Buried with Christ, Living Alive

You've all heard it before, "buried with Christ, so I no longer live, but Christ lives in me..." right? SO what does that mean exactly? I'm learning, and let me share friends because packed in that phrase/verse is many many promises for you, and for me, and it's so delightful.

In my past, not so long ago, when Christ revealed Himself to me, removed my blinders, took of my shackles and I was free there but these was still this image of a former me that was left. The image was left in others minds, and in the back of my mind, sort of like a walking dead shadow that followed me wherever I went. And it was prohiiting me from really dancing in the joy of my new found freedom in Christ. It had to be done away with...

And that is exactly what Christ did for me on the cross... there is such significance in the burial of Christ, you see in the those times after a person was crucified, their bodies were simply tossed in a pile, or at most, thrown into a shallow grave. (in other words, the dead was still present)

Not so with Jesus, He had some secrete followers, who did not follow Him so boldly in life, but did follow Him boldly in His death, for they went to Pilate, and asked him for Jesus's body with the intention of burying it in a proper way. The reason this is so significant is because what was dead, was buried. The old, was gone, and the new was coming and that is what the part that we too get to grab hold of. And it also fulfilled scripture, another proof that God was in complete control..So even in death, He was in control. What does that say to you about your present trial or hopeless situation? You see to His followers who buried Him that day, it felt as though all was lost. Interestingly enough, His enemies ordered a stone to be placed in front of His tomb so that "just in case" His words spoken in life regarding being raised from the dead were true, they were covered. TO THINK! They thought a simple stone would hold our Lord, Creator of Heaven and Earth in His tomb. What fools. As a side note, have you ever felt yourself placing "stones" in front of the Lord to try and keep Him out? Remembering He is complete control, now gives me comfort, but there was a time where that though made me almost mad. Don't let the same be said of you my friend.

So continuing on with the story of the men who came to bury Jesus who were too frightened to follow Him in life, I say this, it doesn't matter when you say, "I follow you.." Its just that you do.

And then the healing begins..

Have you ever felt like you are just continually digging up something that is dead? A past life of sin that haunts you and makes you feel as though your walking around with some deadness on your shoulders all the time? I have felt this way, and the shadow was so dark, and so heavy that I finally recognized that it was not mine to carry...there is great significance in this understanding because when we give those past hauntings over to the Lord we are able to rejoice in the death! And live in the new life we are being offered. You see, Christ did not die for us to live miserable lives, stuck in the past (even though we've already repented) and not really grabbing hold of the true life, the true living water that He has offered to us. So ask yourselves this my friends...the sins that were crucified on that cross so long ago, are they still laying in open graves for all to see? Do you where them on your face and show them in your countenance every time you leave the house, or are FREE? Are you dancing out your front door because Christ did away with the former you? Are you skipping down the halls of work or school because you have the LIFE of Christ, not the death of past? These are things that we need to deal with in order to grow, don't let dead things stand in the way of your life with Christ.

So, how do you do this? Go to the Lord, walk into His beautiful thrown room...kneel at His lovely pierced feet and say, "This, This thing of mine I'm holding onto, it's yours." And then hand it over to Him. He will take it from you, and you my friend can once and for all feel His life, and His forgiveness. That is why He went to the cross for you! So that you could have life, and have it abundantly! He didn't say..."Sure I'll die for you but you still have to bear the weight of your sins every day!!" No. He said, "GO! Sin not more! You are forgiven." SO friends...If you have repented, you have died to the former you, you have offered up your life to be pleasing and holy to Him, then you friend, should live this life that way.

Take any forgiven soul in the Bible, and you will see, they were set free by Christ, and just as He lifted Mary Magdalene from the ground and told her to leave her life of sin, so can we. We can dust off our feet, and He wipes those tears of past sins away from our eyes, we can know and have perfect assurance that our sins have been forgotten.

Makes no difference what the sin is. You fill in the blank...but it's forgotten. Anyone encouraged?

I am. Now, lets live as though we are alive. That is our gift, and we need to accept it, and live.

Praise be to our Lord and Savior!!!!

When Trees Bloom

I had this thought as I was reading my friends blog and she commented on how "suddenly, her tree bloomed out her bedroom window.." And of course, it prompted thoughts on a spiritual level for me. (thanks Alesha for the inspiration, and God.)

There are times in our lives when we are surrounded by darkness. It's a hard place to be, and sometimes we question as to why God might be allowing us to be there? But as I personally have experienced, when it's dark out, I am desperately reaching in the dark for the Lord and as opposed to when it's sunny and perfect out, I'm not so prone to desperation for His hands, for I can see just fine! As I just came out of a dark place this winter, and as I searched moment by moment for glimpses of light or of "trees in bloom..." suddenly I began to find them. Little pockets of joy in each day that allowed me the strength to continue on my journey.

Is there anyone with me here today who feels as though the sun is hiding? Well, your not alone, it's crazy to believe that the sun can be bright as day outside, and yet feels so rainy in a certain individuals heart....and I am hear to speak to those who's heart is not just in the rain, it's in a thunder storm. That's whom God loves to speak to as well...those who are broken, tired and weary, and He longs to gather you up, as chicks under a mother hens wings in the rain...this is what He does in fact do for us. So the only rain you feel, is the rain that is gently allowed through the mother hens feathers...( a fraction of you would feel if those feathers were not there)

And His feathers of course is His love, His peace, His comfort and His still, calm, quiet voice that pierces the darkness, and quiets the storm.

I absolutely love the image of Jesus quieting the storm...

"One day Jesus said to His disciples, "Lets go over to the other of the lake.." So they got in their boat and set out. As they sailed, He fell asleep...A squall came down on the lake so that the boat was being swamped, and they were in great danger. The disciples went and woke hi, saying, "Master! Master! were going to drown!"

He Got up, and rebuked the wind and raging waters; the storm subsided and all was calm.." Luke 8:22-24

Don't you love that last phrase? and all was calm..

Have you ever begged the Lord for calm? I have, and when I first asked Him in the midst of my storm, I asked for a life preserver. Then, I asked for a flashlight. Then, I asked for some company so I wouldn't have drowned alone...but when I finally asked for calm, He responded..

He didn't want me to be comfortable in the darkness with anything but Him. He wanted me to want Him, and hence my darkness. And when I asked for calm...that is exactly what I got...

I'm not stating that this is the secret recipe to solving pain in our lives, but what I am saying is that asking for the Lord to give us peace in the midst of the storm is one of the ways we begin to see tree's blossoming in the midst of painful circumstances.

This is a promise to the broken hearted, the beaten down and bruised, to the faint of heart and the sick and lonely..

He not only hears you, He longs to give you peace and calm your storm, so run to His name, call to Him as His disciples did! Master! Master! Save us! We are going to drown!!!

And then seek Him....spend time every day seeking Him and just watch my friends as trees begin to bloom in places you never though imaginable....and then we can say...to God be the glory!

Always Hearing But Never Understanding

"I got it, I got it..." the voice trails off as the child walks out the door, car keys in hand. "Trust me, I heard you..." This comes on the wings of a conversation about the importance of wearing a seat belt, and you the parent has just made it very clear in "sermon on the mount" type way that this seat belt issue is of utmost of importance..

You, stand and watch as your child backs out of the driveway and in horror you see him/her drive away with out buckling their seat belt.

I have to think that this is a little bit the way that Jesus felt about those He tried to share His good news with. News that would have saved their lives. And, some being polite, others just curious, listened, but went on their way as soon as the sermon ceased.

Jesus once had a similar conversation with a man named Nicodemus. Nicodemus was an influential man, and if others saw him speaking to Jesus or even worse, following Jesus, his social identity would be ruined. (sound familiar?) So Nic creeps off in the night and finds Jesus, so that no-one will see him..and they have this conversation..

Nic says to Jesus, " Rabbi, we know that you are a teacher who has come from God, For no-one could perform the miraculous signs you are doing if God were not with Him."

(hearing it, but totally missing the truth..)

In reply, Jesus declared, "I tell you the truth, no one can see the kingdom of God unless He is born again." John 3: 2,3

I find it so interesting that Jesus did not start out by making small talk that would pertain to Nic, He just gets right to the heart of the issue, knowing the Nic has already heard the whole story, He cuts to the core and states the main point right up front.

