A long way up

If we looked at our journey from the bottom of the mountain I am fairly confident most of us would never even take the first step. But our lives instead are a constant steady motion of going forward, step by step, day by day.
As believers we can take comfort in the fact that we do not go this journey alone.
And what plans God has for us along the way are for our betterment, plans not to harm us, but to prosper us.
Does that verse feel worn out to you? Do those words not hold the same encouragement they did at the beginning of the journey when you were fresh? Was the start line so far behind you that  you've lost sight of what life looked like before you began this journey? Then this message is for you.
Despair not my friend.
You may be halfway up the steepest, seemingly unspeakable mountain. Are the rocks sharper than you care to speak of? The terrain rougher than you'd ever have believed? Raise your eyes child...
Look to the next step and see, your faithful Father stands with hand extended.
He will not time warp you to tomorrow, because He is with you in the now. He is standing with you on the rocky crag of today.
I've stood there on the ledge of today, and wanted to give up. When I was weary before I even began. But this usually happened when I looked down, or up the mountain, I have come to recognize the beauty of looking at the here and now. At looking at today. Only. Each step will come as He leads you by the hand.
There is no danger HE will not walk through with you. He will never leave you up there on the mountain. You however can turn around and leave His path, but the journey down without Him is worse than the journey up with Him. The climb may feel difficult, but in this journey you are learning things you could never learn had you not started up the mountain.
Whatever day it was that He looked at you and said, "Follow me.." as HE started up the journey He wanted to take you on...the date matters not, but what matters is that you followed Him. Stay in step with Him. Do not turn to the right or the left. You will hear a voice behind you saying, "this is the way, walk in it.." His Spirit will lead and guide you!
DO NOT DESPAIR! DO NOT TURN BACK. Keep moving in step with Lord.
He has you where He has you for a reason. He will never leave you. He will never run farther than He knows you can go. Be affirmed in His constant presence. Be assured of His knowledge. OF His wisdom! He knows what you need. He knows how much you can handle. HE knows your limits and He meets you when you get to the end of yourself. He will not stretch you farther than you can go because He made you, so He knows you fully. All your strengths, all your weaknesses, all your desires and all your hurts. He knew you before you even were.
Do you feel your assurance mounting? Do you recognize you are not alone?
HE laid down His life, that we could be set free. He wants to free us from whatever masters us. When you started up the mountain you are currently marching up, there was probably some personal demons He asked you to leave behind. Some things that held you captive, some ideology that He wanted to free you from. Whether it be some past negative thinking, some old way you used to live, some bondage of the mind... He looks at us and says, "Lets leave that baggage behind so you can walk up this mountain free..." but usually we try to lug it up the mountain for a while...soon we recognize how heavy our burdens are, so we begin to lay them down one by one in the grace that which HE provides. If we could see with spiritual eyes, we'd see back down the path we've climbed and it would be littered with our baggage. Hurt, pain, fear, dis-trust, anger and many other things that have held us captive would be littered along the path.
It is so freeing to travel hands free.
Like when you drop your suitcases at the baggage claim, and walk through the rest of the air port with out something heavy to pull! Isn't that freeing? When you transition from huge diaper bag, to small purse...how nice it is when your children learn to walk and can get out of that big baby car seat...life is full of examples of how lighter loads free us.
This is the process by which HE takes us as HE frees us from our past, our sin and our sorrows.
Jesus teaches us along the journey, and reveals to us our need to lay it down.
So here you are, on the mountain side, and feeling as though there is no end in sight. Is it the end that you really want?
I'm really not even sure any more, walking with Him has been so amazing..
I've learned more on this journey that I could ever begin to explain, but I'm going to try to take all these things i've learned, hold them up as treasures in my heart, and use these nuggets
to encourage others...
One day, I woke up, laced up my hiking boots and got ready for my journey for that day, excited about what He would teach me along the path, unafraid of what I'd have to go through, because as I had learned from the past, He is always with me. Over the past years of climbing I had seen how constant He was, and knew that I no longer needed to fear. The next step that i'd take really mattered not to me anymore because I knew He'd be there with me. As we walked He stopped. I stopped too. Knowing He is the light unto my path .... "Look over there, " He said, and pointed just a few steps ahead of us. "The top" He said. My heart caught in my throat. All these years of walking up this mountain, and we were finally here. The top. I had grown to love this rugged mountain. Filled with crags, and rough patches, times it was so steep I almost had to crawl. I had put blood, sweat and tears into this mountain side, and now that I had reached the top I wasn't even sure I wanted to be done. But here we were. The top. Tears started to roll down my cheeks, I recalled all I had learned along the way, and I began to slip to my knees. As I kneel there, at the top of the mountain I worshiped Him who had stood by my side the entire time. I praised Him and recounted every time He had called me to stand, taking my hand and helping me to continue  on. "Now what?" I asked? He looked at me, the deep wrinkles in face turned out as He smiled the  biggest smile I'd ever seen, and He replied, "Follow me..." In my joy I stood and together, I looked  back down the path we climbed up, only now, the path seemed different. It really wasn't the path that was different though, it was I who had changed. He had made me stronger, braver, and more confident in HIS ability to help and save. I started my climb afraid, doubtful, and trembling. He made me confident, hope-filled and fully trusting in His ability to completely save me. It was Him all along who got me through, and now I knew it for sure. I had such a history now to build on. I had a not a leg of my own to stand on, but knowing fully He was all I needed. And would ever need. Before I started the trip down, I stopped, and asked Him if I could spend a moment reflecting on all that He had done, He nodded. I built an alter on that mountain and offered sacrifices of thanksgiving and praise to the one who had set me free and conquered. Just as my forefathers had done years and years ago. I rose from my knees, and I told Him I was ready. He took me by the hand and together we started down that mountain, all the while I praised His holy, all powerful name.  I do not know what the next journey will look like but I am not afraid of it. His track record has been one of consistancy that makes me trust Him fully. I know my true journey, my ultimate journey will not end until I reach heeaven, but along the way as I travel this earth He will make me, shape me, and use me. And for this I am eternally grateful.

Perfect Forcast

You all know what that "perfect" day looks like, where no cloud is in the sky, the sun is shining and the temps are warm and the slight breeze is a delightful touch on your face. We've all had those days. Those are the days we tend to make big plans, and spend the days outside, rejoicing in the beauty of God's creation.
It always amazes me how different each day can be. One day may be as the description above, and the very next day the clouds can set in and the winds pick up and can bring  with it rain and turmoil. The creation we rejoiced over now somehow seems dark and we wonder, "what happened to the sun?"
It's on these darker days, these windy days, these cold days that we wonder, "why the change God?"

It's also on these cold, darker days that we decide, "it'd be better if I just stay in today."

I've noticed a trend in my own life that reminds me of the weather. When my life feels happy, sunny and joyful I tend to tell God, "yes, I'm available today, use me!"  And I gladly strap on my shoes, roll up sleeves and get to work.
But, what about the day that I wake up and the skies feel dark, and the rain is drizzling down in my heart, and with much heaviness I look to God and say, "Lord, today is the not the day I can do anything for you." And I hang the "closed " sign on my heart.
It's not that God couldn't still use me on these days, but I am not a very willing participant. This can happen periodically, and it may seem there are no negative affects  to those who observe this process...but it in essence says to God, "I call the shots, and I will be of service to you on my watch."
I do not recall Jesus ever saying that in His word or with His deeds in the 30 some years HE walked the earth...

What happens when it's been raining in your heart for weeks on end? Do you sit all these days out? Do you tell God that this is just a season that you are putting a "temporarily out of business" sign on your heart?

I've done this before. I close my doors, I shut my windows and tell GOD that when He brings the sun back out, then I will strap on my boots and head out into service again. But as long as keeps the rain coming, I'm going to stay where it's safe.

What happens though when the rain does. not. leave.

Anyone ever had this? You go to bed with such high human hopes that tomorrow will be good? And then tomorrow comes and the heaviness in your heart remains? We've all had these seasons i'm sure.
But in all transparency, ask yourself, "what do I do with this season?"

I will tell you what God asked ME to do. He handed me an umbrella, and a pair of rain boots, and said, "You can still got out."
I looked at Him in disbelief. I could not believe that He was asking me to work in these types conditions.
"Im not well rested. This rain has been keeping me up at night."

"come to me and I will give your soul rest" He said.

That was not the particular type of rest I was looking for I said.

But He persisted with my rain gear. When I failed to reach out and take it, He set it by the door and told me it'd be there until I was ready to take it.

I had no idea what that meant, but I grabbed my blanket and curled up my feet under me, and stared out the window, shaking my head, and musing to myself that I couldn't believe that He would ask me to do that. "pffff....go outside in these conditions. unbelievable."

Oh my hard heart. How I sorrow over my disbelief in His ability to conquer over the storm.

