wants to ruin us with, and turns it around to help other people in HIS kingdom, encourage others in this faith, and strengthen others until the day of His return, or He calls us home.
"For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do." - Ephesians 2:10

So friends...what is it that He is asking you to do for Him? Or, rather, let Him do with you? You might be the pair of gloves He wants to use right now, but first we have to realize that the gloves do not move on their own, meaning we always need the Master to put us on before our lives take on kingdom purpose. So ask the great Physician, "Is this the surgery you want to use me in?" Trust me friends, He will answer.
And then, secondly, because the gloves do not move on their own, even if it looks like it's the glove that is doing all the work, their not. So if the man behind the gloves is making all the moves, who should get the glory when the work is done? The one behind the gloves. We are here to hi light Him, and being used by Him, and then when the work is done, turning around and applauding HIM...this is what we ought to do. He knows you child...He knows your hurts, your fears and your pain, and He will not stretch you in use beyond what He knows you can do. But when we are stretched, used and worn out at the end of the day, you know what we get to take joy in? We have done something in His strength, for His purpose, for KINGDOM VALUE. Kingdom value is the riches that do not run out! Kingdom value is the stuff that makes this life have deep, meaningful purpose. And it's the stuff that at the end of the day, is the only that matters. We are the most fulfilled, peace filled and strengthened when we are being used by Him in such a capacity. I realize this thinking is foolishness to the world... but have you spent any time gazing into the eyes of the Savior? You will be reminded of why we do what we do as gloves as you look into His eyes of sacrifice. What He did for me...you know, a baby born to die...I'm not sure I can write any further for the sorrow that overwhelms me as I have to consider all He suffered for, for me. To give me life. And, in my past, I had the audacity to take the glory when He died for me, and then used me, and I somehow thought I did something that added to that? NO friends. The only thing I brought to the table was my sin, and He lifted me up from my pain filled, desolate, destructive way of life, and put clean white clothes on me, and said, "there...she is the one I want to use." Bowing low, in the presence of the ONE. I place my tear stained face at the foot of the cross, I rest my now cleaned hands down in front of the cross. "use me Lord" is all I can say. And then you know what we say friends..." To Him be ALL THE GLORY, HONOR AND PRAISE." This King, this Great High King, who ever intercedes for us, who suffered for us, who uses us, and makes us worthy, makes us clean, He is the only reason I want to get up in the morning. My beautiful Savior. My precious Jesus. My Righteous Judge. My Great High King. The one who sat down at the right hand of the Father and for me said, "It is finished." Yes friends. That is the one who puts me on His hands as gloves, and uses me. Speechless am I.

Fear

What are you so afraid of? There are a lot of things that a person could fear..and for me, it's mostly a fear of the unknown. You know the type, things like "whats going happen to me if I get sick...what's going to happen to my kids if...(and you can fill in the blank. What if someone breaks into my house, what if my husband dies, what if my life falls apart? OH MY GOODNESS FRIENDS???!!! Can you feel the temperature rising as I state these fears that swirl around my mind??? I can and I have one thing to say.."Jesus! Stop the noise!" and drown out the madness of my fear. Perfect love drives out fear right? So what does this mean in relation to my trust in Jesus in light of all these fears that swirl around me? I need to look at my circumstances through the light of His love for me...and how friends, how He loves us! Getting to know Jesus is the best thing we can do for ourselves (and others) if we are feeling fearful, alone, in pain, happy, peaceful, thankful, deserted, (you get the idea) getting to Jesus in all and any life-circumstances is going to help us view our circumstances in a more God inspired way. The person of Jesus reveals to us how to respond in any and all circumstances, the understanding we gain of God helps us to view our situation in light of a God who made all things perfectly, sacrifice His son, and gave us the ultimate gift. So when I am fearful, I can say, God is going to give me His best. He already did this for me once and for all with the death of HIS SON on the cross. And so, even now, as I can imagine all the things this world offers to me to be afraid of, I can point my finger at the fear and say NO! In all of this I am more than a conqueror through Jesus Christ My LORD who greatly empowers me to boldly face the things that cause me to tremble. You know the song, "When I am afraid give me Jesus..." well it's true friends. You can have all the rest, just give me Jesus. Essentially what that song is saying is this: What's the problem? Here's the answer..JESUS. Whats the thing that is troubling you? Here's the answer...JESUS. What do you fear? Here's the answer...JESUS. Yes my friends, Jesus is the answer. He is my answer to all of my life's problems...troubles and fears. I need to look at my fears and circumstances in light of how much He loves me. I know He loves me because He demonstrated His love for me on that old rugged cross. He took My shame. My sins. My guilt and died for it...for me...Amazing Grace. And yet I still find it in me to be afraid? Fear is normal, LIVING in fear is not. Have a fearful though is normal, we just have to know where to put that thought and how to move on. We place that fearful thought in His hands, and we ask Him to empower us to live in the freedom from whatever drives us down. We do not have to be a slave to that which we fear. So I say this: Fear, you shall not be my master. By His blood, I am free, victorious, and I have a way out of myself. THANK YOU LORD!!! I pray that this encourages any of you who read this, for I know that in this world there are many many things we can fear, but Christ who has chosen us to be His people before the foundations of the earth was laid, gives us all we need to live a life that is full, filled, and free. And I pray you can (and I) can tap into that with all the joys and blessings that it holds for us.
There is an enemy who would love for us to live in the thing that longs to enslave us, but we have a Master who is stronger than any enemy we may face. Let Him be the ammunition to fight your fears, and watch as the thing that longs to entangle you, is exposed for what it really is...FEAR,SATAN: you will not be our master. In Jesus name, we claim victory. Can I get an AMEN? AMEN. NOW LIVE IN FREEDOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

All My Little Holes

Have you ever looked at a honey-comb? The outline is always in place, but in-between there are many tiny holes. In the actual beehive, the holes are endless and the bees work tirelessly to fill them. That my friends is kinda what we do to. We are busy little busy body bees, and we are always working hard to fill up our lives, make them full, and at least "look" nice. Right? Who cares whats going on on the inside...*ahem* There is someone who cares about whats happening with on in the inside. And HE does care about how well we fill those holes, and just what it is that we fill them with.

Let me explain.

When you start out your life it probably looks a little something like this: I want this because I want this. It sounds good to me. It seems to fit who I am. It makes me happy. I am excited about this thing and therefore, we drop it in one of our "empty" holes. There. That's filled.

And we move on. OK, how should I fill up the area of "relationships" in my life? "Ooohhh!" That persons cute, and my heart flutters when I see them and they seem to respond to me too, and I think they would fit me, and I think they would make me happy, possibly more complete, and lets see..."Yep. I think they fit in that gap." Good. *dusts hands off* that hole is filled now too. We are making fast progress here friends! Good work right??? wrong.

Let me ask you this: When was the last time you asked God of all, Maker of you, oh, and of heaven and earth, what HE thought of how we fill our lives? All of our gaps?

We start out with just a thin small frame of existence, and due to our sinful, selfish natures, we instantly begin to fill our emptiness with things that WE think will make us be more whole. More filled. This is not how it is supposed to work.

