The Power of Belief

"Though you have not seen him you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy" (1 Peter 1:8).

You've heard someone say, "I believe you! I believe you!" And then, they walk away still somewhat doubting. I know I've done it...well, I do the same thing to God. I read His word, I tell Him I not only get it, understand, comprehend, but yes Lord, I believe..but upon walking away all my actions scream that although I desire to believe, I don't actually believe.

Believing that what He says is true and will happen for us is difficult, because we are in the hear and not seen generation, and unfortunately, we tend to need more and more proof.

I suppose we are not different than even those who walked beside Jesus because in John 13 it talks about that even after His triumphal entry and death on the cross there were those who still did not believe.

There where men who saw his miracles first hand, and still cried out, "Lord, help me overcome my unbelief!" Mark...

How is this possible friends? That we hear, feel, and sometimes see the works the of hands and the promises are that given to us and yet we still doubt.
I spent some time with the Lord today and He spoke to my quite frankly about my unbelief, and then as I opened my email and read my email devotional and it was all on unbelief, I really picked up and took notice. I told the Lord in that moment, "I believe that you are speaking to me, and believe what you are saying." Unfortunately it does seem to take signs on the wall for me to actually get the message. It's like I'm saying to the comedian, I hear the joke, and the punch line, but will you write it out and spell it out for me so that I can read it? Not only would the joke loose the humor, it would just be silly to ask for such a thing.

No, you read the word, hear is letters to your heart and then go on in belief knowing that what He said is true and will be.

It's not easy friends because when we are struggling with doubt and possible unbelief it is a constant battle of human will, human thoughts and desires against Godly plans. I say, Lord I believe that I am safe in my house and you will protect me against robbers breaking in, but just to be certain, in case God changes His mind, I got out and build a 2o ft wall around my entire home property. I know it sounds crazy friends but it's we do! We say, "God, do you need a little help making my dreams come true?" and if so, "here, I'll do this while I'm waiting for YOUR solution, I'll just try mine." Friends, (and I do speak to myself when I say this,) that that way of thinking is not only flawed, it shows our unbelief. To truly believe means to hand God our dreams, desires, and hopes and say, "help me overcome my unbelief..." Meanwhile, "taking captive every thought and making it obedient to Christ." Do you know what this means for me my friends? It means that every time one of those doubting thoughts enters my mind, I repeat that verse to myself and offer up my unbelief again, and again, and again. Eventually my prayer is that those times of having to repeat this verse becomes less and less because I just do it without even meaning to. Basically, second nature.

SO what is it today that God is asking you to take Him at His word on? Believe me friends, (and really believe me) when I say, your "stuff" is better off in His hands. It's safer, and more peaceful when you give it all to Him, because as long as we are partially holding onto our "stuff" He can't really work with it.

Will you join me today in this "taking captive every thought and making it obedient to Christ.." I know you'll be happy you did.

"Father! Help us overcome our unbelief!" Amen.

Out goes worry and fear...

We are people who fret are we not, and I know this because I am one of the worlds best "fretters."

It has been an ongoing process for me to give over fear and worry to the Lord, and allow His perfect peace to replace them...

I had this picture of peace as I watch my little Annie girl the other day, she was just running around, hands in the air, blond wisps of hair flowing, and a great big smile on her face...as she spun around in circles and laughed because she was just so happy with her moment...I looked towards heaven and asked the Lord for that childlike peace.

She did not have a care, it was 10 am on a Monday morning and she didn't care what the weather was doing, she didn't care what she thought she should get done for that day, she didn't care, because with her simple life a that moment, peace and joy were all she new.

Wouldn't it be grand if that were our countenance 90% of the time as apposed the the other way around? We as adults default to worry, and I'm trying to not only figure out why, but change it.

Or better put, let God change me.

This morning, as dug into the word asking Him for a glimpse of what I saw my sweet little Annie girl experience, He told me this, and I thought all of you might glean something from this scripture as well:

"Give all worries and cares to God for He care about what happens to you." 1 Peter 5:7

"Don't worry about anything, instead pray about everything, tell God your needs and don't forget to thank Him when He answers..." Phil 4:6

"You will keep him in perfect peace, he whose mind is stayed on you. Because he trusts in you."

-Isaiah 26:3

Now, two things came out of this for me, one, simply that the Lord heard the cry of my heart last night and woke me up with these words this morning, so fresh and encouraging...

and two, that these are tangible things that I can do to place myself back in the hands of my Father where there is perfect peace and no fear.

The fear of the unknown is an unquenchable thirst, and to try and do away with it on your own will only leave you exhausted of money, time and energy. Many times when i fear things, i instantly run to the Dr. or I hit google like crazy, looking for some sense of hope in either of those two places. May I just say now, that I'm don't with google as of now!!! If only I spent as much time searching out His wonderful answers as opposed to the the world of people who put their worldly answers out on google. (sorry google, it's nothing personal.) :)

I just am floored by the way the Savior not only hears my cries in the night, but answers them, and then hold me till I calm. He, this God of the world, who created all, who controls the sea with his breath and the stars were placed by His gentle hands, also, bends downs each day and washes my feet. I really don't think that I can actually comprehend the intensity of that reality.

My shepherd, My Father, who is also yours friends, showers me daily in His great promises...and yet I still fear...How is this possible?

I'm not being hard on myself, I'm just so grateful. So may today be a day of peace and praise for all of your hearts my friends, peace because this is what He gives us when we hand Him our fears, and praise because those fears are no longer ours. They are His.

This simple prayer is one I pray in my heart today. Pray with me?

• 
  Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name. Thy Kingdom come, thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread. And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. For thine is the kingdom,
  the power and the glory,
  for ever and ever.
  Amen