Of course, Nic having a mind much like mine, is confused! He replies the Lord, "How can man be born when he is old? Surly he cannot enter a second time into his mothers womb and be born?"vs. 4

Jesus goes onto to explain all these things in further depth, (vs.'s 5-8) and then after clearly speaking the Biblical truth that those with open hearts can accept, Nic follows up with one more stupefied question.."How can this be?"vs 9

Friends, I am trying to make a valid point here: this is where a lot of us are at today...in the world, we know the words, we hear the words..but they never sink in. And this issue is of course close to my heart because this is where I myself lived for many years. For when you know the truth, hear the truth and understand the truth...there will be change.

So much of who I was before Christ changed me was wrapped up in Nic's story...I was afraid of what others might think..I was afraid of my reputation..I was afraid of what sorrow would enter my life if I sold out to Christ..

So I came to Jesus in the dark, asked Him questions that proved that I did not understand, and in daylight, lived as if I did. What a lie. And in doing so, I missed out big time. I missed out on experiencing this Savior in all of His beauty, gifts and glory and played it safe. I'm not living like that anymore. I recognized finally my life of sin and as He removed the blinders from my eyes, I saw things like I never had before. This year, I have been on a journey that has caused me to fall so deeply in love my Savior. This story that I had heard all my life now has left me weeping and praising His name in ways that I never even thought possible, much less for me!

I have fallen in love with the person of Jesus, who He was, what He stood for, and the price He paid for you and for me, on the cross.

It's hard for me now to have a conversation without saying His name...I feel His name is always on my lips, because I owe Him everything. Everything.

"As water reflects a face, so a mans heart reflects the man.." Prov 27:19

That verse was true for Nicodemus and it's true for you and I as well, when we creep in the dark to talk to a Savior we supposedly follow with all our "hearts" it proves that the man does not live what He claims. We are always hearing, but never understanding. Let that not be true of you and I anymore. How can we make the shift?

"So I say to you, ask and it will be given to you, seek, and you shall find, knock and the door will be opened to you." Luke 11:9

That is how. We seek! And we Knock at the door, He will answer and you will see as you never seen before, and you will hear and understand as you never have before. It's His light that brings us our purpose for existence. Have you ever felt like your life held no purpose? Perhaps you should consider what you are chasing after, and what gives you life in this life...if the answer is not Jesus, that may be why...

I say this friends from personal experience and it comes from a very honest place of not wanting to see one of His children, lost.

Because there will be a day, when it is too late. And that is a very sobering thought...so today, while it's light out, knock at the door of salvation and know this friend..it will be opened for you.

"In Romans 1, God's charge against a false and godless world is that although they knew God, they neither glorified him as God nor gave thanks to him (Romans 1:21a). They did not recognize the basis upon which their life depended. Though they would not hesitate to thank someone who so much as picked up a handkerchief for them, they could find no time to stop and give thanks to the God upon whom their life depended. " -Ray Stedman.

May this remind you that on the other side of that door is this: Joy! Peace! Contentment! Life!

Nothing else is more important that knocking on that door. So go, knock and for those of you who have not yet seen His face know this, it's the most lovely thing you will ever lay your eyes on. Eyes so gentle, hands and feet with holes in them, and a voice that beckons you in with love that you've never before experienced. You are in for a treat.

The Faces of God

Do you my friends know that we get glimpses of God and what His being looks like? Maybe not a physical picture of His "body" but of who he is. That blows my mind. God lets us see Him. It's an honor to serve Him and He tell us so in Hebrews 9:14b saying, "so that we MAY serve the living God." So we know this, He is living, (alive and active) and we may serve Him. Something else I learned of was His great powerful righteous anger. This was an attribute or characteristic of God that I never wanted to spend much time on, mostly because in my past I knew that I was doing things that did in fact anger the Lord. But didn't care enough to change. Now, I care, and I also find myself marveling at His power. Listen to this..

"The earth trembled and quaked and the foundations of the mountains shook, they trembled because He was angry, smoke rose from His nostrils, consuming fire came from His mouth..." Psalm 18: 18:7,8

That verse there is a description of God's anger at the time of Jesus's death. I would not have wanted to be on the receiving end of such anger, but one must marvel at the power behind those words..I know I am..

You also hear in stark contrast and beautiful perfection the perfect of love God. Listen to what David says here.."I will praise you O Lord, among the nations; I will sing of you among the peoples, For great is your love, reaching to the heavens, your faithfulness reaches to the skies." Psalm 57:9,10

Isn't that a beautiful depiction of the love of God? Reaches to the heavens? When was the last time anything human reached to the heavens? No. never.

He is our sustainer as well...
"Cast your cares on the Lord, and He will sustain you, He will never let the righteous fall.." Psalm 56:22

And then, more on His love and that He is also our strength...(it's beginning to paint a beautiful, strong and faithful picture of the God we serve is it not?)

"I will sing of your strength, in the morning I will sing of you love. For you are my fortress, my refuge in times of trouble, O my strength, I sing praise to you, you O God are my fortress, my loving God."

Psalm 59:16,17

Also, I recognize after studying Jesus in the gospels this year, I have been painted a picture of most loving God, but also of a God who is trustworthy. A God who sent us His best, for our worst. Isn't that a picture? To the point of using Jesus (through His complete obedience and yet still being completely part of the God trinity) to die for us, His love was shown on the deepest of levels, because now all He sees of those who have repented and follow Him, is blamelessness. He sees His perfect son. And to me, that equates to a just and fair God as well. Someone had to pay the price for our sins, and He of course accepted Christ as the perfect sacrifice and the rest is history, but we know we are following a just God.

We are also following a God who knows all. All of the story of the death and life of Jesus was written by the fingers of God. Right down to the way they divided up His clothes at the foot of the cross while Jesus was hanging there for us, that was a detail God wrote into the plan to fulfill prophesy...why? To show us, (not that He had to) that He was in control. So He is also in complete control.

"Who gave man his mouth? Who makes him deaf or mute? Who gives him sight or makes him blind? Is it not I, the Lord? Now go, I will help you speak and will teach you what to day." Exodus 4:11

That is what the Lord told Moses when he was so afraid to go and speak to Pharaoh. God is in control...so much so that He even is the one who gives us our words.

And I doubt Him? How is this possible my friends? But I have, and I do. Every time I fear the unknown, or tremble at my thoughts of doubt...I tell the Lord, He is not who He claims to be. God. All knowing. All powerful. Loving. Above all else. Trustworthy. Creator. King. Perfect.

Those are the things we know about God, and today, let us all ask Him to give us the faith to believe it. To really really believe it. Because what was true of God at the cross, is true of God today.

"The Lord is my strength and my song, He has become my salvation, He is my God! And I will praise Him. My Fathers God, and I will exalt Him. The Lord is a warrior. The Lord is His name."

Exodus 15:2,3

May this knowledge of God encourage you, inspire you to trust Him more, and find more and more reason to praise Him. He is so worthy of our praise, and bring glory to God is our privilege. Lets do that today, because He has never failed me or you friend, nor will He ever.

All about the Cross

I have spent a lot of time at the foot of the cross these past few weeks..

And in the past months I was there as well with a slightly different spirit but still there, at the cross. I have seen the scene of His death in such a different way lately, and in light of all He did for me there, and in light of all of my sin, what I used to read without much thought, now it genuinely hurts me. I recognized that it was my sin that held Him there in all of His intense pain and suffering, and that knowledge has done this for me: it has made me realize that He is in fact the most trustworthy being that I could ever place my trust in, and He proved it by hanging there in all of his misery but yet maintain His faith and obedience to the Father and with a peaceful, kind, gracious and loving attitude. That my friends, is beyond my comprehension, and frankly, I think it's meant to be beyond our comprehension because the act of what He did for me and for you at that cross was things that had kingdom purpose.

This of course gives light to our present day sufferings, and although I personally do not like to focus on sufferings, it is something that is so prevalent in our lives, it was then in Jesus's time and is now, only today as people we look at our sufferings so differently than Jesus did, and I'm humbled greatly by that.

