Outside of Me

It is difficult to shift ones thinking so much so that you are literally outside of yourself, meaning, no more you in you, all that is left is what God gives you to be sustained on.

And although that makes me sound like I am barely hanging on by a thread, I am not, I'm hanging onto God, and there is absolute peace in that. I knew this to be true today when I encountered a situation that even two weeks ago would have pushed me over the edge...but it did not today. Why is this? Because Christ is sustaining me. He is bigger than anything that could topple a human emotion. Human emotions are so fickle, they sway with the wind, one day up, the next down. But when Christ is steering the ship and being the very sustenance of life, peace replaces human emotion. Praise the Lord for that. I found myself thanking Him so deeply here this afternoon for that and it sunk it how much different my response was today from days past, I not only saw God in that moment with my own eyes, I believe a little more deeply. My trust grew and my peace increased.

Getting outside of myself has been a lifelong journey and in my 26 years, I never imagined all that I would want to divorce of myself. I really am sure that apart from Christ, there is no good in me, and that is in fact right where God wants me to be I think.

" NOT MY WILL, BUT YOURS BE DONE." LUKE 22:24

That verse basically covers it all in one fell swoop and I like that phrase, it's easy to remember and I is a basic laying down of self. The laying down that God requires a follower to do if we are to truly run after the path of Christ, go where HE goes and learn what He teaches.

Pride and self sufficiency just cannot be present when we claim to have given Christ full control, and most of my life I spent teetering on the fence, of "your will God, NO! wait! my will..." and I stayed there for many many years. But the wind kept swaying me and finally, I fell into the arms of the Father fully on the other side. There are times where I do try and climb back up on that fence and lean towards the "my will" side of the fence, but chaos breaks out and I soon recognize my folly once more and land back into the Father arms once more.

He his so patient with me, and yet, as I felt the sting of his pruning here these past couple of months, I recognize that although He is patient, He is jealous (not in a sinful way) but He is jealous for my heart and arranges circumstances so I feel my need for Him, because He wants more for me than what I think I need.

I am only an "I" when I am in the center of c-h-r-I-s-t.

Because there I exist, in the center of His name, the center of His will. His plan.

Today, as my heart began to respond in regards to the "old me" He again was my Gardner, taking ahold of my heart and face in his gentle hands saying, "My plan for that person, Is not my plan for you. My plan for you looks different...trust me, trust my plan."

SO, I responded towards Christ as He desired me to. I placed my trust in His hands, and do you know what friends? My faith grew. Because in that moment, when I was in great need, He knelt down and took the time to reassure me again.

It's like when your child is begging for your attention, and we comply, we kneel down, look into their eyes, and take the time in that moment to reassure them, and calm their fears.

So, here is where I am whole. I am whole and full when I am on the outside of me, and on the inside of Christ. In the center of His name I am a whole person.

So here I rest...Longing for one thing, more of Him. Thanks be to God.

FOR GOD IS GREATER THAN OUR HEARTS, AND HE KNOWS EVERYTHING. -1 John 3:20b

Thankful

So very thankful am I.

I have a lot of things to be thankful for today my friends, and in order to pay tribute to my Father, and express my love for Him, may I used you my friends as my sounding board?

This Gardner that I spoke of yesterday has made me so very thankful, I recognized His hand all along the way, where it was leading, guiding, pruning and gently pushing me out of my comfort zone to where I need to be. His hands are so faithful. They give you exactly what you need so that you can have the maximum amount of joy in your life, and that joy melts away any and all fear.

Today the Lord showered me with love as He reminded me that with each gentle teaching lesson, He provides a way out from under it, and in other words, He gives you what you need when you need it most. And what I needed, was not what I wanted...

"Your commands make me wiser than my enemies, they are always with me." Psalm 119:98

and.."I will never forget your precepts, for by them you have preserved my life." vs. 94

And that last verse really sums it up for me today my friends, He preserved my life, maybe not in the same sense as David spoke of as he was hotly persuade by His enemies, but friends, I was being hotly perused by a vicious enemy of my day and he was coming at me from every angle. Let me expose this enemy so you too may see his points of entrance and how he creeps in ever so deceitfully. Usually, his entrance begins with a sense of dissatisfaction, which grows to all out want and leads ultimately to discontentedness with all that you current situation holds for you. What God holds for you. So at the core you are then discontent with God's plan at the moment for you and now the enemy has gained some ground. Be on your guard! Look out for the thief in the night! He comes with many different masks and takes many different forms. And if we are to truly recognize this prince of this world for who he is and all his lies all we need to look for us discontent in our hearts, and be assured, the enemy is not far off.

So examine your hearts today friends, is there a seed of discontent anywhere to be found? Where is it? Why is it there? Ask the Lord to dispose of it for you and protect you from it. Name it! Claim it! and then throw it away...

this freedom is yours, and the freedom you want, need and desire is your very survival, which leads to an ultimate dependence to the vine, the sap and the Gardner I spoke of yesterday. You are never alive and independent of the vine.

" I run in the path of you commands, for you have set my heart free!" Psalm 119:32

Thank you Father, your words are freedom and your path is contentment. May this be the path I put one foot in front of the other for the rest of my days on this earth...Then I know I am right where I need to be. What a God we serve my friends. Does anyone want to go for a walk with me? There is room on this path for all my friends.

Staying Connected

SO, you have heard this verse a million times, but listen to this:

"I Am the vine, you are the branches..." John 15:1

but have you heard this little bit? "My Father is the Gardner.." vs 1b

No? Me neither.

The Gardner. What a name to paint a word picture. Do you know what I see in my mind's eye when I hear that the Father is the Gardner? I see a kind, wrinkled old face of a man who cares deeply for what He has planted. A person who tends, waters, weeds and gently, ever so gently cares for his plants. His vines, his branches.

In this verse, Jesus tell us that He is the vine, we are the branches and as I learned today, the Holy Spirit, is the sap that runs through all the stems, and trunk of this vine to provide nourishment, which gives life to the verse, "apart from me you can nothing..." John 15:5b

I feel a host of emotions right now in the midst of what I am learning about myself, and about the vine and how that relates to my current life situations. When I at the core, am His branch and I am to be connected at all times, in order to maintain life, and in the end bear fruit.