Learning to Rest

You know that song, "Jesus I am resting, resting, in the joy of what thou art? I'm finding the reason of thy loving heart..."
They go on to say many many more things but I really want to focus on those lyrics in particular.
If any of you know me AT ALL you will know that I am not a person who "rests" well. I'm starting to see a pattern in myself and yes, there is a problem in my pattern. It's go, go, go, no rest.
I don't think that's how the song goes, "Jesus I am going, going..." Nope. It's not.
It suddenly occurred to me, without much warning that my body, soul and self are tired. They are all begging for physical and spiritual rest. The spiritual rest is what has led me to the understanding that need physical rest. After I started feeding my soul good healthy meals at BSF, and coupled it with rest for my soul as I am began to spend more and more time in the word, it occurred to me, my life, my physical life is in constant motion. Never stopping. However, I do enjoy activity and being busy. But, I realize that my activity can slow and I can still be "busy."
When I run, I go far and all out, when I do anything, I go all out. Which, excellence is a good quality, but even with that, you need to have resting. Resting excellent is also a good thing.
There were many things in my mind that were spiraling out of control, anxiety and fear are the just starters and many other worldly qualities were creeping into my countenance. Not having patience, getting angry quickly and just all around restlessness where also some of things that I was beginning to see in me. Lovely qualities are they not? Well you may have them, because God is doing a house cleaning in my life, and He's starting to move those things out. Praise the Lord.
As He gets out his forklift, bulldozer and shovel, to remove the yuck I've allowed in by my unrest, I also am feeling the lightening of the load, and friends, it feels amazing...
I actually was beginning to have heart palpitations because of my anxiety. That is no way to live, and the Lord new that sooner or later my trend of a busy life was going to get the better of me, and it did.
Now, I'm paying attention more to what the Lord is telling me. When he tells me to watch out! Be on my guard against all kinds of evils that creep in... I now know what do look for.
The enemy can disguise himself in seemingly good things, that in the end, eat us alive.
I am so freed thinking that my daily actions are now a direct response to what God is calling me to do...you see I used to say, "I have to stay busy like this or I'll go crazy..." or in my running at the gym...."I only know one way to run, and that's till I either die, or throw up." I know, sounds like fun right? ha!
Well, I have some serious praises on my heart this week as these things have now finally come to a head, and I'm recognizing my busyness for what it is, running away from resting.
So today, as this peace fills my soul, hear my heart when I say, this rest feels good, it's so amazing, and it also being offered to you friend! You may have His rest any time you desire it, it's a matter of laying down some old, and receiving some new. That seems to be the patten every area of my life is taking right now, and it's really what my life has been missing for all my life! :)
Until you realize what you've been missing out on, you don't really notice whats wrong with your life, true with Christ as well as other things, but in this case, it's a good thing, because what I don't have is readily available to me if only I lay down my fierce unrest.
So will you rest with me? Read each and every line of this song, and you will hear what my heart is saying today. Won't you sit a while and rest with the Savior right now? Sing with me...

Jesus I am resting, resting,
In the Joy of what Thou art;
I am finding out the greatness
Of Thy loving heart.
Thou hast bid me gaze upon Thee,
And Thy beauty fills my soul,
For by Thy transforming power
Thou hast made me whole.
####Chorus:
Jesus, I am resting, resting
In the joy of what Thou art;
I am finding out the greatness
Of Thy loving heart.

O how great Thy loving kindness.
Vaster, broader than the sea!
O how marvellous Thy goodness,
Lavished all on me!
Yes, I rest in Thee,
Beloved,Know Thy certainty of promise,
And have made it mine.

####Simply trusting Thee, Lord Jesus,
I behold Thee as Thou art,
And Thy love, so pure, so changeless,
Satisfies my heart;
Satisfies its deepest longings,
Meets supplies its every need,
Compasseth me round with blessings;
Thine is love indeed!

####Ever lift Thy face upon me,
As I work and wait for Thee;
Resting 'neath Thy smile,
Lord Jesus,Earth's dark shadows flee.
Brightness of my Father's glory,
Sunshine of my Father's face,
Keep me ever trusting, resting;
Fill me with Thy grace.####

Giving up what is easy?

IF ANYONE WOULD COME AFTER ME, HE MUST DENY HIMSELF AND TAKE UP HIS CROSS AND FOLLOW ME, FOR WHOEVER WANTS TO SAVE HIS LIFE WILL LOSE IT, AND WHOEVER LOSES HIS LIFE FOR ME AND FOR THE GOSPEL WILL SAVE IT. -Mark 8:34,35

I always used to look at this verse and say to myself, "well then it must be impossible to follow Christ whole-heatedly because who really can do this besides Paul or Peter? I mean really? Really?!!"

And I would walk away with my head down much like the rich young ruler who could not give up what was most important to him. Here is what I learning friends...

Giving up is a matter of the heart, and although He speaks quite literally to His disciples at this time of His life because this is what ACTUALLY happened to many of them, they were literally giving up their lives for the sake of the ministry. I can see how many like myself become discouraged when they read these verses because they really think, "i could never do that..."

But we can. And here is what I'm learning, as of late, (and by 'as of late' I mean TODAY.) :)

God may not ever call me to die for His name, but if I really believe what I say I believe about Him, His love, His protection, His promises to give me a hope a future, what is it to me to give up the things that I think are SO important on this earth? For me, it used to be my reputation...I wanted all to think that I was "cool." I realized long ago, that this was something that I was so obsessed about and it held no importance...(on the other side of this life) But, to many, kids, teens and young adults our reputations are huge. Who we are on earth feels like the most important thing. Here is the issue what that line of thinking...who we are on earth is a passing, fleeting moment, and then second we let that go, Christ magnifies us to a level our coolness never would have. He prepares a place for us at the head of every table, and the best seat in the house has our name on it. Now, having said this, that doesn't mean we walk around with signs on our for heads that say LOSER, quite contrary, many believers are quite looked up to and have a really great personality that draws people in, but quite literally, I used to think, Sold out Christian= Geek.

Well, you tell me, am I a geek? :) (Sisters, do not answer yes, I will run super fast to your houses and pull your hair)

Back to my original point, to loose our lives means to gain Christ and all the good promises He has in store for us. To loose our lives means quite simply to give up in our hearts what we think is more important than God. Whatever that thing is that has taken the place of worship in your heart over Christ, that must go. (not literally, but it cannot remain in the place of Lordship in your thoughts and minds)

Here is the great part though friends, the part where He tells us what we will receive for our laying down of our desires, we receive more than we could have ever imagined on our own.

For me it was this, I laid down my image, my reputation, and my desires, and here is what i already have received: Contentment, (which is priceless) Peace, Joy, a Husband, Two amazing children, Laughter like I've never had before, and HOPE in all circumstances, and the Love of a Savior that I actually feel in my soul.

Don't those gifts sound great? Well they are, but if I had chose to hold onto what I thought was so important in my youth I would have only received half empty versions of all of those things I listed. God began working in my heart when i was young, and today is beginning to chip away huge chunks of my old self so the new can be revealed. Now that I'm seeing that He is a trusted sculptor, one who makes good out of bad, I have the desire for Him to chip ALL the old exterior so the new inside can be seen fully. Again, going back to constant frame of mind that I am a total work in progress...but I am anxious to see what he chips away at next. Although painful at times, it always leaves me with something better than what I had before, going back to my statement before that when you give up something old, it always makes room for something new.

So, giving up what is easy to give up, well that's just that, Easy. But giving up what's painful to part with, that's where we start tapping into the Kingdom purposes for our lives and God's design for who we could and can become.