The battle with suffering is in the mind for many of us..physical suffering is hard, but emotional and suffering in our thoughts, who can fix that? It was Jesus's steadfast focus and belief on the promises of His Father that kept Him on that cross, had He even for one moment doubted, all the suffering would have been considered void because God needed a complete and stainless sacrifice for the atonement of our sins. Had Jesus doubted, it would've been sin, and of course we know, Jesus never sinned. He was blameless and spotless, even in His most intense suffering of all. It's those feelings of doubt and despair that can absolutely flatten us during our times of trials and sufferings, when we begin to not be able to see or "feel" the peace of Christ because we become so wrapped up in the suffering itself and lie that comes with the suffering. The lies of the enemy. Jesus heard lies from the enemy when He was on the cross through the taunts of all the people around the cross, ridiculing Him and actually making fun of all He claimed to be on earth.

Have you ever heard those taunts in your heads my friends? What do they sound like to you? Maybe like this..."Your never going to amount to anything..." or " your work for the kingdom is so small, just stop wasting your time.." or "See, God's not listening to your cry for help, if He was, He would answer you!" Oh friends...those lies are just that, lies. And they are Satans plan on trying to get you to doubt the trust you know you should have and can have in your Heavenly Father. He is bigger than all of your suffering and the plan He had for Jesus on the cross should be testimony to us of this exact truth. What was true about God back then, is oh so true about God today.

Let me take this to a place that encourages any of you in suffering today, or even if your close to someone who is suffering these words will bring light to your heart...

When we are down and out and asking ourselves, "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me..." we need to surround ourselves with the Means of Grace. What is the means of grace? It is this: Going to the People of God for comfort, focusing our hearts and minds of the Works of God, we need to Worship God and most importantly we need to immerse ourselves in the Word of God.

Those four avenues when used together are our greatest gifts from the Father. It's the unity of the body of Christ that can bring hands and feet to offer us physical help. You know how this looks, it's that day. The day that all of this came crashing in on you. You might be slumped on the floor, or unable to lift your heard off your pillow because the suffering your in has taken it's toll on you and a lie was believed, and doubt crept it. You see your phone and you know the person you could call...

So you do. You dial that Jesus with skin on friends number and all you do is say "hi" and you begin to weep. Oh my friends, I've been there. I made that call, and I wept. And do you know what my friend did for me? First she cried with me, and then she prayed. She prayed for the peace of God to transcend my heart and mind that day...she became strength for me and pointed me back to my ultimate source of strength, Christ.

And Jesus, my Jesus bore all the suffering imaginable for me, so that I could live free today, giving some light to all of our sufferings today. I pray that this word encourages you today as it did for me. Suffering is something that we are going to face on this earth, but it's how we conquer in suffering that we can bring glory to God. Every time we do not submit to the fear, the lies and the deceit of the enemy as he lies to us about our suffering, we win a victory for the Lord, and ultimately, we stomp Satan. So lets win this fight one little stomp at a time, and conquer the lies of the enemy. Suffering is hard. The Lord knows this, and He will provide you with the peace you need as you ask for it. God never leaves His children forsaken, or alone, look at the cross!! The moment the words " my God my God why have you forsaken me" left the lips of Jesus, the darkness ceased and He gave up His spirit. He was heard, He was rescued and He was never forsaken. Neither are you and I.

"These things I have spoken to unto you, that my joy might remain in you, and that your joy might be full."

John 15:11 kjv

What Kind of Sacrafice?

I read something on the story of Cain and Able today and it sparked a few thoughts for me, (like "it" meaning God, does for me each time I read something challenging)
I had read over some verses from Psalms "ironically" on sacrifice prior to reading the other passage on Cain and Able and I began to think of it in regards to my own life, and what does it really mean to offer up sacrifices to God? I actually would really like to know the answer to this question, but I'm going to process it as best as I can.
God desires a pure heart. We know that because He tells us that, "To do what is right and just is more acceptable to the Lord than sacrifice.." Prov. 21:3
The sacrifice of Cain and Able made a difference in the Lords eyes, but what was the difference of that situation than of what is stated in the above verse? Is it perhaps that at the root of Cain's sin was pride? Pride that his gift was more aesthetically beautiful than his brothers? And when the Lord told Cain NO to his gift, it was more because of the fact that in Cains heart was pride over his gifts to the Lord? And of course, I made it personal, because this is what I do whenever I read something challenging in scripture, and I thought to myself..."When I offer the Lord something, whether it be my time, or a gift of praise and worship, and am I prideful that I am praising Him oh so well?"
Lately, I have been thanking the Lord for more and more and as I see His hand so prevalent in my life, it's difficult to get through a few hours without being most thankful to my Lord and Savior. That is not a brag, it's my acknowledging my utter weakness without my Father. So this is why I find myself thanking Him so often. But I want to have my thanks be pure of heart, in other words, I want to mean what I say. Granted, He knows my heart, (both frightening and comforting) but when I pray thanks, or offer Him emotion of thanks, am I coming to Him with a honest heart? Or one that is led by earthly pride? Pride in the fact that I'm so close to the Father...
I confess I've had moments of just such pride in the past, and what happened was this: I went to the Father thinking I was going to offer His name such beautiful praise at church, but instead I found myself unable to focus, and unable to praise because I had gotten caught up in the idea of being able to offer Him this sacrifice in my own abilities. Which is perhaps the same state of Cain's heart as He looked at all his beautiful vegetables and fruits, as he hand picked them and arranged them beautifully in his basket that he planned on bring to the alter. Oh his brother would be so jealous when he saw Cain's beautiful spread! That dirty little lamb couldn't stand a chance against his lovely gift. What a good thing he was doing for God he must of thought.
Has anyone here ever had those same thoughts. I have. And I hate that I have but it's obviously something that humans have struggled with since the beginning of time.
Our Father is so patient with us is he not? He was not mad at Cain with his gift, He just asked Cain this..."Why is your face downcast? Why are you angry..." (this question came on the wings of the Lord being pleased with Able's gift and not Cains...)
So much for aesthetically beautiful. Pride was overwhelming Cain and it turned into anger and the Lord saw right through Cain's fasaud of his beautiful gift...it was about giving the gift, it was about the pride behind the gift that was displeasing, that is what I think...
So with the understanding, it makes me rethink all I do. God is not fooled when we come to Him and say, "Look God! Look what I did for you!! Isn't it beautiful??? I made this meal for that family and it was such a pretty spread...and of course God, I did it all for you!!"
Do you think God is fooled? I didn't make that meal for Him, I made that meal because I had great confidence in my cooking abilities and thought, why not stamp God's name on this meal? Oh yuck. YUCK!!!
I bet that meal tasted like dirt to Him. And so I have bared my heart before the Lord, asking Him to make my gifts beautiful to Him, and only Him. To let my sacrifices be just that, sacrifices and not have it be something that comes so easy to me.
It's in honesty of heart that approach the throne with confidence, and it's with a pure heart that we say, "Lord, I offer you this gift, because you are God and I am thankful."
And I am, thankful...
"Father, may my gifts be so honoring to you, and will it never be from a selfish place that I bring you gifts...Forgive me for the times my gifts are more about me, than about you. I offer you up my heart, my attitudes and I tell you from a pure heart, I am so thankful for all you've done for me, and I desire to give you the most adoration possible. Thank you my Jesus, Thank you my Savior, my heart falls before your throne. Amen"

Any of you are welcome to join me in my prayers to the Father...He loves any child who comes honestly before his throne with adoration and praise, and a sacrifice that reflects the heart of God. Reflecting the heart of God? Is that even possible? It is when we chase after the Father and His desires with all our hearts, souls and minds...and that is the journey I desire to be on all of my life.
It's with a shaking of my head in amazement that that is even and option for me, it's with that mindset I recognize my humanness and my inability to bring His name praise all on my own. It's because of God, In God, and For God. Sacrifice is about praising Him, worshiping Him, laying down of self, and finally, to bring His name Glory. Because what can be said on sacrifice without first acknowledging the one who sacrificed it all for us? For that, we should give Him our very best.

He is our silver lining

Friends, I come to you tonight with a little bit of a heavy spirit, I've had a few things today that I have heard of that have cause me to tremble. Things that make my soul a bit sorrowful...and I'm finding myself ever more thankful for the hands of the Father that hold this whole world in His hands. It's His pain on the cross that give me hope. He went through every imaginable emotional, and physical pain that any of us could dare to imagine, and He did it with poise, with dignity and He did it with love in His heart for us, and in complete obedience to His Father.

I stand in awe of Him like never before. There is such pain in the world today and I want to be encouraged. So where do I turn when I want to be encouraged, the Word of God.