I have sort of forgotten all about bearing fruit, why? Because I have allowed myself to become distracted by my desires, and human thoughts. (interestingly enough i blogged on that yesterday prior to learning what I learned today, perhaps the Gardner is teaching His little wayward vine something important here)

The idea of fruit slips my mind so often I have not considered it for quite some time. And we all know that the fruits of the spirit are this, "Love, joy peace patience, goodness, kindness and self control." Uh-oh. I can tell you right now, those things have been rather absent in my daily existence as of late, and I'm to blame. I'm to blame for a couple of reasons, one of them being that I choose to disconnect from the vine, when I go my own way and act on anything that is not in the realm of the fruits of the spirit. The great Gardner's desire is for me to remain connected to the vine, be nourished off of the sap from the Holy Spirit, and allow He, the Gardner to prune me and tend to my "weeds" so that I can be bearing the most fruit possible to bring the most possible glory to the Father in heaven. Because when this is all said and done, God's work in me, is to bring glory to God. So, I'm dissecting this.

God is my source. My connection to all things pure, good and lovely, anything joyful, anything patient, anything kind and anything worth being alive for.

Is there anything in my life that has been that source for me, other than God? Yes... I will be honest with you here friends, being a Mom has been that for me. And even though I know God gave me that role, and these children to care for, they are not be my everything. He is my everything, He is my vine. They ( my children) cannot be my source of all joy and contentment in my life, and as I love them dearly, they are merely gifts from the Father, and not the source. This realization has been a long time in coming, and don't even think I would have truly recognized it for what it was unless I learned what I am learning right now and had the pruning of the Gardner that I have lately. Pruning you see, can be painful. And the Gardner loves us so much, he cannot bear to watch us live a growth less, fruitless life. He wants us to be the strongest, greenest, most vibrant branch of Christ we can possibly be. Our source HAS GOT to be Him.

As this pruning pricks us to the core, we are left feeling shaken, forsake, and a little angry and these responses are all wrong...these are the times where the Gardner is beckoning us to run close to Him. He is calling us to stop listening to the lies in our head and the distractions all around us, to focus on what really matters most in life, and that is Christ. And how to grow fruit to bring glory to God. When I feel tears of anger at times towards the Lord and I say, "why God!!!! Why is this going on in my life!" He grabs my face in His hands, and whispers to me saying, "because I want to be first in your life...I want to be most important to you. Your children are lovely and wonderful and I love the fact that you love them, but you have to love me first."

As hard as it was to hear that from my saviors lips, I nodded in agreement and as I turned my eyes towards Jesus's, I saw the deep longing in His eyes for me to return to Him, return to my first love, to lay aside all the distractions that have built up over the years, and just rest in Him.

A vine does not have to do anything to bear fruit accept to stay connected to the vine. To suck the life-giving sap from the source and grow. To let the sap feed you and nourish you and all of sudden, by no strength of our own, we begin to grow and bear much fruit.

That's what I want friends. Much fruit. Fruit in this life means to have patience in affliction, joy when it doesn't make sense, peace that passes all understand, kindness beyond belief, and not an ounce of pride. That sounds good.

Well, now I know. Here I stand, at the beginning of another beginning. Thankful. Terrified. Honest. And expectant. I am expectant of His plans. His growth. His Source of all I need is here. And friends, it's here for you too. If any or all of what I have said here has hit home for you, don't hesitate to call the Gardner's name. He will answer. If you feel disconnected, ask Him to reconnect you..and glean from His life-giving sap and you will be amazed as new growth begins. It starts small but ends big and of course, it is all for God's glory.

" I will make you a great nation, I will make your name great and you will be a blessing."

-Gen. 12:2

Getting Distracted

Distractions Distractions Distractions

We all have them in our midst and yet it's difficult to ignore them. I have many distractions throughout each day as I go about my daily tasks, I feel like I'm constantly saying, "Oh! I wish that I could finish one thing!" Obviously, I'm attempting to do things while my children are not napping, and my task because to daunting as they needed my attention. And then their are other distractions we face...distractions that pull our hearts, and thoughts away from Christ and His desires for us. I've been just captivated by the fact that God has got this plan for me, but I become distracted from the joy of future hope and allow myself to be distracted by human emotions, human ambitions, and lies of the enemy. Similar to the way my desire to surf the net or "take a mintue to myself" distracts me from my job at hand, raising my children. (go figure)

As I talked about my last blog on how we are to put on the full armor of God, well, this will help us in our defeating our distractions, but I'm recognizing that we also need to be on our guard. Being on our guard is like having cat-like reflexes. It's recognizing the presence of evil the very second it enters our minds. And then refuting it with Christ. This my friends is what I'm doing, or at least attempting to do, with scripture and prayers...

Understanding that God is holding my whole horizon in His view is quite encouraging, but I get distracted so easily, and peace I had only moments ago regarding His plans for me, now escapes me, and my distraction has now become my priority. Do you see the transition and how it happens in your own life? It goes a little something like this.. You are at your job, or caring for your children, content. Thankful. Peaceful. Then like a firefly on a summer night a distracting thought flits into your mind. It hovers, you maybe swat at it, scrunch your face up at it, because lets face it, it's annoying, and yet captivating. The light is of that distraction is captivating. It takes your eyes off of whats at hand long enough for you to get distracted, and because you fell for the enemies little firefly, he now knows this is a weakness for you. The firefly could be another man, if your married, a baby, if your barren or want more...a new shirt, if your feeling discontent with what you have on...a new car, if yours just does not seem new enough anymore. And then like that, the enemy is in your thoughts, messing with your peace and distracting you from God's ultimate plan. He desires to make you content with all you have and fill you with what He's going to provide you with. And I assure you, it looks nothing like your distraction.

I want to expose the enemy and all his dirty little tricks that he has thrown at me personally in hopes the save all of you from falling for the same temptations.. The enemies desire is to have you in his snare, and once your there, it proves almost too much for a soul to bear. Don't let yourself get trapped by his distractions.

Instead here is an approach you may take, and it's what I'm attempting to do as I mentioned above, whenever a little firefly of distraction flits across my horizon view, I may glance, but I instantly look away, and contradict that firefly with a coinciding scripture.

such as, "no temptation has seized you accept what is common to man, He will provide a way out for you.." (obviously paraphrased) or

"Therefore submit to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you. Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. (James 4.7-8a)"

Take to heart that Jesus experienced distractions as well and He gave us all kinds of ways to fight it by the way He never sinned, and continually resisted distraction. He was focused, and although we do not have the ability to never sin, we can follow His ultimate example..

Seeing then that we have a great High Priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession. For we do not have a High Priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but was in all points tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need. (Heb 4.14-16) In other words, "he's been there too.." which I find so comforting. If he's been there, He knows how to help me out right now.