Sit down with a pencil and paper. Yes, right now.

With pencil in hand, write in one column the list you think you decided for yourself, in your life. (ie) Kids. Husband. Job. Friends. Hobbies. Fun. Play. Sports. (you get the idea)

Things that YOU know you decided upon, not the things you counseled the Lord on.

In the second column write down the God-filled holes. (or what it is that fills the holes) and see what you come up with...(husband, kids, lifestyle, home, how you spend your time, money, you get the drill)

See you back when your list is done.

Done? SO? what'd you come up with?

How much did you find in your life that is God place, God designed, God breathed, God thought up? And how much of it was you? Are you encouraged? Or convicted? Inspired?

Inspired is what I hope you say. Because friends, the holes will only cease to be empty for eternity when you let God be the one to fill them. So lets say you filled your time hole with all kinds of junk. Things you now see are not things that God chose for you, lay out your list before the Lord, and ask Him..."Lord, what of these things are you pleased with? How can I start over in filling these things with things that YOU would choose for me?" Let me tell you how you will know that the way your holes are filled, are filled with things HE is please with. In enters peace. Yes peace like a river my friends. You sit there, and you can breath easy as you stare into that filled hole. It feels good. Righteous. Holy. Time well spent. A hole, well-filled. yeah?

Perhaps the problem with the way we fill our holes is that we don't understand His design well enough for us. What are His desires for us? How will we ever know these desires? By taking our un-renewed minds and giving Him timae. When God is in the center of all we start...things begin to fall into the holes in a way that makes total sense, and leave us at peace.

Here is one tangible example from my own life that I will end on.

Last week, I had one hour in which to accomplish some things. It was a hole. I had a way that I thought would be the best way to fill that hole. (some holes are bigger than others) SO as literally sat at the intersection, and prayed, "Lord, what way do you want me to fill this hole..." And as I prayed, the peace washed over me, and I turned right. Instead of left. It's that simple friends. He longs for us to ask Him about everything we do. Not in a legalistic way. Not in a way that paralyzes us...but in a way that allows Him to quite literally, direct our steps. To be Holy Spirit led...God approved, love by the Father as we willing walk out our day in faithfulness to His plans for us. That is how we fill all those little holes. As I said earlier, some holes are bigger than others..like "God, should I take this job?" "God, should I live this way.." or " God, I want kids, but can't have them...what does that mean???" Yes. Some holes are big, some are small, but quit being such a busy little busy, and stop. Take your busy mind, and quiet it before the Father who loves you and know whats best for you as ask for the ears to hear, the eyes to see, and mind to comprehend what the Holy Spirits next move for you might be. Friends, you are in for a real treat if you haven't done this yet. It is so amazing to feel as though you are really truly, absolutely walking in such a way that has His touch all over it. It's such a delight to the Father when we walk in His will. And as we ask in His will..that is where the power lies. That perhaps is for another post though. Lets start here and friends, enjoy your new found freedom. IN HIM!!! :) Glory to God in the highest and on earth peace, and goodwill to men. (and gals)

Can't I Just Relax????

Have you ever thought that regarding your ministry? And yes, the answer is yes. But not in the way you think. To die is gain. We know this right? But do we live this way? To Christ we give it all...we say this right? But do I believe this ALL THE TIME? It's one thing when your in ministry day full throttle...but what happens when you arrive home, feet smoking from all the running you have just done for Him, and you sit down, and say, "is this my life?"

Oh friends. Let me encourage you on something I am trying to learn myself here. God IS a God of rest. He wants His servants to rest in HIM! He longs for us to grab all the strength we need from His unlimited source pools, and when we are tired, He longs to show us HOW to lay down beside still waters, and have our souls restored. So you ask..."How do I do this?"

And we pray this: "Holy Spirit...show us. Show ME how to rest in the midst of a crazy, seemingly endless, chaotic life that always begs for MORE." More of what? More of us? Surely not. The only person we give US to, IS GOD. The rest, He gives us to give.

*sigh of relief?* Me too.

It's not our strength my friends. It's His. The Lord Almighty. God of ALL. God of the universe (that HE created) and Lord of all we say and do...THAT is whom we glean our strength from. His resources are endless. His power, indescribable. His abilities? Whom can fathom. SO what are we so afraid of? Why are we so exhausted? Perhaps my friends, we are trying to do this thing, (our ministries) a bit TOO much on our own. We have no power in and of ourselves to encourage others, minister to others. It's only what He says with our mouths, and does with our hands that we can really do anything at all. How do we offer an acceptable gift of service to Him? By asking for the power, the will and the know how. How do accomplish anything that has any sort of kingdom value? Through HIS unending, matchless abilities. He will show us. His wisdom is beyond. His might is unspeakable. And guess what my friends? It's available to you. Let us unveil the means of grace. Our how, our why, our what, and when is God. Your confused? Pray this: "Show me Holy Spirit! Help me! Reveal to me, so I am no longer confused..." You are tired...pray this.." Holy Spirit, show me the best way you want me to rest..." And if you know I am not to rest...give me the energy." Oh and friends! He will. He is soooooooo good. And I am so thankful to have this GIFT of knowledge that I know that I can turn to HIM at any given moment, (and really, it should be without ceasing) for anything, anytime, anywhere...and boom. YES BOOM!!! I can be encouraged. just like that. And all I have to do, is say, "Lord, I am without anything that I need. I am lacking in all I need. WILL YOU O FATHER supply me????" And He will. And He does. And I am no longer saying..."can't I just relax???" Because His ways are higher than mine. He sees what I cannot...and He ministers to me more than any nap, or any vacation (or late') ever could. Know what I mean?

"So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live in Him. ROOTED and BUILT UP in Him, strengthened in the faith as you were aught and OVERFLOWING WITH THANKFULNESS." -Colossians 2:6-7

Oh yeah, so here is the part I forget. When I'm swamped. When I'm done, when I would consider myself to be "suffering.." I am supposed to rejoice and be thankful. That's weird. Right? Wrong. Thankfulness is the response we ought to have when we know we are doing the only thing in life that really matters. So you are tired? He understands...and will give you rest...but what we need to recall when we are so tired is this: If we are tired for the sake of Christ, we are to be thankful. If we are tired because we are doing the things that WE KNOW He has without a shadow of a doubt called us to do, then we are blessed. We are blessed to share in His ministry. We are blessed to be living a life filled with Holy Spirit given direction, with God-fueled strength, and a calling that has the name of Jesus Christ written all over it. Yes my friends, in the Christian world...tired from ministry = thank you Lord. Because, (and I'm learning this still) His path of resistance, is better than the lonely, dark, cold, path that ends in death. (the path of least resistance) When you are facing resistance, it's because you are conquering things for the Kingdom, and believers in Christ on a mission: Let me tell you this!!!! Your ministry for Christ is the only thing that lasts. Nothing else matters except that which He has called us up to do. So the next time you (or I) feel worn out, tired, or just plain DONE. Ask the Holy Spirit to revive you, and as you look out at your ministry with a fresh pair of Holy Spirit awakened eyes, think on this: "For God so love the world that He gave His only Son FOR ME." You are saved. You are whole because He was broken. Waves of resistance? In His boldness we can face them. Tired? In His rest we can live. Overwhelmed? IN HIS POWER WE WILL SEE LIFE ABUNDANT!