As the story continues, I will not leave you hanging, the rain did continue. I did not see the sun even peek it's face out for weeks on end. I started to despair. I began to contemplate moving. Thinking that if I moved to a new location my sun would come back out.
I took a little vacation even. I packed my t-shirts and flip flops, but when I got off the airplane, to my dismay, the rain had followed me.

I cried out in anger.

As I got out of the car upon returning from my attempted escape from reality, I stood at the gate by house, standing there in there rain, I looked up at the sky, and said to the sky..."you win. I surrender." And sopping wet, I ran in the house, and came out shortly with my rain boots on, and my umbrella in hand.

As I stood there with my rain gear, I waited, I asked Him, "what do you want me to do?"
I started walking. Looking. Watching.
Little drops fell off my umbrella, and splashed into the puddles that gathered all around me.
As I began to walk farther, listening to the rain, I began to enjoy myself. I saw the little bugs running too and fro, dodging the drops. I saw birds, splashing in the rain, and puddles.
The rain began to sound like a little song in my ears.
I saw a lady struggling with her groceries, so I stopped to help her. She smiled at me in appreciation. "I'm so glad you were out here to help me in this!" She exclaimed.
My heart caught in my throat.
"me too..." I replied.
I kept walking.
I saw a man in a wheelchair, getting soaked as he slowly made his way down the sidewalk. I handed him my umbrella. He looked at me in appreciation. As I watched him wheel down the sidewalk with my umbrella hooked to the back of his chair, I felt my heart warm and swell with joy.
I didn't even feel the rain splashing on my head as I continued on.
I shared a laugh with another fellow as I passed and we joked about our soaked condition. We walked together for a bit, encouraging each other.... He called out after me, " the rain will stop at some point."

Tears sprang to my eyes, I smiled, and responded, "I know, but I can still enjoy the day, even if it doesn't."
The man smiled back at me, "that's the spirit.." He said, and gave me a wink.

My step was lighter now. I almost felt like skipping. "Nice day..." I commented to myself as I walked onward. Completely soaked and happy...I knew this was what The Lord was talking about now.
All I'd seen and what I'd been learning, was building up to this day.
It was all to help me follow His plan.
I can't profess that I understand it. But I see His hand holding my hand.

As I rounded the bend to my home, I saw the lights on, and a fire going in my house..as I walked up my walkway, He opened my cottage door for me, there He stood, smiling. "Nice walk?" He asked. The tears sprang to my eyes.
I hung my head.
He reached out, lifting my chin, He made my gaze meet His. "I'm not mad at you...but this was something I had to teach you." He said.
Looking at Him with tear filled eyes I nodded. "Im sorry for my attitude.." I said.
"I forgive you. I always will forgive you.." He said.
Now I was sobbing. I threw my arms around His neck.
He embraced me for a while, and comforted me.
After HE left, I saw a new umbrella sitting in the corner of my entry way. I smiled knowing He had left it for me.

The next day when I woke up, I hoped it would rain! And true my hopes, it was raining! Laughing I jumped out of bed, I grabbed my boots and new umbrella, and ran out the door. I smiled, laughing as I waved at everyone I passed, "Nice day!" I called out to a woman I passed on the walkway. She looked at me in disbelief. And timidly smiled back.
As I came to the street sign that flashed "stop" I stopped to wait for the traffic, I looked over at the fellow I was standing next to, waiting for the light as well. There HE was! He looked at me, giving my shoulder a little half hug squeeze, the smile lines that ran deep in His face shot out as the corners of His mouth pulled up in a great big smile. "well done." He said.
Together we walked on.

The sun may come out soon, but even if it doesn't, I'm OK. I have Him to walk with. And now I know that I can't just work when the conditions are perfect.


I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength. (Philippians 4:11-13 NIV)

jump

Your toes touch the edge. Heart pounding you look down. Catching your breath you take a quick step back. not yet... "i'm not ready you think to yourself."

Your body is filled with mixed feelings of fear, relief and regret all in one.

Furrowing your brow with determination you say, "No!" And you step forward again till your toes almost go over the edge a bit. A rock moves and tumbles below you. Hitting the bottom of ravine a deafening "click" on the bottom of the ravine. 

Without thinking another thought your feet are off the edge, the feeling of soaring through the air nearly takes your breath away...the air fills your lungs like you've never felt for. Electricity pulses through your veins. What a rush. You looked fear in the face and you told it "NO." And you jumped.

The ropes of course caught you like they told you they would. It's hard to put your faith in something that is hardly visible. But as you found when you jumped, you were saved. Just as you were told you would be. Glancing back up from where you jumped from, you shoot your fist up in the sky as a victory cry escapes your lips...I'm not afraid you say.

There is only a step between faith and fear. One little step. 

And almost every person comes to a place at least once in their life where they have to make a choice. "Will I jump?" SO what edge are you standing on today? Is there an impossible situation you've faced? Has someone asked you to do something you think is impossible?  Have you faced a scene that seems done? A brick wall? 

The other night as I sat in my own little storm, I felt the waves crashing everywhere. Threatening to tip my boat over. I felt the freezing cold water on my face, and I thought of all the possible things that could go wrong. The boat felt safe, but I knew that I couldn't stay in the boat forever. 

"do you trust me?" I felt Him whisper over me...

"Yes Lord..." I whispered back.

I knew what He wanted me to do. I fought Him. For several nights I fought Him. I grabbed my fears back into my arms, stuffed them in my pockets and went back down below deck to try and sleep. 

SO then the next night He met me again. The storm was even more violent than it was the night before. It really felt as though my little boat was going to sink.  And then He called out to me again.."Do you trust me?" 

My heart pounded. I knew this was moment of truth. With my heart pounding nearly out of my chest I looked at Jesus and nodded.

Smiling He looked at me with a hand extended to me from the sea, and said, "what are you waiting for then?"

It was then that my heart leaped from chest and I literally jumped out of the boat like a hunting dog leaping for his masters kill in the water. I leapt. 

And do you know what? He caught me.

As I stayed there out in the unknown territory, what once felt so unsafe, now felt like the best place to be.

I knew I was right where He wanted me.

There is only one small step  that stands in the gap between fear and faith.

Has God asked you to move? Has He asked you do something that your flesh is fighting? Our flesh wants to stay where it's comfortable and safe. God may not always be safe, but in the center of His flame is the safest place you can be.

"The fear of The Lord is the beginning of knowledge." Proverbs.

If the fear of The Lord, is the start, then I have spent the first half my life just getting ready to start. 

I need not fear anything because God is the one who is in all, and by Him all things are held together.

HE works all things for the good of those who love Jesus and He is my blessed assurance.

He preserves me, and He is sustainer. 

Have I anything to fear? No. 

For He who is in me is greater than the one who is in the world.

If you are not assured by His presence, ask for His presence to be yours. If you are not comforted by Him being the only one you need to fear then ask Him to meet you at your point of fear. Ask Him to give you the courage through Him to step out, and leap through the air.

It may be only One step, but it's one step you cannot take in your own strength.

Every night I whisper prayers over my children to fill them with the peace of Him who holds them all night.."Fear not for I am with you..." -Jesus.

I'm in the center of His will, and it's not where I thought I'd find freedom, but jumping off my safety platform was the best (His best) I've ever experienced. 

When you read the scriptures with this mindset, it makes them come alive. When your starting point is fearing Him only, there is nothing to make you fear, and HIS word will ignite  in you what only He can. True life starts here.

No place I would rather be. But here in your love. 

It's not safe, but it's perfect. 

jump. 

I Already Paid For That----- (The Flight)

Sometimes when a person views the Christian life, it simply can feels like a list of "do's"
 and "don'ts." And ironically, many believers can fall into the trap of living like it's just a list of "do's" and "don'ts." We are by nature people who like to pay for our own price. Most people have a hard time accepting gifts in the payment form. And we are not quick to take a "hand out."
That is what makes Jesus's death on the cross for our sins so radical. It's saying in essence, the thing that you hold so close, your very life, was paid for and redeemed by Jesus.
"You mean I don't have to do anything to get Him to pay my price?" And the answer is, "Believe in Me." John 14...
I always have struggled feeling like I need to earn God's love. Be better. Do more. Live perfectly.
Well it's true that His word says, "Be holy for I am holy." And in some translations that says, "be perfect for I am perfect." But that holy living is not done in the name of, "Earning His love." For I will never be perfect enough to pay for my own sins. And when I strive, and search, and grasp to be better, please Him by making "sacrifices" and striving to be a little better than the next guy, none of this will add to my payment for my salvation, or earn me "more love" from God. The bills been paid, and the love tank is eternally full. It will not run out, or run dry.
You see we often view heavenly things, from an earthly perspective. In our world we have to pay for everything and there "is no such thing as  a free lunch." SO surely there must be SOMETHING we must do to earn God's love?
The answer is simple. Believe in the One He sent.
Striving has ceased.
Works have ceased.

We surrender to the One who paid our debt, and took our place. This is what it means to believe. To say with our actions, and our words that He paid our debt.