Do you trust Him? If you do, start handing Him boxes of stuff that have to go. Trust Him, He'll hand you back those boxes re-wrapped and full of blessings. You will be ever so happy you did.

Take a little step my friends, He'll meet you there, just like He met me.

More Like Fallin' in Love...

I have had this reoccurring thought in the past few days that would not go away until this morning...during worship at church the tears were flowing. I couldn't really completely explain my emotion, I mean, I have many things that could lead me to tears but here was my thought...
The Christian walk is hard. I'm just going to put it out there because it's true, there are many things that the believer faces that make the walk difficult. But every time I think about trying to do "it", meaning, "this life" without Him, I immediately turn my eyes back towards Jesus.
As I considered all the pressures that face me and my family in this day I begin wondering to myself.."would this be easier if I just did it on my own?" These are questions that I think all ask once and while, but before the words really entered my mind I already knew the answer, and of course, it's no. This life would not be "better" without my Lord.
SO this is when I started asking the Lord, WHY? Why do i feel these pressures raining down on me? These struggles? It was if He answered me plainly..
This life is not about being perfectly "happy" all the time, and by happy I mean, "Warm, fuzzy, perfectly wonderful at all times, Pollyanna type life." My life is about Him, and when it's about Him, He promises me something that I wouldn't have without Him...Peace, contentment, joy and a promise of life beyond this one.
So, I sighed with more tears springing to my eyes, it was as if He said, "isn't it enough Amber, that the Savior of the world loves you and cares for you, when you feel pain and pressure, I'm right there too..."
I nodded towards heaven, "And in my heart I responded, Lord, I know, I know you love me, but I really need to feel it right now. I'm human and I'm tired. I know Father you felt tired when you were here on earth, so can I ask for some manna from heaven?"
And friends, He did. He gave me this song. Close your eyes, listen because this is the type of the relationship with the Savior that i'm describing. Something more than just religion, something to follow, it was if He told me, this is what i'm offering you... Click HERE
You see for me, following Christ because it's the "right thing to do" was just hard, it had to mean something. And when Christ called me, by name, to take off my grave clothes as Lazarus, walk forward in the light and though once blinded, He made me see...I listened and now friends, I crave for more, and sit at His feet asking for my daily bread. Knowing without His heavenly food, I will starve in this world. This world does not long to feed you, it does not long to fill you, only He can, the world may say, "I love you.." but the world does not love you as Christ loves you and nothing can compare to this falling in love with the Savior. So today, may your walk be more like falling in love and less like "something to believe in."

Quietly Serving

I have always liked being an entertainer, to make a big, loud, exciting entrance is fun for me, which of course is why I LOVED being a bride. hahha. But in reality, the quiet moments are where we opportunities to offer the Lord great honor and praise...
I would like to think that standing up in front of multitudes is the epitome of if all, loudly proclaiming Christ and doing it in a place where there are the most people. Now not putting down big names like Billy Gram and others in his class, there is most definitely a place for that, but the average person, is not Billy Gram and we can be called to serve Him more quietly.
Ray Stedman gave this quote this morning that I just really identified with and here it is..
"God says, "You can serve me in the quiet of your home and by the gentle, sweet spirit that you display in the midst of pressures and problems. You have done more to advance the kingdom of God than those who get out and proclaim the word on public address systems everywhere." That is the way God sees life."
Now for me this is both encouraging and disheartening all at the same time, one because I can still actively serve Him at this stage in my life, but also difficult because in your home and by yourself and your children is where one tends to "screw up" the most and be the most human. I will tell you this one thing, and that is that it really does make me think about being more conscious and aware of my attitude when I am in my four walls, serving my family.
I want my attitude to be one of praise, sacrifice and worship, and although I recognize perfection is not something that I will attain in this life, give God my best is something I can definitely strive for each day.
The temptation is to really lay it all out there, tell the world, say "WORLD, this is me!" And in doing so thinking I am honoring the Lord better, but by just simply keeping in between the Lord, myself and few closest to me I am able to whisper my praises...using my testimony to the multitudes may not be my calling right now.
If I am asked, I share, but otherwise I make my personal struggles at home and in my heart a sacrifice to Him, that hopefully honors Him, as i endure them patiently and without complain. Easier said that done friends.
Case and point, yesterday. Not a good day in terms of honoring the Lord. I complained and whined all day to Him, and then when my husband came home, I complained and whined to him all night. ( I sound like such a peach don't I?) :)
Anyways, the Lord revealed to me this morning that my attitude that I had developed was less than desirable and that if I really wanted to offer Him the glory I say I do, than I had better shape up. (OK, so He didn't literally say, "shape up" but it was rather close to that.
But then after He gently confronted me, He then told me this,
" There is surly a future hope for you, and your hope will not be cut off." Prov. 23:18
This is what I love about the God I serve, He may not say, "I'm going to fix it all now for you," but He does say, "I have a future hope for you, and I know when that is..."
So to sum it up and pull this all together, when I live my testimony out at home, and honor Him regardless of what my flesh would like to do, He reminds me of His great promises that make it a litle easier to worship while i'm waiting. And in turn, my worshiping is a gift back to Him, because my worshipful waiting is giving Him the attitude of praise He desires...(hypatheicly speaking, mind you.) :)
I had the thought that it would actually be easier to come forth to all and say, "woe is me, I have this struggle in life.." but then I might begin to lean upon human support rather than God's support. And that is why it is good to have few close friends, or for me, my husband that I can say, "pray with me.."
So my ministry although incredibly small in my eyes, is the one I can whole-heatedly serve in until He calls me to something else. I am most days delighted with my ministry, although it is ever challenging me and alot of days, leaves me feeling half-dead. :) I again, take that as the challenge to have God fill me even more. After all, My God does not give me a ministry to serve in and then leave me empty of resources. No friends, He always provides...
So remember than when we feel small my friends, when your ministry goes seemingly unnoticed and your acts of kindness, unthanked for. They are seen, and the Savior feels the honor you bring him. If He has been glorified, your ministry has been a success. Take hearts fellow workers, the Kingdom purposes are not seen by the eyes of man, but God, and that is all we need to know.

Right Here, Right Now.