This is the good stuff friends. So don't relax. Rest. "Come to me all who are weary, AND I WILL GIVE YOU REST."

"Oh Lord, your beautiful...you face is all I see. And as the things of earth grow strangely dim...in the light of your glory and grace... Turn you eyes upon Jesus...look full in His wonderful face..."

Eyes on Him dear friends. Eyes on Him. And rest.

Sorrow? You Are Not My Master

You know, that what you worship is your idol? And what you idolize, that essentially is your master. (2 Peter 2:19b)

Have you ever considered this? The thing you spend the most time thinking about and on, is most likely the thing that is your biggest pit-fall? The one thing that you hold so tight too, and do not want to let go of for fear of loosing? Yes. That is the thing we are TO let go of. In my case...sorrow tends to be something I have a hard time letting go of. I say..."that is my pain to hold" Or that is "my thorn in my flesh.." but even though Peter begged with the Lord to remove His thorn, the Lord did not return with answers of "Yes Peter, I'll make your life perfect..." Rather, the thorn is what kept Peter running back to the Lord. That the thorn is what kept Peter confident in the Lord rather than himself. God is not cruel. He does not want us to be in pain, rather He wants us to be victorious in our difficult circumstances. It's like the parent who does not come and fish the wayward child out of every puddle they fall in. Sometimes the child has to learn either to ask for help, or how to avoid the puddles all together. You see? I have been sitting in my own puddle for quite some time. Tears streaming down, focus completely inward, eyes looking intently at my soppy state. Rather, God is saying, " Here's a towel, ask me for it. Here is a cup of warm tea to warm yourself with, ask me for it!!! Here is a fire I have built for you to sit by, come sit with me here." And I keep saying, "Oh but God I'm so cold!" and " Oh Father, you just don't understand how soppy I am!! It will take forever for me to dry..." and on I go complaining, sitting in my puddle. This is NOT the life God would have for me. THIS is not His idea of victorious living. NO. This is called wallowing. And you know who wallows? Swine. I am not very fond of swine. they stink. The snort. They live in dirty conditions, and in reality they actually LIKE the mud. I do not want to be a swine. SO, today as the Lord once again encouraged me in another layer of truth to stand up and get out of my puddle, I said once more.."OK...I'll try." And with weak arms, I struggled to pull myself up. But as I rose out of the water, do you know what happened...? He grabbed my hand. He helped me. He held me up as I shook the mud from my feet, and wiped my tears away. He handed me a towel, and held my hand as He led me to the fire of His holy grace. Grace. I took my eyes off of my lonely conditions for one second, and placed them on His plan for me, His purpose for even my pain, and this is what I saw: grace. A new beginning. A chance to begin anew. And the strength in which to do it in. That is what I received in return for my filth. I gave Him my weakness, and He gave me strength. I gave Him my sorrow, and He gave me joy. I gave Him my wet, soppy, mud soaked clothes, and He gave me hope laced, pure white linen. As I put on my new clothes, I realized, the trial was still there. I still had the thorn, but He showed me what to do with the sorrow, where to put it, and how to move forward. As I handed Him my pain and sorrows, He smiled at me. I actually FELT this smile. It warmed my soul. With tear stained cheeks, and new white clothes, I moved around the puddle, I realized wallowing, was not helping. We all have something that causes us grief. We all have something that is our "if only this was not here, all would be well..." but friends, let me tell you, you can live victorious even with your "if only." We just need to learn how from the one who gives us all we need. Our heavenly Father knows us, hears us, loves us and longs to show us what victorious life actually looks like. To thrive. Not survive. That is the goal. No more wallowing. Sorrow, although you are there...you are not my master. I have only one Master..and in His hands, I know I am held. Thanks be to God for this indescribable gift. All Praise, And Glory, And Honor are due...and In He alone, Am I VICTORIOUS. (and you can be too)

The Way To Spend A Day

-Wakeup: 6am.

-6:15 Devotions.

- Run at 7. shower at 8.

-off to work by 8:30.

-12:00 Lunch.

-5pm clock out.

-5:30 pick up kids (or dinner)

-6pm eat.

-7 till 8:45 watch tv

-9 brush teeth

-10pm bed.

So...here is a "schedule." A plan for a day. I'm sure you have one that looks similar, or much different depending on if you have children, or a family. It's a fine schedule and most likely, you are quite content, (for the most part) with how your days go. At the end of the day there is not too much to complain about, you get paid, you feed yourself and your family well enough, you get time to rest on the weekends. But yet, I still can't help but feeling like something is missing...

You may feel this way too, it sort of comes with little twinges of sadness that your not sure where they come from and why, and a feeling like you are "missing something." Not quite empty, but just a little void. Like, your staring out a window at a beautiful sunshine day, but you are anticipating the clouds that might roll in later. That sort of feeling. I've been there so I'm not really having any trouble articulating what I want to communicate. I spent many many days feeling just this way. And I was not very happy in this place.

Something WAS missing.