He tells me..Not to be afraid, because He has overcome the word...(John 14:27)

He tells me...Fear not, It is I, I am here...(Isaiah 41:10)

He tells me.. though you walk through the valley of the shadow of death, we need not fear any evil..(Psalms 23)

He tells me...Though the earth give way, and the oceans quake with their surging, and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, there is streams who makes glad the city God, God is with her at the break of day, and she will not fall. (Psalm 46)

He tells me..Come to me, you who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest. (Matt. 11:28)

He tells me...I am your strong tower, your shelter when your weak (Psalm 61:3)

He tells me...Do not be afraid, it is I...and the seas were calm. (Peter walking on water)

He tells me....Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of Heaven. (Matt. 5: 3)

He tells me...Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted..(Matthew 5:5)

And Friends, I will be honest with you, it was those last two verses that always gave me trouble, I thought, how could He call me blessed as I mourn? How could He call me blessed and I'm down and out in spirit? How could He call me blessed as my world seems to be falling apart?

Because of this: When the world is the darkest, God's light can be seen the brightest. Why? Because when we are in pain...we run to Him. Not because He's some evil dictator who enjoys us crawling to Him, but because He holds the keys to our peace. He knows that in Him, no pain can touch us. It why you can see people with terminal diseases being joyful and praising the name of the Lord. Here is why you can take this quite literally...when Christ died, He died for our sins. But from the 6th to the 9th hours, there was complete darkness. Complete and utter darkness in the world and in that moment, those standing around the cross had the breath taken away, and they said..."surely...this must have been the son of God..."

Others can say that of us as we face darkness. As we experience trials. I was so encouraged by this, because Christ went through the ultimate darkness but my friends, He was more than held, He was saved my His Father. He was risen to life in a complete and whole way and He offers us just such eternal joy as well...

The difficult part is that on this side of heaven, there is pain, but that is why we have the Lord here on earth with us as His Holy Spirit and why we have His most precious words written in His book of love to us. Open it. Open up your heart to the possibility of joy...and watch as He unfolds His great great love for you. Watch as he picks you up, picks your child up, picks your sick Mother up and holds them with such tender care and love. The pain we feel, is understood by our most loving and holy Father. He is not an unreachable God. He is your gentle Father who longs to speak words of encouragement to your heart.

"He turned the sea into dry land, they passed through the waters on foot- come, let us rejoice in Him." Psalm 66:5

My heart goes out to all of you who have pain in your heart tonight, and I pray for His peace that which surpasses all, to fill your hearts and minds tonight.

Lessons from French Toast

As a Mom, I am not very good at letting things go. It seems that motherhood forced me to let go of many things that I once thought so important, and now of course, have very little value to me. Things like, getting my nails done every 8 days, no longer important. Going to the mall every other day, no longer important. Making sure my appearance is perfect all the time, no longer important. However, those things were all about me, and focused on me. Now, I'm recognizing to more "me" things that bug me about myself. I get mad too quickly. (especially when tired)

I'm bugged easy by little things the kids do, things that every kid does, but proves to get the best of me most days. (Mom's, am I the only one?)

But here's the thing, I don't like that I can't keep my cool, and I don't like that I steal joy from my children's world every time I get frustrated over things that upset my plans for things. Case and point...

I wanted to make french toast for the kids for breakfast, I thought "what kid wouldn't like french toast?" and I told my boy this morning I was going to make him this very special breakfast, but instead of responding in joy, He yelled at me NO. I INSTANTLY got mad. I flared back at him, (because how dare he turn down my sweet thought?!!!) and told him that FINE, he wasn't getting breakfast then. Which of course was ridiculous, but in my mind, it made sense at the time. He insulted me. And I was mad. Therefore, he would pay by not getting any breakfast at all, ( that ungrateful little boy I thought to myself)

In the end, he for some reason changed his mind and wanted the french toast after-all, and I walked away somewhat happy, feeling like I did a good job. Here's the part that I don't like about me, this "french toast" episode, was all about making myself feel like I was a good Mom. I wanted my kids to think that I was great, and selfishly I was fulfilled by doing this great act of breakfast making. I know it sounds crazy but it's just a very small example of my huge human display of self. And I hate it.

Jesus suffered much at the cross. He suffered much taunting, much ridicule and many people throwing His gift back in His face. And the real deal sealer here is that He had not one iota of selfishness in His heart as He went to the cross, nor did He yell at them.."fine! then your not getting any salvation from me ever!!! ever!!!" That's what I would have said. What ungrateful pigs, the ones whom He came to save, they merely spit on Him and told Him that "If He had so much power, He should just save Himself.." Ouch. And I'm mad about a little french toast.

So I'm learning. I'm learning things more and more each day that can and will change. They will change because I know I serve a God who will not allow me to remain complacent, He will not allow me to remain comfortable in my sin, and He most certainly will not allow me to settle for attitudes that are less than glorifying to Him. It's all about this process of learning and understand on how to have God make my life more reflective of Christ. That is my goal my friends, that is my desire, and right now, I feel like I'm really long ways off. But all I can do is tell my Lord and Savior I'm sorry, and that as I repent, I will carry out the definition of repentance, and that is to change and not turn back to the sin I have repented from. Now, I know that I am not a perfect Mommy, but the Lord can and will equip me with all I need each day to conquer every little battle I have in my heart over my desires of self. My desires to be fulfilled by my good deeds, by my world being just as I want it to be and by my desires to have my children act "just so." (which of course would be absolutely painful for them..they are children, and they must be allowed to act as children)

I didn't agree with my son's attitude at breakfast, but I my friends, am not any better. So, I plan to teach him as best as I can the attitudes of a Christ centered heart, and what a better way to teach him such things, than to model them in my own life. It appears, I have a bit of learning to do myself. May this encourage any of you out there who feel as though they are in the same place as I, we are all beautiful works in progress and none of us perfect. There is a fair amount of grace in that phrase and I know we all need grace. May you feel His grace today, just as I have.

Living or Abiding

I have had this thought mulling around in my mind for quite some time, and it's finally hit me why I was unable to get away from it. The idea of living life, going about ones business because she must or because he should feels so empty. And if you are like me my friends, there may be a day, and perhaps it's today where you sat down, took a look at your daily life and said.."Well that felt pointless." No, I have not given up on all that God has taught me, or what I know about the Lord, don't be scared...:) but I am addressing a simple fact that life can become pointless when we simply do what we need to do, because we need to do it. It's like a singer who sings a song, and actually sounds quite beautiful but has no life behind their eyes. They stand in one place on the stage throughout the entire song, never moving anything but their lips...you begin to think to yourself.."is that a robot singing?"

Have you ever felt this way about life in general? Well, I have, and these days of late, I'm recognizing WHY we feel this way as people. As people, we were designed to follow the instruction of our Savior, we were designed to want and really, need direction. Most of us hate directions and most of us would rather do things on our own, which in turn, leads to simply living life...to live it. Abiding, is something quite different, and it's this abiding in the Lord that I am now getting a grasp on. Abiding is doing something, not because we know we should do it, but doing it to the best of our ability because we know the Lord desires us to give it our all, and in the end, please Him and bring Him glory through our actions.

I am a busy mom. I can muddle my way through any old day, making meals, changing diapers, and cleaning floors, and feel somewhat satisfied with the fact that I did in fact help two little people from being hit by cars each day. But that in itself, is not enough. It's not enough for you, and it's not enough for me, and it's most certainly, not bringing the most glory to the maker. It's the not the actions of my day that must change, because those are imminent, it's the attitude BEHIND the actions that should and must change. And the only way they are going to truly change is through the gentle guidance and leading of my Savior who wrote it all out for me in His word. All I need to do is open it's pages and watch as wisdom unfolds to me, so that is what I do, I open the word, I absolutely pour over it's pages, looking, scraping, grabbing at the truths He has offered for me each day, Why? Because I am desperate. Desperate to abide in the life, abide and know His wisdom for my every step rather than walking blind. You too my friend can approach each and every day of this life that He has given you in such a way...

Learning to abide is the learning wisdom...and of course, like Solomon realized, wisdom is something you gain over a lifetime, but why was Solomon so wise? He asked for wisdom. He asked for understanding and searched for it as buried treasure...