The key is to recognize and be aware of the distractions, and praying for discernment and wisdom to see, will help us. This is why we have the Holy Spirit residing in us. He is there to offer us this guidance as we call for help in these moments of great distraction.

Pinpointing your distractions will help your resist the devil and eventually friends, the enemy will flee. he will not remain on soil that constantly sprouts faith and resistance to the evil, it will be far to uncomfortable for him. Resist the devil and he will flee. Remember those words my friends, they are not mine, but Gods. (James 4: 7-8)

So today, as you go about your business and as night falls and the distractions buzz around your tired head, don't swat them with human power, don't gaze on them with desire in a moment of weakness, sqwash them with the truth of Christ, and they will be gone.

So then, as we practice this more and more, not only do we seep ourselves in the word of God, but we become stronger, more peaceful and more trusting. There is nothing better to be alone with yourself and feel peace. When was the last time you were all by yourself and yet still feeling peaceful? I'm not there yet, but I'm gaining the tools to help me get there...who's coming with me?

Making the Shift

What is it friends that consumes your thoughts more than anything else? After that thing is named, can you remember a time BEFORE you thought about that thing most? What did you think about before this new all consuming thought entered your mind. Was there peace before or was it just yet another all consuming thought. Why is this thought there, and is a good thing or things to think on, or are they capturing your heart more than what is most important, Christ.

I too have the confession of thoughts have been misled. Thoughts that go in places and directions that are not the most important place. The most important place I can expel my energy of thoughts are obviously not what where I currently am, and I need to ask the Lord to help me make the shift.

The shift begins quite small, but as I have practiced in the past with other "thought strongholds" repeating the truth leads to a believing of the truth, which eventually dissolves the unhealthy thought pattern almost completely.

But it's not easy and if it was, the stronghold was not what we thought it was and that is a blessing. My strongholds are incredibly strong though. (Much to my grief) which it actually means I have been more "in bed" with my thoughts that I even realized...

However, I find myself being more and more encouraged with each small victory, each battle won to God's glory is a victory to the kingdom of heaven and Christ's name is held up within me when I say NO to the temptations of thought and YES to plans of the Lord.

And that my friends, is key in overcoming any stronghold that the enemy dangles in front of us. The devil's schemes are huge, but he does not care WHAT we are distracted by just as long as we are distracted by something. Sad isn't it? But it's how the prince of this world works. Anything that takes our thought away from things that bring glory to Christ, anything that can become an idol within our hearts and minds, this my friends, is a stronghold. To diminish fear, worry and anxiety in our lives, we must bring to light the strongholds we battle with. So, how do we do battle? Well, the Lord has got some really great armor we can use, Ephes 6, (putting on the whole armor of God) Your armor looks a little something like this: a belt of truth buckled around your waist, the breastplate of righteousness in place, and your feet are fitted with readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. So right here friends we have, truth, righteousness, and peace. The polar opposites of any stronghold the devil might throw at you. The enemies strongholds are easy to recognize because here are a few things the devil asks you to put on when you are taking ahold of this stronghold. (or it's taking ahold of you rather) Confusion, that's a big one. Fear, there's another deal maker, anxiety, (that's always present when your experiencing the first two) and last of all the total absence of peace. There can be no peace when we choose to live in confusion, fear and anxiety. Is any of this sounding familiar to any of you? I know it does to me, but listen dear friends, God is hope, and peace and our armor. And on that day of temptation, when the enemy hurls his best at us, we can stand firm with our heavenly armor on, knowing we can face any battle because not only is God on our side, he goes before us, and blazes His truth in the face of evil and I know you can only imagine how the enemy trembles as he realizes that even on his best day, His power doesn't even compare to Christ's. I love this thought friends, and there is so much comfort in the fact that the enemy, even on his best day is still only, "the prince of the world" where in stark contrast Christ is the "King of all..."

Do you feel the weight of those words friends? King of all. It's beauty to my ears, and peace to my soul. Do you know what this means for you? Well, it means a host of wonderful things, it means first of all, that in the process of laying down our strongholds, the King of all wins. He protect us with mighty hands and places a hedge of protection to ward off the arrows of the enemy that long to pierce our very souls. And when a soul is pierced, out goes peace. So this protection is key.

I hope I have encouraged you my friends..knowing that this world is full of temptation, idols and things that wage war over our affections for Christ. We need to offer up those strongholds to the Lord, knowing that when we do this, our enemy is defeated. Each act of offering it up, (which may be quite a process on a day to day basis depending on how deep you are in love with your stronghold) is an act of love to our Savior. And as we learn in John 14, He deeply rewards us for our obedience to Him with peace.

Friends, who is this king of glory who pursues us with His love? He is the only stronghold that will ever truly satisfy us. And really the song is true, that we can't "get no satisfaction." at least from earthly sources. So don't look for your satisfaction, and glory from things of this earth, look to the king of glory...He is pursuing you with His love. He can break any stronghold...and save anyone who asks. So come with me won't you? Grab your armor and I think we have some battles that need fighting. We are warriors for Christ and He is calling your heart to beat for Him alone. Fight for it friends, it's worth it. It's the satisfaction you've been look for. And HE wants to be King of your heart.

Auntie Erin and Baby Joshua

While looking at old pictures I came accross this sweet sweet photo of the two of them today, and I thought that all of you would like it also...

Look at that beautiful girl, and that beautiful baby...

Am I blessed or what?! I mean really!

The Money Shot

Occassionally I get lucky and catch the "money shot" picture...and tonight Joshua gave me just such a shot. Thought I'd share..Enjoy.

The Holy Spirit

It's odd for me really that my entire Christian walk I've not really given much thought to the person of the Holy Spirit. I'm learning about Him and His identity in my Bible study right now and it's utterly shocking that although I know I have Him in me...I consider Him not.

I pray to Jesus, and I talk to God and I forget completely about the third personality of the triune God. I feel very grieved over that. The Holy Spirit is an identity, separate and yet completely a part of the three God personalities. His own, yet the same. And all my life although I've read about Him, and sang songs such as "Holy Spirit rain down.." I really missed the identity and attributes of my Holy Spirit. I almost felt a little weirded out by the Holy Spirit when I did think on Him, and it was the tongues of fire on the disciples heads that I compared it's identity to. But listen to this my friends, I'm learning the most amazing things about this Holy Spirit and I have had Him dwelling in me all this time and yet missed out on the beauty of His role in my life. He has many qualities that I enjoyed daily, but did not give real credit to Him for them...Things that like comfort, guidance and feelings of direction...I gave my conscience this credit, which truly is the Holy Spirit...