So in here has lay my problem for so many years. I have always said with my mouth "Jesus paid my debt." But with my actions, I am always trying to earn His approval.
When in reality, all the approval I ever needed was given to me freely the day I accepted Jesus's payment for my sin.
I put myself under a microscope and if there is anything that appears unrighteous in my life, I take a tweezers and extract it. I try to be perfect. That is just not possible my friends.
Perfection is found in Christ alone.
I will never be able to act, respond, and be perfect.
Now I can seek Him for  holiness, because He is my example, but I will not have to strive. Because holiness relies on Him to refine me, I look to Him for this type of growth.
I don't strive endlessly in vain pursuit of something that is unattainable in my own strength.

It's like this. I can flap my arms as hard as I can, even visualizing wings on my arms, I can strive this way for my entire life, but no matter how hard I strive, I will never fly this way.
However, I can board  an airplane, calmly lay my head back on the seat, and take flight with no real effort, other than that a boarding pass had be paid.
SO it is with Jesus. He payed my boarding pass. I am on the flight. Were are mid-air because Jesus got me there. There is nothing I have to do stay there in the air except to remain on the plane. If I jump off the plane and start violently flapping my arms, well I will crash to my death. My striving will bring me nothing.

So keeping in line with air plane analogy, I realized the hard way that I was trying to lift myself off the ground with my own arms, and it was getting me no where. So I took the ticket that Jesus handed me the day I received salvation, I boarded the air-plane and here I am. Enjoying the flight. There have been bumps along the flight, because everyone faces turbulence in their lives. Sometimes great, sometimes light, but regardless...when Jesus sees the fear in my eyes, and comes and sits down next to me, puts His hand on my knee and says It's going to be OK, I'm in control.
My white knuckles release and I am able to lay my head down and rest again.

You see, nothing I sacrifice on this earth will amount to anything, unless it is a sacrifice He has told me to make. Nothing I strive with will add to anything, unless He points to me, and say, "I've got a job for you to do today!"
And then it's with excitement that I can jump from my seat knowing He has something for me! I love it when He does this.
We are to love our fellow passengers, and love our Pilot.
And even this, daily He will help us unpack what that will look like.
Striving has ceased.

I'm done flapping my arms. I feel like a chicken when I do this. Striving, working hard, and never really going anywhere near where I feel like I should be. Striving in the flesh will fill you pride, if you happen to lift off a few inches, it will tire you and it will also cause you to make a lot of sacrifices you would not be required to make had you just accepted His grace to lift you up high in the sky...

SO if you don't mind, you can now unfasten your seat belts and feel free to move about the cabin at your leisure, we have to now reached an altitude of  45,000 feet. Enjoy your flight.

"For it is by grace you have been saved, though faith and this in not from yourselves, it is the gift of God not by works, so that no one can boast." Ephesians 2:8,9

"O Praise the One who paid my debt, who raised my life, up from the dead!" -song

Trying to "Figure it out"

It's that moment after the ball drops and all you're left with is an array of glass laying at your feet, in pieces like a Picasso painting. The wonderings and musing, and questions soon follow...(for me)
I scratch my head and think, "what did I do wrong.." "how did this happen?" "why did this happen.." I've heard it said that , "answers to the questions do not really make the pain go away..." but somehow I feel that if only I could just "figure it out.." I'd be better off. " So I wouldn't make the same mistake again..."
And then there is the old adage, "everything happens for a reason..." I swore I'd hit the next person who said that to me in the wake of my dropped glass ball.
My heart was filled with wondering and uncertainty.... until.... I rested.
That may seem like a oxymoron, to rest in uncertainty...but that may be another unique definition of faith rightly placed. Faith placed on the Unchanging One, allows me to rest, to lay down and sleep in the pile of my broken dreams and know that God who holds all things together, will turn this all for good.
The process in which it took to get me to my place of rest will be different than it is for you. Mine was  a twisty road, filled with mistakes and setbacks, but that is because I continually stopped along the way to point things out to my Maker. I'd whine a lot, and muse to Him that this was not my idea of a good time. My patient faithful Father would just stay constant and study with me, and we'd carry on. Always reassuring me along the way, whispering, "I'll never leave you..." as we walked along.
I'd try and do things to please God, thinking that in these actions I'd make Him so pleased that we could turn around and go back to, "the way things used to be, you know, before the ball dropped." He would stay constant and study...as I reeled at His unchanging course.
His ways are sure. He ways are true. As constant as the setting sun. I liked this truth about Him until He was relentlessly pursuing me... to have ALL of me.
Constantly I'd hear Him say, "trust me!" and His actions were always consistent with His words.
"Along unfamiliar paths you will lead me..."
There would be times along the journey that I would feel His peace and rest in His plans, and trust in His WAY,  and I would be so at peace. Then I would start to try and EARN His love and acceptance and favor again, thinking that if I was a good enough little girl, He'd give me what I wanted.
"thats not how it works..." He would say. "it's by grace your saved by me, not by works so that no one can boast." The gift of God is eternal life. But the key word is "gift.." you do not earn gifts. You receive gifts by the grace of Giver.
"Oh...OK.." I'd say, and He'd take my hand or put His arm around me and we'd carry on.
When he'd take my hand, or lift me up in His arms, it's as if He was saying, "I'm not mad at you daughter, but lets stay focused. Let's carry on..."
I'd wrap my arms around His neck when He'd pick me up...He knew when I was too weak to walk anymore. And He'd just carry me in His rest for 10, 12 hours sometimes....I'd lay my head on shoulder and I'd sleep... He always knows exactly what I need.

We came to a clearing in the path. Deep set in mountains, and there was a river. SO we sat down there and were still.
"Be still and know that I am God, and that I have great plans for you..."
I let those words sink it. I meditated on them. I rested in them for several minutes before I gather the courage to ask, " SO there is nothing I have to do to earn your rest?"
"Just that you would rest in me..."
The relief that flooded over me was inexplainable with words. I threw my arms around His neck and all I could do was weep, and say "Thank you."

"This is all my hope and peace, nothing but blood of Jesus! "

There is nothing in all of creation that will make me more holy in His sight than simple trust and faith in His Son's blood that was shed for me. This acceptance of His finished work on the cross makes me more and more thankful each day. Knowing that I bring nothing to table but my sin, and His grace that is all sufficient fills me with the peace that surpasses all understanding... and in that I can rest.

It's as if I equated that if my plans do not turn out the way I wanted my plans to turn out, when I wanted them to turn out, it meant that God did not love me. And that in order for my plans to turn out the way I desired, I had to do something more to earn His love and favor.

His love is not earned. It's given. His blessings are bestowed in countless ways that one cannot even begin to count...and His favor, like a staff, is constant as we lean on Him and rest in His way in surrender.

My greatest heartache, became my greatest surrender, which ultimately became my greatest journey towards resting in Him.

And my journey, and your journey is not done until the day God calls us home. So let us keep the faith, rest in Him, remind one another of how His plans are perfect, and good and right...and encourage one another that it by grace alone that we are saved!!!!

Even the surrender is not done in our own strength. In quiet trust, we rest. Knowing He's got the whole world in His hands. And He, unlike me, never drops the ball.  I have come to realize this process of surrender in my own life, and that if a ball drops in our lives, it's because He first of all allowed it, and second of all, He plans on putting the pieces back together in such a way that we are more whole than we ever were prior the ball dropping in the first place.

A Living HOPE---(A Road Less Traveled)

A stark reality begins to hit as you age, and it is this:  all things end. Good or bad, all events, lives and      experiences end at some point. All things, except our living hope, namely, Jesus.
I say this not to depress you, but more to point to you something better.
This verse hit me this morning as I read the Word:

"Paise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In His great mercy He has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade-- kept in heaven for you who through faith are shielded by God's power." 1 Peter 1:3-5

I am the first to admit that there are times in this life, that I feel hope-less. But the reasons that these feelings creep in and overtake me are based upon the reality that I have begun (without meaning to) to put my faith and hope in things that won't last.

For a long time my hope was in my children, and it was in my ability to have more of them. Once that changed for me via the circumstances God placed in my life I began the soul searching journey of divorcing the things that were stealing the platform of hope that only belongs to Jesus.

I actually discovered many things that I placed my hope in. I had mistaken this earth greatly as the source of my ability to have hope. My hope lies no where on this side of paradise. My hope lies solely in the person of Jesus Christ and the redemptive, saving work He did for me on the cross.
That is where my hope lies.
For I know that as the above verses state, there is an inheritance awaiting me that is beyond my ability to comprehend. Eternity without end, in a place where there is no more suffering, tears or pain. A place that the earth is completely restored to it's original God planned perfection (prior to sin entering in) and I get to be there. With Jesus.

My hope is found in nothing less that Jesus blood and righteousness.
He enables me to live a life that filled with hope because I know that He is holding me fast, keeping me and with me always. I don't have to be afraid of my hope "walking out on me.." or dying..or ending.
My hope is placed on something (someone) that is eternal.