"My son! If you accept my words and store up my commands within you, turning your ear to wisdom and applying your heart to understanding, and if look for it as for silver and search for it as hidden treasure the you will understand the fear of the Lord, and find the knowledge of God. For the Lord gives wisdom and from His mouth come knowledge and understanding. He holds VICTORY in store for the upright, He is a shield to those whose walk is blameless...

Then you will understand what is right and just and fair-every good path. For wisdom will enter your heart and knowledge will be pleasant to your soul."

Proverbs 2:1-10

When we search like this, when we dig for the gold nuggets of knowledge, we not only learn more about the God we serve, His character, the things that are important to Him, the things that He likes to see in us, we also learn about how to make each day fulfilling, and full of life.

Just because you take your thousands of breaths each day that you need and you can blink your eyes and exist, does not mean you are alive and full of life. Abiding is a moment by moment awareness of God and His desires for your heart, and His directions for your feet.

Now, do you want this?!!!! Me to!!! I think it sounds amazing and I want to have it each and every moment of every day I'm alive. But do you know what the very very best part about this is? When we live life like this, for our Savior, we bring Him glory. He is able to look at us and say, "well done good and faithful servant? You have been faithful with little, therefore I know you can be faithful with much?" And little is not little in His eyes, the way you mop the floors at your home, or do each little detail of your job with exact precision and complete focus...that is much to Christ. Your behind the scenes honoring Him is so lovely to Jesus, it makes His face beam with joy as you lift up your tired arms from scrubbing the floor or from holding the hands of clients, or from white knuckled hands from holding a steering wheel...and as you rock your screaming baby to sleep...one more night.

This abiding is two fold, one you are fulfilled, you are granted wisdom as you fervently seek Him and also, and even greater, your serving your Father, your honoring your King, and bring praise to your Father.

I might venture to say, you should never look at any small or big job the same...He designed each of His children to preform different tasks and by abiding in Him, each of those tasks for each and every different person, is huge to Him.

May this knowledge of the truth that I learned just oh so recently be a source of encouragement to your hearts today. Even when you tired, and I would say when your tired all the more reason to abide in His strength, in His guidance and most of all, in His love. I don't think that He wants His children to be walking around as though they are blind, but rather to lift their heads high with the knowledge of Christ, with the joy of the Lord and with the strength of the Savior, to perform the tasks that they are daily given in order to bring His name the most glory.

Be encouraged!!!

The Walk to the Cross..

I've been spending a great deal of time in my Bible study on the moments of Jesus's life that lead up to His death for me on the cross. I've spent some time leaning about the people He spent His last moments with. Let me just say that it was not a friendly crowd. On one end was the Jews screaming bloody murder for His death, and on the other end were two rulers, taunting Him, doubting Him and eventually causing Him much pain. Pain from their mistakes, pain from their rejection of His truth that He offered them even in His final hours of life. Amazing to me. But really, He does this to me and to you daily. As I read the words of Pilate, a man who cared more of His position in the world and His desire to please others than of His desire to please His heavenly Father, I could not help but identify somewhat. At first, I turned my nose up at Pilate and said, "what an evil disgusting man..." but as He questioned Jesus about who He claimed to be and ultimately ended with the question "What is truth?" I stopped my scoffing, and began to feel the prick of pain. Here is truth standing right in front of Pilate and he closed his eyes and heart to Jesus's call for Pilate to lay aside his pride, and listen to the man who was truth.

What a similar message we hear in society today...all are searching for truth, but they are all looking in the wrong places. Myself included at certain points in my life...looking to other religions that felt more attractive, or the philosophies of the world that felt, "safer" or perhaps more "relative." Well, truth is not relative, truth is absolute, unchanging, and that truth that you are look for, and that I was looking for my friends, is found in the Bible, in the 3 persons of God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit. If you looking, look no further than word. Next, I spent some time with Herod, who I found myself disliking even more that Pilate. Pilate seemed a little dense, but I identified with that, Herod just stood and mocked Jesus. Which made me cringe until I heard Herod's main message, he wanted to be amused by Jesus, which literally translated, means to "not think," and simply be entertained by Jesus...
"Show me some miracles Jesus! Show me signs! Do something great for me Jesus...after all, you have that power don't you?" Oh friends, there isn't a time in any person's life where that have not been able to identify with Herod. He didn't want to dig, or understand, he wanted in made easy for him and really wanted to entertained by something. Jesus did not even reply to Herod. Herod represents someone who had the knowledge of the faith, in fact, Herod spend a great deal of time with John the baptised. And so he had the knowledge of the truth, but rejected truth a long time ago when he had John beheaded because John told Herod it was unlawful for him to have adultery. I don't think John's message would fly off any different with us today. So as Herod questioned Jesus for miracles, Jesus gave him no response, Herod became angry. And mocked Jesus...I know I have done this in my heart too..."What are you doing to me God? Is all this pain your causing me in my life fun for you? Is this your idea of good joke on me God? Well your not funny!!!" Anyone else felt or thought that. I'm sad to say that I have. As I confessed my sorrow to the Lord, I know He took me back into His arms, but the pain of my offense is still present.

So, ultimately, Herod didn't get what he wanted, He got mad, mocked Jesus and then sent him back to Pilate. Pilate, decided to compromise, and in hopes that the Jews would be happy with the blood of a flogging, he had Jesus flogged. (even though Pilate considered Jesus to be Innocent.)

And in the end caused Jesus more pain that if Pilate had just done what his role was calling him to do and send Jesus to the cross right away. He compromised and caused Jesus much more pain. It's a lesson to us as well when we compromise, we in turn have more and more pain in our lives...

The final person that I really identified with, and it was with and unlikely person whom which I have never really given a second thought too..and that was Barabbas.

He was sentenced to die. He was a bad bad man who deserved death. A man who had done all sorts of sinful crimes against man and God, and was waiting in his dark, cold, wet, cell for the footsteps of death to come towards him and take him to his cross, which he knew was already prepared for him. As he sat there in the silence of his cell he suddenly heard the cell door creek open. The time had come. He was going to get what he deserved. Death was imminent. But wait, as he looked up, he did not see the executioner..he saw another solider who was motioning for him to come out to him. "What the heck was this about?" I'm sure was a thought that crossed this criminals mind. The solider just stated, "your free.." to Barabbas and I'm sure in that moment words were difficult to find for Barabbas. His death was certain! But now this? What was going on? "WHY?" I'm sure was on Barabbas's lips...the soilders replied.."Someone is dying for you in your place.." "You are free to go."

It's not empty sentiment my friends that caused tears to fall this Easter...I related so strongly with this man, I recognized that I am Barabbas. I am the prisoner who was destined for death...I did not deserve a thing. And yet, He died in my place, and your place as well my friends. I have been Pilate, and I displayed reflecting of Herod in my heart, but by the grace of God, I am now freed. And so can you all be...if you have never moved beyond the question of "What is truth, or took more interest that wanting "to be amused," then work can and should be done in these hearts of ours. We are all given the opportunity to take Him up on His offer of being released from the dark, cold, wet, lonely, shallow, hallow, empty, death smelling cell that we call "life" right now. Don't you want out? Well, open the Word of God and watch my friends, just watch as He walks towards your cell gate and releases you to the heart of His truth. Stand up. Walk out, and grasp the freedom that is extended to you. May this be the day of YOUR release from captivity. AMEN!!!!

Where Is Your Heart

As I find myself in more peaceful waters with my heart these days, I find myself relaxing, and almost kicking back spiritually. Not becoming complacent, but enjoying the fact that I'm not hanging on for dear life. And, now, I almost, miss the hanging on for dear life. Why? Because as I clung with my fingernails to the rock of His foundation, I was rescued moment by moment by the Father. I was needing Him, and He came through. Now that I'm "laying beside quiet streams" I'm experiencing God in a different way. It's more in a quiet voice of peace that I call out to Him. Thanking Him. Praising Him. And knowing that it only because of Him and all His power that I am laying here beside this stream today. Praise His name!

But there is a sense of sadness that the intensity in which I clung to His every word is not there in the same way...and I, in a weird way grew comfortable with my relationship with Him being that way...

Now, I'm finding my footing in a different way.. to seek Him desperately even when my heart feels less desperate. I like not feeling desperate, and I also miss feeling desperate.

He walked me through some very dark places of my person and He showed me many ways that need to change. So, He began His construction job on my heart and at times, it was painful. I shed many tears in bitterness, and fear. But that was not His intention, He did not want me to be bitter, He wanted me to repent. As I realized that truth the progress began to take flight, daily as I repented of all He brought before me, I felt my insides being reshaped into a more "Jesus" organized way, rather then they way I put my insides away.