The Holy Spirit gives me my conscience and He places those thoughts and feelings within me when I'm either walking in the right direction or the wrong...

Jesus sent His Holy Spirit to dwell in the souls of those who believed in Him, and with the belief we receive His gift. Isn't it amazing the think that Jesus's gift to us, for obeying Him, learning from Him, loving Him and choosing to follow His teaching is the Holy Spirit, another exact form of Jesus, living inside of us?

If you have grown up with any knowledge of the faith at all, those are words we have heard all our lives but my friends, do you really consider what that means on a daily basis?

Inside of us, is God...teaching us, instructing us, comforting us, giving us peace...and we can call on Him to walk us through whatever we are going through on a moment by moment basis?

When Jesus was walking the earth literally, He was there, but was not "with" the disciples and other followers in the way that the Holy Spirit is with us now...the Holy Spirit is inseparable from us, and that is why, even when we go our own way, we cannot stay there for long. And then when we return, we feel the overwhelming peace, joy and comfort of the Holy Spirit as He blesses us for our obedience.

You see, when we love the Lord, listen to the guidance the Holy Spirit and walk in Jesus's example, we are blessed, it's not a works based faith though, don't get confused by my words, you see we as believers do these things because we love our Savior, and out of that we recognize our obedience is key.

When we obey the guide, things in our life work out to the best of God's plan for us, and in return we are living in the most peace imaginable...the peace of God's plan.

His plans are a mystery to us, which is why we have the Holy Spirit who dwells in us to help us take each seemingly unseen step. And walking the steps of obedience feels better than walking blind in our own decided path. Who can for see what lies ahead except the creator and who can guide us more safely than the ultimate councilor and leader...

The Holy Spirit is our gift and if you friends are anything like me, we barely even unwrap the top layer of that gift because we are so preoccupied and bogged down by the lies of this world.

So with our knowledge of the truth and our understanding of our gift of freedom in Christ, and the leading hands of the Holy Spirit, we now should walk in peace. Knowing that we are fully cared for, provided for and most of all, loved.

We come blemished, and cleans us...He holds us, teaches us, and when we obey as a loving response the Holy Spirit takes His place in our hearts and steers us, all we have to do is ask, and the rest will follow.

If these words are new to you today, as they felt to me yesterday when I heard them, don't be discouraged, we are on a journey of growth...and if we had it all figured out from day one, then the purposes of life would diminish. God desires us to follow in love and obedience, which causes us to learn more and more as we follow Him more faithfully each day. Growth in imminent when we are learning under the careful instruction of the Savior...

Be encouraged friends, HE is dwelling in you...ask Him for truth and guidance, and little by little your next step will become more clear.

He is your window...your candle...your compass. And Christ, is your true North. (Home).

Before and After

Today, I heard in context of spiritual walk, there is "always a before and an after.."

My life's experience was no exception, because before God took over my heart and I began to listen to the Holy Spirit's prom tings, I lived my life for me. My ways, my thoughts, my desires and my life. Now, after the Lord has become my all, my everything and all I can do breath, think, and dwell in, my life is no longer about me. It's is about Christ in me. And that is good ending to a not so good beginning.

But the stuff in middle is important to, the "stuff" that got me from point a to point b. The promptings, the calls to my hardened heart...the whispers, the gestures from other believers, those things were all quite significant in my surrender of self.

Now that I exist in my Christ centered world, most everything makes sense, but does the world see what I claim that I posses? In other words, and I acting in ways that show who I think I am now, after? I hope and pray so. In the Bible when Jesus speaks on Hope, in those times, Hope was literally translated as an assured thing. So when Jesus claims His hope was in the Lord? He was absolutely assured with out a doubt that Lord would come through for Him. And that hope caused those around Him to stop and stare. Never had such hope been seen or heard of in such a way. Before Jesus's take on hope people mainly walked around, making good things happen for themselves, trusting in themselves. The proof of hope in a persons life is their ability to be obedient. Their desire to be obedient proclaims to the world a couple of things, one being that they trust God and another being that because they love the Lord they follow His lead and in return receive peace and joy that exudes from them.

Obedience is seen in the way they live their lives for Christ, walking in faith towards whatever seemingly impossible obstacle, and asking that mountain to move if Jesus indeed asks them to do so. Do you have some mountains you'd like moved as well?

The gift that the Lord offers us, the reward for our obedience is peace. Taking this to heart I will tell you, this very thing happened to me when I surrendered my plan. I had an idea in my head on how things of my life were to take place. And I tried to manipulate a lot of circumstances to help this plan of mine come into fruition. It did not. My plan failed. Miserably. I was broken. I asked the Lord for help!!! And was if I heard Him say, " You need to be willing to play by my game-plan if you want my help daughter..." oh, rules, how I dislike rules.

But these are not rules that a oppressive ruler has given just because He likes being in charge. Far from it. He is a loving king, a faithful guide and He gave me His Holy Spirit as a gift to council me, guide me and direct me in the course of life so that when I face situation just like the one I was in, I had help.

More than the help, I needed rest and peace. I told the Lord I was literally freaking out and I need Him to take over. He did. I told I would listen. I told Him I was done with "my way". I told Him that I tried to move the mountain on my own and He said, "OK. rely on my strength. Be obedient." And you know what? Peace. Peace flooded in and calmed me.

Now, I don't really know when God's timing for these mountains to move will be, but I'm not really all that concerned with it anymore because I know God's got this one in the bag and I'm peaceful with that. This never was my battle, but I did make it mine, and I lost. Fear overwhelmed me, and when I saw my great enemy, I fell to the ground shaking in fear. As the enemy stood over me, making me sick by his presence and fatigued from the striving to win on my own, I found myself collapsing in fear and anguish daily. Just making it to bedtime was a nightmare, and even when I finally rested my head on my pillow, there was no peace there either, now i was alone, in a dark room with the fears again. Sleep was almost impossible.

I paint this darkened picture for you so that you may see what it's like when one tries to run ones life on their own. Calling our own shots may feel empowering at first, but in the end, it leave us alone, dark and cold.

But of course, there is always a before and an after, and friends, this after that I'm experiencing right now is so full of peace! God is directing this ship now. Now more dragging my feet, no ifs no ands or buts about it. This girl, is God's. This way, is the Lords, this council I seek, is the Holy Spirit's. And There is no fear or condemnation here. I feel light in my step and joy in my heart and peace when I close my eyes at night. I know we all desire that. And we all can have that.