Let me ask you this...when you make your plan for the day, do you ask the LORD what He would want you to do and accomplish in and through your day? I mean, the time that you call discretionary, is it really discretionary? Not that you don't ever relax, because God wants you to rest also! But when you say "Lord, will you help me to organize my day in such a way that brings you the most glory, and uses the gifts and abilities you have given me to use the schedule that you see best for me? That best suits me to do your work...for your glory? It's AMAZING what happens when all of a sudden you start to look at your day as more than just "another day." More than just Tuesday or Friday. It's God's day, God's schedule. For you must know friends, HE does see what we cannot. And You can be sure He does have a day plan for you that works best for you, and glorifies Him the most. Our lives are His as Christians. We accept this right? But our days? Our every little minute by minute plan? Is that a little too much for you to consider? Well, it's not meant to be a thought that stresses you, because the very reason I am bringing this up is that you will have less stress in your day! God can organize things in such way that just works better. BUT...we have to ASK Him first. We have to see what He wants us to do, and when He wants us to do it. So you say you have "no other time to run but at 7am?" Ask Him if this is how HE wants you to spend your 7am hour. Perhaps He would rather have you do something else for Him at that time and then He will give you a hour and 1/2 at a different time rather than a rushed hour long run before work! Work is non-negotiable, we know that, but how about those 10 minutes that you sit idle at your desk? Or perhaps your rather idle the entire day? Use your work time to bring Him glory as well! Let me just stop and say WHY it is we do this friends...why we are so focused on bring Him glory, why we are so blessed to walk through a day in His strength, and His direction/guidance... We are blessed to do this because He gave up everything for us on the cross...then He so graciously sent His Holy Spirit here to guide us in all we do. We forfeit such wonderful direction when we do things in our strength rather than tapping into the all-knowing discernment of the Spirit. He can even help you make the right food choices in a day! Have you ever thought about that? Have you ever prayed this? "Lord, help me to make food choices today that honor you, and bless this body that you have made your home...that I will crave the right things, and that you will tell me when it's OK to splurge on a treat, and when you want me to eat a healthier thing?" HAVE YOU EVER THOUGHT THIS WAY FRIENDS? It's transformational when we start to consider that all we do, every little thing, MATTERS TO GOD. And that He has a plan for you for ever moment of your day? So the next time you really just feel like crashing on the couch, ask the Lord? "Lord, do you think that resting right now is the best thing for me? And if it's not, would you give the energy to get up and accomplish what it is you want me to do for you?" He is not a slave driver. He will tell you to do what He knows is best for you. Even better than you know yourself. It's a radical way of thinking I know, but I would imagine that as you spend your days in a whole new way, living out a "Spirit led day" you will begin to be more satisfied, better rested, more well fed, and with more peace than if you tried to walk around your day blind. For when we make our plans, and commit them to the Lord by being in the center of His will, our plans WILL succeed. Because it will not be our personal success, but His. And He is all about making us succeed in His strength. We only need to know this: In order to hear Him, we need to be sensitive to Him, and in order to be sensitive to Him, we have to know Him...and how do we really know someone? BY SPENDING GOOD, QUALITY TIME WITH THEM. So spend your time with Him each day....and watch as He makes your day unfold in such a way that does not leave you feeling empty, unproductive or as though you have missed something...but rather you feel this: This was a good day, this was a day that the Lord Made! This was God centered day, that left me feeling as though I did something that prospered not just my life, but others life, because when you start to focus on His plans for you, you see all the little opportunities in each day that He has for you to minister to others. When we plan our days by our own desires, we always tend to factor out OTHERS. We only plan for us. This is not God's design. We were formed, placed and led to be ministers of His word, and His word constantly speaks of how we are to love others in actions, words and truth. SO I challenge you, consider your days my friends. Consider your time. This is not a guilt trip, this is a gift, and gift of a new though process that causes us to in the end, be living a more fulfilling, more joyful, more peaceful, more FILLED (Spirit filled) life. And I for one, want more of this, less of me, more of Him, = joy, peace, and contentment. yes please. I'll have some more of that.

Thank you Lord. You are so good to us to show us your loving kindness in the form of directions for our day. The truth that you even care of us, and our mindful of us causes me to be so humbled. The fact that you take the time to speak to us??? That is amazing. The God who LITERALLY formed the moon and the stars, forms our days (if we invite Him to do so) and that leaves me speechless. THANK YOU LORD!!!! AMEN!!!!!!!!!!

A New Direction

Much of what I blog on has been going down the road of, "what to do to live a life that is filled with the joy of Christ, the direction of the Holy Spirit, and ways to live the life God has called us to live." A long title but it the jest of it. As I have taken a few days off of blogging, (weeks?) I realized something....much I what I say sounds the same. Be Christlike, live in a manner that is worth and pleasing to the Father, be encouraged men of faith, and walk in His strength, not ours. Am I right? SO...one has to ask? What now? What now Lord? What do you have for me to write, to say, to encourage? As I have poured over the scriptures lately, mainly the writings of Paul, I am astounded at how many different ways he delivers the same message..."Repent. Be encouraged. Live a life that is pleasing to God.. DO His work that the Holy Spirit will tell you to do, but the only the way you will hear the Holy Spirit is if you are connected to the Speaker of life, wisdom and understanding to those mysteries we do not know." Mysteries that will only be explained to us through discernment that only He can give. Through ears that only are opened when we are in constant conversation with the Father, (and by constant conversation I mean staying connected to the vine) and to in return bring GLORY to the Father to FURTHER the kingdom of HEAVEN and look forward to our eternal home. ALL THE WHILE...being more peaceful, joyful and encouraged than if we avoided this whole life with Christ all together. It makes sense to me as I write it out...does it make sense to you? To live a life powered by Christ, fueled by the wisdom and discernment of the Holy Spirit...and a feeling of awesome holy reverence for the one who thought it all up in the first place...GOD. The main thing that God has been teaching to me, and stressing it's importance is this: The Whys of this whole thing. And the How's. The why is simply this: I am His. He can do with me what He wants. He can use my hands, my mouth, my feet, (you get the idea) to what He can with them THE MOST that He can with them. This is not a use and loose it mentality. (that He has with me) HE is my FATHER. And a Father LOVES his child...and wants to see HIS child succeed in the very best way possible. So that is why I feel so confident in HIS use of me. He loves me with a love powered not by selfish motives, for God cannot be impure. He is Holy...perfect and trustworthy. (trust-able) and we ought to feel VERY safe in this. Now the HOWS of how we do what we do for God, is rather simple and yet complicated. Simple because we know that we are not powered by our own strength. If we were powered by our own ability and capabilities, we would cash out at mile 5 of the marathon, for that is truly where most humans strengths, run out. NO...in all of this we are MORE THAN CONQUERORS through whom? Christ JESUS!!!!! Not ourselves. The little bit more complicated part is simply finding the time to set aside to get to know the Holy Spirit well enough to hear His voice. to be sensitive to His leading, calling and words. He has words for you my friends. He has understanding, wisdom and knowledge for you dearly beloved children of God!!! He wants to teach you things that you do not know. To give you directions that you cannot hear unless you sit, read and get quiet with Him. Worship Him with an open mind to hear what direction He may have for you. Be sensitive. You know what it means to be sensitive? To your spouse/loved one...children...friends...family? You sit...you are quiet...you still and you look intently, you listen intently and you wait until your speaker is done before you interject your thoughts. You are patient while you are being sensitive and you are calm. Is this the way you open your Bible? Are you expectant, but most of all a sensitive searcher? That is what we are called to be. And most of all, why do we do this my dear friends? We do this to be used. And when we know we are being used for the best purposes that God has in mind for us, what are then? Fulfilled. And again I ask you a question...what does the word fulfilled lead you to think of? For me it's peaceful. Content. And JOY. Isn't it joy that draws you to another? I want to be with Joyful people. People who are content. WHO are streaming out goodness from the goodness that dwells within. That is the kind of friend I want to have. And as the song that Tim Magraw sang one time about "living like we are dying..." To be the kind of friend a friend would want to have.

SO I'll leave you with that. No more questions. No more of my thoughts and answers...But just a challenge to search your hearts through Christ Jesus...Look as if to find something. Search as if you know the answer is in there. Examine as if it's your last and only clue to finding the answers you have been searching for all your life. He will meet you there. Trust Him. Thank Him. Love Him. Live FOR HIM. Be desperate for Him AND...most of all...to God be the glory.

Putting My "Money" Where My Mouth Is

My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry, for mans anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires. - James 1:19

" But someone will say, you have faith, I have deeds....Show me your faith without deeds and I will show you my faith by what I do. You believe that there is one God? GOOD! Even demons believe that...(yada yada) AND SHUDDER! " -James 2: 18, 19

Lately my friends, God has been telling me a lot about not only saying I have faith, or that I am a believer, or that I follow Christ with my EVERYTHING. (words, actions, thoughts, moods, life example) Faith without deeds? dead. dead dead dead as a doornail. Not to mention hallow. Have you ever had someone "promise" you something, but then know that at the end of the day, they were the type of person who would never actually call you back, do that thing, or follow through? Oh my friends...this is not the person I want to be!!! I used to care so little about others, I'd say many nice things, and then have little to no follow through. Faith with out action is nothing. Faith without follow through is empty. void. gone. ridiculous.