Do you wake up each morning with a song in your heart saying, "thank-you for today!!!" OK, so i don't either. but i want to. :)
And actually, i have been feeling more and more thankful each and every day, different experiences, different situations in my life have made me recognize the blessedness that we simply have in "today."
And by today i do mean, wherever you are at in your life, and walk. I was reading some promises of scripture yesterday and i found it in the most unusual place, but let me just share with you this great encouraging message, found in the story, of Lazarus. (yes, the one died and Jesus brought back to life)
The story is this, Lazarus's sisters Martha and Mary come to Jesus, when he still in a different town and say, "Lord, the one you love is sick.." John 11:3b
Jesus knows who they speak of, and decides to wait a few days before rushing there to heal him. Then He tells his disciples to come with him because Laz has fallen asleep and needs to be woken up, and so they go, (His disciples not really understanding what he meant by sleep) vs's. 7-15
So they get there and Martha comes rushing out to meet Jesus and basically tells Him that he's too late, but she believes in His power, and that He can do anything, and He then He gives Martha this promise.." Your brother will rise again.." and she says, "yeah, i know, at the resurrection.." (which means she believed that Jesus was who He said He was.." and had faith in His Ultimate promise. However Jesus meant, "No Martha, literally right now, i'm going to raise your brother.."
Here is where i found my promises...In the end, Christ proved this His timing is never too late. It's only perfectly fit to bring Him the most glory...
Had Jesus rushed to heal Laz before he died i do not think that it would have had the impact on those around him, and those whom the raise affected. Laz's sister's for one might have thought then that it came "so easy" for them, they asked and "HEY!" he was healed...
Which lead me to the thought that I can enjoy today, right now, right here, knowing that Jesus might not come running into town the second I tell him i think i have a problem...He might asks me to mourn a little, work a little and pray a little longer...why? Because when He answers, I see His power, his glory and that none of this would be without His healing touch.
I also heard four things yesterday from a different source, (ironic that it came on the same day as the first message is it not?!)
These four things were four points on staying thankful for today. Hmmm...Lord? Are you attempting to teach me something here i ask?
They are this:
*Give something away, creating space for new. Giving something away always makes a person feel good...
*Don't expect everything good to come into your life all at once.
*Change, "i need" to, "i want.." There are very few things we actually NEED
*Choose to be thankful for what you already have.

So the next time you think, "Lord, I came to you two whole days ago with this request and still feel, sense and hear nothing???" It's not that He has not heard you, but His ultimate plan comes about in such a way that will bring Him the most glory. May my attitude of waiting, be an attitude of worship, so that even more glory is brought to His name though the process. Learn from my mistakes...:)
Enjoy today for what it is, your gift. So be thankful and say, to God be the glory!

Marriage

Today is your wedding day. You are beautiful and the other, most dashing. You walk down the isle, tears streaming down your face, knowing this is it, this is the day your life begins, as a wife.
Oh how i remember those feelings, the flood of emotion. However, when the music fades and emotions are all dried up, what does one do? You made vows that rang the tune of "for better or for worse" but this problem the two of you are facing, now this does not seem to be "normal." There's no way "God" would want the two of you together if you are fighting this much. Have you whispered these words in your heart before. I know I have.
Let me let you in on what God can do to a marriage in this place. He Designed marriage is such a way that only this verse could describe...see here:
"For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh." So they are no longer two, but one (Mark 10:7-8).
One Flesh. A flesh cannot separate and be two can it? This is how closely knit we are to be to our spouse. There are days that my marriage represents this one-ness and days where I fail miserably. I recognize the moments where in my heart begins to focus more upon my own desires, my own needs and passions rather than trying to understand my husband. Understanding your husbands point of view is most crucial is becoming one. He may say "this," and mean "this" to him, but comes out sounding like "that" to you, and "that" is not what you like. I know you have been there as much as I, ( or maybe I'm worse than the rest of you, which is probably quite likely) but either way, you know what i speak of here. It's the moment where fire literally burns in your heart and heat rises into your face, your neck and chest. you can't speak, your can't breath because he just said, "this." And you are about to give him your side. STOP. Wives, just STOP. Take that breath your lungs need. And Remember, God has given you this man, and he is human yes, but this man loves you and would not do anything to harm you. Try and remember in the sharpness of your disagreement that if you go back him with your "that," the oneness gets broken down just a little bit more.
This used to be my life, it felt that not a day went by when my husband and I would not find ourselves in some type of disagreement. And at the root of it all was that God and I were not One as we should be. You see, Christ was my first husband..at least that's what the scriptures tell me here:
Psalm 45:10-11 Hearken, O daughter, and consider, and incline thine ear: Forget also thine own people, and thy father's house: So shall the King greatly desire thy beauty, for he is thy Lord, and worship thou him.

He desires my beauty, how about those words ladies? In the same way Christ represented here to men how they are to be to their wives, so He tells us how to honor our husbands...worship may feel like a strong word, and true worship is really reserved for Christ alone, but the concept is here. To show admiration, respect and love. That is really at the root of worship and don't those things sound like things that we should be giving to our husbands.
Marriage is a representation of Christ and the church, Christ the groom and the church the bride, they just work better together when in harmony. We go to church to worship and Christ leads, directs, loves, cherishes our every thought and word and protects our every step.
I know my husband is not perfect, nor is he Christ, but he comes pretty close to the description I just described above. And wives, we need to strive to honor our husband and as the church honors it's Christ.
Am i painting to you the picture clearly to you here?
Marriage is not about being individuals, it's about beind ONE. The lesser hold up the greater at times and the greater the lesser other days. And the more oneness that is in a marriage, the more it brings glory and praise to God because He so delights in His marriage model being exemplified.
It is as this, you design a model for the perfect bridge. You give the people building it the exact measurements and diagrams to make the bridge perfect, long lasting and stable. However your wayward builders believe that you've got some stuff wrong. So, they make a few minor "adjustments." After viewing the finished product you can tell things are not quite right. But what are you to do, the bridge is completed and to tear it down would take much longer than it took to build, so you decide to wait and let the builders learn their lesson the hard way. Weeks later you see a story about how this bridge oddly crashes into the water for no apparent reason. Only the builders really know what went wrong. They come to their manager, they confess their wrong and next time, when the built the bridge over, they did it the right way, with the perfect design.
Don't let your marriage go up in such a way that you are designing the blue prints. YOU do not know best. God already created his perfect design and all we have to do is search his word and find the map.
So build, search, and learn. This marriage is about becoming one in Christ, and one with Christ, and in my mind, there is not a place i would rather be. God Bless your construction project, where-ever you are at the process, it's never to late to stop, tear down and start building it God's way. *you might want to pack a jackhammer. :)