Be encouraged dear friends, this life was not meant for us to run. It was mean for us to live in the center of His will. His plans are best because He created us for the plan. His plans. Not ours. His peace, not our ability to make life perfect so we feel a cheap temporary imitation of peace.

No imitation will compare. The real deal blows it out the of the park.

SO really, take that step. Trust Him with that "thing" whatever is is, and recognize with obedience we receive the gift of peace. Don't you want to experience your after? Now is your chance, to God be the glory.

I'll Play Careful...

Yes. That is what Mr. Joshua said to me as he comes from the kitchen carrying a fistful of KNIVES and forks. KNIVES. Do I need to say it again? KNIVES. So, anyways, before I totally freaked out, of course, I had to take a couple pictures. :)

Enjoy. It's fine really, I had him in a controlled environment and lets face it, that situation, was blogable. HA!

Health

Health is not something you generally think about until you no longer have it. After experiencing a few health setbacks of my own, I have recognized the importance of health in our lives. Spiritually and physically.

Spiritual health is also something that I believe most of us don't really think on to often, unless your someone like me, someone who once VERY spiritually UN healthy. The health I strive and feel now, is a level health I did not even know existed. It's as if you thought having a migraine headache was normal, and then someone let you in the fact the you could get rid of the pain you called "normal" and so you took this pill and WOW. A new normal. And it feels great! That is sort of what happened to me when I surrendered my everything to Christ, not just what I felt needed to be surrendered, but what HE thought should be. So by and by, after I gave it all back the the Lord, what was I left with but health.

I was no longer bogged down by the cholesterol in my heart cavity. The cholesterol of sin builds up so much so pretty soon, your poor little spiritual heart doesn't even receive any of the blood it needs, and in bad cases, those hearts die. Along with the spiritual lives of many people. But if you don't start out being taught how to be healthy, and feed your soul spiritually healthy meals, you soon flounder with your new healthy lifestyle...and there are some who even though they know the healthy choices they should make, they still choose junk. And it's the junk of self that usually does us in.

We want and want and want and fill and fill and fill with things that are not good for us. They do not encourage our walk with Christ and they do not feed our starving souls.

So now, I have this metaphor to help me think. I want overall health with all I do, say and think..and when I consider my relationships with others, I want them healthy. No beefs with friends, family or random people in target. :)

Nothing unhealthy in my thoughts...(taking every thought captive and making it obedient to Christ)

Nothing unhealthy in my language...(That my words may seasoned with salt, so that I will no how to answer anyone..)

Nothing unhealthy in my heart, (greed, selfishness, unrest, absence of peace, no joy, discontent) all things to pray against...

That I would attend regular apts. with my Great Physician who teaches me ways each day to be healthier still and live a life more full for Him.

(wouldn't that be funny to see your Dr. every day?) Well, meeting with Jesus daily is not nearly as expensive...and also quite fulfilling. :)

Nothing unhealthy that my eyes rest upon...and this is a tough one for all of us friends, and it's not said to guilt myself, all I have decided to do, is put what I watch through His filter...

(everything lovely, everything pure...think on these things)

And if it doesn't pass that test, do not linger. Difficult, but healthy.

And nothing unhealthy in my body. (not that do not eat sweets) but I consider, am I feeding my temple bad food? I do believe the Lord sat down with a juicy lamb chop once a while. :) But probably not daily...So, healthy in, and healthy out.

And I also ask my Great Physician for help to not obsess about any one of those healthy or unhealthy areas. Which in turn, helps me to indeed, "take every one of my thought captive making it obedient to my Lord and Savior..."

Now this healthy regiment, it is not my own human quest for bettering oneself. I cannot, nor will I every be able to better myself on my own. All of my healthy desires are fueled by the Lord, from His word...and I only stay on my healthy soul diet because He gives me the strength to daily. When I wake up, and unhealthy human thoughts begin to pour in, I counter them with His truth. I heard it said, "Quit listening to yourself and start Talking to yourself..." because what our minds have to tells us wrong, but what we can tell ourselves about Christ and His truth is right, and healthy.

So please, consider this, a life lived in peace with Christ, means that really, it is WELL with your soul. And isn't that something deep down we all wish we could say at the end of this life? That oh my friends, It has been WELL with my soul? My soul has been healthy this walk? I do. I want that. It sounds amazing, and peaceful.

Won't you ask God today to make it "WELL with your soul?"

Join me and if you don't want to sing it, just hum, or read, but let His peace wash over you today.

When peace, like a river,

attendeth my way,

When sorrows like sea billows roll;

Whatever my lot,

Thou has taught me to say,

It is well,

it is well,

with my soul.

Refrain: It is well, with my soul,It is well, it is well, with my soul.

A Day of Love

Happy Valentines Day friends!!

I found myself getting annoyed this year as I tried so hard to find a card that fit my thoughts and feelings of love towards my husband and family. I ended up with very simple messages in all the cards I picked out. Why? Because the message of Love is simple.

"Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends." -John 15:13

Now, I know that I have not lately literally laid down my life for friends or family, but in my words, actions and thoughts I can do this.

This is in fact what Christ quite literally did for all of us at the cross, and we are to mimic His actions and lifestyles in any way we can, and love my friends, is not exception.

Love, although at it's core is simple i can make it seem tough at times, it means getting outside yourself in certain situations, reaching out to places you are not comfortable with. (because they force you to do things for others that are not natural)

For example, it's not natural to ask someone if you could pay for their coffee for them in the drive-thru at Starbucks. Nor is it natural to wash someone feet for them, but Jesus did this for us...and we have the ability and opportunity to bless others daily with our love. (Not just on Valentines Day) But the reason these acts seem difficult is because I relying upon my own human strength to do these acts, so they become rituals, and tiersome.

And it truly is our blessing and gift to be able to do this, Christ tells us also that not one cup of water given in His name will be overlooked..(Matt. 25:44-45)

Although we are not to do these acts with the thought of the blessing we are going to receive in return (although I am guilty of that! :) Sorry Lord..) it is encouraging to know that when we give love, we not only receive human love in return, we receive kingdom blessings.

How well are we loving one another? It has to come from our hearts, and with each kind and loving act or word we do and say towards others, another layer of selfishness gets peeled back from my thick skin of this world.

I hate that I am so of this world at times, and the opportunities to love others pass me by as I selfishly consider my own desires instead.

Making someone feel loved is a way to make someone feel as though they are not invisible to the world, they are important to someone, and it encourages them body and soul. Love is a very overused to word though I think. What does true love mean?

To me, there is only one real answer to this question and it comes strait from His words to us...