Does that mean that I am spared of suffering? No. But I am promised hope through the suffering. How can this be? Because even in the midst of trial JESUS is unchanging. He is there, causing me to fix my eyes not on the pain, and sin of this present darkness, but rather, on the hope that is, and the eternal home that awaits as I rest in Jesus Christ alone.

False hope is a hope that is based upon people, circumstances, events, and things that give temporary excitement. Everything new gets old, every thing fresh will fade. Except Jesus.
I know we are a society of options, we like choices.
But with Christ there are only two things you can say to His hope that is offered, "yes" or "no."

Most of my life, I unknowingly, and knowingly, said "No." To the hope that Jesus offered.
Today I answer with a resounding "Yes!" To the hand of hope that is extended.

Think of it as a a fork in the road. At some point, we all reach it. And we must pick which way we shall go. To the right is the boldly printed sign that claims, "True Hope is found in Jesus."
The other road boasts a sign, "Find hope in anything you want."

All athletes know that the road of least resistance is not the road you take for gaining strength. The road that boasts success anyway you seek it sounds nice on the surface but will it really end well?  I traveled the wide, "easy" road for much of my life, and I promise you that my years on that road were the most tumultuous of my life.

The road I walk with Jesus by my side has been a beautiful but challenging journey. There has been some loss along the way, tears I've cried but wherever the tears fell, flowers shot up from the ground. Jesus made beauty of my sorrow, and laughter in my tears.
He holds my hand and tells me with reassurance that "He will never leave me nor forsake me."
Sometimes I'm tempted to glance over to the other road, the one that is wide and filled with people, but over there, the tears do not spring up flowers. The tears fall on rocks and stay there. The laughter although loud, is hollow. And the people, although beautiful, they are fading and the lines on their faces boast many years of covering up pain with a fake smile.

No, I shake my head, take Jesus's hand and together we continue up the beautiful, more challenging path we're on, were heading up the mountain, and I can see the sun rising between the peaks. It's treacherous,  but I feel safe. I know if I get tired Jesus will put me between His shoulder blades and carry me for a while. No, I wouldn't want or dream to be anywhere else. For with Jesus my hope is held. With Jesus my life is secure. I look up into His face, He looks down at me, and smiles. O yes. I am right where I need to be. I sigh a sigh of peace. And together we keep on walking up, up and  up...

"And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age." Matthew 28:20

Obedience is....

Everyone knows the song, "Obedience is, the very best way, to show that you believe." My kids sang that at school last year in their program, and it affected me deeply.
"To obey is better than sacrifice.." (1 Samuel 15:22) "The Fear of The Lord is the beginning of wisdom" says Proverbs...
There are more verses than I can count in His word about fearing The Lord, obeying His commands and following His will.
Jesus wants all of me. He wants my obedience, and O the peace that will flood in and does flood in, when I live out my days in the way He desires.
He does not want my sacrifices, He does not want me to say, "O Lord, I'll give away all my possessions to demonstrate my love for you.." He may say, " All I want you to do is to offer to babysit that single mom's kids..."
But in my mind, I always am trying to come up with the perfect offering to Him, to show Him my undying love. He says, "No, Just obey me. When I say don't buy those expensive clothes, then don't do it. When I say, stay up late and spend time with me, do it.."
He never makes demands of us that don't make sense in the span of His eternity. He is perfect. Wise, and all knowing. SO when He convicts us or asks us for action we ought to obey. It's not difficult in theory, but sometimes obedience is uncomfortable, or "inconvenient"  but it's best we obey.
Obedience brings life to our bodies and peace to our hearts...
He may ask you to speak up about His name in a circle of friends that does not esteem Him. That can be uncomfortable. But obey, because the blessing that follows in various forms of peace and growth, will astound you. (and me)
Being obedient does not always take great strenuous action, (although at times it may)  it usually just requires  we do what He has asked.
This is why it's important to give Him our days, He has them already, but to offer Him our days, and say, "Speak Lord, Your servant is listening." And then do what He says.
O the peace that would overtake my life if I offered Him my every moment like this. But more often than not I am too busy. I'm moving to fast, and asking Him not of His desires for my moments and days.
Let me bless others with my words. Let me speak when He says, "speak." Let me move when He says, "move." I wonder how much better my days would flow if I did this.
My guess is the change would be astounding. I've seen Him move and breath in and through my day and it makes such a difference when I flow with Him, rather than against Him.
I believe when I live with an attitude of obedience, I am always watchful. I am always waiting to hear  His voice. "Move me Lord, lest I not be moved." I want to move and the impulse of His love. Not that I am paralyzed without Him, but my peace is blacked out when I fail to listen and obey.
IF there was ever a time in your life when you said "God said No..." but you proceeded in your own way, recount your steps. Go back to the place where He said No, and start over. Isn't that amazing about Him?? His grace is sufficient, even when we first did not obey. Now, we may face repercussions from our past mis-steps, because we live in a world where consequences happen in the natural sense from mistakes made. BUT, He will forgive us, forget our sin,  and use us to further His Kingdom, taking the pain of our sins to encourage others who are in danger of falling. This is how He takes the things that the enemy intended for evil and uses it for good.
"He will keep in perfect peace the one who's mind is steadfast  because they trust in you." Isaiah 26:3

"If your law had not been my delight, I would have perished in my affliction." Psalm 119:92

God in His goodness, sees us in our humble estate, offers us guidance, helps and sustains us in and through every day here on earth.
If you are believer, earth is closest you'll ever get to hell. God knew this earth would be a challenging place to live for us as believers, because sin runs rampant here, so HE gave us His word, and His Holy Spirit to lead and direct us, to give us a better way.
Obedience is the very best way, to show that you believe.

"In fact, this is love for God; to keep His commands, and His commands are not burdensome." 1John 5:3

The Consistent Parent (short devotional)

Jesus, my example, is consistent by nature.
I however struggle with consistency. I don't use a cookbook, I hate plans, and routines are my enemy. So why O why does The Lord call me by name? Because He is in the business of making people who don't look like Him, look a lot more like Himself.
Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever. (Hebrews 13:8 NIV)

The one place I need consistency the most, is in my parenting. I need to learn from Jesus in all things, because in Him all things hold together (Ephes 4) but also because He alone can  supply me with the patience, gentleness, and kindness that I need to be the type of Mommy that He wants me to be. I need to learn from Him, glean from His word, and fill up on Him before I step foot into my parenting role. TO get His word inside my heart, I pray for protected time with Him. (uninterrupted) so that I can gather all the goodness I need to be who I know only He can make me to be, (so I don't lash out at my loved ones)
We start out each day as Mothers with the best of intentions, but truly, when 10pm hits, we're all in bad shape usually. (at least I am)
We are by nature not eternally consistent.
God can create this consistency in us. Not by any strength of our own though mind you. Rather, by His grace He supplies us strength in our weakness, and fills our empty starving souls with the strength, ability, know-how and fuel to be the parent that brings God glory in all things. Because He does after all, make all things hold together.
My two verses that I want to be IN ME, are this:

Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. (Colossians 3:12 NIV)

AND....

Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. (Ephesians 4:2 NIV)

Aren't those great verses?

And unless I pray for the strength to apply them, and infiltrate them into my life they remain His word on a page.

Dear Lord,
This day is yours and all that is in it. Bring these attributes to mind as I am reaching that place in my day where human strength begins to fail, it may be in 5 hours, or five minutes. But regardless, Jesus, I need thee every hour. You are the strength I hold too, the grace I need, the fuel that fills me up to be the parent you want me to be. 
You God are my source, and my sustenance. I need you more that anything else.
SO when the rubber meets the road, be my road. Be the highway to consistency. You are GOD and I earnestly seek you. Thank you JESUS that you are all I need. 
Amen 

(Feel free to make this little prayer yours today as well.)

The Day God Said, "No."