I do not want the demons that I cannot see to laugh in joy every time I fail to follow through. That's what they do you...do not be ignorant of this: There is a spiritual battle going on here folks. A battle we cannot see with eyes, but we can feel it in our souls. Every time you give into sin, or I give into to temptation, the enemy wins a little battle. (He has overcome the final battle, but the little ones in between, can be lost) and who are we fighting for? The cause of CHRIST! And, how do we fight? By being kind when the world says hate. But following through when everyone else says "why bother..." By answering honestly when everyone around is full of lies. By speaking the truth in love when everyone else seethes with hate. BY doing the good you ought to do through Christ JESUS...for Him, and IN HIS STRENGTH. That last part, the "how" of how we do this follow through is often where we trip up. We start to be good, to do good, to say good and to pay up in our own strength. This is the biggest mistake we could ever make. Why do you feel empty when you try to do the good you desires to do? Because my friends, we do it in our human strength. Our desire is good....Our longings to bless others is wonderful...but in who's strength will we accomplish these things....

It's time say this: I will never be the perfect mom I long to be. I will never be the best wife I want to be. I will never do all the good I want to do: IF I DO IT IN MY OWN STRENGTH. I will accomplish dimes when I could be raking in millions. I will settle for dirt, when I could be walking in gold!! do you hear what I say my friends? We sell ourselves so short when we say "yes" to anything, and try to carry out our "yes" on our own. On our own, we are POWERLESS. But IN HIS strength???? OH MY FRIENDS!!!! We will run and not grow weary!!! It is not say that we will not ever fall when we are depending on Him, for we are still in the flesh here on earth, and sadly, the flesh is weak. But, take heart!!! HE HAS OVERCOME THIS WORLD!

So what then shall I say in response to this?

" Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves, do what it says!!" James 1:22

And how will we do this?

" But the wisdom that comes from heaven, is first of all pure, then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy, and GOOD FRUIT, impartial and sincere...." James 3: 17

"Come near to God and HE will come near to you!" -James 4:8

"Submit yourselves, then, to God- Resist the devil, and he will flee from you!" James 4:7

AND MY GOD, WILL MEET ALL YOUR NEEDS ACCORDING TO HIS GLORIOUS RICHES IN CHRIST JESUS!!!! -Philippians 4:19

That last verse my friends, is it. That is your "how" your "when" your ability. He will be the gas, that makes you run forever, and the brick that keeps the tower strong. The Pillar! The glue that holds it all together, and the map that makes sense of all things confusing. Your Guide. Your helper. Your sustainer. Your peace. Your ability to conquer when strength runs dry and your words when you have none. Your patience when none is to be found. Your wisdom for all situation. (when you, and I surrender that we know NOTHING at all...or that we cant do a thing at all in our strength) for I know that I know that I know, without Christ, I am powerless. absolutely short of everything I need. Dry. Empty and done. That is my condition, my state...without Him.

"And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding with guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:7

Thank you Jesus. Without you, I am nothing. Amen.

Don't just be alive, LIVE!

Did you know it's possible to be alive, (breathing) but not actually have life in you? Have you ever looked into another's eyes and just made note to yourself that there was no light in their eyes? No spark? No joy? No hope? No life? I have seen this so many times and it breaks my heart. Let me tell you WHY it breaks my heart. Because God has so much in store for us than we could ever imagine, and so often in this life, we sell ourselves short. We choose paths in life that cause us pain, bring us down and make us miss out on the life that God truly intended for us. He loves us, He wants His best for us, (Jeremiah 29:11) and regardless of what others tell you, it IS better when we are walking in His path. (not pathS) There is but one way to be truly/fully alive. And that is through Christ. I have learned this by my own personal experience and each and every day as I wake up and see the light of day and the joy that it is mine through Christ Jesus my Lord fills my eyes and ears and flows out of my mouth simply overwhelms me. That He would be mindful of me, He who created me just as I am, to live, just as He intended. Open your mouths wide that He may fill it....

And yet...we often do not choose to take this offer of life. This option that fills. The choice that gives life to our body's fulfillment to our existence and joy to our steps. We say to ourselves that what we have in store for ourselves is better. That what God may plan for us is too scary because it's too unknown. (or is it even real we may ask??) But I assure you...walking on your own will very soon prove to you that you are missing something. It's something that you always feel like you are just one fry short of a happy meal, or one ace short of a full deck. The dots just don't quite connect (only by an inch or two) and the thoughts that come and go, just seem a little disconected. It's because my friend, you were not made to be in charge of your own life. You were not created to be your own god, you were not formed to walk in your own strength. The breath that God breathed into you, was created to sustain you. It's His breath that is to breath life into your bones and make you ALIVE. Alive in Christ. That is what we are to be. Not alive in self. We are to die to self! Again, to die to self is gain. To live for Christ, that is when we are alive. Paul says it well here:

"Command them to do good, to be RICH in good deeds, and to be generous and willing to share. In this way, they will lay up treasure for themselves as a firm foundation for the coming age, so that they may take hold of the LIFE that is TRULY ALIVE." - 1 Timothy 6:18,19

What was true in Paul and Timothy's day, is true for us. We still serve the God that is the same yesterday, today and forever. And it is still apparent that when we live for self, emptiness soon follows. And when you have another look at you in the eyes, what would you like them to see? Truth? Depth? Godly understanding? Godly wisdom? Hope? Joy? Contentment? Peace? Those are things I pray my eyes translate to others. Rather than what could be there if I did not choose to live and really be alive...things like: frustration, unsettled...discontent, lack of hope, absence of peace, restlessness with life, and a real look of being lost. We all are born lost you know. When we come, fresh from the womb, from the creators design, He gives us the choice to choose Him. To walk with HIM. TO take Him up on His offer to not just breath, but to be ALIVE. To not just gasp for air in our ability...but to breath in and out, to the fullest, the freshest air imaginable.( More than we can imagine actually) It's the difference between being on a machine to help you breath, or being able to breath freely while running a marathon. That is the huge gap between living life for ourselves and in our own strength, vs. living IN HIS strength, for HIS glory, in HIS plan...walking HIS path. So what do you say then to this? Where do place? Who's air is in your lungs? Yours, or His? Trust me friends...it's life or death.

And I Command you to.....LOVE???!!!

Haven't you ever found it strange that we are commanded to love? Love God...love people....this I get, but to be COMMANDED to love? I always wondered why....

And now I know. It comes naturally to us to love ourselves. No one has to teach us how to look in the mirror...(and flex) or smile, or to pucker our little 2 year old princess lips....but we all do this by default.