1 John 3:16 This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers.

Sacrifice, which in turn breaths life into dead and weary souls, refreshing them, causing them to perk up, open their eyes and hopefully see Jesus in you. This my friends, is my definition of love.

I am not confessing to be perfect, quite the opposite, I'm confessing my deep regret for ways I have not loved, and giving up to the Lord, my desires to love more like He does. Whatever that means, whatever that looks like, I'm there...learning and leaning on His guidance.

Truthful and sacrificial love is the kind of love that Christ portrays...doesn't that sound like the kind of love you'd like to receive? I know it does to me, and it's why I am there, every day, kneeling at the foot of the cross..

Thanking Him for His love, asking Him to teach me His love and praying for all those I love.

So if you here today, reading this, know one thing, His love is the only love you need. Just ask, look and knock...and wait for the floodgates of love to be opened for you.

Our God is So Big..

This is Joshua's song that He's been learning in Childrens class at BSF when he goes with me, and I have to say, if one ever forgets, you must look no farther then the strength, optimism, hope and joy that you see in your children..
Because what else do we need to know besides this, how big is our God.
Enjoy.
(Annie had to get in on the action, but is not fond of singing yet.)

Be at rest once more O my soul, for the Lord has been good to you.... Psalm 116:7

Getting There..

Have you ever felt like perhaps, you might not ever "get there"...you know, THERE. That place, the place where you will finally be "happy", "content" and peaceful.

I have often wondered that myself, and I really found myself labeling what my "there" was going to be, such as..." When I'm not sick and pregnant anymore," then I will be there, or, " When Joshua is out of the terrible 2's" or, when I'm done with the "diaper stage.."

Well, obviously friends, some of these things have come to pass, and you know what? When I reached my desired "there", I still didn't feel there. Frustrating isn't it?

I know we have most likely all had similar thoughts...We are truly always waiting for the next thing in life to make us feel complete. And let me tell you friends, this desire in and of itself is not a bad thing, but it's the "there" that we keep getting mixed up on.

We were designed for our eternal home, and since our eternal home for most of us is a little ways off, we are always striving to fill the void right now. This is where I go wrong my friends. God does not want me try and fill the void with things, He wants me to fill the void with expectation of Him. Understanding that He can fill me to His fullest until I can have the ultimate fill, Heaven. Or, as He calls in John chapter 14...HOME.

Do you want to feel like your home all the time? Well, you can. You know that home-like feeling that washes over you when you stepped foot back into your parents home after being away at college? I do. I remember it like yesterday. It wasn't necessarily heaven, but it was peace...

It was warm, inviting, smelled like a mixture of home-cooked food and Mom's yummy candles burning. In other words, it smelt like thanksgiving, every day. The warmth you felt was not only from the warm fire burning in the stove, but it came from the warmth of Jesus dwelling there and in the hearts of my parents. This was my earthly representation of 'coming home.'

Now, as wonderful as the home is that I just described above, heaven will be so much more, and that is why my friends, we long for what's next.

"who could mind the journey, when the road leads home..."

I heard that quote this morning and it really epitomised to me what I have been thinking about these past few days...the journey is not a bad thing...in fact, it's a gift.

Because without the journey, the arrival home would not be so amazing. So let me tell you friends, that new house that you want, that is not going to satisfy your deepest desires. Neither is that new car, job or the boy-friend, the girlfriend, or dog. If you feel as though your looking for something...you are, that's part of the journey, but you will have your desires met in full when you reach your eternal home, and then you will be within touching distance of Jesus. Wow.

And this is exactly why we all can have peace, right now. For those who put their faith and trust in Jesus, the journey although long at times, is not lacking in peace, joy and contentment, because we have a little piece of home with you at all times, and He's right there, in you.

Jesus tell us in John chapter 14, that He Is, "The Solution."

It's like you get to carry around your home-scented candle and little bag of Mom's home-maid oatmeal raisin cookies with you everywhere you go. A little reminder of Home.

I know my friends, it's hard not to buy into the lie that you can be perfectly content by having more things, people, children, clothes and cars...and I'll admit, those things sure can be wonderful, they pale in comparison to the home that awaits you in heaven. No more sorrow. No more pain. No more tears. No more lonely night. No more anything. All that will live in you then will be peace, and joy and absolute, Christ within you, contentment. Sounds nice doesn't it. I'm right there with you. But don't for one moment undermined God's plans for you here on earth...they are taking you step by step, closer to the Father, and others around you are watching you walk. Hopefully, you will have some friends join you along the way and they too may see their eternal Home. We only really have one choice in this life that really matters...the rest is in the Hands of the Lord, and this, is how I must stay, if I am to be who HE wants me to be. So, I'm heading home, anyone want to go with me? It might be a while till we get there, but I promise, it's going to be worth the wait.

Learn to let God be God; that is the first thing He declares to us. The lessons of life will fall into place when you learn that. God is in charge of life, so let Him be in charge; take these lessons from His hands.- Ray Stedman

I want to remember this night

Tonight, we all had a blast...

We were dancing while papa played the piano, and Annie and Joshua were running around the kitchen...

There was this moment where Annie turned and looked at me, her wisps of bangs hanging in her face, she tipped her head back, flashed me a smile, and like that, the moment was over.

But it was if I saw my life with her flash before my eyes, and in an instant, I saw her in her wedding gown, and going off to college, and all those other things mothers think about. But for now, she's mine... and i'd be dilighted to share her small moments tonight with all of you friends.

Every day, I see God, and these moments have His figerprints all over them.

Taking the Time

As I was driving my two "lil' bird-dogs" home from the Y this morning I suddenly had the thought about taking appropriate time for all things of life, and what does this look like. Somehow I must generate deeper thoughts post-workouts. :)

Anyways, I began to think about the time we take to spend with our children and teach them things, which led to the thought of taking "our" time with the Heavenly Father for Him to teach us things. So I began to ponder and I will take you through my musings.

When taking time for the Father we can either hear or read but in both the Father speaks, He speaks in the silence when we sit and pray for wisdom, and He loudly speaks through His words written by people who knew Jesus first hand and walked with Him on a daily basis. (which really just blows my mind, and then we get the privilege of sitting and reading their eye-witness account of what Jesus did, said and thought) Amazing to me.

I lately feel as though each time I open the word His words are so clear to me, maybe not in a "go and do this right" sort of way, but in a way that I can grasp ahold of a concept and throughout the day find ways that it applies to my daily life. And I often find myself shaking my head in amazement at the Lord and His ability to take the time and reach down into my life, day and issues and speak solutions to my soul.