None of us like to hear the word no. Especially from the one in charge. Because, the one in charge has the final say, and we know that, that is the word that goes. So then we have to figure out what we're going to do with that "No."
My first response when He said no, was of course, tears. Lots of them. Then I grieved heavily for a long time. Then I got mad. Then I began to accept the no on many different levels, but continued to take the "no acceptance" back time and time again. Shaking my head and fist thinking, "this certainly could not have been for real."
But it was for real.
I look at the process I went though as I reeled around and around from that "no" and I wish I would have been able to just say, "OK Lord, your will be done. It's not my life, it's yours, do with it what you will."
I wish that had been my initial response.
But it wasn't. I know He doesn't blame me, nor is He angry with me for my response. But still, when God says no, it's hard. He must know it's hard...because He lets us process. He never shamed me or made me feel like I was less His child because I struggled with His no...( like I sometimes can do when my children real at my no's.) He just let me process and so I did.
Over the years as the "no" became my reality some would say that I just got used to my no, but I beg to differ. His no changed me.
I'll tell you what I can see as of now from His "no."
It has made me more compassionate towards others who have received a no. It has made me watch my words, and check my heart, and consider how others might perceive the way I speak of things that they do not have.
DO I appear to be taking something I already have for granted? I check my heart on that quite frequently.
I recognize that what I always want for myself is not what is best for me. Of course we know this in our heads, but getting our hearts to comprehend this is quite another thing. That is what GOD'S no, did for me. It allowed my heart and it's understanding of not "getting what I want all the time..." and to respond in a God honoring way.
Are there days I still ask God to change His mind? Absolutely. Are there days I don't beg Him to change His no to a yes?! Absolutely. And could shock me with a "yes" at some point? Yes! He's God! He's sovereign!  And His plans are perfect. But I will tell you what is different about the way I think about His "no" now. My hope does not rest in the "yes." My hope lies in the person of Jesus Christ. He is unchanging, unfading and always present. Therefore I will not fear. Though the earth quake and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, I will not fear. (Psalm 46) My God is perfect and in control and I know that He planned things for me since before the foundations of the Earth were put into place (Ephesians 1:4) and I cannot argue with His word when He tells me that He has plans to prosper me and not to harm me." (Jeremiah 29:11) God is good. Even when He says no.
The process through which we all come to understand His sovereignty is as different as we all are, and if you are currently on the heals of hearing a "no" from your divine creator, do not despair. Go through the process, but don't fight the No. Rest in His hands, rest in His twisting and turning of your broken dreams, and know that only when the Master has shaped things the way He knows they will be best, will He rest.
HE is twisting your story upside down? Have all the pieces and cards you held crashed to the floor beneath you? Do not despair. Trust. Rest. Rest in His word, that is truth. Run to His word because it will fill you with the strength you need. He is making you better, He is making you useful. Be bendable. Be mold able. Let your body fall into His hands and let Him use you as He  knows you will be used. In this place you will have the most peace, and the most contentment. It's when we fight His molding that we find real pain. The pain that will not go away.
The nights I cried with a heart so heavy it quite literally drug me to the floor, I was not at peace as I fought His will and plans for me. But when I succumbed, and trusted and then finally, rested in His plan, the peace like a river that I had always heard about but never experienced until then, flooded in.

"Be still and know that I am God ...." Psalm 46:10

Dear Mother of Children---- Childless

As I sat in church that day I had never felt more alone. I felt like someone had placed the "dunce" hat on my head to wear for the duration of the service. It really wasn't anyones fault, and I know that no one intended to make me feel this way, but I felt so empty. I had lost a baby a the month before, and now here I sat, on Mothers Day, with no baby. Years later as I reflect on that painful Mothers Day it makes me think about all the women who are Mothers in their hearts, but hold no baby in their arms. Mothers Day is a special day, and it's nice to have a day to honor those who have labored and spent their lives caring for children, and to honor your own Mother. This is really noteworthy. Just like a Birthday. It's fun to celebrate the day that God brought you into the world. But for those who are not mothers, and want to be, Mothers Day can be very painful.
Even for those who have totally found their identity in Christ and who are wrapped up in His love, still feel. They still can experience feelings of sadness over not having children in their arms that are their own.
Mothers, you are a mother because God put you there in that place. He asked you to care for some of His creations and requestsed that you do it for His glory.
Women who are not phyiscal mothers, God also handed you a package. It was not a baby of your own, but it may have been the little nieghbor girl who's mother left. Or, the child at the grocery store that you waved to, smiled at and said Hi to. Perhaps you noticed an un-noticed child, and made that child's day.
The other possible contents of the package could be wrapped up in millions of different ways that GOD has asked you to serve Him and to care for His creations. You are not less important because you were not handed the package labeled "baby."

That dreadful Mothers Day I experienced some 9 years ago, I went through without Jesus. I was not walking with Him then as I am now, and I see how dark and sad I was. I was looking for my identity in the form of children.
We as mothers do this far too often. Our children become our everything, and we get wrapped up in them. Rather than viewing them as blessings and an opportunity to bring GOD glory with how we raise them, we build our lives around them.
Dear Mother of Chidlren please be sensitive. The woman next to you who does not have children does not need to hear about your children, how many you have and how easy it was for you to conceive them. I know you may not mean any harm, but please be prayerful about the way you carry yourself this Mother's Day. Be thankful in your heart, wise with your mouths and gracious with each word you speak.
Be a blessing. Be mindful of those around you who may be struggling.
For the woman who is not holding children, it may be the point  where her heart is given freedom if she sees a mother with children being compassionate towards her in her childless estate.
I'm not trying to be controversial, and I 'm not trying to point fingers or make any blessed Mother feel badly. You are, as GOD placed you.
But help those who are struggling. Be a servent. Even on Mothers Day.
A mother might say, "but this is one day to honor me!" And I undesrstand these feelings as well, but it's like Valentines Day for the one who is single. For the single woman on valentines day, it's more like, "curl up and cry day" than it is "celebrate love" day.
You don't know where someone's heart is at. And saying, "they shouldn't feel that way" is liketelling a   grieving person not to grieve.
Everyone is on their own road to wholeness, and Jesus will and is working on His children's heart in His perfect timing. So be careful not to hinder the gospel, even in the way you celebrate your special day. I'm not saying don't enjoy your day, I'm saying, being mindful first of other people before you consider youself.
DO to others as you would have them do to you. That is the gospel of Matthew's golden rule.
Dear Woman with other blessings, you are loved. You are not less of a woman because of your life calling. Who God made you to be is perfect just as you are. Lay yourself into the hands of Jesus. You will find you're peace and joy there. Hope is found Jesus, not in what we are or are not blessed with. Who you are to the children of this world that you come into contact with is precious.
You have spiritual children, and you are right where GOD wants you as you run after His will for you're life. You are not less of a person, or unblessed because you do not have children. Take total joy in the fact that you have  a God who is doing what is best for you, all the time.

For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago. (Ephesians 2:10 NLT)

Ask God today dear Woman what God has for you that He planned for you long ago. Perhaps you have never done this, and maybe you have and this is just a good reminder. 
And know this:
You are perfect, precious and exactly the way God wanted you dear woman without children. 
And Dear Mother, You are precious, and perfect and exactly where God wants you. Be a blessing both of you, and in turn you both will bring GOD much glory.
 For what is it that we are to say??? IN all things, TO GOD BE THE GLORY.

Today I Stopped (my to-do list)

To be honest, I really don't like reading books to my kids. I know it's terrible. But it's not something I have made a great habit of doing. I have had much mommy guilt over this little truth But now my secret is out.
Today, it was a rainy sunday. I wanted to do many things inside. Cleaning projects, organizing, and such....
So I prayed as I often do throughout my day that God would help me to be "productive" and that I would complete the tasks He wanted me to do today.
Turns out, God's to do list for me was different that my to do list for myself.
As a mom, if you are one you'll know, there are many a task that one wakes up with in their minds to accomplish. She (the mother) sets out to do this and that, and keep her little home afloat and her children alive and if she's lucky, she gets a shower. (on a good day)
SO goes the life of a mommy.
But lists seem to grow as the children do, as I recognize that my "me time" slowly is slipping from my grasp as well. And I'd be lying if I said I am not at war with with my responsibilities at times. Today though The Lord (without my knowing it) focused me on what was really important. Today I read books. For a long time. A really long time. :) I put down my broom, (twice) and went into play Barbies.  Anyone else every been shocked by how creative their children are?! I was today. They live in a beautiful make-believe world of dress up, and daring knights and fancy dresses. I loved every minute of it. I took lots of pictures.
It was a little bitter sweet because I realize that this type of magic happens every day, and I miss it. I'm not beating myself up, because I realize that meals have to be made, and house has to stay somewhat in order in order for a home to feel peaceful, but I also realized a new truth: I can take a few minutes and play Barbies and make my girls's day. I can turn on the Disney cd, and dance around the room while I clean. I can be the Mother God can empower me to be, if only I ask.
I can enjoy the little magical moments, and it's a gift to enjoy those moments. Today was the kind of day that made me stop and think about how blessed I am. Today was the kind of day that I ended with a sense of real thanksgiving in my heart because of the miracle of life that I get to experience each and every day. I felt the spark today.
It's usually the little moment that I feel too swamped to take that would change the way I feel about the way I parent. When my children feel cared for, and loved, and important they don't nag. Or complain as much. They say things like "your the best mom ever," and "this was the best day ever." I smiled when my five year old daughter grabbed my face in her sweet little hands tonight and said, "today was the best day ever Mom!" She felt the difference, and so did I. I kissed her forehead and said, "Yes it was." because Yes, it was a great day. And because of God, and His amazing grace, every day can be the best day ever. He always takes the time to dance with me. To talk. He's always there. And He is not only my great supplier, He is my example. What HE has, is available to me, and He made that very clear to me as I prayed today, "Lord, help me to be productive." AND praise Jesus that HE told me that today, the laundry and dishes could wait. SO NO. My laundry did not get done. And my dishwasher is finally running, and I think there might still be Ketchup sitting on the table from tonight's dinner, but honestly, I really don't care. Today I felt His hand and His presence as I sat and just enjoyed my wonderful children. So tomorrow as I pray for productivity, I know He will lead me again as He sees fit, but in every productive day, I will also pray for moments. Moments to stop. TO listen and to be. Just to be still, and actually listen to my children's responses. To pay attention. TO give them focus time. TO play barbies or ninjas, or princess, whatever the flavor of the day is. Truly...I have but one life. And with Christ I can live it to the full...His way...His time. I am so thankful for this beautiful day that I almost missed because of my "to-do" list.

