Trying To Make It Better

It's been "that" kind of day. The one where your out on walk, and it starts to rain, you step in something wet with bare feet, only to find out it's pee. Your tired beyond belief and your children won't nap...yes. That kind of day.
As I felt my sickness creep into my body again, I decided to put my head down, continue life as normal, and get through my day. If only I could just get my kids down for a nap, all would be well. Nice try. An hour and 1/2 after we began the nap process, I give up on any hope of sleeping today, and just get up, (as I have been pulled from bed a 100 times since I first laid down an hour ago. And I started my complaining to myself.
This pregnancy is taking forever to be over with. I'm tired. I want coffee. I want wine. I want..I want..I want...
Sick of me yet? Well I'm sick of me too. I want out of me!
So, as I sat down to read the Bible today, it hit me, my desire is to end my "misery" my way...and fast! I want something quick and gratifying to make me feel better. That's what I always used to do when I had a bad day, I'd know I could go for a run, or have a late' or a glass of wine when my husband got home...
There was something "earthly" that could always cover up my problem for me for the time being, so that I could go on functioning again tomorrow. Right now, life is raw. There is nothing to season it with except with what's natural. The word of God, prayer, and a constant dependence on Him. In my heart, I know that His solutions to my pains are better than mine. Mine are usually expensive, quickly disintegrating and not what I really need.
"Rather...clothe yourselves with the Lord Jesus Christ..." Romans 13:14
What I can offer myself, is a band aid. The kind of band aid that will fall off as soon as I get wet. (meaning the start of a new day) What Jesus offers, is surgery. The kind that heals properly, and ends well. For He is a very successful surgeon.
I keep trying to make it better. I keep on doing my human best to take my pain away for a moment. But my way is not all that effective anyway, and a moment is truly all it lasts.
And I wonder...are any of you in the same boat as I am? Is there pain or trial in your life that is causing you to put a band aid over the top and call it "good?" Maybe you have 20 band aids stacked on top of each other because each day, the pain from yesterday still remains, so now you need double what you needed yesterday. What used to be one glass of wine, is now five, and what used to be 1 late' a day, is now three.
What are we doing to ourselves??? What are we trying to do?? Make ourselves feel as though we have no problems. Well this my friends, is our biggest problem. There is only one who can truly take those pains away...and His name is Almighty. We need to stop telling ourselves, fooling ourselves that we can make it better. We can't. And tomorrow when we awake, the pain will still be there, and the same old same old, will still be present, unless we ask for help. He will renew us. He will refresh us more than coffee, or a shower, or a nap, or a vacation ever will. We don't need a vacation from our problems...for when we return, there still there!! We need to allow the one true source of healing to do His Mighty work for us. Why? Why do we need to be healthy for real, rather than just pretending? Because of a few reasons. Pretending only hurts us in the long run. When we are in this place, we are unequipped to do His work...and pretending to do His work, with pretend strength, is us, trying to lie to the one who knows all.
I am not fooling anyone with my temporary fixes, and my earthly solutions. I say this to myself mostly, knowing that this truly is where my heart rests today, as I found myself dreaming of when life can go back to normal. But there is peace to be found right now. I don't have to wait until the baby comes, or until I feel better...peace is available to me right now. And, it's available to you too, we only need to ask, seek...and find.
I pray you and I both can do this today.