Which lead me to the thought of, how often to we really take the time to HEAR our Father?

I feel like in the past few months I've really been seeking His words like mad because I've needed them like the air I breath. But throughout my life this has not always been the case (unfortunately so) but now that I am I recognize the beauty in simply sitting, seeking and waiting for His thoughts on you.

He friend, has lots and lots of thoughts about you and for you, you are precious and beautiful to Him, and He longs to speak with you and offer you words of daily instruction, encouragement and strength. He asked you to follow Him, and as you gingerly did so, He reminded you every step of the way that He was there to "prosper you and not harm you, all the while giving you a hope and a future." (Jer 29:11)

But these words are really just empty words on a page if we do not take God at His word and believe that He is who He says He is, and will do what says He will do.

Take any problem you might be facing today. Write it down. God already knows that struggle but it helps to write it down, and then ask Him for eyes that can see and ears that can hear for His answers. The answers will come, and as i wrote of yesterday, they may not be "sure, let me fix this right now..." but you WILL get answers. Prayerfully seek Him and you will find the rest and blessings He promises you.

And if you think for one moment that your problem might just be bigger than your neighbors and you are sitting there thinking that this is just something you are going to have to carry throughout your life because it's what you do... your wrong. Even if there is a burden God has asked to carry that feels heavier than another's load, by asking the Lord for help, He will provide you the strength to carry it for as long as it's needed, and in the end, you will minister to those along side of you as a result of your strength in God rather than yourself.

Blessings come in all shapes and sizes and to comprehend His purposes for our "problems" is something we cannot do.

Taking it back to my first comparison, the time we spend with our children, they do not always know the purposes of our "play time lessons" but when they are 15,20 and 35 we pray that the basis and valuable life lessons we teach them will in make more sense, and make them better people. An example might be this, you force your child to carry their own school bag because it's a good thing to know how to do, and Mom's and Dad's are not always around to the carrying for them. As a result, they learn a little Independence, and might pass that on to their fellow classmates. Encouraging them to be stronger, better individuals.

Life lessons are hard, whether your 5 or 50, lessons are difficult to learn, swallow and accept.

But in the end we are better people because we took the time to learn, and were patient during our lessons, making sure to take in all the teacher had to say, and then, accepting the challenges as opportunities to grow and be more like the teacher.

Wherever you are at in your lesson, rest in the fact that Christ is a patient teacher, and helpful friend, and confident who will never leave you nor forsake you, and you are not only safe during those difficult times, you are absolutely held.

So take the time, learn and grow. Friends, it's the best time you'll ever take, and I am right there with you.

Mighty to save..

In many cases, I find myself asking for "saving," or, "get me out of this mess" type prayer requests...Often having specific requests on what my idea of the "saving" should and will look like. And as a result of this thinking I often end up getting incredibly discouraged almost instantly when my request for a solution is not answered the way "I" planned.

Sound familiar? The problem with this way of thinking is this, that God (although I feel like I should know this..) does not answer our prayers always in the way we think, desire or plan for ourselves. And then we either conclude that #1 God has not heard us, or #2 God does not care.

Both lines of thought are not only flawed, they lead us down paths of resentment, discouragement, anxiousness, worry and eventually, depression. None of those states of mind are places the Lord wants us to dwell...and they provide us no peace for our daily living. Also I might add, take our minds off of what the Lord desires for us, which is living in peace and contentment in Him. Here my friends is what I am learning, and all I say are things that I am currently learning, so by no means do I want to sound as if I have "got this one in the bag.."

When I listen to the lie of the enemy that if God loved, and cared for me, He would answer me not only NOW but in the fashion that I desire..but I have learned my flaw in the this line of thought, it turns God into my cosmic genie as opposed to my reverent savior who is might to save on His ultimate timeline, and plan-line.

Then if I do believe the above lies of the enemies I am led to believe further lies, that ring to the tune of, "Maybe God is punishing you.." Or the big one, " You have to figure out this one on your own," I wish I could stand here right now and say that I recognized the lies for what they were, but I did not, I swallowed them hook, line and sinker.. and although I still sought the Lord desperately for more answers, I still felt as though he was saying every possible answer except the one desired..."All your hopes and dreams will come true..."

But the hopes and dreams we have are based off of our limited view, and not the Lords all over, all knowing view..

He sees the roads ahead, where we friends, can barely see the road we are on. The desires of this world fill our heart, and fog our vision so greatly that we are confused by what way is up, and which is down...

We are human, God knows this friends, and I praise Him daily for his gifts of grace and mercy, but once I recognized my flawed perspective, and the pain I was living in was mainly self inflicted, I crumbled at the foot of the cross. With tears streaming down my face I confessed not only my selfishness, but my self-focused responses, that left me mainly wallowing in self pity, worry, anxiety and even a little anger.

When the devil got ahold of my thoughts, he ran wild..and I listened like crazy because what he was saying sounded like the truth, only, what only "sounds" like truth often reveals in time the lie that is at the center.

So when God might have been answering me, "Look beyond the desires of "right now"..." the enemy so kindly translated that to me as, "It will never happen for you because you don't deserve it."

Does that sound like something the Lord would say? No friends, it is not. "God is not the author of confusion but of peace.."(1 Cor. 14:33)

So whenever you have an answer that rings in your ears that even sounds a little fishy, run in through the "God filter" and see if it lines up with scripture.

Now being just slightly on the other side of this bridge, I can clearly see the lies I believed and the things the enemy was quietly whispering in my ears and desiring me to translate them as Christ's truth. Believing lies do in fact lead you to a life filled with sorrow and agony, for many reasons, but a few of them being that you are no longer are listening to God's promises for you, you are hearing things that not true about you, and they are being shouted into your mind, heart and ears constantly. You get to a point where all you can hear is the lie, and the truth is lost in all of the enemies confusion, and this is exactly where the enemy wants you, broken, depressed, full of fear, and quite honestly, wondering where God went in all of this.

Friends, recognize the lie for what it is, and then see the truth of the Lord, His answers and how He answers do not always mimic the answer we think they should, but this does not mean He has forgotten about us nor is punishing us. It simply could mean that God is teaching you something along the way, and if your prayer is answer instantly, the valuable lessons you need to learn BEFORE your done would not be learned.

I know I always say this friends, but I really know how true it is, I am a work in progress, and these days I have realized that even if the answers are different than what I expected, My God, Your God, is still MIGHTY TO SAVE. He saves us with His peace, and His contentment.