The Next Best Thing

You know it when you see it, the next best thing. The super-turbo, betcha wish you had it, 1000 watt super speed, metallic, voice activated, run without having to push a button. Yep. We want it and we HAVE TO HAVE IT. NOW.
So, for Christmas your loved one wraps up the super charged, double whammy, can't beat it new thing, gifts it to you, and you are exstatic. I mean, through the roof. Until the next morning, while talking, playing, or watching your new double whammy, super charge next best thing..you see the commercial for the triple whammy. Uh-oh.
Now what, the double whammy doesn't look so good, and the "want" returns that was fulfilled only moments ago.
I have been there too my friends, you are not alone. If it's available, or even if it's not, we want it. Here in lies the problem. We are not able to be satisfied. Because there is always going to be something better and our desire is to have it..
And even if we get it, we can't really enjoy it because the triple whammy is now out there. Bummer dude.
What am i getting at here? Christ says, "Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water I give him will never thirst, the water I gave him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life."
John 4:13
Now, i recognize that water is more of a need than a want, but the concept is the same to me. When I am constantly thirsting for more, never able to be quenched, than something is missing. I am not drinking from the right water source and I will always run up dry when I drink from the worlds well.
For most of us, we fall into the category of wanting the next best thing. On occasion i actually feel like I have tapped into the Lord's well and I FEEL SO QUENCHED. It's like receiving a glass of water after a long hard run. I'm good, and taken care of, not wanting for more. But then the lies of the enemy creep back in and say to my heart, "i know that drink was good, but wouldn't a sport drink be better than just plain old water?" And so the thirst for more and better returns. For me, it's recognizing the voice of the enemy in my ears, and turning my head and saying, "No thanks. I'm satisfied." And meaning it.
So, I am working this, and now the Lord has brought this temptation of mine to my attention i absolutely have to wrap my head and heart around His solutions and His desires for me.
He may, at some point want to give me the triple whammy, but I am learning how to not just be content with my double whammy, but also be so incredibly thankful for it.
There are people who have no whammies at all. :)
So lets examine our hearts today, what we have now, is a gift, and if the well we drink from is leaving us thirsty, maybe we need to consider trying to tap into a difference source.
His cold, refreshing glass of, "more than you can ever imagine.." is waiting for you. So drink up friends. Enjoy.

Why We NEED the Cross

The world we live in is chalk full of self-sufficiency and do-it-your-self-ers. :)
Trust me friends, I used to be one. Takes one to know one they say. But, I'm learning, God is not a God who ever asks you to do anything all by yourself. And taking our need for Him out of the equation not only makes God seem small, but almost unnecessary.
Today at my Bible study class, I learned all about Christ in regards to how He is our shepherd and what that really looks like. And, how many times, the shepherd would put His own life, in harms way to save his sheep. I'm imagining the scenario, Lion approaches flock of sheep, Shepherd begins to rush in to save the sheep, but one of the sheep yells out, "No way Man, I got this one, I'm going to take on this Lion, take him on, and eat HIM for lunch." As absurd as this little story sounds, that's what we do every day, to Christ. The difference between the earthly shepherds and the heavenly Shepherd is this, we absolutely need Him if this life is ever to be about anything other than right now. In other words, we need Him, and we need His cross, because we need His forgiveness. When Christ heals a little boy from a sickness, and his parents stand by, once the healing is done, and the boy is well, I have a hard time believing that they spit on Jesus and say, "thanks for fixing this one for us, but we got it from here on out..." Oh no friends, they look at the Savior, and realize, and acknowledge that without Christ, this life would not have been saved. Because they friends, recognized their need for the Savior. They recognized that they could not make it through without His healing touch. The recognize that life would not have continued, without Him. This is what accepting His forgiveness looks like, when we, have our earthly eyes opened, see our need, and accept that forgiveness. I find it odd that we actually have to ACCEPT forgiveness, shouldn't it be a given that if forgiveness is offered by someone, we just take it, because to be forgiven is a gift and a privilege. Not so with us as humans. We look at forgiveness negatively because, well, (we scoff) that in order to accept the Fathers forgiveness, we have to accept that WE (oh great people) are sinners. Ouch. I know. It's stings slightly. Actually, it stings alot, but the sting goes away once we acknowledge our desolate place, and reach out, and take the forgiveness that His cross offers us. "That while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us..."
You see friends, we do need Him. And if you think that you do not, let me challenge you on this thought, the next time you stare into the eyes of your son, grandson, or nephew, look into those baby blues as if it was a child who was born to die. And tell me friends, you don't need that, and it was all for nothing. And when I sin, and say in my heart, "father, I'm not sinning.." we are spitting on the cross, on the forgiveness offered and at the feet a small child born to die.
I'm using intense analogies because it has struck a chord with my heart. This great Father, This all knowing, brave, almighty shepherd LONGS to lead us to quiet pastures and still waters, He LONGS to restore your soul, my soul and your neighbors. I remember those days in my not so distant past when I did just this, telling My Father, "I am not sinning. I am FINE. I just like to be...and say...and act...because it's who I am. I'm not selfish, I'm just looking out for myself...I'm not harsh...I'm just brutally honest...I'm not crude or judgemental...I just know whats OK for me, and whats not."
Do you see how I sounded to those looking in. It was yucky. But when I stood there, looking at a cross, staring into the eyes of a child, know that I had a choice to make, I fell, hard and straight to my knees. Crying to my Shepherd, recognizing the spiritual Lions in my life, and the ways I had tried to "kill the lion myself."
I was angry at first when I saw what I saw in me, then I was hurt, and then, I grieved, because I saw who I was, and then you know what friends? He showed me who I could become. PRAISE HIS HOLY NAME! So today, when I learn, oh how I learn, because I saw. I saw.
And now, I see..I look up and I see the cross, and what IT means for me, for you and the rest of the world who accepts it.
So when YOU see the cross today, remember my words, and how great His love is for you, what is at stake, and what is being offered to you. Thank you for the cross, thank you for the cross, My Friend.

