The Great Unknown

Many I times I feel as if The Lord is asking me, "Will you go there, do that, say this, even if you don't know the outcome or the reason why?"
Will I trust Him when I can't see beyond my nose? Will I walk forward when He tells me to come, just because I hear my Fathers voice, and I trust that more than I trust the security of the known? The answer lies in one simple answer. It's either "yes" or "no".
Think about a child. Consider how they are, they come when you call because they hear their mother or Fathers familiar voice. They associate trust with that voice and whether or not they know why, they come a'runnin. I know my children are that way. Listen to what Jesus says in Matthew 18:3
"And He said: Truly I tell you, unless you CHANGE and become like little children, you will never enter the Kingdom of Heaven."

It's doesn't mean we need to forget our manners, start wearing diapers again and picking our noses! He is relating to the way children are faith-filled by nature. Trusting without wavering. This is the quality we are to possess in increasing amounts. Jesus wants my heart to follow after His voice whether I "get it" or not. Whether it makes sense in my mind, or not. HE wants me to follow.  This is not easy to do as adults. We have our roots down deep quite often, and it's very uncomfortable to change. but we must  if He says so. If out of the dark night and stormy seas, you hear is voice call out to you to come, you must. I must.  There is such a vulnerability that comes with living the Christian life. God constantly asks us to be open before Him. Be able and ready to bare all if asked. To surrender all we are to His mighty hand and rest in the shadow of His wings.

The reason we can be at peace in the great unknown is because of the pure and simple fact that we know He is trustworthy. Not only is He trustworthy, He is sure, constant and as study as the rising sun.
(which He created by the way)
And in all honesty, wouldn't we rather rest in the trustworthy unknown than the safe ground that we have no business being on?
God may not always feel as comfortable as our well worn sweatshirt, but HE is the best (the better) choice to find comfort in, even if His comfort finds us the great unknown place of life.
I trust Him enough to be in the place the I do not recognize because I know without a shadow of a doubt that He is with me. And He is better than anything familiar I will ever hold. It's scary to admit this, but at the same time, it's not. It's scary because my flesh likes what is well known. We are by nature habit forming and our lives can become one big habit, if we are left to our demises. But God is not willing to let me live each day in my comfortable pattern. He sometimes asks us to change because change is essential if we are going to grow.
The tiny seed in the ground does not become the beautiful flower until she is placed in a dark, cold, place. The poor little seed must feel so alone down there a foot beneath the surface. She might cry saying, "Lord, I can't even see the sun from down here." But it's as if The Lord says, "Just wait sweet little seedling. You will see the sun in all it's glory. Just wait for the right time." SO the seed sits. She suddenly begins to feel her familiar shell crack. The shell she had since she was created! She gasped at the horror of it all. Her shell, her nice safe shell, was cracking and revealing a very tender, vulnerable little stem that began to push through the dirt. As the days and weeks passed, the little seed didn't even know what "normal" felt like anymore. SO much of her had changed, she couldn't even tell, was she up? Was she down? She didn't know, so once more she cried out to the One who sees..."Lord she cried! Where are you? I don't even recognize myself anymore!" "I see you!"  He replies..."you are where you need to be. Trust me. I'm watching over you." SO she stayed in the ground. Till at last the little seed felt a new sensation, one glorious day, she felt her little face break through the surface of the deep, dark ground. " The Sun! The SUN SHE CRIED! " She was overwhelmed, she hadn't felt warmth for so long. She gazed up at it's beauty. "Lord!" She cried with joy..."I can see the sun..." The Lord smiled. "Now do you see little seed? " The little seed who had now become a little flower replied, "Yes Lord, I see. " "Trust me He said...and grow.." So she grew. She grew up to the sky as high as could. Each day the sun would warm her leaves, and in the evening the rain would water her roots so she was able to grow more the next day. All the while she remembered her dark days that she spent back when she was just a little seed. She couldn't believe what God had done, and how He made her grow.
If she had stayed a little seed, none of this would have ever happened....

I want to be, where He wants me. Because I know with all my heart and soul...God knows best. Who knows where that will be in 10 years. Who knows where that will be tomorrow. But regardless, I know, He knows. And that my friends, is all I need to know.