I feel so free friends to tell you, He has not only set me free from my sinful past, present and future, He has set me free from the want and lust for more. To me, this is a priceless gift and something no amount of "more" could ever replace. Contentment with what you have is greater that receiving more of what you have.

So here is my point friends, the next time you have a twinge of "this prayer has not been answered in the time or fashion is which I desire" stop, and check your sources. Where did you hear this phrase come from, and if it's just simply welling up inside of you with anxiousness surrounding it, I'm going to venture to say, it is not from the Lord.

His answers are never filled with confusion, anxiousness or worry. Take it from me friends, my prayers are still not "answered" but I have been saved and have experienced the saving peace of the Savior. SO know this, "Thou has made us for thyself, and our hearts are restless until they learn to rest in Thee." (St. Augustine)

And in that rest, we find our God MIGHTY TO SAVE.

DIRTY FEET

We all get them from time to time. I know, for those of you who dislike feet altogether, I'll say it for you, "Ewwww!"

But, we have them in more than one way...

In the Bible days, people used to gather at public bath houses to wash their whole selves, ( i just learned that) and then they would put their sandals on and walk home on the dusty road, which was a bummer being that they just took a bath! So when they go home, they were clean from the top of their head down to the top of the ankles. But there feet were gross. So they would have their servents do the "honors" of washing their feet when they got home.

Let me take this to the heart...

When we accepted Christ into our hearts, we got the bath, we took a full cleansing shower that washed away our sins, past, present and future. However, because we are sinful, along the walk home from our conversion we are continually getting our feet muddy and dusty. So when we get in our homes, we realize along the way, we've collected some "dust" and we need to cleansed of that dust.

Confessions of sin, washes our hearts and restores US to a place of intimacy with our Heavenly Father...

This week, I've been reading in my Bible study the story of Jesus, who just before His death, is eating dinner with his disciples, (The night before Judas betray es the Lord) and this is where we hear the story of Jesus washing His disciples feet. I've heard the story a hundred times and always read the passage thinking, "yeah that was cool..what a act of service," and then moved on.

But friends, let me take you deeper because one misses so much when the story is dismissed with just that.

The act of washing feet in that day, was no more enjoyable then what it is today, but it was a little more disgusting because of all the dirt people carried around on their feet, and by dirt, I'm sure they meant, "Camel poop, dog poop, and nastiness from the street." (dust almost sounds lovely after that doesn't it?)

But Jesus, knowing that His disciples were to proud of heart to take initiative and wash feet, He did so, and set the example for all of us thousands of years later. (not millions. :) )

Jesus was confident in who He was in the Father that it just did not matter what He did, or how it may have appeard to others. This is who we are to be in Him today as well.

You can only imagine the disciples utter disbelief and remorse as they were too busy having a conversation about who among them was the greatest, that they did not even think for a moment to do the task that Jesus was about to do. And how humbled they must have felt when He knelt down, and began to bath their dirty, poop covered feet. The Father, did this at the cross once and for all for us, He took off His kingly robes of glory, bent down and died to wash away our "poop" and then rose again, once again, returned to glory and here is the clincher, He did it all in humble, sincere, intense, love. Jesus knew that Judas had a hard heart, and was going to betray Him, and He still did the unthinkable in washing Judas's feet...(sound familiar?) Well it should because we all play the roll of Judas once and a while. (and yet the Father's love remains)

When we accept that washing, this is where we experience the ultimate love of the Savior, not only are we washed clean, forgiven, but we are also set free of all our past, present and future "dirt".

Isn't that amazing?

I know often times I have opportunities to wash the feet of my Savior and I do turn them down...You know that every time you do something for another in the love of Christ, you are doing it for your Jesus? He tells that whatever we do for the "least of these" we have done for him..

SO this dirt has two good sides, one, we are washed, we are clean, and we are made new when we allow Christ to come in and wash our dirty feet, and then we learn how to do it for others by watching Him. (and in the end, we really do it for Christ)

And at the root of all of this, is that after the confession of our sin, and recognition of our dirt, we experience His intense love, joy and contentment that we really do not have a care for how "dirty" the job might be, because we KNOW that our identity is in our Father's Love, We know who we are.

Friend, do you know who you are, or are you still confused? I had that question asked of me today at BSF and is has rung in my ears. I am secure in Christ, and I daily, and hourly and sometimes moment by moment, ask Him to wash my feet... and He's always delighted to.

Are we so delighted to wash others feet?

Are your feet dirty friend? If they are...sit yourself down in front of His Holy Throne, His Cross, and watch in amazement as He steps down, takes off His Royal Purple Robes...kneels down, and gently, very gently, washes your dirty feet. Won't you let Him? So that you too may know the Love of a Savior, and in return, experience His blessings of peace, joy, and over all contentment.

When you are clean in Christ, it doesn't matter where you are, there is peace.

Date night

Joshua is turning into such a "Man-child."

He went down to the end of our hallway, set up their scooters side by side to work as a table, and then their bean-bags as chairs. Oh my goodness.

Then he announced to Annie that she needed to come down there with him because they were going to have a "date."

When she resisted at first, Joshua exclaims, "NO ANNIE, THIS IS OUR DATE, COME DOWN HERE NOW!!

So Mommy provided some entertainment, (camera's flashing) Sunny, (our dog/vacuum cleaner) picked up the table scraps, and they had a nice dinner of m&m's.

(I know, super healthy, but it's what I had to work with in the moment.)

Enjoy the footage of the date. :) Oh, and forgive the nakedness, what boy does, so must girl ;)

The "Smell Kiss."

If you have a small child in your life that you are close to you will know what this is. It's the kiss that when you lean in to plant the kiss on whatever sweet part of the child's sweet face, arm, knee or any other kissable place, and you inhale deeply through your nose.
I discovered that I do this to my children INSTANTLY. So much so, that Annie, has begun to say, "no mamma" when I go to kiss her. :)

I just cannot describe the sweet smell of my children enough to do it real justice, but let me just try. Here is the best word picture I can give you..

It smells like a summer day, with sticky Popsicle juice, a warm wind, a hint of chocolate, maybe graham crackers, (I'm not sure which one for sure..) baby lotion, (the pink kind, Johnson and Johnson,) a little bit of baby powder, sun-kissed skin, and here's the big one, you know that smell when you are in the hospital and you've just delivered your sweet baby, and the nurse hands baby to you fresh from heaven, and lays him or her on your chest, and your eyes fill up with tears so much so that the tears drip down onto your new baby's nose? That's the smell you get in a "smell kiss."

There is nothing on earth more sweet than that.