Why then when it comes to loving the one who CREATED us...why do we faultier, and why, when it comes to loving those CLOSEST to us, to we fail???

"Dear Friends- let us love one another, for love COMES FROM GOD. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love, does not know God. (wow) This is how God showed His love among us: He sent His one and only son into the world that we might live THROUGH Him....This is love: not that we loved God, but that He loved us...and sent His Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear Friends since God so loved us, we also ought to love one anther." - 1 John 7-11 AND

" THIS IS HOW WE KNOW WHAT LOVE IS...CHRIST LAID DOWN HIS LIFE FOR US." - 1 John 3:16

You may be sitting there going, "wow...that's a lot of love!" and if that is your thought, you are right. But something that I noticed today, that I have never really contemplated before is this: We know how to love by watching Him, and what He desires more than anything else in the world or our existence, is for us to love HIM, He who created, longs to be loved by HIS creation. He desperately wants us to think of His feelings, understand HIS emotions, and His characteristics, and then copy them, IN HIS STRENGTH. As I copy the things I see in Him, that out pour of love, will automatically begin to become what comes out of me. (perhaps not always so automatically) but it will begin to take place MORE than if I did not focus on Him, learn from Him, study Him, adore Him....for that is what loving someone is. You love what they do, what they say, who they are, what they stand for...and when you love them fully, it shows in how you adore them with your speech, with your actions, and your respect.

Do I ADORE and LOVE Christ this way? Do I LONG for the next time He utters a word to me? DO I wait breathlessly as He prepares His next lesson for me? Do I study the things that He loves, and do consider important what He calls important? teach me how Lord...

This is how we know what love is, Christ gave up His life. Sacrifice. Love is sacrificial. Love is NOT always easy. Sometimes it is. Sometimes it's easy to give up our time, our possessions and resources for another, but usually, it's a stretch. And it's supposed to be, for we are not to be doing this in our own strength. We are to love in the strength that He lovingly gives to us. He will supply what we need, when we need in great amounts, that runeth over...and we will be equipped. I love that.

Thank you Lord...

"Do not be suprised my brothers, if the world hates you.." -1 John 3:13

So let me get this straight, I am to love those that hate me? This is what I do to you Lord... I am sorry...

What I have gleaned from this most, is this: I am to love God will all my heart, soul and mind. TO desire and LONG to know more of Him!!! To LONG to gaze into HIS face, His eyes, and wait breathlessly for HIM to open His mouth and utter a word for me. Increase my faith oh Lord

I long to have hours of endless silence to sit at His feet...but since this world and life to do not allow me this, I steal away, buy and bargain for every still quiet moment I can have with my Lord and Savior to learn from Him, worship Him in all His glory...and yes...love Him. Teach me how to love...

For the way I understand the word love most likely does not even scratch the surface of what He means by it, but I am a student, learning from her teacher, her master. I am sheep, bleating for her shepherd...I am a soul...longing for His instruction. And from what I know of God, He does not leave His children hanging. He meets their needs...He feeds His sheep...and lifts those who bowed down.

AND I turn, I will turn around and extend that love, that type of love to all who bump into me. that love would be written on my face, laced in my words, and seen through my actions. That I wouldn't have to proclaim..."I'm loving you..." but that it would just be known...show me how Lord..

This is how we know what love is.

"There is no fear in love, but perfect love drives out fear because fear has to do with punishment The who fears is not made perfect in love..." 4:18

I could get all into how His love is sacrificial and it is not self seeking, but we see that plainly by His demonstration of love with His death on the cross...

So how do we love? With the love we learn to love with as we admire Him. How to we admire Him? By spending time with Him. How do we spend time with Him and get to know Him? By getting in the word! By opening up that Bible on our shelf...and reading it. That is how we know Him and in turn, learn to love Him. For we cannot help but love a man who died for us. Who gave up His everything...for us. This is how we know what love is. So now we know. What do we do with this? That my friend is up to me, and to you....

Commanding Officer

You are a soldier. You live a life of rules, (of sorts) and one that is devoted to a cause. You believe in your cause, or wouldn't be here. You wouldn't answer to who you answer to if you didn't care about what you stood for. The things that go on around you that do not involve your days orders, do not matter so much as getting done what you commanding officer has instructed you to do. The rest, is just civilian affairs....and you do not work to please the sidelines...you work to please the one in charge. If you get distracted by what takes place from the left or to the right, you may loose sight of whats ahead. And if you allow the civilian affairs to steal your attention, your affection, and you concern...you may end up dead.

That's what Paul tells me in 2 Timothy 2: 1-4

You then my son, be strong in the grace that is in Christ Jesus. And the things you have heard me say in the presence of many witnesses, entrust to reliable men who will also be qualified to teach others. Endure hardships with us like a good soldier of Christ Jesus, No one serving as a soldier gets involved in civilian affairs- he wants to please his commanding officer.

So as a believer, what does it mean to get distracted by "civilian affairs?" Anyone who is not God, is a civilian in our world. It means, that if we allow Satan to distract us with petty fights, annoyances, grievances and people who disrupt our peace, and therefore take our eyes off of the orders Christ has given us to follow, we are becoming a soul who heeds the civilian more than our commanding officer. I had a situation like this earlier this week that I had to repent of. I knew it was wrong the second I did it. I said it anyway though. I thought it anyway. I allowed another person to "get" at me. (unbeknownst to them) and allowed Satan to use my mouth as I sinned. I said something that probably caused the civilian some lack of peace in their mind as well. It was wrong, and I was distracted by what was not important. GOD has bigger plans for my mouth, my thoughts and my motives. He wants me to devote all those things, to HIM alone. To not waste time, energy or breath being annoyed, disgruntled...or judgemental. God wants my affections to be for the things that He stands for..the cause of Christ: to endure hardship for Him with uprightness...to be in pursuit of HOLINESS so that I can represent the cross of Christ in the way it deserves to be represented. I am a solider. I have no room for distractions. If I get distracted, my enemy might win. He may get a foothold. I have to always be on my guard, and stand in HIS strength alone, so that even when I slumber, I have the knowledge that I am doing what is honoring to my commanding officer. He is the one I live for, fight for, speak for and die for. It's for the cause of Christ, it's what I base all I am, all I do, all I say, and all I consider worthwhile. It's extreme. I know. It's intense. For sure. But it's the only thing that's real. It's the only thing that matters...and it's the only thing that at the end of the day strengthens me in my weakness, revives me in my struggle, awakens me from my sleep and feeds my hunger. Who is my commanding officer...Jesus Christ...Prince of PEACE...everlasting JOY....exalted ONE! mighty to SAVE...THE ONE WHO WINS. The only one I can trust...follow and listen to without FEAR. I fear not the night, because I know whom I am in company with. I do shutter at the thought of death because I know who holds my life...I do not quake at the sound of darkness, because I know who wins in the end. Soldier, do not loose hope...do not get distracted by things of this earth that do not matter. Trust God, follow HIS lead in ALL you do, ANSWER to HIM alone and there dear soldier, you will find your REST.

For Real?

