Before and After

Today, I heard in context of spiritual walk, there is "always a before and an after.."

My life's experience was no exception, because before God took over my heart and I began to listen to the Holy Spirit's prom tings, I lived my life for me. My ways, my thoughts, my desires and my life. Now, after the Lord has become my all, my everything and all I can do breath, think, and dwell in, my life is no longer about me. It's is about Christ in me. And that is good ending to a not so good beginning.

But the stuff in middle is important to, the "stuff" that got me from point a to point b. The promptings, the calls to my hardened heart...the whispers, the gestures from other believers, those things were all quite significant in my surrender of self.

Now that I exist in my Christ centered world, most everything makes sense, but does the world see what I claim that I posses? In other words, and I acting in ways that show who I think I am now, after? I hope and pray so. In the Bible when Jesus speaks on Hope, in those times, Hope was literally translated as an assured thing. So when Jesus claims His hope was in the Lord? He was absolutely assured with out a doubt that Lord would come through for Him. And that hope caused those around Him to stop and stare. Never had such hope been seen or heard of in such a way. Before Jesus's take on hope people mainly walked around, making good things happen for themselves, trusting in themselves. The proof of hope in a persons life is their ability to be obedient. Their desire to be obedient proclaims to the world a couple of things, one being that they trust God and another being that because they love the Lord they follow His lead and in return receive peace and joy that exudes from them.

Obedience is seen in the way they live their lives for Christ, walking in faith towards whatever seemingly impossible obstacle, and asking that mountain to move if Jesus indeed asks them to do so. Do you have some mountains you'd like moved as well?

The gift that the Lord offers us, the reward for our obedience is peace. Taking this to heart I will tell you, this very thing happened to me when I surrendered my plan. I had an idea in my head on how things of my life were to take place. And I tried to manipulate a lot of circumstances to help this plan of mine come into fruition. It did not. My plan failed. Miserably. I was broken. I asked the Lord for help!!! And was if I heard Him say, " You need to be willing to play by my game-plan if you want my help daughter..." oh, rules, how I dislike rules.

But these are not rules that a oppressive ruler has given just because He likes being in charge. Far from it. He is a loving king, a faithful guide and He gave me His Holy Spirit as a gift to council me, guide me and direct me in the course of life so that when I face situation just like the one I was in, I had help.

More than the help, I needed rest and peace. I told the Lord I was literally freaking out and I need Him to take over. He did. I told I would listen. I told Him I was done with "my way". I told Him that I tried to move the mountain on my own and He said, "OK. rely on my strength. Be obedient." And you know what? Peace. Peace flooded in and calmed me.

Now, I don't really know when God's timing for these mountains to move will be, but I'm not really all that concerned with it anymore because I know God's got this one in the bag and I'm peaceful with that. This never was my battle, but I did make it mine, and I lost. Fear overwhelmed me, and when I saw my great enemy, I fell to the ground shaking in fear. As the enemy stood over me, making me sick by his presence and fatigued from the striving to win on my own, I found myself collapsing in fear and anguish daily. Just making it to bedtime was a nightmare, and even when I finally rested my head on my pillow, there was no peace there either, now i was alone, in a dark room with the fears again. Sleep was almost impossible.

I paint this darkened picture for you so that you may see what it's like when one tries to run ones life on their own. Calling our own shots may feel empowering at first, but in the end, it leave us alone, dark and cold.

But of course, there is always a before and an after, and friends, this after that I'm experiencing right now is so full of peace! God is directing this ship now. Now more dragging my feet, no ifs no ands or buts about it. This girl, is God's. This way, is the Lords, this council I seek, is the Holy Spirit's. And There is no fear or condemnation here. I feel light in my step and joy in my heart and peace when I close my eyes at night. I know we all desire that. And we all can have that.

Be encouraged dear friends, this life was not meant for us to run. It was mean for us to live in the center of His will. His plans are best because He created us for the plan. His plans. Not ours. His peace, not our ability to make life perfect so we feel a cheap temporary imitation of peace.

No imitation will compare. The real deal blows it out the of the park.

SO really, take that step. Trust Him with that "thing" whatever is is, and recognize with obedience we receive the gift of peace. Don't you want to experience your after? Now is your chance, to God be the glory.