Where The Heart Is

At the root of all, is our heart. Our emotional heart holds all we feel, want to feel and want not to feel. I'm wrestling with the idea that our hearts can feel one thing, and our words can lead others and ourselves to believe something than the truth that's in our hearts.
It's a hard concept to wrap ones mind around because we can even deceive ourselves with what we say, knowing deep in our hearts though, resonates something different.
Obviously, this does not seem like an attribute a person chasing after the Lord would desire, and if that's what you are thinking, you are right. God calls this deception and lies. "There is deceit in the hearts of those who plot evil, but joy for those who promote peace." Prov. 12:20
Now, I realize that "plot evil" seems extreme, but my friends, we do it each and every day, we see a person whom we have an inward competition with for whatever area of interest, and we plot, to beat them, to be better and to make ourselves look better. It's terrible I know, but it's what we do, we are Cain and Able so to speak. Now being competitive in itself is not wrong, but it's the twinge of "frustration" or "i'm gonna kick that girls butt in this..." :) that a little seed of angry evil is planted.
Or a friend gets something you desperately want, and you say, "OH! I'm so happy for you!" Meanwhile, your hearts are say, "Why didn't I get that?" Yes friend, we are all guilty, be rejoice! A savior has been born, who is Christ the King, who comes to take away the sins of the world. BUT, first we have to recognize our lies for what they are, and bring into light all that is dark.
"I tell you this, that you must give an account on judgement day of every idle word you speak." Matt 12:36
(And I for myself think that He probably will want the things my heart said, as well as the things my lips said.)
Now this post is not meant to shame, because listen to this, "The Lord detests lying lips, BUT DELIGHTS! IN THE MAN WHO IS TRUTHFUL." Prov. 12:22
We are on a JOURNEY my friends, a journey of learning, growing and becoming more like our Savior. And healing, first takes a recognition of a wound. If you don't know it's there, your not going to want or wish for healing.
How come an injury never hurts till you see blood? But once you recognize that bright red stain, Oh My! How it hurts, and we rush quickly to soothe it, heal it or in some cases, just cover it up. My words to myself, and to you my friends is this, we should not seek to simply cover up the pain, or injury, we should seek to have our great Physician actually reset the bone, stop the bleeding, and patch up the cut so that REAL healing can take place. Do get the picture I'm painting here?
SO when we feel our hearts say this, "No! I don't like that, My way! NOW!" we need recognize those words for what they actually are, sin. But great are His mercies my friends. And how quickly the Dr. rushes in the heal. He loves to put balm on our chapped and burned hearts. As I feel the salve begin to sink in and work, and tingle of health returning, I am rejuvenated, knowing that I am one step closer to being a completed and whole person. SO lets examine these hearts of ours...Do we mean what we say and say what we mean? How freeing to know that honesty is not only on your lips but in your heart as well, because the two must eclipse. You cannot see the one under because the one over it, so perfectly lines up. This is my desire...A total eclipse of the heart. (and yes, I am sing the song, so don't feel bad if you want to as well.)

Moving Forward

Everything that has value is worth intentional, daily commitment and obedience. I know that it’s not easy, but just take the first step, then the next and the next, and before you know it you’ll be much further down the road. Understand it can take time. All good things do. But that’s okay, because the journey is worth it.

— Sheila Walsh

God is teaching me something. ( I know, big surprise right) I will never quit saying that I AM A WORK IN PROGRESS, SLOW progress. :) But thankfully, My God is patient with me, and so He will be with you and every other child out there.
We are His children, are we not? And it's His job to teach us, grow us and eventually let us spread our wings and fly and young adults in the faith.
However, we do not get here over-night. (thank the LORD!)
These past few months of my life have been this ever swinging pendulum of, "what are your plans for me?" type questions, and slowly, slowly He has given me answers. He keeps pointing me in the directions of His timing, His plans, His places, His, well, everything. Not leaving much room for ME in there. :) Which as I wrote about yesterday, is a good thing.
I'm seeking to leave my idea's, and thoughts on how things should be, and move forward in His plans for me. Whatever those are. I'm not sure yet because He seems to be revealing them to me VERY slowly. haha. I suppose He knows that if he gave me the whole darn pizza as opposed to just one small slice, I might just bite off more than i can chew. (My eyes have always been bigger than my stomach)
SO here I am, at the beginning of this journey, and it feels a little intimidating at times. I feel like I'm always saying, "LORD! I have so much to learn! LORD! Tell me again! LORD! Show me again that I can trust you! LORD, say the words again that I love to hear..." So he does, and He tells me, "I know the plans I have for you, plans to make you prosper, not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and future." Jer. 29:11
I sigh. I breath in again His peace, and say thank-you to my Father for once again, filling my lungs with air, and reminding me of His control. His steady hands, and His ultimate plan. And I relent, "Lord, your plans are better than my own. This, this thing, it's yours." And then my patient Father starts all over again with me. Holding me, reminding me, and pushing me to grow, spread my wings, and hopefully someday, fly forward.
(right now I just sort of flap my wings and loose feathers.)
Here is the nugget of gold I glean, In Him, the sun rises and sets. My sun, my moon come and go because of Him. And much as a young lover needing to be constantly reminded of Her new husbands faithfulness to her, I keep asking the Lord to renew me each morning, reminding me of His promises. I'm beginning to recognize the pattern of His faithfulness each morning, that when I awake and it's a new day with new fears and old ones, His faithfulness remains. That I don't always have to ask Him to show me, that in Faith I can believe that He IS THERE, regardless if he is still visible to me. He is there.
Wouldn't it be odd if each morning, I had to quick call my Husband and say.."AH! you weren't there when I woke up this morning!!! Are we still married?" My husband would laugh at me. (more than he already does)
So it is with my Father, He is pushing me to trust that He is there even if I can't see visible signs of wars being won, and walls being torn down, I know that He is out ahead of me. And I see His fingerprints all over my life, day, thoughts and heart.
So next you feel unsure, repeat His promises to you, He has plans for you friend, not to harm you and plans to give YOU a hope and a future. On this side of heaven, we need to have the faith that He is near, because on other side of our last breath, is a place where no longer fear, tremble or worry. All we can do His cling, learn and move forward in Faith, doing the work of our Father, until He call us home. Fly! Learn! Grow! Move! OH His great plans for you await.