Genuine. Honest. Transparent. Together those 3, they are the power clique of communication. The power punch of healthy relationships. Say what you mean. Mean what you say. Don't hint, don't mince, just say, and of course, say it ALWAYS laced in love.

I'm learning that when you say things "for real" and you say your genuine feelings, rather than than saying the thing that is (most likely) easier to say, but not as deep, you would be better off saving your breath. There is no time in this life to waste on not being genuine. On not being honest. On not being transparent, with those we love.

Tell me how you really feel.....how many times I have said that, and how many times have I heard that said to me? People want honesty...they want to know the root of the root of the source of the thing that drives us to say and act and be how we are.

Why are we the way we are? Don't make people dig for it...don't make them suppose or come to their own conclusions, don't be secretive...

Being mysterious is only cool in the movies. In real life, it just makes things complicated and confusing. Saying things that only make people suppose 1/2 truths and false perceptions, opens up door to miscommunication, and miscommunication KILLS relationships. Dishonesty, rips up roads to open, honest, relationships. Be for real folks. (and by folks, I mean me)

I think of all the trials my husband and I faced in our marriage early on, because I wasted so much time "beating around the bush" or "mincing my words" or telling half truths. If I was mad, I'd be passive aggressive, if I was sad, I'd milk it. If I was unhappy, I'd manipulate a situation to get more of what I wanted....It is my prayer that this will no longer be my pattern. God wants me to be genuine. God wants me to be sincere. God delights in honesty, God delights in transparency. Don't be fake. Don't be secretive, don't be hidden. (on any level)

Opening yourself up to honesty is hard, I'm not going to lie. It's like having the lights on full blast when your trying to sleep. It's shining lights on places you'd rather keep dim. It's kind of comparable to me, as standing in the middle of the coffee shop, naked. (not something I've ever done, or plan on doing) but it's a fair comparison. It's baring your soul to the ones you love and trust, because this in turn opens up their hearts to you more, and of course, your relationship will go deeper than it was before. And God desires for His children to have deep, rich, full filling relationships. Relationships like this fill a soul up, and are very instrumental in furthering the Kingdom. I personally want to be apart of furthering the kingdom in my marriage.(and other relationships with friends and family ) I want to honor the Lord with all the honest words that exit my mouth...and I want my TRUE feelings to be an open book of honest love to those I love the most...(and those I'm learning to love)

God will use folks who open themselves up in honest, transparent ways.

And if this feels like it's going to be hard...fear not:

"I can do everything through HIM who gives me strength..." -Phil. 4:13

Do you believe you could do this? Lets take it home...here is a scenario any married, (or unmarried) person could identify with. You come home, you know you are upset because of "this" reason, and because your husband did "that" and "it" was unacceptable to you. And now, you are going to make them pay. After all they should just know what they did to you. You shouldn't have to tell them. It's plain as day. (to you) BUT...if we follow Christ's example of being honest in all circumstances, we would come to our husband/wife/friend/sister/brother and say..."I am mad, because I feel like you did this to me..." and wait to hear what they say....do not say what you say in anger, say it honestly, lovingly, and in the most transparent way you can possibly think of. Don't mince it, don't even hesitate...just say it, say it, say it.

It is the unsaid that traps us. It is the unspoken that muddies the waters of our lives. We were called to be apart of something HOLY and this is our chance to do just that. So whatever it is that you think that you could never possibly tell them...tell them. Tell the root. Tell them the base. Tell them the truth. And watch as Christ takes something muddy, confusing, and dishonest to a place of crystal clear transparency. Is it going to be perfectly smooth and easy? Probably not...but not working through the mud, is only going cause more hardness and distance. Pretty soon, the mud will dry to clay, and the clay will turn to rocks. And once you have rocks where water should be, it is going to be quite feat to make the waters flow clear again. (He could do this however for He is God) *He specializes in this sort of a healing, :) But our prayer should be that it does not get to this point. So today, I take a step into the pools of honesty. And when I am called, I will lovingly, open my mouth, and wait to see what God has come out of it...or rather, how He translates what I have inside. Thank you Lord, you are so GOOD!!!!!

My worst enemy

Is me. Or, at least my selfish ambitions. SOOOO much good can be done. So many people to that God puts in our path to encourage, help and lift up. However, when I do these things, who may I ask am I letting take the glory? Yes...this stings a bit doesn't it. I know. I realize now that much of what I do, is so that people pick up and say, "wow, that was really nice, OR, man, she's a great person..." and although it is not a bad thing to have people notice that you are doing nice things, but it's who gets the thanks and honor for doing these nice things. And if my answer is anything other than to point my fingers heavenward and say, "my creator..." then I am doing what I do, out of selfish ambition...and this defeats the purpose of all the goodness done. Man can even be prideful in the fact that they are selfless. Isn't' that amazing? We are rotten to the core, and it's only by the grace of God that we have any goodness in our lives as all. If you think for one second that man is "basically good..." think again. Think no further than perhaps, what was your first thought of this morning? Perhaps, what you get yourself at the store, or how you could manipulate your morning so that it would be the best for you....*raises hand* that's me anyways.

I'm always thinking about, me. Selfish ambition. Why do I do what I do? Am a resounding symbol or clanging gong? Am I ringing my bell in the market place as I drop my tithe into the bucket? Am I saying, "men, look at me, as I help this person, as I hold this door, as I lift this soul up?" do I do it so the eyses of the world to see? Or am I doing it privately, not letting my left hand know what my right hand is giving? Am I silently serving the homeless and needy? OR do I call up all my friends, or put on Facebook what I am doing that day, so that others may "happen to see" what I am up to. Selfish ambition. Oh how I loath my selfish ambition.

For in selfish ambition, there is a motive that serves self behind all that I do. There is a twinge of "what can I can get out of this" in all I say and do to help others. This is not the gift that honors my Father in heaven. And the reason He does not like it is not because He wants me to be a doormat, or that He wants me to be unthanked and miserable, no, quite the contrary, what He wants is to further the Kingdom the most, and the way He does this, is by having a soul who is desiring to bring the most glory to the Father, with the least selfish ambition that puffs up and makes prideful the do-er. I do not want to be a prideful servant. (oxymoron?) I am to be like Christ, how do I do this? IN HIS STRENGTH. How do I immitate the one I was created to serve? I watch Him I read of His ways, I breath is ways in and then back out again, I remain in Him at all times, and I strive to make my every move look like His. The only way I will know what His moves look like, is by studying Him. And to study Him is the greatest way to honor someone. When you "obsessed" with someone, and you want to be "just like" them, what do you do? You dress like them, talk like them, eat what they eat, and walk how they walk. Yes. You desire to become them...and in doing these things, you emualte the person they are. This is not some hollywood obsession, or some disturbing description, this is a life of a Christ-follower. I love my Lord so much I want to be just like Him. And in doing so, I pray my selfish ambition get smaller, and my appearance becomes more like the Father...and all who walk in this way, will be more like Christ when their hearts are right, their motives are pure, and the glory is rightly placed.