Yesterday

We have all said it, "I wish it was like it 'used' to be." Maybe not about every aspect of our yesterday, but really, in some cases, yesterday can appear better than what we are dealing with right now. It's easy for grown ups, like you and I to wish for the carefree days of our youth, or childhood. When we would run barefoot in the open field and play games with our friends, not having a care in the world and letting our parents deal with all the issues of real life. I'm guilty sometimes of wishing for such things to return. Sometimes, it's just remembering good memories. And there is nothing wrong with that. But other times, these memories sit in my gut, and resonate until discontentment with today begins to take deep root. Suddenly today begins to look less and less appealing, and then I want to escape. It affects my outlook on life and my outlook on reality. Dreams are called dreams for a reason, they are dreamy! Warm, delightful, and rose colored. Dreams are a lot like memories. So wether we are dreaming of a better today, or living in the past, either one can become a stumbling block. On one hand, dreams are great. They push me forward towards something I want to attain, a goal I want to reach, but they also cause me to not live in today if I take my dream too far.
Why all this focus on memories and dreams?  I will tell you why.
Something concrete is this: Jesus is with you right now. Something real: God created you to live each day, as each day comes. Something to stand on: Today is the day you are living in. There is something raw, real and brave about looking at today, square in the face and saying, "IN all this I am more than a conqueror through Christ Jesus." Romans 8:37
It's easy to slip into "yesterday" because it's well worn, well known, and comfortable. Unlike today, today can feel scary. It's the unknowns of today that can cause some people to simply pull the covers up over their faces and roll over into what feels safe.
Is this the type of life that God has planned for us? I would venture to say NO. (although a nice lazy day is welcome once and while.) But really, I believe that although each day and it's unknowns are frightening sometimes, the unknowns are also amazing opportunities to see God do something amazing.
I wish I could list all the times throughout every day, when God surprised me with how HE worked it out, all for His glory, and my good. When I let God have my thoughts, my ways, and my days, I am always astounded with what He does with them. HE turns something meek, gray and ugly into something amazing I could have never imagined. Can life be scary? Yes. Can the unknowns be dismal? Yes, in the flesh they can. Or, we can turn that glass around, and see it the way God does. He gives us roughly what, 12 to 15 hrs each day, to do, and be and live out His plans...then we rest hopefully...
What shall we do with these wakeful hours? Will we run towards the light with our eyes set fast on His truth? Will we pray without ceasing as we come upon a curve that we cannot see around? Will we pray for strength as we see the bumps in the road ahead? As we anticipate what will come up next? Will we hold to the faith when we see a shadow land ahead? Or will we turn around and run back to what seems sunny, and comfortable?
I would challenge you friend, don't turn around. Don't say, "why were the old days better." Press on. Keep the course. Fight the good fight. Keep your gaze fixed with His. And walk forward into the unknowns, no matter how your hands may tremble, know that He will not ask you to walk through something He does not plan help you finish.
A person needs to only spend a few moments in the Psalms to see that God asked David to go through some dark valleys, but David is quoted as saying, "with God I can scale any wall." And for David, those were literal walls! The walls or bumps we may face are not always literal, but they are just as trying. But the same God who helped David, is with us today. Isn't that amazing and comforting?
SO friend, don't despair if today feels hard. Don't turn on your heals and run back to yesterday, even though it feels better, it's not. Yesterday is over. Remember it with fondness, but then turn your face towards the sun and press on. Strength for today, and bright hope for tomorrow. That's what Jesus gives us.

I'll close with the Psalmist's words, "Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, your rod and your staff, they comfort me. " Psalm 23

David got it right. He knew that no matter the dark valley he walked through...he did not walk it alone.