The Great Divorce

I had this thought today as I was doing my Bible study, to have the sum of God be greater than all of my parts. So basically, God overshadows the "me" part of me, and all you see is the God stuff. That then lead to further thought of all the "yuck" that I would have to divorce so speak, in order to make this happen. Obviously, this begins with the Father peeling back the blinders a little more each day to reveal the "next" thing that has to be extracted from my life in order to make me more like my Father. It's frustrating to me, as I feel like I am always on this quest to be more like Him, and that there is still so much of ME left in me. I know this as each of the yucky thoughts pass through my mind each day that I have still have much more to offer back to Him. God tells me in His word that, "He who conceals his hatred has lying lips and whoever spreads slander is a fool..and when words are many sin is not absent, but he who holds his tongue is wise." - Proverbs 10: 18,19
So this is what I gleaned from this verse, If I have unspoken hatred, I'm a liar, but if I speak my hatred out in slander I'm a fool, and if I speak about these things alot, I'm a sinner, but if I hold my tongue in peace, I'm wise. Here is the catch, I think, "OK then, I'll be good, and just not say the evil that's on my mind, then I should be good right?" Wrong. This thinking is flawed my friends because I'm not only to not have the hatred come out of my mouth, I'm just simply to not have the hatred, period.
Tall order, but not impossible. What is impossible with man, is possible with God.
You see, we as believers know when hatred is born, it begins with a small twinge, barely recognizable, but obviously there. We look at a person who has something we want, and a seed, a very small seed is planted. And from there, it grows and takes form and spreads like cancer all over our hearts till pretty soon it's all we can think about, and eventually, all we can talk about. Of course it does not come out as, "I hate that person's stinking guts..." :) It usually comes out as, "Did you see what "so and so" was wearing, driving, eating, reading or living in?" Yes my friends, Jealousy is at the root of a whole lot of hatred. And these are things I'm seeking to greatly divorce.
So where do we go from here? By gaining a knowledge of Christ's truth and understanding His escape and rescue plan for our minds we then can not give over to the desires of our flesh. Our flesh is always wishing, wanting and hopeing for more, more than what we have, and wanting what other's have, it's our nature, and the enemy is right there, tending the seeds of hatred until we are ready to have them planted.
All the while remembering that " The Lord does not let the righteous go hungry.."
Prov 3:10a
And hungry can be translated a multitude of ways, "cold, weary, empty tired, lonely.."
Remember friends, this is our Maker, Provider, Creator, Father and Friend we are speaking of here, He desires us to live our lives with the most joy imaginable, and when hatred and jealousy are overtaking our hearts, there is room for very little joy.
So here is where I come my great divorce, I want to divorce ME. I want to be the lesser sum as Christ takes over all my parts. Word picture is this, consider ME as a small square, and that small square's shadow. Then consider Christ as a giant box. ( like the size of what your new kitchen might come in. :))
The shadow of this box eats up entirely the shadow of the small square, and so the small square's shadow is no more. So today, may this be the shadow you see, the one Christ has cast over me. You can still see my box, but what I project, is Christ and his giant box of a shadow.
I know my sinful nature will not be gone entirely until He ushers me into heaven, (and what a day that will my friends) but I do seek, I chase after the thought of the great divorce of self, selfish desires, motives, and all ugly human things I posses.) Prayerfully, I say "I trust you" when these things that I desire tend take a greater place of importance than what He desires to give me in His timing.
So, do you like my shadow? Is it big? Tell me if it's not, and I will seek to move back into the place I need to be, the Shadow of Christ.

My Boys

Aren't they something? I know! Right?!

Answers

At times, i am dumbfounded by all of the "unanswered" questions that people pose of God, who He is, and what role does He "really" play in our lives. And i say "unanswered" because of the places that we look for the answers are often the wrong places entirely, we are in the wrong chapter, of the wrong book. Fingers get pointed and feelings are crushed before words are even completely out of peoples mouths. Christ calls us to be "slow to speak, quick to listen and slow to become angry.."
And I wonder, do I really do this?
If someone is questioning God, and their faith, and their belief is unsure, what do i do? With the knowledge that God knows all, plans all for the good of those who seek Him..I have to think that He also knows that these conversations are going to take place. Here is where I struggle..when a person opposite you states something so contradictory to what you know to be true..what do you do? Do you speak in boldness Christ's words? At times, but God tells us not to "throw our pearls to swine.." because it falls on deaf ears. So i can only come to one conclusion, listen always, speak when you must and pray continually. It's such a temptation of mine to want to try and change, fix and make the whole world into passionate Christ following people. But I also know that this is not my job to take on all the lost peoples of the world. God is so gracious and speaks to my heart, when and where i need to speak and what i need to say. The frustrating thing, is that I want others to experience His great mercies, joys and peace that He offers to us freely. Instead many people (and i was there once also) decide that it's too much work, and that they just don't have the time. Not allowing my frustrations to show in this is key. I don't think that Jesus's disciples went off and said, "Man Jesus, I'm so mad at all those people, they threw rocks at me and tried to kill me cuz i talked about you to much." No, they gave their message, and if it was not received, Christ calls us to shake the dust off our feet and leave that city to go to place where peoples hearts are ready. Unless one is looking for intense controversy, one does not usually stomp into a place of opposing opinion and loudly tell all that "they are wrong." Mobs break out, and injury and death occur in these circumstances.
However, where i always struggle is this, that the ways of Christ are real, and these days we face ahead of us our treacherous, and doing it all by ourselves? I can't fathom. Christ has given us as believers the keys to the kingdom of heaven and are we to just sit out hands and patiently wait and watch as others perish with no hope of life after death in Christ?
This life is not all we have, I want to yell this at times. There is so much more and we are so preoccupied with the Paris Hilton type life that we cannot see beyond tomorrow.
I have been there. That exact place. It stunk like garbage and the more Christ reveled to me who He is to be to me, and all the ways my life is to be about Him, I recognized and finally smelled the stench. But back to my original thoughts, to woo others to Christ, one does not yell, tirade and push their way into other's hearts, it's done step by step...quietly and in love, coupled with His greatness and needs to be feared.
I actually started this blog earlier today, not really knowing why I needed to write it, sometimes i struggle with these thoughts but most of the time I'm at peace. It was confirmed to me just now that i needed to post it, and trust that my words are His.
SO when in doubt, rest in Him, His words, and His confirmation of His truths, in our lives, and through that may others questions, be answered. God bless your journey, wherever you are at in this process.

OBEDIENCE

Whether you are 1 or 51, obedience is hard. Why? usually because obedience requires us to do something we are not particularly keen on. I have not usually encountered many circumstances where obedience is just so easy.
I am learning obedience, and have been for quite some time. Obedience takes trust. Trust in whom you are being obedient to, to listen and obey because you trust that the on you are obeying knows best.
Let me tell you something my friends, I am learning, that God knows best. It has been a long time struggle with me, to give up control, and offer Him my complete obedience. To trust that regardless of the state my current conditions in life, even if I'm not pleased with them i have to trust that God knows best.
All we can do, is plant our gardens and wait for God to do the tending.
In obedience I act, and do all that God has given me the power to and from that point on, the outcomes are in the Fathers hands.
Are you wishing for healing? God calls us to gather, pray and offer up our requests before the Lord.
Are you depressed? He tells you he will turn your mourning into dancing.
"You have turned my mourning into joyful dancing. You have taken away my clothes of mourning and clothed me with joy." Psalm 30:11
Is life uncertain? Calm, because He is certain, and that is all we need to know.
He is the same yesterday, today and forever.
"Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever." -Hebrews 13:8
Are you afraid? He is the calmer of your storms and great protector, which is why we are called to put on the full armor of God.
"Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might. Put on the whole armor of God." -Ephes 6:10