Where I had a big box of fear placed on a high shelf, He took it down and put a box of "peace" in it's place. Where I had "anger" He replaced it with "trust." Where I had resentment, He replace it with "understanding." And where I had a box of "judgment towards others..." He replaced it with a big box of "look at the camel in your own eye.."

That last one was the toughest for me to have changed..it of course was the last to go. A person over their life forms opinions about what they think about others, based off of what they think about themselves. Because lets face it..we like ourselves better than we like other people. Yuck! I hate that I can even say that about myself...but I can. And I'm growing in that area, knowing the sin that lies in that statement. Yuck yuck yuck. So, He started the real dirty work and house cleaning there. And here I thought He was "almost done!" ha!

At one point I made a statement that sounded a little bit like this, "I don't have to worry about that "thing". That "thing" is not an issue for me. Others may struggle with that "thing" but I do not. In fact, it frustrates me when people struggle with that "thing!"

OH! OH! OH! Friends! If you ever hear yourself think or say something similar to what I said that grave day, (and on many other occasions) RUN the other way. Clap your hand over your mouth to keep yourself from doing as I did. Shut off your thoughts and be on your guard to those types of thought and statements..because my friend, when you make a claim like that, your enemy, has now found His foothold, and you had better be certain, the Lord of all does not appreciate those types of attitudes either. But thankfully, God accepts repentance when it done in brokenness, and friends, this year, I have never been more broken. I not only realized my state of sin, I began to struggle with that "thing." Shame on me. But great is our God, because He did not stay mad at me, and I would have at me. He took me from my desolate place, and put me in a place of need for the Savior and then, He came in, in all His glory and taught my broken heart how to be well, He taught my raging spirit how to be still, and He taught my judgemental heart how to judge no more. No more will I make those statements of "i do not struggle with this." He has made me sensitive even to struggles I may not have, but know that it's only by the grace of God that I do not have them right now. I may deal with something much worse later down the road. But friends, one big thing that I have come to know. God is BIG. God is bigger than all else that comes into our lives, so if He allowed something to sift into your life, as He lets it through only by His filter of love, and it seems to big to bare...Know this! He is bigger. And He only allows in what He allows in. You are held tightly in His hands of protection if you have committed your heart fully to Him. If you are His, He will only allow in what He allows in. Am I making myself clear? He allows certain things in our lives because He knows what is going to make us the best that we can be, and also, what will place on the path of righteousness, and in the end, make us Holy to bring more glory to His Holiest of all names.

"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! in His great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the Resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade. Kept in heaven for you, who through faith are in shielded by God's power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time. in that you greatly rejoice! Though now, for a little while you had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith of greater worth that gold, which perishes even through refined by fire-may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed." 1 Peter 1:3-7

By no means am I claiming to be fully refined. Far be it from me to have such pride in my heart, and I pray for protection for attitudes that can creep in that look like that. I am such a sinner and this is what keeps me close to Him. Where ever He wants me friends, that is where I want to be because I have seen His hand work in ways that no other hand could. He reached in brought things that were so very dead back to life and now they are not only alive again, they look more like Him. And I could ask for nothing more.

So I write this today friends, to encourage you to stay close to Him. He is the only one who will sustain you. And when time are good and the sun is shining so bright in your life and if you are laying beside quiet waters as I am, don't forget the fire of refinement that brought you to where you are. Rejoice in the times of peace, so that when the trials come again, we can trust Him more quickly then before because we know His track record is perfect. He never fails.

Don't loose your grip on His purposes for your life, when we wander, when we make statements in pride about where are as if we are the ones who got ourselves there, we set ourselves up for attacks from the evil one, (which produces trials) and for a need to be changed by the Father.

The changing is good change though, and we are never going to be perfect to the point that He does not look at us and know things that should be changed...it's all in our attitudes of heart. And the only to keep an attitude of righteousness, is to be completely, and fully His.

Are you fully His today? It's a moment by moment dependence, and sometimes, I'm there, and sometimes I'm trusting in myself again. But I'm convinced of this, trusting in Him is perfect, trusting in myself, always results in falling. And I don't know about you but I'm really sick of falling down, my legs are so bruised I look a little bit beat up, but all i can offer to you as an explanation is that I spent some time trusting myself.

As always, I beg of you, learn from my mistakes. When we trust God, He always leads us to a place of peace. May you all find that today...

More Like Falling in Love.

"Love the Lord your God, with all your heart with all your soul and with all your mind, this is the first and the greatest commandment." Matthew 22:37

Who of you has read this verse and passed by without a second thought?

*hand raised high.

Until last night, and then again tonight. I have been having this thought, when Jesus walked the earth, He called his followers to leave all they had to follow Him. So I had this thought as I was driving home from the Dr. the other day, and looking at some people walking along the side of the road. What if Jesus literally flagged my car down, and said, "Get out of your car and come with me..." I thought about what I would say. Do you my friends...know what you would say?

My first thought was of my children, and my husband...but He said, we needed to be willing to leave them too, and I'm sure of His disciples had families that they left to follow Him quite literally. It's really amazing to me that I have read those stories throughout the gospels of people dropping all they had to literally chase after Jesus. He was their biggest priority.

Thankfully today, I do not feel as though the Lord is going to knock on my door and tell me leave my children standing behind me...but I can forsake all my priorities for Him. And do I? Right now? No. But I'm trying to wrap my mind around what it means to "love the Lord my God with all my heart, soul and mind." Which means it is, my every thought, my every feeling, and with all things that encompass my soul.

Do I do that? Well, it's a goal. And I'm dumbfounded as to why these thoughts have never entered into my mind. If he truly is my Master, My great protector, My shield, My comforter, My Companion and Greatest Friend, My Father and My Shepherd, My Potter and My Gardner, then why oh why is it difficult to think about giving Him my everything?

After all, He gave me His best. He gave me His everything. Do I not after all of that, consider Him trustworthy? To obey Him is one thing, but to do it out of love? That is quite another. I do fear the Lord with reverence because of the great power of His being...but do I love Him? Do I long for Him? There truly are day where I do hunger and thirst for Him, and maybe this is how it is...but it doesn't feel right when I say "I love Him, most of the time..." How would I feel if my husband came home and said, "I don't love you today, but I might love you tomorrow!"

Oh! I would die! But the Lord hears those type of statements all the time in our attitudes, and our actions. And for that, I'm needing to repent. I recognize it's an all the time thing, and not a "when I need it..." thing. Lately I have sought the Lord more than any other time in my life, and my love for Him has deepened and grown, but I want it to be the first thing on my lips in the morning and the last thing on my lips at night. I want my heart to sing His praises of adoration all through the day, and well into the night. I want to be as if I am "falling in love" with the Savior. And this is why He represents Christ and the groom and the church as the bride...

Friends, He is our long awaited Groom! He is that one your heart longs for! Our earthly husbands are surly one of our greatest gifts, but the one who should first hold the key to our hearts...is Christ...

I'm examining my heart today...

And this is love, that a man lay down His life for another...isn't that what the scriptures say?

That is exactly what He did for me, and for you, and I feel a host of many emotions when I really spend the time and focus on that truth.

I heard a song that said, "It's gotta be, more like falling love, then something to believe in, More like loosing my heart then giving my allegiance...caught up, called out, come take a look at me now, it's like I've falling, in love."

Does that describe your relationship with the Lord? If not, why? And how can it be fixed...

As I answer those questions for myself, why don't you all ponder them as well, because friends, He loved you first, and then He offered up His very life for you, and when we waver as He asks us to follow Him? Oh friends, lets not miss out on the greatest love imaginable.

This is what happens...

When I leave the room... now isn't that fun? :)

The look of love

Throughout the Bible and things we know about Jesus's ministry days, leading up until the very moments of His death, we hear of Peter.

This man, whom Jesus said was "the Rock" and whom was the one I will remember having the most blind passion...

I love love love Peter. His strengths are so strong, and his weaknesses so visible..and his relationship with Jesus was so real. Although he had his definite moments of fear, (sinking in the waves, wanting his whole body to be washed rather than just his feet, his disbelief about the Lords plan of death on the cross, his cutting of the centurions ear, and finally, the denial)

his weakness were not seen as disgusting to Jesus, they were in fact all apart of the Fathers plan..They were allowed only by the will of God and they brought fulfillment to God's ultimate plan for Jesus's ultimate gift.