Saving The Best For Last----(The Ultimate)

SO there it sits. The biggest present under the tree. The biggest gift brought to the birthday party. The long awaited thrill at the end. We usually save it...we want to savor it. Make it last. Prolong the enjoyment.
So we save it for last.
God however, didn't do that.
He gave us His best, first.
And everything else that follows, is really just a bonus.
What was the best, that we got first? His name is Jesus.
His gift was salvation that came in the form of Jesus.
But that was over 2000 years ago. I didn't even get to see that... (My flesh said)
But my Spirit counters with unexplainable joy that reinstates what scripture says to me.
"For God so loved the world that He gave His only son, that whoever believes in Him will not perish but have ETERNAL life. " John 3:16

Please don't miss this. What implications does this have for us and how should this affect our daily living. Does it affect our daily living?
I'll tell you what I have been processing in regards to this...
Over the past few days I have been focusing a lot what I have been praying for. How I pray, and what I ask for reflect how I really perceive the truth that HE has already given me His best.
If I believe that He has already given me His very best, I will pray with a thankful heart. Even when my circumstances would otherwise cause me to be less than thankful.  It's the reason that Paul and Silas could sing while being chained in prison. It's the reason that a widow who loves Jesus can smile through her tears of grief. Because she knows without a shadow of a doubt that #1 her future rests secure, and also that her Father has already given her His best.
What I have been telling myself is this:
Even if I never receive a single earthly blessing, I am still considered the most blessed. Why? Because I have been accepted into His eternal Kingdom. Not by anything that I have done, but by the grace of God. (Ephesians 2:8,9)
I am blessed because He gave me Jesus.
I am covered by His promise.
What's in a promise really? It's the assurance that something will take place. It's an oath that future follow through will come. I have His promise of eternal life. I have His promise of redemption for my sins. I have His promise that I am fully covered by His grace. That's quite a promise.
And still I allow my heart to become disheartened by outward circumstances, things that I wish were different, and desperately searching for more promise from Him. MORE PROMISE? How could I? I've been given the best gift first. The biggest, shiniest, purest and most lovely gift has already been given to me. I have it in my possession!!! Or Rather, I am possessed by it!
God has been teaching me throughout the years in varying degrees of understanding in regards to this truth that surrounds His promise. His ultimate promise. There is a reason people use the phrase, "That was the ultimate!!" implying, it does not get any better.
Jesus is the ultimate. The gift and promise of eternal life is the ultimate gift. The rest, anything that may follow, is just icing on a tiny cake. It still tastes good, but it pales in comparison to the gift we just opened.
Does God still give us good things on this earth? Yes He does. Why? Because HE is a loving Father who likes to see His children enjoy good things HE gives them.

If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!  (Matthew 7:11)

But it's not the extras that make us content. It's not the hope for the stocking stuffers that bring the real and ultimate smile to our face. NO. It's the gift we received that exceeded our wildest dreams. 

In conclusion I would say this: my hope, does not lie in what God will give me for I know that God already gave me the ultimate gift. Jesus. And for every day from here until the day He calls me home I get the opportunity to experience, enjoy and get to know my gift better. It is the gift that is better understood over time, because the gift will change us and make us more and more like the giver. We often receive this gift without really understanding the great cost of the gift. But as we grow to know the gift and the giver more and more, we are drawn to live a life in thankfulness to Him. For we see what it cost, and we see how precious it is. 

SO here is this gift. 

And what can I say but thank you? I live my life in thanks, offering all I am, for it's all I have. Knowing, what HE gave, is the best I will EVER receive.   

Things That Change

If a person sat down and made a list of all the things that change in life, the list would be quite extensive. Really because people change. You've heard it a thousand times I'm sure, when a person says, "O we used to be close, but we've both changed so much..." People change, so relationships change.
Not to "diss" change however, because change can be quite good. Changing to healthier lifestyles...changing to better jobs, changing our outlook to be one of joy rather than glass half empty. There are so many changes throughout each day...
As I look back on my life, the changes or metamorphoses my life has gone through I really can only thank The Lord for. "It does not depend on mans desire or effort but on God's mercy." Romans 9:16
 I thank Him for two reasons. I thank Him because He is not OK with letting me sit in my ruts of sin and yuck that come out in my daily living. He wants to mold me, change me and make me to look  more like Him. SO for this change I am thankful. The other reason I am thankful is that HE NEVER CHANGES. It says so in God's word.

"Jesus Christ is the same Yesterday, today and forever." Hebrews 13:8

I will tell you why it is so important to me that Jesus never changes. My world around me changes second by second. It swirls, it clashes and it feels confusing sometimes. Can you see how comforting it is too look to One who NEVER changes. Who is as constant as the North Star? Who never is affected my moods, and seasons? One who is always the same, no matter what I do or say? He always forgives me when I seek His forgiveness. He always gives me grace to make it through each day. He always rescues me. He always fills me with Joy and encouragement when I ask. He never fails.
I have nothing or anyone else like Him in my life.
He is a firm foundation.
An anchor.