Why list all these things about God and who He to us? Because once we see all that He is and what He does for us, we have more faith in trust to obey Him with undivided faith and complete and utter obedience, knowing that His way is the only way.
And once you believe that you really know that you know that you know that He IS. Than in the storms, trials and struggles we can say, "I trust you," and be able to say that over and over every time the thoughts of distrust enter into our minds.
And then, we can step out in faith and do our acts of obedience.
I think deep down my desires have always been to be under His authority, as people we want direction. We say we want complete control, but when we have it, or feel as though we do, it's scary, don't you think? Because now, who calls the shots? you do. What if you call the wrong shot? what happens when your in trouble, who do you cry "help me!" to. When your in control, your "it" for you. So if it's "you" that is in the trouble, then you are going to have a bit of hard time getting "you" out of trouble. Not so when God is control.
So today, I choose God. Today, I choose His path, His plans and His last word goes. My obedience is an act of worship to God, and a way to bring more glory to God, and I have heard it said that, "the greatest work of God is when the Savior gives spiritual sight resulting in belief and worship of Jesus."
And over the past year, my sight has become clearer and clearer and today I claim that sight. To God be the glory.

The Many Faces of a boy and a girl

I always seem to have my camera ready and handy to snap any unsuspecting child in hopes of the "money shot." :) Humerously so, I instead seem to capture every imaginable face thay they could make, enjoy the rainbow my friends.

Finding The Balance

Life requires balance, you need balance for walking without falling over :) (still working on that one) balance for health, balance for doing all you one must do in ones day, and balance for God.
I try to give myself a well balanced diet of God, health and family.
Family gets alot of what I've got, simply because that's the faze of my life, but with balance comes a desire for excellence because excellence helps you to find satisfaction in all you do. I may be only able to give my Lord an hour in the morning, my treadmill forty-five minutes and my hair about five, :) but in those minutes I can ask the Lord to help me excel, and give that thing that I'm doing all I've got. When I talk with the Lord I like to take my Bible and coffee into my bed and read for as long as my children will allow, for ages I tried to do it when they were in the same room with me and just does not work.
SO now, courtesy of Curious George TV show, every morning at 7am, I'm able to get my quiet time in. And Christ fuels me up for my day, then I'm off to the gym, and whatever time I'm given in that day for my running, I hit hard man. I run like it's my last and it's so amazing how God blesses those miles. I feel re-energized and ready to take on my day much in same way I feel about my spiritual exercise. The two flow well together, and i turn up my Christian work out music, and pump it.
Next to balance out my day, I head home with my children, and we do whatever their creative little minds can come up with. You see, I must make sure I balance my life in Christ so that I have what I need to give when I need to give it. If my children want me to run and play with them I can, because I have gained that strength to play hard by my own personal physical training. If they want me to read the Bible to them or tell them about what I'm reading, I can, because I'm able to process what I've learned due to the peace and quiet in which I've learned it in. In order to feed, one must be fed. (in all areas) and then after the day is said and done, I must have time to balance with my sweet husband. He comes in the door each night after his long day and we both desire to complete the balance, by encouraging one another. This part of my day is crucial, because if I've given all I've got, and have nothing left to give my husband whom God gave to me, what good is this? Excellence my friends. Find that smile within you, paste in on your face, and when your husband (wife, mom, dad, sister, cousin or child) walks through that door, that smile will give birth to a much better evening.
I have to strive for excellence, because God calls me to.
"Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men." Colosions 3:23

Do I do this perfectly every day and all the time? No. I'm not yet in heaven. :)
But I do ask the Lord for excellence in all I do, and to help me strive for this each day, afternoon and night. God is my God and He can answer these prayers for you and I. He want us to succeed and excel because it brings glory to His name, and when we have served well, He will say, "well done, good and faithful servent, in whom I am well pleased."
can you imagine hearing those words on the lips of our Savior? The thought brings tears to my eyes, that He, My God, might think that I have served Him well. So friends, whatever you do, do it with all your might for this, makes the only one who really matters, proud.

Every Move I Make

Remember this song?
you may if you ever went to youth group or heard this on the lips of your teenagers as they came home from Sunday school, but the words found their way onto my lips this morning on my way home from the gym, (my car radio is broke, so I'm improvising) haha.

Every move I make I make in You
You make me move, Jesus
Every breath I take
I breathe in You
Every step I take I take in You
You are my way, Jesus
Every breath I take I breathe in You
Waves of mercy
Waves of grace
Everywhere I look I see Your face
Your love has captured me
Oh my God, this love
How can it be!!!

As these words flew off my lips today I thought about what I was ACTUALLY saying and the implications of what this song really meant.
It means that EVERY MOVE I MAKE is in Christ, and every breath I take...
Every breath? How many breaths do you think an average person breaths each day? 17,280 breaths. (thanks to google)
My jaw dropped when I discovered this fact because that means, that is how many times the name of Jesus should be on my lips, if I truly breath Him in with each breath.
And with the reality of breathing Him in that many times each day, I in return experience His "waves of Mercy, and waves of Grace.."
It's stunning to me, His mercy. My friends, I sin so constantly, even with my best intentions, I still falter, stumble and quite often fall into the trap the enemy has set for me. I become ashamed and discouraged, but LOOK! waves of mercy! waves of Grace and His love, once again captures me. How can it be?!
And then today in His word, He tells me this,
"I guide you in the way of wisdom and lead you along strait paths. When you walk, your steps will not be hampered, when you run, you will not stumble." Prov. 4:11,12
Is that not what I was asking for? And this is what He provides...
So as I move today, as I breath each of those 17,280 breaths, I am reminded of His great love, His great mercy and His great grace...
I think as humans it's hard for us to really grasp His greatness, or even that He is really real. God can feel distant and actually to many, fake. But When i breath my last breath and I take my last step I know that I can be confident of this, each of those breaths were the Lords, and the steps His also. And as the reality of His greatness sets in on the day He calls me home, I pray that my life steps and breaths were a testimony to His existence, reality and glimpses of His tangible hand.
I know this is a tall order, and a mighty quest, but I have only this life on earth for such a short time so I desire to have my every move be His, so to not miss out on any of His lessons, words and desire for use. I have alot of learning, growing and changing to do, this I know...but great is My GOD, and I know friends, as faithful as He is to me each new breath, so He is and will be to you.
Oh my GOD this LOVE, how can it be?

Generation text, tweet, and ocassionally, call...

I know, right, like wow. Like, listen to this, my Mom totally made me take a nap today.

Of course I cried like a baby, why'd you ask?

Hold on, I've got another call on the other line.

Okay I'm back, wait, I have a text, let me quick text Auntie Erin back,

OMG! Luv u 2! TTFN.

Oh, the life a phone-aholic.