My Greatest Lesson Yet...

Let me just start by saying this, I am learning so much about God and it's so amazing. A giant shift has taken place in my thoughts towards God and about God.

My doubt is diminishing and my trust is increasing, and my desire to be obedient to Him is ten-fold what it was even last week. I'm understanding this, through Him, it is finished.

What do I mean by that? Of course, this is what Jesus said as he prayed before He died, and then as He hung on the cross He said it again, but what does this mean for me?

It means many things, because in this world we have many troubles, and He does warn us of this

in John chapter 15,16...but I always took that as a curse...and I bottom line, I feared it.

Meaning, at the very core, I feared God's plan for me, because I was always afraid that He would put me through trials simply because He was God. What a flawed perspective I had. Somehow, I could understand Jesus, He was a man that the Bible depicted as loving and for the most part, kind. But God's person was not someone I felt I could easily relate to, and when I said that I feared Him, I did, but I was afraid of Him causing bad things to happen to me, not fearing Him because of His awesome, trust worthy, perfection and all knowing attributes.

And for this flawed perspective, i'm very grieved. I have told God these things, (although I know He has known them all along) And I have asked for forgiveness, but I am understanding I have so much to learn now. I have spent my entire christian walk being afraid of the very one I was serving, and not trusting in His ultimate plans for my life. So whenever I hit a speed bump in my walk I questioned God's very personality. I questioned his motives, and that is not a place I ever want to be again. God did not intend for me to pumped for painful circumstances, but He most certainly did not intend for me to blame Him when trials (that He already warned me about) came. This is how flawed I was in my thinking. Oh Father, I'm sorry.

The qualities of God are things I want to now discover on a new level and as I discover each one, I want to praise Him for them, delighting in the very glory that is His and rejoicing in the knowledge that I can be apart of His mighty plan. I am, for Him.

Who is this king of glory? Who pursues me with His love?

This was an aspect I never really got...His love. I mean, you always hear, "God loves you..." and of course, i've said this to quite a few people myself, but do you know friend that God's love is our everything? It's His best for us. And this is why He talks so much about it throughout His word. And this is why the greatest commandment is to love the Lord our God. Because if we do not love Him, we cannot trust Him or do any of the other things He calls us too, we cannot abide and truly know someone we do not love. We cannot walk with and live for someone we do not love, and we cannot understand His love the way He wants us to if we do not fully buy into His plan. It's all interconnected and all apart of His plan.

I have so much more to grasp before I feel like i'm really getting a handle on what it is that He is teaching me here, but one thing is for sure, I want to bring Him glory..

I want to learn all that He has for me learn so that I can be all that He wants me to be for Him and my friends, this is His plan for me. And that is all I need to know. I many want to know the end result of His plans and purposes, but I do not need to know, because i'm safe in the arms of God wherever I am. I do not always need to know my where-abouts, because God does. All I want to do, is be the person who is bring glory to the Father. It's not scary anymore. Before I would have started all of these thoughts with, "wow, this is really frightening...i mean, taking that blind leap is so scary..." But nothing is uncertain with Christ...Nothing.

Nothing can be feared unless we step outside of God's will...so, how do I stay in God's will you may ask? I'm asking that too, and only through seeking God's direction and word will I find the God in this...

Oswald Chambers put it like this..." In prayer, we get a hold of God, not the answers..."

So that reassures me also, I don't need the answers. What I need is God. And God has got my best plan in His hands...my best plan. It's that plan that I want. The only time fear and anxiety can enter into our lives is when we take a hold of the "plan" and tell God that we have a better one. It's as if we say, "Ok God, You hold onto that plan, just in case mine doesn't work out. Until then I'll check in from time to time, to tell you how things are going, and trust me God, I'll call out to you if I need some help...but don't really expect to hear from me until i'm in real trouble."

Scary!!! That is the only time we really should be fearful. When we are driving this car...blind.

I would never ask a blind man to drive me home, and so it is with myself...how could I possibly know whats best for me when I can see past my big toe. It's frightening that I took so much control into my own hands only a short while ago...

I know this is a whole lot of change for me, and I'm just asking the Lord to help me learn what is most important for me to learn right now. BUT...Friends...Perfect love drives out fear, and that is exactly what has happened here.

Are you in agreement with God's plan for you life? If not...why? And how, oh how, can we ever expect to do this thing called life all by ourselves? We cannot. But take heart my friends, He has overcome the world...and now I say, with every ounce of my being, TO GOD, BE THE GLORY.

And in Him, Through Him, By Him Because of Him our pain and fears are conquered because it's because of Him that it is finished...