I love the visual of the anchor. So strong, so true. And it holds my rocking ship study in the storm. It's always present on deck, even when the waves are calm. He is my anchor who never changes.

Even the best of friends, or most dutiful of spouses can fail or change depending on their moods. But Jesus Christ never changes. He doesn't get crabby with me. He never get's annoyed. He never say's that "He's had it with me." I just marvel at the fact that this Savior is my Savior and I have His gift of long enduring with me all the days of my life.
Friends, do you know this unchanging One that I speak of? Is His name on your lips? For truly, my life would be in shambles if His name were not on my lips moment to moment.
I praise Him, I thank Him. I cry out to Him, I worship Him, and He is constant. Never moving. Always there.
You can change states, homes, clothes, jobs, cars and lives really...but Jesus will not change. He will however, change you. And hopefully we will come to look more and more like the constant One. SO if your world is swirling. If your everything seems to be upside-down and your life a short step away from "I don't even know anymore..." Then look to the unchanging One. He will be your beacon of hope in the dark night. Your lighthouse beckoning you though the storm. He will be the anchor for your stormy sea. He will just simply BE, when all else fails to be.

Get Me OUT Of Here

The other day I found myself (hypothetically) sitting on what felt like a cold dirt floor of rejection and disappointment, wondering what God was planning on doing with my life. And wishing that whatever it was that He had up His sleeve for me would hurry up and get into motion. I wanted to get on with it, whatever it was.
"stay here"   I felt Him sing over me.
Stay HERE? I thought?
We've all been there, wishing for something "better." Wanting something to be over.
God's timing is GOD'S timing. And no being on the face of the planet can rush that, whether through trial or through joy. Yes, I could get up and walk out of the life God beautifully painted for me, and leave the shelter of His protection and go out on my own, but that is not my desire either, and I know it.
I'm sure we have all heard every saying in the book in regards to waiting for God's timing, so I will spare you those. Let's just focus on where we are, and that it's OK to not know why you are where you are and just trust God.
Patient endurance comes to mind. Long suffering. Trusting when your not in the valley of vision. When you are in this place, it requires that you look, NO, stare...at ONE thing, one person rather, and that is Jesus.
If you take your eyes off of Him, the trial becomes all you can see.
Yesterday as I sat in church The Lord grabbed a hold of my heart, and encouraged me to look at the things I feared most...and I felt as though He asked me to contemplate, "what is the worst that could happen?" Well, what is the worst?
Most people would say "death". But quite honestly, is that the worst? Because death just leads me to my life with Jesus in eternity. "watching someone you love suffer... or suffering yourself.." Yes, but Jesus is long suffering, and suffering only draws you closer to the one you love. Ok what then? What do you fear? Not receiving what you wanted in life? I countered with, God takes care of my desire as long as I stay close to Him, my peace remains...
SO what then? What can the enemy do? If you kill me I get what I ultimately want, to be with Jesus, if you make me see suffering, I will only plunge to deeper depths of love and trust with Jesus. This is not just for me though friends, any believer has this promise and in this place, fear loses it's power over you!

And so with peace and confidence in the One who set me free, I can pray..
"Our Father in Heaven, Hallowed be thy name, your Kingdom come, Your WILL be done."
Matthew 6:9,10

This thought process takes an attitude that says, "I will remain." I will be here until God moves me forward. It's an attitude that surrenders the idea of being in control or driving the ship. It's an attitude that moment by moment commits it's way to Him.
So day by day, this is what I do.
It's not that I am not thankful for today, for I am. I think every person out there has to fight the urge to place their joy or hope in "the next thing." Where Jesus does call us to be hopeful in expectation of His return, and I am, but earthly desire steps in and begs me to try to find my hope in the next best thing. That is not where Jesus wants my hope to come from. My hope is, in you Lord.
SO yes Lord, HERE is where I will stay. Until you move me. Here is where I will be. Amen.