Let's Be Real (For Real)

He chose to be mistreated along with the people of God rather than to enjoy the fleeting pleasures of sin. (Hebrews 11:25 NIV)

Instead, they were longing for a better country—a heavenly one. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for he has prepared a city for them. (Hebrews 11:16 NIV)

“To what can I compare this generation? They are like children sitting in the marketplaces and calling out to others: “ ‘We played the pipe for you, and you did not dance; we sang a dirge, and you did not mourn.’ (Matthew 11:16, 17 NIV)

Serve wholeheartedly, as if you were serving the Lord, not people, (Ephesians 6:7 NIV)

The Lord saw how great the wickedness of the human race had become on the earth, and that every inclination of the thoughts of the human heart was only evil all the time. The Lord regretted that he had made human beings on the earth, and his heart was deeply troubled. So the Lord said, “I will wipe from the face of the earth the human race I have created—and with them the animals, the birds and the creatures that move along the ground—for I regret that I have made them.” But Noah found favor in the eyes of the Lord. (Genesis 6:5-8 NIV)

All these scriptures are verses that ought to make us think. You are here, I am here on earth for a few years. God created us. This truth we know. You and I are not here by chance or accident. Your parents did not accidentally conceive you even if they said it was an accident. It was not. God planned you. SO this begs the question of "why?" Why did He plan you? Why did He put you here?

Let me jump ahead, now you are 20, 30, 40 something...have you figured out why your here? To work a good job...to raise a family? To find love, to be love...what? What is your purpose...

Skip ahead again...
Your on your death bed... What is your "claim to fame.." are you comfortable in saying, "I lived a good life, I worked hard, and now I'm dying and that is all there is?" I'm going into the ground and there I'll stay. I cease to exist. I have no soul. I have no aftermath. I have no life to look forward to after death?
And if you believe you are going to an after-death place..where did you get that idea? What do you base your belief on? Where did you find your truth to base your confidence in as your life on earth slips away from you?
Good questions.
If you don't know the answers to these questions, no matter how old you are right now, it may be time to start questioning and seeking these answers.
I know, as I read Gods word, (the absolute truth) (how do I know it's the absolute? because I choose to believe that Gods plan is the only plan. All the other plans fail because they are human based. If you were trace them back to their beginning, they are based on human origin, and man is flawed, since the time of Adam.) Gods word tells me from start to finish all about His plan, man's sin and our way out, our escape.
Jesus, the nails that would be pounded through His hands, His life that was given for mine, and then, His  raising from the dead, ascension into heaven, His GIFT of the Holy Spirit and His plan for us depicted on all the pages of HIS word.  Tell me, beyond my ability to comprehend, that He in fact has a plan for my life, one that makes sense, and is learned, and followed a day a time.
I just find myself astounded that we as humans would rather live for ourselves for a few meaningless days and pleasure filled ways, than trust in a plan that has been set in place since before the foundations of the earth were laid. Before the earth was, Gods plan for YOU was already in place. Think about that. NO. really. THINK ABOUT THAT. Isn't that astounding?
Maybe you want to take a second and ponder in your heart how you really feel about all this.
Do you live a life that is centered on what YOU will do for that day, how YOU will make yourself feel good that day, how YOU will do nice things for other people based on how YOU feel about things? Or do you start your day asking GOD who made you, what HE wants for you, what HE has planned for you that day, how HE will have you impact the lives of those around you.
The bare reality is this: One day YOU will die. Your breath will cease to flow through your lungs, it will stop providing your body with life blood and life as you know it, will end. Just like that.   Is this thought alarming to you?
It doesn't scare ME one bit.
IN fact, it excites me. "Death is just a doorway to take me to my Faithful Lover. The lover of my soul." says a line in one of my favorite rap songs.

I think in the rush of each day, we live our every 24 hours based on emotions we have, feelings we go through and confusion that ultimately ends in many disappointments. I absolutely know these feelings because I lived my life this way for 24 years. Now on the other side of the coin as I have put my trust on Someone greater than myself, I see the polarizing difference of a life wrapped up in Jesus, Vs. a life wrapped up in myself.
I just feel like saying, "Let's be real!" Think about life in terms of your 80 to 90 years and consider, who your' living for, why and what the point of life is. What is the point?
My Point is the hope I have wrapped up in The Lord JESUS Christ. The one who guards my life, runs my life and set me free from fear of death.
O the hope that lies in just that one line.
If you have not thought about the things I am writing about, then perhaps you should. But I challenge you, to pray. Pray about these things, to the unseen God, and ask Him to reveal Himself to you. It is as simple as this. You can do it anywhere, anytime, and you can pray just as you are. With a sincere heart, wanting to hear from GOD.
You and the creator of the world can have a relationship. He will encourage you, give you life and grant you guidance hope and peace as you walk this earth.
You need only to call upon His name, and listen.
There are no magical words, no secret formula, no chant, no book that will tell you "this is the way you get God to hear you."
He only asks we come to Him with a sincere heart. One that is waiting upon Him.
Do so today. DO so right now. Ask Him.
Your life depends on it even though you may not know it.

I WILL earn my salvation

Heresy! Cries everything in me. And yet, my actions and my thinking slip down that path so easily. I come from a line of thinking that say's, "I will DO just a little bit more to earn His love." I'm always trying to BE a "good little girl" to earn God's love. This thinking is so flawed and I know it is, but I constantly have to fight the urge to try to be better for Him. When in reality from the moment He scooped me up and placed me on His heavenly lap He viewed me as holy and blameless, and my sins were forgiven. I have to remind myself that this is the reason that Christ came to the cross to deliver me from my striving. Striving has ceased! No more striving! No more trying just a little harder. No more walking on pins and needles, hoping  I did enough to earn His forgiveness. To try and earn forgiveness is to discredit the cross. There is nothing I can DO right now that will make Him love me more than He did the moment He went to the cross for me. He loved me then, as He loves me now, and no amount of walking little old ladies across the street will put me in better standing with my Lord.

"For Christ also suffered once for sins, the righteous for the unrighteous, to bring you to God. He was put to death in the body but made alive in the Spirit. (1 Peter 3:18 NIV)"

"When they came together in Galilee, he said to them, “The Son of Man is going to be delivered into the hands of men. They will kill him, and on the third day he will be raised to life.” And the disciples were filled with grief. (Matthew 17:22, 23 NIV)"

Jesus spent a lot of His "career" time on earth telling His followers that He was going to die. So either His disciples thought that Jesus had some sort of obsession with death, or they realized that there was something bigger than them going on here, and they had better listen and pay attention.
Don't you think that if there was some other way for sins thirst to be quenched and for forgiveness to be made available to us, Jesus would have taken that route? Don't you think that God would have made a different way if there had been a better way? Yes! But there was no better sacrifice for my sin that Jesus Christ. HE was perfect and spotless, clean in every way. The ultimate payment for our sin. And to say there is a better way is to elevate ourselves above God, and claim to that we would have done it differently although is feels as though we are looking out for Christ's best interests, it instead points to the fact that we like Peter, have in mind the things of man, and not God.

God did what only GOD could. By sending Jesus, He took away the sins of the world, for those who call upon His name, answer His call and receive the gift of grace and salvation. The gift also comes with the added extras, it comes with the ability to cease fire. We no longer have to strive. To earn. To feel the guilt if we didn't meet the daily quota of good deeds. My whole being breaths a sigh of relief.