What do I mean by this? Jesus knew. He knew it all, but he allowed Peter to face the trials of his own unbelief, the reprocutions to some extent of his taking things into his own hands. But Jesus did not turn with hate and anger towards Peter in his moments of fear and weakness, instead He, said words of encouragement, things that challenged him, and ultimately showed the power of God and the authority of God.

Statements like "Get behind me Satan..." showed that Peter did not have the things of God at heart...he made statements in blind passion, (that which is also beautiful) but ignorant to the plans of God. But Jesus knew His heart. And friends, Jesus knows our hearts too...

Let me take this home. There are many times that I have a plan. My plan is not always in line with God's..I may rage in blind passion against the plan of the Lord because I so firmly believe that I know whats going on. When Peter denied the Lord, and the rooster crowed to confirm the words of Jesus, Jesus walked out of the temple as He was on trial, and He looked at Peter as this cock crowd his last...and their eyes met. Oh the feelings that must have been felt by Peter. He disowned the Lord. And so have I. Maybe not with words, but of attitudes of heart. Every time I tell the Lord that "I can do this one on my own...and I think I'm going to try my way..." I am disowning the Lords' plans for me. I am taking matters into my own hands and playing God in a sense. Gently God prompts my heart to think. He sent a servant girl to question Peter about His following the Lord...She was not at all intimidating in the world's eyes, but to Peter, it was enough to make him fear. Jesus first I believe asks us to take little steps of faith. "Follow me here"..."listen to me on this," and if we fail to do so with the small things, sometimes bigger things are sent our way to challenge us more. Finally, the centurion who was next to the man who had his ear cut off challenged Peter...this was right before the cock crowed. And then the look of love came from the Savior. I have felt that look of love too...after I recognized my deep deep folly. My trusting in "horses" and "chariots" rather than the Lord my God.

I have been Peter this winter. I neglected to claim Christ in my heart and mind with all my attitudes of the heart, and I know, I told the Lord in my heart, "I've got this one."

Friends, "we can never, 'have this one' when God is in control." Because God, has it all.

And it's in the moments of temptation and trial that we truly have the opportunity to show our loyalty to the Father and honor Him, and bring Him glory.

In all of this great trial that Jesus felt as He was tried, beaten and abandoned by His own, He never told God that "he could do it on His own." Nope. He portrayed the most peace, the most dignity, the most strength and the utmost trust in the plan of the Father, which is why Peter was so disgusted with himself also.

So, Peter ran out and wept tears of bitterness and sorrow...and as he recognized his sin, he repented. Repentance is where you agree with God to call your sin as sin, and that we are through with it. Done. That my friends is the key to recovery. Admitting that we are weak, and He is strong. That in our own power we can do nothing.

That last one has been the key phrase for me this year, in my own power, I can do nothing.

It is by God's grace that Peter was saved, it is by God's grace that Peter came out of his trials with faith, and so it is with us. Jesus enables believers to walk through every circumstance of life with dignity, courage and composure, rather than taking things in our own hands, denying the Father and going out on our own. Looking at the great great ministry that Peter went on to have have Jesus rose and returned, Peter was so close to the Lord, when he was martyrd for the Lord, He asked to be crucified upside-down so that he would not die the same death as his Lord. Talk about faith.

I have had to repent of my unbelief in the Lords power and His ability to conquer my trials with me, and indeed give me what I need. And I pray the same for all of you friends, if there is a trial that is taking your breath away in your life currently, remember this, God is your sustainer. And He is your strength. Just looking at His example in the story of His trials leading up to His death on the cross, gave me hope. I pray it does for you all today as well..

"God is greater than our hearts, and He knows everything." 1 John 3:20

The Journey to Thankfulness

I would not have considered myself a very thankful person for the better portion of my life. I almost expected good things to happen to me, and when they did not, I was angry, bitter and confused. It is true that the scriptures say that He the Lord desires to give us good gifts, just as we desire to give our own children good gifts, but consider this: How do you feel when you buy your child a toy and at the moment they are ecstatic, but as the day wears on the toy is soon broken or discarded, because the newness of the gift wore off, and it's hard to remember as parents if we were even thanked...

In a nut shell my friends, this is what I have done to my Lord and Savior most of my life. He who bless me with something, and might remember to say thanks, but I would say 80% of the time I would chalk it up to "good luck," or even "chance" that my good fortune came my way. I was not a very thankful person. Things are different today my friends. Things are different. They are different because I see what I never saw before, what I was blinded to, and that is the constant provision of the Lord. I am not talking about the new pair of shoes that I got, (although He did bless me with those) :) but the day to day provision for my hunger (and I'm not talking about stomach hunger), sustenance for my soul and the strength to get up and praise His name...even in the famine.

"In times of disaster they will not wither, in days of famine they will enjoy plenty..." Psalm 37:19

What does that mean exactly, in context, it's David speaking about the times he personally was in, times of physical famine and I also believe with the depth in David's soul, he was also referencing famine of the "good things" that life has to offer.

David experienced times of great blessings in His life, he was after all the prophetic representation of the Christ to come... but David also experienced times of many trials.

And so did Jesus. Jesus, was the most tried figure I can think of. Daily He was mocked, rebuked, disbelieved, and then in the end, tried before the Jews...several times...and then crucified.

My trials look nothing like that. Do yours? However, I am not diminishing the trials we face today, and I have had a definite season of trial...but what I am getting at here, is that even though I have walked through the barren lands, I still felt provided for. I still felt held. There were moments of fear, moments of shivering, crying, and heartache...but even in those hard times, the Lord fed me.

He fed me with His love, His peace, His joy, His constant reassurance that His hand was there guiding me and holding me up. Most of the time I just felt as if He was moving my limbs for me. He was dressing my children, and making them their lunch for me. He was so in my every day life, I honestly know my life would be a heap on the floor without Him. And there is no shame in that.

"I was young, and now I am old, yet I have never seen the righteous forsaken...or their children begging for bread." Psalm 37:25

David again was making a statement here that looks can be deceiving. You may be a pile or heap on the floor, but the streams of life are still flowing through His veins, and the joy comes are we soon are able to raise our heads off of the floor and see that a feast has been spread out before us and the hunger is quenchable. Quenchable only by Him though my friends. The world cannot quench the deep holes we have within us. The answers and understandings of this world leave us more empty then before and we will soon return to our heap. It when I stopped turning to the world for answers that the joy took over. And I arose from my heap on the floor and took steps towards the feast that the Lord has laid out for me. And oh how thankful is my soul.

"THE LORD SETS PRISONERS FREE, THE LORD GIVES SIGHT TO THE BLIND, THE LORD LIFTS THOSE WHO ARE BOWED DOWN, THE LORD LOVES THE RIGHTEOUS. THE LORD WATCHES OVER THE ALIEN AND SUSTAINS THE FATHERLESS AND THE WIDOW, AND HE FRUSTRATES THE WAYS OF THE WICKED. THE LORD REIGNS FOREVER, YOUR GOD, O ZION, FOR ALL GENERATIONS. PRAISE THE LORD!!!!"

Psalm 146:8-10

And David had much more to say in this glorious chapter of that wonderful book of praises...I would encourage you friends, if any of this describes you today, spend some time in the words of David and let the peace of God wash over your soul.

And it is with thankfulness in my heart that each day, I am able to thank Him for things that I never even would have seen a while back. It is with this thankfulness that I can see the good where before, I only saw bad. His lessons, His hands that guide, His words that instruct, His peace that washes a soul, His joy that surpasses anything I could've ever understood, and His glory that is due, are all things that I never would have seen...Had He not grabbed a hold of my heart and shook my little unthankful world up in such way, O what I would have missed.

Learn from my mistakes friend, don't miss this. Don't miss God in all His glory. Don't miss the blessings and the opportunities to thank Him and praise His name. It's our gift. He is our gift and for Him and to Him, I shall be forever thankful. Nothing is expected, and the goodness of His goodness is not missed. What a friend I have in Jesus.