No Hope At All

Hope that is seen is no hope at all. Romans 8:24
"My Hope is built on nothing less than Jesus' blood and righteousness. "

"Faith is the assurance of things hoped for, and certainty of things unseen. " Hebrews 11:1

Often times we can't SEE our healing. We can't know with certainty by what we see with our eyes. Healing and hope are both inward. They are inside of us, in our hearts, in our minds and all HOPE that lasts, is hope that comes from God.
For a hope that fades is no hope at all.
Sure, even the most dutiful of believers can become disheartened from time to time. We can become distracted by the waves swirling around us and the storm that is rising up on all sides. We can become  distracted by the sea of sorrow that can toss us too and fro.
BUT wait....
A hope that is seen is NO hope at all. For who hopes in what he already has? No, instead we wait for it patiently.
SO clearly, our hope is not found in earthly blessing. For many of us have received many an earthly blessing.
A friend who recently sold her home, was her hope of her earthly existence dependent on that sale? No. She was thrilled and felt blessed when it did sell, but that is not where her hope lay. My other friend, received good news regarding her health. Was that where her hopes and ability to carry on lay? No. Was the news of her health amazing? Yes, and nothing short of it, but that was not her ultimate hope. God shows us His kindness and blesses us with good things, *and trials* (for trials bring us closer to Him and in doing so are blessings) but our hope does not rest in what He gives us on this earth.
My hope is found IN NOTHING LESS than Jesus' blood and righteousness. Meaning this: What HE did for me on the cross of calvary is the where my hope began. The day He saved the world of sin  is the day my hope was born. The day He breathed His last...is the day my redemption took flight. I have not, and can not rest in a single "hope" this world has to offer. This world is filled with good things, it's true...but this world and the goodness it sells me, cannot offer what the HOPE of Jesus Christ offers me.
SO when all the world fades away, my earthly hopes all dashed to bits, I can still have hope. Many would say, "impossible" and many others would nod, knowing through known experience that when all else fades away, the beauty of Christ and His hope shines stronger than the Bethlehem star. Jesus, the hope of the nations. The truth in each circumstances. You are the hope of heavens light on earth.
The moment that heaven opened and cracked the sky of sin and death, when dead Jesus' lungs refilled with air and He sat up in His tomb, Hell and death, and the grave, lost it's power. Hope rang out the truest song a soul has ever heard. And in the same way, "Abraham believed against all odds and so became the Father of many nations..." God's plan for each of us is sung over us in an hallelujah   chorus that rings out over all the earth as we place out trust in "hope not seen."  Why? Because HOPE does not disappoint when it is hope rightly placed. Hope placed on Jesus Christ and the redemptive work He did on the cross is a hope that will last, and last throughout all generations, until the day He comes back to get us. (which He will in a blink of an eye and all this world will pass before our eyes.)  Take any person, give them all they want, all they dreamed and hoped for, and then let them die with out Christ. Their death bed will NOT be a hopeful place. But take a battered and beaten disciple, who falls asleep as he is being stoned for his faith and he will die as Steven did in Acts, with the "face of an angel." The light of heaven cast upon his face. This is not the face of man who is hopeless! This is the face of a man who knows his hope is eternal. Which would you rather have? A hope that dies with you? Or a hope that lives on into eternity. For me the answer is clear.
My hope is heaven. My reward is Christ. My joy is wrapped up in Him, and all that He did for me, for you cannot, and will not be able to take that hope from me. ( I say to the enemy) for my hope is bound up in the resurrection of my Lord Jesus Christ. And so Jesus, on the night He was betrayed, took bread and when He Had broke it HE said, "this is my body which is broken for you." AND in the same way, HE took the cup saying, this my blood. AND in doing so, each time you take the bread and take the cup you proclaim the death of our Lord Jesus Christ. His death is my hope. And so in His death He set generation upon generation free from death.
Funny isn't it? His death, is my hope? For Hope that is seen in no hope at all. I rest my case, my life and my hope in what HE already accomplished for me. There is nothing HE could give me, or hand me that would be better than what He already did for me on the cross.

