Throughout the Bible and things we know about Jesus's ministry days, leading up until the very moments of His death, we hear of Peter.
This man, whom Jesus said was "the Rock" and whom was the one I will remember having the most blind passion...
I love love love Peter. His strengths are so strong, and his weaknesses so visible..and his relationship with Jesus was so real. Although he had his definite moments of fear, (sinking in the waves, wanting his whole body to be washed rather than just his feet, his disbelief about the Lords plan of death on the cross, his cutting of the centurions ear, and finally, the denial)
his weakness were not seen as disgusting to Jesus, they were in fact all apart of the Fathers plan..They were allowed only by the will of God and they brought fulfillment to God's ultimate plan for Jesus's ultimate gift.
What do I mean by this? Jesus knew. He knew it all, but he allowed Peter to face the trials of his own unbelief, the reprocutions to some extent of his taking things into his own hands. But Jesus did not turn with hate and anger towards Peter in his moments of fear and weakness, instead He, said words of encouragement, things that challenged him, and ultimately showed the power of God and the authority of God.
Statements like "Get behind me Satan..." showed that Peter did not have the things of God at heart...he made statements in blind passion, (that which is also beautiful) but ignorant to the plans of God. But Jesus knew His heart. And friends, Jesus knows our hearts too...
Let me take this home. There are many times that I have a plan. My plan is not always in line with God's..I may rage in blind passion against the plan of the Lord because I so firmly believe that I know whats going on. When Peter denied the Lord, and the rooster crowed to confirm the words of Jesus, Jesus walked out of the temple as He was on trial, and He looked at Peter as this cock crowd his last...and their eyes met. Oh the feelings that must have been felt by Peter. He disowned the Lord. And so have I. Maybe not with words, but of attitudes of heart. Every time I tell the Lord that "I can do this one on my own...and I think I'm going to try my way..." I am disowning the Lords' plans for me. I am taking matters into my own hands and playing God in a sense. Gently God prompts my heart to think. He sent a servant girl to question Peter about His following the Lord...She was not at all intimidating in the world's eyes, but to Peter, it was enough to make him fear. Jesus first I believe asks us to take little steps of faith. "Follow me here"..."listen to me on this," and if we fail to do so with the small things, sometimes bigger things are sent our way to challenge us more. Finally, the centurion who was next to the man who had his ear cut off challenged Peter...this was right before the cock crowed. And then the look of love came from the Savior. I have felt that look of love too...after I recognized my deep deep folly. My trusting in "horses" and "chariots" rather than the Lord my God.
I have been Peter this winter. I neglected to claim Christ in my heart and mind with all my attitudes of the heart, and I know, I told the Lord in my heart, "I've got this one."
Friends, "we can never, 'have this one' when God is in control." Because God, has it all.
And it's in the moments of temptation and trial that we truly have the opportunity to show our loyalty to the Father and honor Him, and bring Him glory.
In all of this great trial that Jesus felt as He was tried, beaten and abandoned by His own, He never told God that "he could do it on His own." Nope. He portrayed the most peace, the most dignity, the most strength and the utmost trust in the plan of the Father, which is why Peter was so disgusted with himself also.
So, Peter ran out and wept tears of bitterness and sorrow...and as he recognized his sin, he repented. Repentance is where you agree with God to call your sin as sin, and that we are through with it. Done. That my friends is the key to recovery. Admitting that we are weak, and He is strong. That in our own power we can do nothing.
That last one has been the key phrase for me this year, in my own power, I can do nothing.
It is by God's grace that Peter was saved, it is by God's grace that Peter came out of his trials with faith, and so it is with us. Jesus enables believers to walk through every circumstance of life with dignity, courage and composure, rather than taking things in our own hands, denying the Father and going out on our own. Looking at the great great ministry that Peter went on to have have Jesus rose and returned, Peter was so close to the Lord, when he was martyrd for the Lord, He asked to be crucified upside-down so that he would not die the same death as his Lord. Talk about faith.
I have had to repent of my unbelief in the Lords power and His ability to conquer my trials with me, and indeed give me what I need. And I pray the same for all of you friends, if there is a trial that is taking your breath away in your life currently, remember this, God is your sustainer. And He is your strength. Just looking at His example in the story of His trials leading up to His death on the cross, gave me hope. I pray it does for you all today as well..
"God is greater than our hearts, and He knows everything." 1 John 3:20
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