All I can say is "thank you Lord." This freedom that He has offered me, (and you) makes me want to live a life of obedience to Him.
I'm sure you've heard the song, "Obedience is, the very best way, to show that you believe!" And it is.  After reading the book of Micah last night I left that book feeling a renewed sense of why we obey.
however strange it may seem these words came flying off the page to me,
"Heed the rod, and the One who appointed it." (Micah 6:9b) Heed the rod? Simply means to me, respond in obedience, for God is behind the direction or He is in this.
Doesn't that just come full circle and land me back on my earning His LOVE? NO! This is actually the beautiful melody of love that a heart sings when it's been set free. The song of obedience flies out your finger tips, and comes dancing out of your heart when you realize all that He did for you. You long to be obedient to the One who gave His very life for yours, so you didn't have to strive in your own strength, for you own salvation. My debt was paid. My sins are forgiven, and the chains on my wrists were unlocked so now I am free to use both hands to serve Him. And willingly I do so, because I realize all that He did.
I obey not to earn His love, but to rather to show my love for Him. The very word love implies that you are doing what is in the best interests of the one you love. To look out for the best interests of Jesus, for the integrity of the gospel and for the furthering of the Kingdom. To obey says, "Thank you Jesus for what you did for me."
And for the days I "screw up" royally, and do not fame the name the set me free, HE has grace and forgiveness for me in my folly. It's not a checks and balance system for Him. Nor is He waiting for me to screw up so He can say, "I told you so."
Grace is grace. It doesn't change. Neither does is love for me.
SO the next time I, (or you) start to consider either how badly we screwed up, or how great we did and "God must be so proud of me..." We ought to re-check, and check again, that it really is only by the grace of God that we are forgiven. Not by works. SO that NO one can boast.

"because of the surpassing grace of God in you. Thanks be to God for His indescribable gift!" 

2 Cor. 9:15

"Fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God."

Hebrews 12:2

It is finished was His cry. The wrath of God was satisfied, every sin on Him was laid. OUR PENALTY HAS BEEN PAID!!!!

The Great Unknown

Many I times I feel as if The Lord is asking me, "Will you go there, do that, say this, even if you don't know the outcome or the reason why?"
Will I trust Him when I can't see beyond my nose? Will I walk forward when He tells me to come, just because I hear my Fathers voice, and I trust that more than I trust the security of the known? The answer lies in one simple answer. It's either "yes" or "no".
Think about a child. Consider how they are, they come when you call because they hear their mother or Fathers familiar voice. They associate trust with that voice and whether or not they know why, they come a'runnin. I know my children are that way. Listen to what Jesus says in Matthew 18:3
"And He said: Truly I tell you, unless you CHANGE and become like little children, you will never enter the Kingdom of Heaven."

It's doesn't mean we need to forget our manners, start wearing diapers again and picking our noses! He is relating to the way children are faith-filled by nature. Trusting without wavering. This is the quality we are to possess in increasing amounts. Jesus wants my heart to follow after His voice whether I "get it" or not. Whether it makes sense in my mind, or not. HE wants me to follow.  This is not easy to do as adults. We have our roots down deep quite often, and it's very uncomfortable to change. but we must  if He says so. If out of the dark night and stormy seas, you hear is voice call out to you to come, you must. I must.  There is such a vulnerability that comes with living the Christian life. God constantly asks us to be open before Him. Be able and ready to bare all if asked. To surrender all we are to His mighty hand and rest in the shadow of His wings.

The reason we can be at peace in the great unknown is because of the pure and simple fact that we know He is trustworthy. Not only is He trustworthy, He is sure, constant and as study as the rising sun.
(which He created by the way)
And in all honesty, wouldn't we rather rest in the trustworthy unknown than the safe ground that we have no business being on?
God may not always feel as comfortable as our well worn sweatshirt, but HE is the best (the better) choice to find comfort in, even if His comfort finds us the great unknown place of life.
I trust Him enough to be in the place the I do not recognize because I know without a shadow of a doubt that He is with me. And He is better than anything familiar I will ever hold. It's scary to admit this, but at the same time, it's not. It's scary because my flesh likes what is well known. We are by nature habit forming and our lives can become one big habit, if we are left to our demises. But God is not willing to let me live each day in my comfortable pattern. He sometimes asks us to change because change is essential if we are going to grow.
The tiny seed in the ground does not become the beautiful flower until she is placed in a dark, cold, place. The poor little seed must feel so alone down there a foot beneath the surface. She might cry saying, "Lord, I can't even see the sun from down here." But it's as if The Lord says, "Just wait sweet little seedling. You will see the sun in all it's glory. Just wait for the right time." SO the seed sits. She suddenly begins to feel her familiar shell crack. The shell she had since she was created! She gasped at the horror of it all. Her shell, her nice safe shell, was cracking and revealing a very tender, vulnerable little stem that began to push through the dirt. As the days and weeks passed, the little seed didn't even know what "normal" felt like anymore. SO much of her had changed, she couldn't even tell, was she up? Was she down? She didn't know, so once more she cried out to the One who sees..."Lord she cried! Where are you? I don't even recognize myself anymore!" "I see you!"  He replies..."you are where you need to be. Trust me. I'm watching over you." SO she stayed in the ground. Till at last the little seed felt a new sensation, one glorious day, she felt her little face break through the surface of the deep, dark ground. " The Sun! The SUN SHE CRIED! " She was overwhelmed, she hadn't felt warmth for so long. She gazed up at it's beauty. "Lord!" She cried with joy..."I can see the sun..." The Lord smiled. "Now do you see little seed? " The little seed who had now become a little flower replied, "Yes Lord, I see. " "Trust me He said...and grow.." So she grew. She grew up to the sky as high as could. Each day the sun would warm her leaves, and in the evening the rain would water her roots so she was able to grow more the next day. All the while she remembered her dark days that she spent back when she was just a little seed. She couldn't believe what God had done, and how He made her grow.
If she had stayed a little seed, none of this would have ever happened....

I want to be, where He wants me. Because I know with all my heart and soul...God knows best. Who knows where that will be in 10 years. Who knows where that will be tomorrow. But regardless, I know, He knows. And that my friends, is all I need to know.

Yesterday

We have all said it, "I wish it was like it 'used' to be." Maybe not about every aspect of our yesterday, but really, in some cases, yesterday can appear better than what we are dealing with right now. It's easy for grown ups, like you and I to wish for the carefree days of our youth, or childhood. When we would run barefoot in the open field and play games with our friends, not having a care in the world and letting our parents deal with all the issues of real life. I'm guilty sometimes of wishing for such things to return. Sometimes, it's just remembering good memories. And there is nothing wrong with that. But other times, these memories sit in my gut, and resonate until discontentment with today begins to take deep root. Suddenly today begins to look less and less appealing, and then I want to escape. It affects my outlook on life and my outlook on reality. Dreams are called dreams for a reason, they are dreamy! Warm, delightful, and rose colored. Dreams are a lot like memories. So wether we are dreaming of a better today, or living in the past, either one can become a stumbling block. On one hand, dreams are great. They push me forward towards something I want to attain, a goal I want to reach, but they also cause me to not live in today if I take my dream too far.
Why all this focus on memories and dreams?  I will tell you why.
Something concrete is this: Jesus is with you right now. Something real: God created you to live each day, as each day comes. Something to stand on: Today is the day you are living in. There is something raw, real and brave about looking at today, square in the face and saying, "IN all this I am more than a conqueror through Christ Jesus." Romans 8:37
It's easy to slip into "yesterday" because it's well worn, well known, and comfortable. Unlike today, today can feel scary. It's the unknowns of today that can cause some people to simply pull the covers up over their faces and roll over into what feels safe.
Is this the type of life that God has planned for us? I would venture to say NO. (although a nice lazy day is welcome once and while.) But really, I believe that although each day and it's unknowns are frightening sometimes, the unknowns are also amazing opportunities to see God do something amazing.
I wish I could list all the times throughout every day, when God surprised me with how HE worked it out, all for His glory, and my good. When I let God have my thoughts, my ways, and my days, I am always astounded with what He does with them. HE turns something meek, gray and ugly into something amazing I could have never imagined. Can life be scary? Yes. Can the unknowns be dismal? Yes, in the flesh they can. Or, we can turn that glass around, and see it the way God does. He gives us roughly what, 12 to 15 hrs each day, to do, and be and live out His plans...then we rest hopefully...
What shall we do with these wakeful hours? Will we run towards the light with our eyes set fast on His truth? Will we pray without ceasing as we come upon a curve that we cannot see around? Will we pray for strength as we see the bumps in the road ahead? As we anticipate what will come up next? Will we hold to the faith when we see a shadow land ahead? Or will we turn around and run back to what seems sunny, and comfortable?
I would challenge you friend, don't turn around. Don't say, "why were the old days better." Press on. Keep the course. Fight the good fight. Keep your gaze fixed with His. And walk forward into the unknowns, no matter how your hands may tremble, know that He will not ask you to walk through something He does not plan help you finish.
A person needs to only spend a few moments in the Psalms to see that God asked David to go through some dark valleys, but David is quoted as saying, "with God I can scale any wall." And for David, those were literal walls! The walls or bumps we may face are not always literal, but they are just as trying. But the same God who helped David, is with us today. Isn't that amazing and comforting?
SO friend, don't despair if today feels hard. Don't turn on your heals and run back to yesterday, even though it feels better, it's not. Yesterday is over. Remember it with fondness, but then turn your face towards the sun and press on. Strength for today, and bright hope for tomorrow. That's what Jesus gives us.