I've Got An Edge

Having an edge on something is the idea that you have a "leg up" on whatever situation your in...(my definition) Meaning: It puts you ahead somehow. It's your little secret with yourself.
An "the edge" can come in many shapes and forms. Depending on your own personal feelings, desires and weaknesses...the edge will look different.
For the gal who struggles with confidence, a little liquid courage before a party or social gathering may be her edge. For the one who struggles with sleep, a sleeping pill will both take the edge off, and give that person the edge they need to get through the night.
For the woman who wrestles with feeling good about herself, knowing that her husband makes a lot of money, will give her an edge. Truly, there are so many "edges" we stand on. Usually, our edges are not something we share with others, because we would hate to "lose our edge." The basic concept here is that we are depending on, or leaning on something to give us a boost.
I would say, coffee can be a harmless edge for millions of young mom's out there. :)
As long as we have our little edge to stand on, we're ok. Right? You know what I despise about my edges? I always fear I will lose them. Edges are not indispensable. Edges are not permanent. Edges are not eternal.
Lately, I've been on a path of releasing all my edges. All the things that are my vices, or the things that give me a leg up in my day or my life. Not because I am trying to be perfect, but more so because I am recognizing my bend towards being other-things dependent.
I have a friend who gave up clothes shopping for a year. I know this shouldn't be that difficult, but that idea made me think, "could I do that?"
I feel like as I have prayerfully and in a Spirit led way approached my edges, I have come to grips with the fact that I need only one edge. Want to know what it is?
The only edge I really need, is Jesus.
I will tell you what I REALLY mean by this.
But first I will tell you what I don't mean. :)
I don't mean, all medicine is bad.
I don't mean that all drinking is wrong.
I don't mean that having a little beauty secret is wrong
I don't mean that having someone help you is wrong.
I don't mean shopping is wrong.
I don't mean that you reader should drop all outside things for the sake of the edge.
Now, what I do mean is this:
My total dependence on being "ok" should not depend on anyone or anything but Jesus.
I used to have many little things that I relied on more than I relied on Christ. My Friday night wine. My ability to run. My ability to get pregnant easy....and so on and so forth.
I recognize that God, is GOD over everything. And the second I think that I have an edge over all powerful God, I am in great danger of missing out on not only seeing His glory, but also on seeing Him work in my life in a mighty way.
When I go into a social gathering relying on Christ's ability to give me confidence and words, I find great peace.
When I hit the mall knowing my happiness is not dependant on being able to get the latest and greatest.
I even found out through trial and error that I can in fact face the day without coffee and be just fine.
What am I? Some sort of  crazy person ??? :) No, I merely am making the point that Jesus has the ability to do anything in the life of a person who fully abandons themselves to His all powerful ability.
God in His grace and mercy as shown me that I am alright without all the stuff I thought I needed to be OK. I lost my edge, and in return I received a confidence, hope and joy that will not fail. That will not fade and will not run out.
For anyone who has ever relied on drugs or alcohol too heavily you will know and relate to the panic feeling that sets in when the bottom of the bottle or jar becomes more visible.
Let me assure you, Jesus will never run dry.
To the person who is filled with fear at the idea of not being able to purchase any more items for their home or closet...let me assure you, Jesus always satisfies. Always.
To the woman who's arms long to be filled with children to love...I assure you, motherhood is not even a stable edge. Jesus fills beyond words. Children grow up..leave home and even leave the country. If your dependence or edge is placed upon even your children, that too will fade. And then we are left wondering what we will do.
For the athlete who finds all her or his joy and worth in their ability to excell in athleticism. What happens when your foot or leg is injured? Will you lose all hope and not be able to carry on? It's healthy to examine these thoughts because it will reveal where our hope really lies! Is it in another person, pesonal ability or a substances? ALL these things will fade. I really admire my friend who realized that her joy does not come from being able to buy all the latest fashions. My hope is found in Jesus Christ. He is my edge. He is what holds me together when everything else is falling apart.
And HE can be yours too! He is the edge that all people can have, and share.
I will also add, Jesus is the only edge who does not feed on self. Because we did nothing to deserve Jesus, and we can not earn Him. We can't spend more to get Him, and we cannot work harder to get Him. He is the only edge we recieve by no works or power of our own. Which is why He is the only edge that is perfect.
Hopefully these words have encouraged you.