Sifted as Wheat

Today, I have been doing a lot of thinking. I started out the morning feeling like this, "how come I always end up feeling like such a failure? Like I'm constantly betraying the Lord, and not being the child I am asked to be? The child that I know I should be." My patience level decreases as the day comes to a close and my tolerance for the things of this world, (naughty children, rude comments from others and painful situations in life) grows increasingly smaller.

That is my flesh. And for that, I am sorrowful. I know that I am wrong in that and of course, I know that the Lord intercedes for me, when I ask, so I have tried to be more consistent about inquiring of the Lord..."Should not the people inquire of their God?" Isaiah 8:19b

And so I have been...and this morning, as I read the parallels and the differences between the sorrow of Judas who betrayed and also, Peter who denied I couldn't help with identifying with these men. Sinful to the core. Selfish to the core. Their own survival being of greater importance that some discomfort that might come with the association with Christ. I was sad for them and I know I too have missed out for the same reasons. Judas main differences was that his heart was never the Lord's to begin with. It was always his own. His great purposes were Judas plan and aren't we all there at some point? But the prayer is that we grow into a more "Peter like" character and become shamelessly passionate and in love with the Lord. Blindly we should jump out of boats into the waves, knowing He is there...but it was also Peters quick words that got him into trouble, as He exclaims, I follow you even to the death Lord!!! And I truly believe in that moment, he meant it, but the passion faded as Peter looked a almost certain death in the face if he answered the little girls question of "aren't you also one of them?"

It was with that same passion that Peter, threw himself before the Lord with the statement of "Surely NOT LORD!" when Jesus explained to His followers that He would have to face suffering at the hands of many men very soon... Peter's love for the Lord proved to be a tool of the enemy because it was then that the Lord replied to Peter's blind passion, "Behind me Satan!" and then later Jesus tells Peter this..."Simon, Simon! Satan has asked to sift you as wheat... But I have prayed for you that your faith may not fail, and when you have turned back, strengthen your brothers.." Luke 22:31

Now, I am not claiming to have a matchable life to Peter, for Peter was to the core, a true man of God, and I am my friends, a timid work in progress...but at times this year, I have felt the power of the Lord's prayers on behalf of me. The fact that this happened then, you know it happens today, the enemy is as deceitful as ever and it's true that he watches us for weak points and when he hears us exclaim, "I don't have a problem with that..." or "that doesn't affect me..." You had better be on your guard my friends because this is when and where Satan attacks. Not one of us is above something. Not one of us is better. And all of us are susceptible to anything that falls into the "sin" category. SO be watching friends, and I say this to myself most of all...Satan can still ask to sift us as wheat.

The knowledge of Christ, and knowing Him this past winter in a deeper way than I ever have, has saved me from such sifting. But take heart my friends! The fact that Satan wants to sift us, is proof that we are doing things to further the Kingdom. I have had many many years of my life where no real work for the Lord was accomplished. Lots of work was done for myself, just as Judas lived out his ministry for himself...but somewhere along the lines in the past 2 years, the Lord decided it was time to make me wake up to my sin. And as I did...my eyes were opened, and the sorrow, bitterness, and the finally the repentance set in. I am small. I know this, and I want to stay that way in my own eyes because as soon as I feel the attitude in my heart creep in that states.." I've got this one. I can do this on my own now..." I'm dead meat.

I am the Lords. My breath is the Lords. My every move, thought attitude and step is in the Lord's power and not my own. And with the winter I've been through, I know this to be true. The reason I can say all that I say today, is proof that the Lord has been interceding for me, and praying on behalf so that I do not fall in each step I take. For not only am I small, but I am weak. And it's only by His power that I can be remotely strong.

So friends, today, lets consider this...are we allowing Satan to use us? Are we unknowingly being his projector? Either with our mouths or actions? We are to be Christ's vessel alone, and trust me!! If Jesus said this to Peter, His intimate pupil and friend of three years, then we are most certainly not any different.

Lets be on our guard my friends. This life, is a journey of constant repentance which leads to greater faith, growth, hope, joy and peace. It's a ride, but it's worth it. All the while we are more and more fulfilled and hopefully our desires are to further the Kingdom, Give praise and glory to God, and keep in mind, our rewards are in Heaven, as He sees all we do.

"With Man this is impossible, but with God, all things are possible." Matt 19:26

And of course we know, it is all done by His mighty and great unfathomable power.

Easter Morning

Yesterday, I had the sweetest Easter of my life. Not because of all of the candy and cake and yummy things...but because it was the first Easter I have been really truly thankful. It is the first Easter I really truly felt sorrow over His sufferings and the first Easter that I sat in worship on Sunday and praised Him just because He is God.

Perhaps all of you have been doing this very thing for years, but I have not and I felt the difference. I clung to every word of every worship song because I wanted to offer the Lord the most praise possible...because friends it has finally sunk in that He died for me. As I read my Bible the day after His death, (good Friday) I sobbed uncontrollably as I read about the crown of thorns that was placed on His sweet head, and pushed down until the blood flowed. For me. And as He asked for a drink because my Lord was thirsty and they shoved vinegar in His face instead. He did and bared this for me. And then as He died, and looked down at His mother weeping at His feet, He motioned to His disciple and say, "This is your mother..." I just fell apart as I read this. He put His mother through that, For me. And I dare to question His authority? I dare to question His words? I dare to question His plans? How dare I.

And for those of you who think that I am being to hard on myself, I am not. I know that I am forgiven, but Oh my Friends! He died for me!!!!! And He died for you too...

We all need to be examining our hearts, and I did that morning, first so humbled..so sad that that was had to happen to my Lord. And even though I know He is now sitting at the right hand of God, robed in all His glorious glory...He still had to walk through all of that. For me.

So yesterday, as I offered Him up my best offering of praise..I found myself wanting to throw myself down before the cross at the front of the church and weep...kiss the cross..bury my face in the purple sash..cry out before the Lord my utmost thanks and my deep deep grief that I caused Him to have to experience such pain. For me.

I know the beauty of this and silver lining of this story is that He rose, in even greater glory and that the sin of death was dead. And the gift of life was now risen...and this is why yesterday during worship I could raise my head in praise, in confidence that I am forgiven, and He does not see me as sinful...He sees me through the eyes of Christ.

For the first Easter I do believe I gave my Father the praise He deserved...the thanks...and the passion. There is always more that He deserves...but it was if I felt that I was in a room alone with the Father...sitting at His feet as He was on His glorious throne, just praising Him for all of His glory...giving Him the praise He was due.

I know He loves me. I know He is forgiving, but I want to praise Him for who He is to me, not for what He "blesses" me with or what I want for Him to give to me. I want to sing His name at the top of my lungs because He is just who He says He is. The Lord Almighty. The King of Glory. The Hope of Nations. My Strong Tower. Deliverer. And My Faithful Father. Just to name a few.

So on the wings of Easter this year my friends, lets examine all of our hearts and see if we are on a daily basis offering our Great King the praise he deserves...

It may turn heads, it may cause others to be uncomfortable, but God is not concerned with their worldly comfort He is concerned about our hearts and souls and if they are living and giving honor for and to the right thing. Namely God. If we are worshiping the gifts of God, or the creations of God more than the Creator Himself, our praise is wrongly given.

Praise Him for who He is, not what He gives us. What He does, His miraculous signs are a beautiful display of His glory and power but He tells us "a wicked and adulterous generation looks for a miraculous sign..." Matt. 16:4

Don't demand a sign for answers to His plan that you are questioning, (trust me, I've been there asking as well) praise Him for the very fact that you can know without a shadow of a doubt that He HAS a plan...and He even asking for a sign is offensive after the gift of new life that He offered us at the cross...

So today Father, I come before you, thanking you for the cross. Thanking you and praising you for the gift of eternal life. With tears I thank you for sending your son..To die for me and for my friends here as well. I thank you for your patience. I thank you for your splendor for the amazing works of your hands. For your great great glorious shining beauty that I know (although I cannot fathom) I will be able to see first hand. Your to amazing for words. TO might for words. To unfathomable for words. You are the Almighty Majesty who gives me an opportunity to try and offer you a worthwhile gift. I pray that my heart of praise I worthy of praising you.

You are my King. You are my breath of life. You are my reason for existence. And I desire to make every move I make be movement in you.

Forgive me for my unbelief. Forgive me for my untameable weakness of doubt. Forgive me for my selfish heart. My times are in your hands, and there is no fear in that. I praise my Father who sits on His great and mighty throne.

Amen.