I'll close with the Psalmist's words, "Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, your rod and your staff, they comfort me. " Psalm 23

David got it right. He knew that no matter the dark valley he walked through...he did not walk it alone.

Saving The Best For Last----(The Ultimate)

SO there it sits. The biggest present under the tree. The biggest gift brought to the birthday party. The long awaited thrill at the end. We usually save it...we want to savor it. Make it last. Prolong the enjoyment.
So we save it for last.
God however, didn't do that.
He gave us His best, first.
And everything else that follows, is really just a bonus.
What was the best, that we got first? His name is Jesus.
His gift was salvation that came in the form of Jesus.
But that was over 2000 years ago. I didn't even get to see that... (My flesh said)
But my Spirit counters with unexplainable joy that reinstates what scripture says to me.
"For God so loved the world that He gave His only son, that whoever believes in Him will not perish but have ETERNAL life. " John 3:16

Please don't miss this. What implications does this have for us and how should this affect our daily living. Does it affect our daily living?
I'll tell you what I have been processing in regards to this...
Over the past few days I have been focusing a lot what I have been praying for. How I pray, and what I ask for reflect how I really perceive the truth that HE has already given me His best.
If I believe that He has already given me His very best, I will pray with a thankful heart. Even when my circumstances would otherwise cause me to be less than thankful.  It's the reason that Paul and Silas could sing while being chained in prison. It's the reason that a widow who loves Jesus can smile through her tears of grief. Because she knows without a shadow of a doubt that #1 her future rests secure, and also that her Father has already given her His best.
What I have been telling myself is this:
Even if I never receive a single earthly blessing, I am still considered the most blessed. Why? Because I have been accepted into His eternal Kingdom. Not by anything that I have done, but by the grace of God. (Ephesians 2:8,9)
I am blessed because He gave me Jesus.
I am covered by His promise.
What's in a promise really? It's the assurance that something will take place. It's an oath that future follow through will come. I have His promise of eternal life. I have His promise of redemption for my sins. I have His promise that I am fully covered by His grace. That's quite a promise.
And still I allow my heart to become disheartened by outward circumstances, things that I wish were different, and desperately searching for more promise from Him. MORE PROMISE? How could I? I've been given the best gift first. The biggest, shiniest, purest and most lovely gift has already been given to me. I have it in my possession!!! Or Rather, I am possessed by it!
God has been teaching me throughout the years in varying degrees of understanding in regards to this truth that surrounds His promise. His ultimate promise. There is a reason people use the phrase, "That was the ultimate!!" implying, it does not get any better.
Jesus is the ultimate. The gift and promise of eternal life is the ultimate gift. The rest, anything that may follow, is just icing on a tiny cake. It still tastes good, but it pales in comparison to the gift we just opened.
Does God still give us good things on this earth? Yes He does. Why? Because HE is a loving Father who likes to see His children enjoy good things HE gives them.

If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!  (Matthew 7:11)

But it's not the extras that make us content. It's not the hope for the stocking stuffers that bring the real and ultimate smile to our face. NO. It's the gift we received that exceeded our wildest dreams. 

In conclusion I would say this: my hope, does not lie in what God will give me for I know that God already gave me the ultimate gift. Jesus. And for every day from here until the day He calls me home I get the opportunity to experience, enjoy and get to know my gift better. It is the gift that is better understood over time, because the gift will change us and make us more and more like the giver. We often receive this gift without really understanding the great cost of the gift. But as we grow to know the gift and the giver more and more, we are drawn to live a life in thankfulness to Him. For we see what it cost, and we see how precious it is. 

SO here is this gift. 

And what can I say but thank you? I live my life in thanks, offering all I am, for it's all I have. Knowing, what HE gave, is the best I will EVER receive.   

Things That Change

If a person sat down and made a list of all the things that change in life, the list would be quite extensive. Really because people change. You've heard it a thousand times I'm sure, when a person says, "O we used to be close, but we've both changed so much..." People change, so relationships change.
Not to "diss" change however, because change can be quite good. Changing to healthier lifestyles...changing to better jobs, changing our outlook to be one of joy rather than glass half empty. There are so many changes throughout each day...
As I look back on my life, the changes or metamorphoses my life has gone through I really can only thank The Lord for. "It does not depend on mans desire or effort but on God's mercy." Romans 9:16
 I thank Him for two reasons. I thank Him because He is not OK with letting me sit in my ruts of sin and yuck that come out in my daily living. He wants to mold me, change me and make me to look  more like Him. SO for this change I am thankful. The other reason I am thankful is that HE NEVER CHANGES. It says so in God's word.

"Jesus Christ is the same Yesterday, today and forever." Hebrews 13:8

I will tell you why it is so important to me that Jesus never changes. My world around me changes second by second. It swirls, it clashes and it feels confusing sometimes. Can you see how comforting it is too look to One who NEVER changes. Who is as constant as the North Star? Who never is affected my moods, and seasons? One who is always the same, no matter what I do or say? He always forgives me when I seek His forgiveness. He always gives me grace to make it through each day. He always rescues me. He always fills me with Joy and encouragement when I ask. He never fails.
I have nothing or anyone else like Him in my life.
He is a firm foundation.
An anchor.

I love the visual of the anchor. So strong, so true. And it holds my rocking ship study in the storm. It's always present on deck, even when the waves are calm. He is my anchor who never changes.

Even the best of friends, or most dutiful of spouses can fail or change depending on their moods. But Jesus Christ never changes. He doesn't get crabby with me. He never get's annoyed. He never say's that "He's had it with me." I just marvel at the fact that this Savior is my Savior and I have His gift of long enduring with me all the days of my life.
Friends, do you know this unchanging One that I speak of? Is His name on your lips? For truly, my life would be in shambles if His name were not on my lips moment to moment.
I praise Him, I thank Him. I cry out to Him, I worship Him, and He is constant. Never moving. Always there.
You can change states, homes, clothes, jobs, cars and lives really...but Jesus will not change. He will however, change you. And hopefully we will come to look more and more like the constant One. SO if your world is swirling. If your everything seems to be upside-down and your life a short step away from "I don't even know anymore..." Then look to the unchanging One. He will be your beacon of hope in the dark night. Your lighthouse beckoning you though the storm. He will be the anchor for your stormy sea. He will just simply BE, when all else fails to be.

Get Me OUT Of Here

The other day I found myself (hypothetically) sitting on what felt like a cold dirt floor of rejection and disappointment, wondering what God was planning on doing with my life. And wishing that whatever it was that He had up His sleeve for me would hurry up and get into motion. I wanted to get on with it, whatever it was.
"stay here"   I felt Him sing over me.
Stay HERE? I thought?
We've all been there, wishing for something "better." Wanting something to be over.
God's timing is GOD'S timing. And no being on the face of the planet can rush that, whether through trial or through joy. Yes, I could get up and walk out of the life God beautifully painted for me, and leave the shelter of His protection and go out on my own, but that is not my desire either, and I know it.
I'm sure we have all heard every saying in the book in regards to waiting for God's timing, so I will spare you those. Let's just focus on where we are, and that it's OK to not know why you are where you are and just trust God.
Patient endurance comes to mind. Long suffering. Trusting when your not in the valley of vision. When you are in this place, it requires that you look, NO, stare...at ONE thing, one person rather, and that is Jesus.
If you take your eyes off of Him, the trial becomes all you can see.
Yesterday as I sat in church The Lord grabbed a hold of my heart, and encouraged me to look at the things I feared most...and I felt as though He asked me to contemplate, "what is the worst that could happen?" Well, what is the worst?
Most people would say "death". But quite honestly, is that the worst? Because death just leads me to my life with Jesus in eternity. "watching someone you love suffer... or suffering yourself.." Yes, but Jesus is long suffering, and suffering only draws you closer to the one you love. Ok what then? What do you fear? Not receiving what you wanted in life? I countered with, God takes care of my desire as long as I stay close to Him, my peace remains...
SO what then? What can the enemy do? If you kill me I get what I ultimately want, to be with Jesus, if you make me see suffering, I will only plunge to deeper depths of love and trust with Jesus. This is not just for me though friends, any believer has this promise and in this place, fear loses it's power over you!

And so with peace and confidence in the One who set me free, I can pray..
"Our Father in Heaven, Hallowed be thy name, your Kingdom come, Your WILL be done."
Matthew 6:9,10

This thought process takes an attitude that says, "I will remain." I will be here until God moves me forward. It's an attitude that surrenders the idea of being in control or driving the ship. It's an attitude that moment by moment commits it's way to Him.
So day by day, this is what I do.
It's not that I am not thankful for today, for I am. I think every person out there has to fight the urge to place their joy or hope in "the next thing." Where Jesus does call us to be hopeful in expectation of His return, and I am, but earthly desire steps in and begs me to try to find my hope in the next best thing. That is not where Jesus wants my hope to come from. My hope is, in you Lord.
SO yes Lord, HERE is where I will stay. Until you move me. Here is where I will be. Amen.