Grateful

I would be lying if I said my heart has always been grateful. I would be lying if I said I never have shaken my fist towards heaven. But lately something has shifted in my thinking. Lately, my heart has been moved by the sudden awareness and reality that God is fighting for me. I can't always put into words the battles that wage in the heart of a person who is trying desperately to serve God, but keeps getting distracted by the stark reality that life can be hard.
And yet, is life really that hard? Are my days filled with turmoil and sorrow? Everyone has their idea of what "as bad as it can get" looks like. And thank goodness we don't live by human understanding or judgment because it would be a wishy washy, no real standard type of life then. But I was reminded by someone I love that everyone has something that they could say, "I've got it worse." And quite frankly, this life is not a race of "who has is worse off." Although sometimes I live as such. But that is not the way God intended for me to live my days. Truly, God does not even want my eyes to be placed on my issues or "problems." He is the one who is to be handling my struggles. SO that I can live freely to serve Him, with both hands raised. My hands have been not only NOT raised, they have been covering my eyes in my attempts to hide from the things I feared and felt sorrowful over. I can only imagine how happy the enemy was at that moment, as he watched me, sad, afflicted, seemingly alone and covering my eyes, shielded from seeing all that GOD had for me.
We all have those moments, but praise God that HE is not willing to let me stay there. I don't know what I was expecting out life, but "this" was not what I was imagining. That's what is what I said to myself when no one was looking. Not always did I feel that way, but honestly, when things got "rough" in my mind my thinking would land there. Can anyone find the flaw in my thinking? Well for starters, my thinking was placed on earthly things. My thinking was on myself, and lastly, my thinking was not on Christ.
My thinking was selfish. My thinking was narrow. And my thinking excluded the pure and simple fact that God can use the ordinary to do extraordinary things.
My life, as small as it may be, can and is being used by a all powerful God. When I confessed my sin of focusing on myself so much, I realized a few things, the world is bigger than me. AND, that I have it soooo good. Seriously. I have all I could ever want and need in JESUS. My life will never be destitute  because I have ONE who holds it all together.
It's easy to stare at the world, your world and all that is going wrong in it. But when I took my eyes off of what I was idolizing as my perfect idea of what life should look like, I realized my eyes were wrongly placed. It's not even so much that what I was taking for granted would have been someone else's miracle, (although this is absolutely true as well) but more so that God was not being glorified though me when I lived my days this way. When I walk around defeated, and sorrowful, I am giving God zero glory, and I am missing the hundreds of thousands of things that God has given me to be thankful for. Gratitude drowns out sorrow. It's not a forced, "dogonit, I'm going to be thankful today.." inasmuch as it is a day by day, moment by moment, focusing your gaze on Jesus Christ. How do I fix my gaze one JESUS? Well, it starts in our thinking, runs down to our hearts, and trickles out our fingers. I stand on HIs word that Jesus is always working for me, and that JESUS is doing exactly what is best for me, and in my heart that turns to thankfulness, and before I know it, my arms and hands are raised in gratitude.
Not by my own will. Not by my own "trying harder." But by the pure and simple reality that Jesus has  and is everything I need to live a life that is full and filled with thankfulness.
seriously. This is not about someone trying harder. This is not about gritting your teeth another day to get through, choke down those tears and fake a smile. That is NOT what this is about.
It's about surrendering your dreams to His will. It's about telling Him that His will for you comes before, but it's actually not that much of a surrender, because if HE knows what's best to begin with and His plan is most perfect, than the thing we really are laying down is flawed from the start.
There is no amount of vacations, good things in life, perfect weather, or happy lifestyle that will make you or I more grateful. It's in the heart that our heart changes. It's a flawed set of thoughts. It's a line of thinking that must change. Goes a little something like this ------------> God is doing what is best. ---------->Forgive me for thinking I know what is best.---------------> Thank you for all your doing in my life.--------------> God your first, God your better.

"Jesus paid it all. All to Him I owe. Sin has lost is crimson stain, HE washed me white as snow."

IF we start each day out like this, I know we will lay our heads down at night with a peace and rest that we have never felt before. I know it is happening this way for me. Consider it your trial and error, as you have seen where I was, and see where my heart is now, know this, nothing is the same when GOD changes it. Good days come, bad days come, but God never changes. So why not fix your thoughts on the unchanging. GOD.