Either way, let selfish ambition have no part in me O Lord, that I can be the servent you want me to be, the do what I ought to do to bring you the most glory, to serve you in the best way, and the further the kingdom, not for my benefit, (for I know you will give me peace beyond measure and blessings in the form of joy and contentment) that will last much much longer than the raise of an eyebrow or a pat on the back from man. I want to want, what you want. I want to do, what you want me to do, ALL FOR YOUR GLORY...and nothing else. My reward is heaven. My joy is knowing that I am the child that pleases her Father...and my gift is that I am sealed, and yours. Amen

Words To Live By

The Christian life can be hard...can I get an amen? BUT: The truths we NEED to have to live a life that is peaceful, joyful, fulfilling and God-glorifying is all written down for us...thank you Lord... And, in case any of you readers do not have the time to sit and look up each individual verse that will give you hope for your day, can I do it for you? It will be my gift to you, no work involved on your part my friends, just read on, let HIS scripture wash over you, encourage you and give you fuel for your day.... If a message of how to stay strong cloaked in love and grace from the Father, read on.

We first understand that we are sinners...(not so warm and fuzzy but vital for our faith) and so, once we have accepted this, we can read His word with and understanding that He gave everything (His life) for us, (sinners) because of His love for us, we are free. (that's my disclaimer)

But the scripture declares that the whole world is a prisoner of sin...so that what was promised, being given through faith in Jesus Christ, might be given to those who believe...Galatians 3:22

Because you are sons, God sent the Spirit of His son into our hearts (wow) the Spirit who calls out, "Abba! Father!" So you are no longer a slave to sin, but a SON! and since you are a son, God has made you also an heir. (WOW) Galatians 4:6,7

But, now that you know God,- or rather are KNOWN BY GOD-how is that you are turning back to those weak and miserable principles? Do you wish to be enslaved by them all over again? ( a call to watch our step, and stay strong for Him!) Galatians 4:9

It is for freedom that Christ has set us free! Stand FIRM! Then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery. Galatians 5:1

But by faith we eagerly await through the Spirit the righteousness for which we hope, For in Christ Jesus neither circumcision (going through the motions) or uncircumcision (not going through the motions) has any value. The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through LOVE! YOU were running a good race, WHO cut in and kept you from obeying the truth? (a reminder from Paul that this life is a race, and the enemy longs to step in and distract us enough to take our eyes off of Christ, so we miss out on the goodness of life with Him)

Galatians 5: 5-7

So I say, live by the Spirit and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature. (not because we are rules based but because we have found that this way of life is the most fulfilling, brings us the most hope for each day, peace and a heart overflowing with joy!) For the sinful nature desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the sinful nature. They are in conflict with each other, so that you do not do what you want. (because what we want, is not what is best for us) BUT if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under law.

Galatians 5:16-17a

But the FRUIT (goodness) of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control. Against such things there is no law. (Don't we all want to have people in our lives with these gifts??) Those who belong to Christ Jesus have CRUCIFIED the sinful nature, with it passions, and desires. Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other.

- Galatians 5:22-26

Do not be deceived. God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. The one who sows to please his sinful nature from that nature will reap destruction. (no-one is exempt) the one who sows to please the Spirit will reap ETERNAL LIFE. Let us not become weary of doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Galatians 6:7-9

May I never boast except in the cross of our LORD Jesus Christ... Galatians 6:14

The truth is, that once we understand that Christ died for the ungodly....and without Him we walk through the shadow of death alone, and in HIM there is life everlasting because of His FREE gift of salvation, if only we accept that we are NOT our own gods, and we live for something bigger than ourselves, we will have all that God can bless us with and more. The peace that comes with freedom in Christ is greater than any earthly treasure we could ever hope to have. I am not saying this as though I've got it all figured out, and I am the most imperfect of all people. I know this. I know without Christ with me for even a second I can fall on my face, and commit the worst sin of my life. I am so imperfect, but by the grace of God, I get to live this life full of His goodness, richness in hope, joy and peace...and I get to live with the knowledge and understanding that when He returns, I'm going with Him. I don't really think that I can fully wrap my mind around what this really means, but let me tell you friends is not a matter of preference, its a matter of life and death. His goodness overwhelms me, His life delights me, and His joy encamps around my soul....my existence is one of worth only because of Him, and my lips will forever move to bring glory to His name (not because I am any good, but because His goodness lives inside me) Thank you Lord...and friends, I pray these verses encourage, challenge and inspire you to see yourselves as you really are, bought with a price, a gift beyond words, and our lives can be an offering to Him.

"Ancient words, ever true. Changing me, and changing you, we have come, with open hearts, so let the ancient words impart..."

Dear God, I'm really tired....

Have you ever started a prayer out this way? I feel as though I do a lot. I just keep getting these reminders that He cares about everything, that He is apart of everything, and that everything, everything, has deeper reasons behind why they go on. It may not seem to be this way at the time, the fact that you crashed your car, stubbed your toe and pinched your finger may just seem like terrible things that happen to you throughout your day, but in the end, to look for God in these things is a good think. I'm not saying that we are going to love the fact that these things happen, or that we are to always think so hard as to exhaust ourselves in our normal daily activities, but nothing seems to happen just "because." God uses all things, for the good of those who love Him.

" The Lord is righteous in all His ways and loving towards all he has made." Psalm 145:17

God is perfect. This world is not. We are not, our lives are not...the things that happen to us on a day to day basis are not. But God can use not perfect things, to perfect us. Sometimes it hurts, sometimes, it does not make sense, but when we rely on Him to reveal His ways to us, to focus on what we might learn from our difficult circumstances, we go deeper than we had been before the accident, trial, or complication came into our life. It's kinda scary sometimes, and many times, I decide I'm NOT going to look deeper or dig into the difficult circumstance so that I can avoid having to learn something else. Because honestly, I get tired!!! But the deal is friends, God knows this, He knows me and all my weakness, AND He knows what I can handle, and how much of it I can handle, and He promises to never give me MORE than I can handle. SO let me get this strait for myself,: I trust God. I know He is my everything, that He is in everything that goes on in my life, that He can use all things that go on in my life for His good purposes, and His good purposes are the best for me in my life. In other words, He's got this, I'm held, and He is going to help me through whatever it is that I feel is complicating my life. And through that process, He's going to make me look more like Him, experience Him in a deeper way, and show me new ways that I can experience this life, with His grace that is all sufficient for me, in a much better, much deeper way. Yeah, I guess I do want that. I just sometimes don't like the means by which this deepening takes place, but I've learned to run to Him more quickly, and give up my control almost instantly, because in the end, I'm better off being submissive to the Father who has my best at heart. He's one I can trust, in fact, He's the only ONE that I can trust, and if I trust Him this fully, don't you think that what He brings into my life is going to be the best for me? And if I learn from that best, (regardless of how challenging it appears) that I am going to be a more peaceful, happier, joyful, life-filled person in the end? He looks at me as His child, He loves me and wants all the best for me, but He also sees my flaws, and longs to lovingly extract them because He knows if this extraction takes place, I will have more peace in my life. And more peace= less tired. And isn't my exhaustion the whole reason I came to Him in the first place? He cares about everything. Everything. I feel safe in that. Do you?